Fifth year Gryffindor student Harry Potter entered the office of his Head of House, Professor McGonagall, for their scheduled career's advice meeting.
He made a point of ignoring the fastidious control freak Dolores Umbridge who was sitting in the corner of the room taking notes and sat himself down in the seat opposite from Professor McGonagall.
McGonagall got straight down to business.
"Mr Potter, during our session we will be going over various possibilities for a future career for yourself, as well as deciding which subjects you will need to take at N.E.W.T level in order to qualify for your desired career. Understand?"
"Perfectly," replied Harry, who was doing his best to ignore the scratching of Umbridge's quill as she scribbled down notes.
"Very well," said McGonagall as she took out a sheet of parchment and laid it on the desk between them. "I have here the list that you submitted a fortnight ago of possible careers that you were interested in discussing further. First on the list was Professional Quidditch Player."
"That's right, but-" began Harry, but was interrupted before he could continue.
"Hem, hem." coughed Professor Umbridge in her corner.
McGonagall pretended to not notice and continued on. "Obviously there are few subjects on the Hogwarts curriculum that can help you in this area. One recommendation that I can made for your N.E.W.T years is that you sign up to assist Madam Hooch in teaching younger students to fly as this shows a willingness to get involved and, above all, team spirit.
"Ok, but-" said Harry, before being interrupted again.
"Hem, hem." coughed Professor Umbridge.
McGonagall took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment before continuing. "But of course the best and most obvious thing to do is become proficient at the game itself, something that you are well on the way to perfecting-"
"Yes, but-"Harry tried again, only to again be interrupted.
Professor Umbridge did not bother coughing this time, and instead just began talking. "Minerva, I am afraid that I must interrupt you here. Mr Potter is currently serving a lifetime ban from the sport of Quidditch. This will, of course, extend beyond his school years so suffice to say that discussing the possibility of him ever playing professionally is doing nothing but giving him false hope."
McGonagall's nostrils flared in anger before turning her attention back to the list in her hand.
"Very well, let us set that option aside for now and move on."
"Actually I-" Harry attempted, but McGonagall spoke over him.
"Next on your list is Curse Breaker. I'm sorry Mr Potter, but in order to become a successful curse breaker you must have a good education in the subjects of Ancient Runes and Arithmancy, neither of which you elected to take for your O.W.L years and so cannot take them at N.E.W.T level. Perhaps we ought to be doing more to assist second years when selecting their O.W.L options."
Umbridge scribbled something down on a separate piece of parchment. Like any good idea she heard she stole it and took the credit.
Harry tried to say something, but McGonagall carried on talking.
"Now, your third choice was working in Muggle Relations. Why did you select this option, Mr Potter?"
"Hermione said that I should have something to fall back on if the Quidditch thing didn't work out," replied Harry.
"But you did not take Muggle Studies," said Professor McGonagall.
Harry frowned in confusion before replying "I grew up in the Muggle world and I return there every summer. How am I not qualified? Anyway-"
Umbridge interrupted this time. "I'm afraid that your repeated breaching of the Statute of Secrecy by performing magic in the presence of Muggles will disbar you from consideration for joining the Muggle Liaison Office at the Ministry."
"Fine," said Harry. "But-"
"And your fourth and final option is to join the Auror corps," said Professor McGonagall.
At this Umbridge got to her feet and shouted "There is no chance of Mr Potter ever joining the ranks of the Aurors! His criminal record will see to that!"
McGonagall got to her feet and retorted "He doesn't have a criminal record! He was cleared of all charges by the Wizengamot!"
"On a technicality orchestrated by Dumbledore!"
"HEY!" shouted Harry, jumping to his feet to stand between them. "What kind of example is this to be setting to one of your students?"
His outburst evidently caught them both off guard, for they offered no reply but gaped at him with open mouths.
"Now then, I have been trying to tell you since I came in here that I have actually changed my mind regarding my options."
"Why didn't you say anything?" asked McGonagall.
"Because between the two, of you I couldn't get a word in edgeways. Now, will you two be quiet and let me talk, or should I just walk out of here and file a complaint with anyone and everyone that I can think of regarding the quality of this meeting?"
McGonagall's mouth was a thin line, a sign of anger, but she sat down in her chair and gestured for Harry to do the same.
Harry looked to Umbridge. The toad-like woman was red in the face and ready to explode, but one look at McGonagall's made her sit down.
"Right," said Harry, as he retook his seat. "As I was saying, I have changed my mind regarding my future prospects since handing in that list. A couple of days ago Hermione and I sat down and went through a couple of things, only to come to the conclusion that I probably won't have to do too much work myself once I leave Hogwarts."
Again both women were caught off guard by this and it took McGonagall a few minutes to recover.
"And how, exactly, did you come to that conclusion, Mr Potter?"
"Oh, it's simple really," said Harry "We just had to crunch the numbers."
"Crunch the numbers?" echoed McGonagall.
"Yeah. See, this is how I see it. To start with there is the money that I already have stored away in Gringotts, which I can tell you is already a rather substantial amount. This sum will only be boosted by the lawsuits."
"Lawsuits?" asked McGonagall.
"Oh yes. You see, I've noticed a pattern with the way things go around here. No matter the problems going on, a large amount of them always gets resolved by the end of the school year, say around the middle of May to early June. The way I figure it, the truth about Voldemort's return to power will be revealed about then."