Chapter 4: Black Zetsu: You're Ready to Die... Huh?
After Deidara helped destroy the used "PowerPoint presentation," Hidan was called back into the cave.
Hidan noticed that the others' attitudes toward Shiromo had shifted. It seemed that Shiromo had actually proposed a convincing strategy or plan.
Hidan scratched his head, feeling curious.
Before Hidan could say anything, Shiromo spoke again. "Besides the plan I just mentioned, there's another one that could also be used for deterrence. However, it's more complicated to implement."
"Tell me, tell me! Who's the next one with the honor of deterring the ninja world? The next victim... uh, I mean, who's next?" Deidara asked, unusually excited, almost blurting out his true feelings.
"Konan-neechan..."
Shiromo's gaze turned to Konan, and his form of address changed without him even realizing it.
Konan's heart skipped a beat. Before Shiromo could finish speaking, she walked up to him, placed a hand on his shoulder, and said with a cold, complex expression, "I beg you."
"Since you've begged me, Konan, I'll reveal my plan," Shiromo replied, seemingly understanding her unspoken words.
"No..." Konan looked conflicted.
She wanted to stop Shiromo from proposing an outrageous strategy where she was the protagonist. But at the same time, she knew that what Shiromo proposed could benefit both Akatsuki and Amegakure.
"Konan, your disguise abilities are pretty good, right?" Shiromo asked.
"...Not bad," Konan replied.
Her heart skipped a beat when she heard that.
To guard against "Madara," she had disguised explosive tags as "sea," and her divine origami technique was so advanced that even Madara's Mangekyo Sharingan couldn't see through it.
Konan hadn't expected Shiromo to bring this up, but she couldn't be too explicit. For the sake of the village and Akatsuki, she reluctantly gave her approval.
"That's good then. Konan-nee, you disguise your explosive tags as toilet paper, mix them in, and sell them to the Five Great Shinobi Villages. When they use the toilet paper to wipe their bottoms… Let the world feel pain! Art is an explosion!" Shiromo proclaimed, this time delivering his own passionate speech without the PowerPoint presentation.
"The last two sentences sounded oddly familiar."
Hidan, lacking in intelligence, blurted out a comment that made everyone smile, while the rest of the group was left speechless and shocked.
Deidara, hearing his signature cool lines stolen by Shiromo and used in such a way, felt as disgusted as if he'd grabbed the wrong stick halfway through a fight.
"I beg you..." Deidara muttered, unable to hold back.
"You have to wait in line to beg. I'm currently discussing a plan specifically for Konan," Shiromo pointed at her.
Konan's expression was one of helplessness, utter despair, and a hint of admiration. This was something she could do but had never even considered.
"No! We can't do that!" Kakuzu suddenly shouted in a deep voice, startling everyone.
The Akatsuki members stared at Kakuzu in surprise. Was he really opposing this plan?
Had they all misjudged Kakuzu?
"Why?" Shiromo and Konan asked in unison, their expressions strange.
They exchanged a brief glance before focusing on Kakuzu.
"How much does an explosive tag cost? How much does a roll of toilet paper cost? How much money would you lose by disguising explosive tags as toilet paper? Have you even calculated that?!" Kakuzu's green eyes glared angrily at Shiromo.
Kakuzu's indignant questioning made Konan secretly breathe a sigh of relief.
Looks like the deception hasn't been exposed. She knew it; even "Uchiha Madara" couldn't see through the disguise. How could Kakuzu possibly detect it?
"Kakuzu, you're so narrow-minded," Shiromo said, shaking his head.
"Narrow-minded?! Do you know how long I've lived?" Kakuzu narrowed his eyes.
"A thousand years?" Shiromo quipped.
"..."
"Looks like no, you haven't even lived a thousand years. Don't act like you're some ancient, wise figure. Besides, I'm not insulting you; I have a point.
"I heard Hidan once asked you why you didn't just kill everyone in the bounty hunter organization, wouldn't you earn more that way? Your answer was that earning bounty missions is the only sustainable way."
"That's a solid economic concept. However, in this matter, you're only seeing the immediate benefits, not the long-term development."
Shiromo spoke, and Kakuzu listened carefully. Despite the irritation Shiromo's comment caused, Kakuzu held back his anger. What followed was crucial. Shiromo's past plans had proven his strategic ability. Kakuzu trusted him completely.
"First, there's a saying: you can't skimp on military spending. The military expenses you save for yourself will eventually become debts owed to others. Second, have you forgotten the Amegakure development plan I showed you before?"
"Stable development will generate enough revenue to support dozens of loss-making projects like this one. What's more, we can produce our own toilet paper. Toilet paper produced elsewhere might explode, but ours will be safe to use, that's a monopoly."
"The Five Great Shinobi Villages will have no choice but to use our toilet paper. We'll print some pictures and slogans on the toilet paper. As everyone knows, people like to look at things while they're taking a dump. Then, the ordinary people of the Five Great Shinobi Villages will be subtly influenced by us…"
Shiromo paused for a moment, letting the others process the idea.
"Of course, they can always stop using paper and go back to wiping with twigs and grass. But that would make their delicate bottoms more susceptible to damage. And you know what happens next."
Shiromo stopped speaking, and everyone immediately understood: Hidan had returned.
They couldn't discuss it openly now.
"Your plan is actually interconnected? Unbelievable!" Deidara's voice echoed the group's thoughts.
"I have another question," Kakuzu spoke again, his tone serious. "What do you mean by printing things on the toilet paper? You want the Five Great Shinobi Villages to accept Akatsuki's ideals? You must be delusional. Putting everything else aside, once we start capturing the Tailed Beasts, we and the Five Great Shinobi Villages will be mortal enemies no matter what."
The others silently agreed. Even those like Pain, Konan, and Deidara, who somewhat desired their ideals (art?) to be recognized, didn't believe the people of the Five Great Shinobi Villages would understand them.
"This is the last thing I have to say. I've decided that Akatsuki will abandon its plan to capture the Tailed Beasts and create the Ten-Tails for deterrence," Shiromo said, his expression serious.
"..."
Pain, who had been standing silently in the corner, stirred slightly.
However, compared to Nagato, the one whose emotions were most disturbed was Black Zetsu below.
The moment those words were spoken, in Black Zetsu's mind, Shiromo was already marked for death.
Just as Black Zetsu was planning when to inform Obito and have him eliminate Shiromo, Shiromo's next words completely stunned him.
"Our new plan is to resurrect Otsutsuki Kaguya."
(End of this chapter)