"Asshole…"
Rai felt his throat tighten more than it ever had before, like the word itself had scraped its way out. His tongue refused to cooperate, stiff and unresponsive, as if even it didn't know how to handle this moment.
He was stuck.
Completely.
Never in his life had he imagined a day like this would come.
Zade…
The biggest pain in his ass…
Apologizing to him.
It didn't make sense. It didn't fit into anything Rai knew, anything he had built in his head about who Zade was supposed to be.
Maybe Rai lacked empathy. He didn't feel anything about that sad little backstory Zade had spilled out moments ago. Not pity. Not understanding. Nothing.
And honestly?
That felt fair.
Because whatever Zade had gone through… it had still ended with Rai becoming a target. A punching bag. A convenient outlet for whatever issues Zade carried around.
So why should Rai care?
The past didn't matter to him.
Only the present did.
And right now,
For a brief, strange second…
It felt like nothing mattered at all.
Not the apology.
Not the history.
Not even this bastard sitting in front of him.
But then Rai looked at him again…
Really looked.
Zade was a mess. Drunk to the point of falling apart, shoulders slack, breathing uneven. His usual sharpness was gone, replaced by something fragile, something that looked dangerously close to breaking. His eyes were glassy, unfocused… like he was holding onto himself by a thread.
Like he might cry.
And just seconds ago,
That same bastard had said sorry too…
Something twisted inside Rai.
He felt it before he could stop it.
He felt…
happy.
It was ugly. Twisted. Almost cruel.
And he knew it. Clearly knew it.
Who the hell feels happy seeing someone like this?
But this was Zade.
That's how it is between them.
Rai hoped Zade was not misunderstanding anything…
Can one sloppy apology and a half-drunken explanation really erase everything between them?
All the bitterness?
All the anger?
All the damage?
No.
That wasn't how things worked.
Rai still hated Zade.
That hadn't changed.
If anything…
Now he had another reason to.
His jaw tightened slightly, something sharper cutting through the haze of his thoughts.
'He thought I was like that creep friend of his.'
That...
That stung.
More than it should have.
More than Rai was willing to admit.
It so fucking stung.
"Are you even in your senses?"
Rai asked it flatly, almost bored, but the tightness underneath gave him away.
For a second, there was only silence.
Then Zade chuckled.
Low. Rough. Still very much conscious.
Yeah… the bastard was awake. Very awake.
"I am, darling. Very much," Zade muttered, voice slurred but deliberate. "So fucking focused, actually… I can still read that expression on your face."
Rai didn't respond. Didn't move.
Zade knew him well enough to be annoying even like this.
"I know, Rai," he continued, tilting his head slightly, eyes half-lidded but sharp in a way that didn't match how drunk he looked. "You still hate me."
A pause.
"And if you thought I wanted anything out of that apology, no." A faint, crooked smirk tugged at his lips. "I still find you annoying as hell."
Rai rolled his eyes, slow and deliberate.
There it was.
That felt… right.
"But at least now," Zade went on, his voice dipping just a little, "you know why I started hating you. Even though, in the process, you gave me more reasons to do it for a true reason."
His gaze hardened, locking onto Rai's.
"I did you wrong," he said more clearly this time. "Hated you for the wrong reason."
Rai scoffed quietly, leaning back just a fraction, as if putting space between them without actually moving away.
Zade glared at him.
And Rai,
Rai rolled his eyes again.
But deep inside, something twisted.
Something… thrilled.
For a reason he didn't want to examine too closely.
Because this...
This was it.
This was how it was supposed to be.
Not that awkward, heavy apology from before.
Not that fragile, almost-breaking version of Zade.
No.
This.
The bite.
The edge.
The irritation crawling under his skin.
This was real.
They hated each other.
They couldn't stand each other.
No matter what.
And Rai didn't want that to change.
He wouldn't even know how to exist if it did.
Not that he believed it ever would.
People like them didn't just… fix things.
Didn't just move on.
They clashed.
They burned.
They tore into each other over and over again until there was nothing left.
Rai's gaze darkened slightly, his jaw tightening.
There was no going back.
Not now.
Not ever.
For absolutely any reason after all these years.
They were going to be at each other's throats…
Until one of them finally broke.
That's when it ends.
And Rai was glad to know the bastard understood it.
"Well, good to know."
Rai said, staring ahead, then turning to Zade as he felt the piercing gaze of the man.
"Rai. You are such a bitch."
"That's the second time you called me that, and I don't appreciate it."
"Good to know, darling."
"And I don't like that either."
"Well, I don't care. Honestly, when I got the notification that you were my roommate, I felt so fucking annoyed. But then… I was excited. I wanted to know. See for myself. Were you still the same? And I found it out the very first moment we talked. You're still that boring, annoying, aloof, perfect-and-headache guy."
"Thank you. I wish to be more annoying if possible. Asshole."
"Heh… you still talk like that young guy."
"Well, did you not realize it's the same with you?"
"Well, I guess I just can't help it. When I see you, I just can't help it."
Zade said, and then, to make it dramatic, and more annoying, looked at Rai and licked his lips, giving him a very obvious check-out glance.
Gotta give him the credit.
Rai got goosebumps.
All over.
'Asshole.'