"Back straight. Eyes focused. Steady legs, steady heart."
I repeat the phrases in my head as I gather and lift the soft ends of my puffy baby pink dress between my fingers so that I don't trip while I walk down the stairs. There's a million other things running through my mind, with the wedding in only three days.
I don't know why my stepmother thought now was the best time to hold the annual Pearl Ladies charity ball, but when I tried to convince her to change the dates she refused. So here I am, three days before my wedding at yet another public appearance when all I really want to do is munch on ice chips in my apartment and finalise all the small details about the wedding like the seating and the catering and the actual morning ceremony.
I feel everyone's eyes on me as I descend into the grand ballroom. People are whispering about my sense of fashion, maybe how I've lost weight or gained it, maybe how they don't think I am a worthy choice for my fiancé. I know because this is all they ever talk about at these events behind my back.
The ballroom is beautiful, and if I hadn't already planned another venue for my wedding I would have loved to have my wedding here. It's certainly large enough to hold about a thousand guests. Tonight it's decorated with silver banners that spell out "the 29th Pearl Ladies charity ball" and fake pearls are stuck onto the walls and tables. Everyone is wearing all kinds of beautiful dresses, from chiffon to satin to silk and charmingly colorful suits.
Even though it's a beautiful place and everyone looks wonderful, a part of me despises it, like it always has. I was not born into wealth unlike my fiancé. It was only when my father married my stepmother that our lives took a wealthier turn.
I make eye contact with my stepsister standing beside my stepmother, and she purses her lips and looks away, pretending not to see me. Mira is wearing a dress that looks like mine, baby pink and puffy but the cut is different. Her dress looks more modest but still gorgeous with a higher neckline and longer train. I realise that she intentionally wore this dress to try to annoy me. Mira has never really liked me no matter how hard I tried to please her as a younger sister. My stepmother Eva Little is the chairwoman of the Pearl Ladies, so she's near the stage conversing with some other women about the rundown of the event.
I feel my stance relaxing slightly when arms wrap around me from behind. I would recognise his clean and woodsy scent anywhere.
It's Gaven Crow. My fiancé, the man I love more than anyone else.
I turn around just as he bends down to kiss me. His lips taste like a mix of mint and cigarettes.
"Gaven," I say, shaking my head and softly chiding him for smoking.
"Mmm. I know, I know. I'll stop smoking soon. Relax, Rhea," he winks as he offers an arm for me to slip mine into.
It's the hardest thing to do, when someone tells me to relax, and he is the only one who can affect me this way and he knows it. I hide my irritation by stiffening and smiling tightly while we're in public, and I take his arm. Back straight. Eyes focused. Steady legs, steady heart.
He sweeps me around the room and we make our rounds, greeting a whole bunch of people that I can never remember the names of.
"That's Lady Lowe. That's Mr. Coin and Mrs. Gaunt. Oh, there's Luisa!"
He whispers to me all the names of the high society figures and then pulls me towards his younger sister. Luisa is the only one here who probably loves me more than Gaven does. I'm thankful we became friends, she's very sweet and bubbly.
She hugs me and then clasps my hands as we approach and shoos Gaven away to get us some drinks.
"Rhea! I can't believe you're getting married in three days! How are you feeling?" Luisa asks.
"Stressed, but excited!" I say, wiggling my engagement ring around on my finger.
Luisa holds my hand and she looks at the ring.
"Oh can you imagine! In three days it'll be a wedding ring and not an engagement ring!"
We squeal in unison, and then I ask her, "and what about you, are you bringing a date to the wedding?"
Luisa grins and she says, "of course I am! But you know, we're just friends."
I smile and I whisper, "tell me all about this friend!"
Luisa laughs and starts recounting the story of how she and her current boy toy met.
"Oh, he's a sexy man! The sexiest!"
"And, have you tried the goods?" I waggle my eyebrows.
"Haha god no, you know what I would do," Luisa says.
"Is he here?" I nudge Luisa with a conspiratory look.
Luisa giggles and nods, pointing him out in the crowd but I can only see his back. He's tall, perhaps even taller than Gaven and he has dark curly hair with broad shoulders while Gaven has straight blond locks and he's more lean.
Gaven chooses this moment to come back, carrying glasses of Sauvignon Blanc.
"What are we talking about?" He leans in, wrapping an arm around my waist.
I point at the man in question and Gaven raises his eyebrows.
"You know him?" He looks at me with a wounded puppy look.
I laugh and I say, "no, but Luisa might."
Luisa thwacks my arm playfully and we laugh.
That's when the soft music starts playing, signaling everyone to look at the stage.
My stepmother steps gracefully on the stage, waving her hand to settle the loud clapping.
"Thank you everyone for coming to our 29th Charity Ball. On behalf of the Pearl Ladies I would like to extend a warm welcome to all our guests, including our gracious benefactors and all of the guests participating in our charity auction!"
More clapping sounds erupt all around the ballroom as my stepmother steps down from the stage and the rest of the event starts in earnest.
The charity auction goes on for a while and I attempt to busy myself exchanging pleasantries with more strangers, lots of random people congratulating me and Gaven, and taking breaks on the balcony to take some sips of wine.
It's almost the end of the night, and Gaven has gone to the men's room for a while so I'm just at the balcony finishing up my wine when I hear a rustling noise behind me.
I glance back and surprise flickers across my face when I see the man Luisa was talking about. He comes closer and up close he's even more handsome than he looked from afar. He has a charming and classically handsome look to him, like he stepped off the pages of a fairytale book, one would only have to stick a crown on his head and that would be perfect. He has a small scar under his chin down to the middle of his neck, and he towers above me in his dark blue suit.
"Would you mind if I joined you for a few minutes?" He asks politely.
I nod, moving aside to make space for him.
He stands next to me, and clinks his glass against mine as we both drink from our glasses.
"I haven't had the privilege of talking to you yet," he starts.
I smile and say, "it's no privilege. I'm just another lady here."
Almost affronted he says, "You are the most beautiful woman I've seen."
Startled, I look up at him, and he sounds so sincere.
Then my lips curl into a smile and I say, "don't let Luisa catch you saying that."
He tips his head back and lets out a chuckle.
"You and I both know Luisa wouldn't give a damn," he says.
That I do know, as Luisa's preferences lie elsewhere.
The sky above has darkened and all I can see when I look at are the dots of stars and the city laid out before us.
"I'm getting married in three days," I blurt out.
The man clears his throat and says, "oh, I didn't know. Congratulations."
"Thank you," I say.
I should be feeling happy. I am happy. I have everything I ever wanted. So why do I still feel like something is missing?
The man reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a card, that he promptly hands to me.
"My name is William Singer, of Singer & Sons. If you're ever in need of a room at any of our hotels, give me a call and I can arrange one for you for free. Consider it as a wedding gift."
"That's so generous of you," I say, pressing a hand to my heart.
Just as I see Gaven heading towards the balcony, I slip the card into my purse.
"Thank you, William." I say again, as I give him a handshake.
He is strong and yet soft beneath my touch. I turn away and tell him, "I'm sorry I've got to get back to my fiancé, but it was great meeting you."
"Likewise," he nods, looking out at the view as I leave.
Gaven escorts me back home, making sure I get back safely. I pull him in for more kisses and ask him if he wants to come up to my apartment.
"Not tonight, love. I've got a bit of work to do before the wedding. But after the wedding I promise I'm all yours," Gaven kisses my nose and ushers me into my flat.
I fall asleep feeling a bit disappointed but still thinking of the many things to do before the wedding.
Tomorrow, I have to get the cake delivered and do a final fitting of my dress. Then I need to make sure my bridesmaids all have their dresses and that any last minute changes can be done as soon as possible. Then the day before my wedding is supposed to be a relaxing spa day, before everything starts getting really busy in the evening preparing for the wedding morning. I'm ready. And still it feels like I'm really not ready.
I've doubted myself more than I can count, hearing opinions and criticisms time and time again, but this is one thing I don't doubt.
That I love Gaven Crow with everything I have and I know that will bring me past anything else that stands in the way.