To love women in a religious home was too big a sin to even think about. That was why I'd resorted to writing it, under a different name.
Nobody could find out what an anomaly I was.
I channeled the love I had for my literature teacher in the small town college into my book. Except—my father had somehow found the sketchy website on the family computer after I'd fallen asleep.
That had been the beginning of my misfortune. I hadn't even realized the teacher was still there until she spoke again.
"What do you mean by they're not yours?"
I leaned into the wall behind me. "I think I was transported into the book I was writing. I don't know how it happened or why, but I remember this exact scene, being with you in your office like this. I can't quite explain it because I don't understand what is going on." I looked up at her before grabbing her hand. "But you must help me, I need to go back."
Her eyes were wide with horror, "What you need is a mental evaluation. I think this matter is beyond me."
"No! You need to believe me. I remember running out of the house and then falling inside that ditch…" I trailed off as sudden realization hit me. "The ditch! I think that's the way for me to go back."
"What I think is that you need to stop this madness." She pushed my hand away from hers before sitting on the couch. She fished a packet of cigarettes out of her pocket.
"Wait…" I stood up and walked over to her. "You're not supposed to be smoking."
She brought out a lighter. "Why?"
"The teacher in my book does not smoke. I didn't write it that way," I replied. "You're supposed to be a goody-two shoes."
She took a deep inhale before letting out a cloud of smoke. "Whatever the hell that means. Go back to your dorm, you know where to find me when you're ready to say words that make sense when you talk to me."
"But it does make sense—" Nope. It didn't, not even to me. "You need to help me get back to the real world."
She stood up and went to her seat, gathering the books on her desk. "Close the door on your way out."
I panicked. "But you can't leave me all on my own. How about I prove it to you, that I'm not from here and we're really just in a book I was writing."
She paused for a second. "I'm listening."
"I'll tell you something about yourself that no one else knows."
She made her way over to me, eyes peering into my face like I was some science experiment she was trying to figure out. "Go ahead. And it better not be some stuff you found out by snooping around my file."
She lit up the cigarette again and took a long drag, the smoke drifting to my face. "I should've had them reassign you on your first day. I had to put up with this before, why do I need to do it—"
"I know about your curse. Your unquenchable thirst for blood, especially on a full moon. It's a secret you've kept from the sisters because you're afraid they'll turn you away. I mean that's the sensible thing to do."
I'd expected her to be surprised that I knew such a crucial information about her. But the words were barely out of my mouth when she grabbed my collar and pulled me up.
"You're going to the isolation room. Either you've read too many comics or your imagtion is running wild. I'll tell the sisters that you're unfit to mingle with the other students. That you've lost your goddamn mind and I'm afraid you'll corrupt the others."
The thick fabric of the uniform I was wearing bit into my neck, I already knew it was going to bruise. "I swear I'm not losing my mind."
I could feel the pressure building in my chest, my breath catching. I could hear my father's voice echoing in the background, 'you're losing your mind, you're losing your mind'. But I swear I was not losing mind, why couldn't anyone see that?
"Better not go around spewing this nonsense for anyone that cares to listen. You're only going to endanger yourself." I could hear the warning in her voice.
The sound came out of me before I realized I was crying. "I just want to go back. I don't want to be trapped here. I need to go back."
I slid down the wall with my face in my hands. If only I could close my eyes and wake up in my own bed. I'd never have fallen asleep without logging out and shutting down the computer.
My body shook as I cried, it was hard to contain the tears once they started rolling down my face.
"Mary…" She looked unsure of what to do with me. She put her hand forward, awkwardly rubbing circles on my back in an attempt to comfort me. "How about you leave this school before it's too late. You've only been here a week, you don't have friends yet. It's not too late to save yourself."
I raised my head slightly, sniffing. "Then help me, I need to leave and go back to my world."
"Darling…" she cleared her throat before correcting herself. "Mary, there is no other world except this one. Everyone is going to think you've gone mad if you keep saying this."
"But, I swear it…I do not belong here."
The look in her eyes were sympathetic. "I have a couple medications that might help you." Using her right thumb she wiped the tears off my face. "If your condition persists then we might consider you being schizophrenic. Only problem is the nuns will think you've been possessed by a demon. They think mental illness is a spiritual attack."
I blinked up at her. "I swear, I'm not possessed."
She patted my head before stepping away. "Let's hope so."
I followed her. "If I can prove that this is really a fictional world I created—will you help me find a way back to the real world?"
She was about to answer when the door to her office burst open. She immediately moved away from me.
"Ms. Duval," a prim voice called before an old looking woman walked in. Her head was covered with a veil, her lips set in a deep frown.
I immediately knew it was Sister Gertrude, she was in charge of the dorms. The tip of her little finger was gone, a dog had attacked her the previous year and bit it off in fury.
She immediately put her hands at her back. "I came to take you back to the dorm. The headmistress wants to address you because of…" I could see the wheels in her head turning to find a suitable world. "The tantrums."
I looked at Ms. Duval whose face was void of any emotion. She shook her head at me, once, before turning to Sister Gertrude. "I'll bring her medication to the dorm after I discuss her situation with the clinic."
Sister Gertrude turned up her mouth in a snubbish pout. "What I think she needs is more prayers. Drugs will not fix a heart that has turned away from the Lord. Now, come child, we must not leave. The headmistress is waiting."
I turned to Duval, eyes pleadingt, as Gertrude pulled me out of the office. What I meant to say was, 'please do not leave me with these people'.
"You have caused quite the uproar since your admission into the school. Don't think I don't know about your late night rendezvous." Gertrude turned to give me a disapproving stare before dragging me across the courtyard.
There were no students in sight.
"Have you been meeting with Ms. Duval in private?" she asked, the question throwing me off balance.
"This is my first time meeting her," I replied, my breathe seizing when we got to the headmistress's office.
Her name was boldly written on the door. 'Sister Agnes'.
I knew she'd be sporting a frown even before the door opened. She was a middle-aged woman who stood over 6ft tall, and her height was the least intimidating thing about her.
"You may leave now Sister, I'll escort her back to the dorm myself." She adjusted the glasses that was sliding off her nose. "Mary. Sit."
I sat there, boucing my legs to ease off the nerves until she shot me a glare and I had to put a hand on it to stop the movement. She was every bit scary like I'd written her to be.
If there was anyone I had to keep my predicament from, it was her. It's not like she'd be able to help me anyway.
She finally cleared her throat and turned to me. "I was away on official duty so I wasn't able to welcome you after your enrollment." She picked up a file I assumed was mine and flipped through it.
"Lost your parents a couple weeks ago, and you have no other relatives or…" she scanned a couple pages. "Usually we wouldn't offer admission to girls without a legal guardian, because if anything were to happen to you, the school would be solely responsible."
I gulped, unsure which direction this conversation was going.
"This is why I have to be extra careful with you. If you abide by the rules of the school, I assure you we'll have no problem." She closed the file, putting her hands on the table. "Which is why I'll be sending you to solitary confinement until you understand that your behaviour this afternoon is unacceptable."
My heart dropped. "What? Like they do in prisons?"
"I suggest you correct your view of what discipline is here. To think of committing suicide is a sin punishable by death itself. Your confessions will be scheduled every night until such evil thought is purged out of you."
"No!" I cried out in horror. "I swear, I did not mean to kill myself. There's a misunderstanding, I'm not the real Mary."
"Whatever do you mean by that, child?"
I opened my mouth and closed it, unsure how to explain to her without coming off as a lunatic—or worse, possessed. It would be easier to leave the school but that ditch was likely the portal back. I wouldn't be able to access it if I wasn't a student.
"Nothing. I'm just…" I didn't know what else to do.
"Go to the Chapel. The priest will tell you what to do." She gestured for me to leave.
I was halfway through the door when she spoke again. "While you're at it, make sure you stay away from Ms. Duval."
"Why?"
The pity in her eyes was a huge contrast to the anger in them a second ago. "She's the reason the last girl killed herself."