"I can predict this… "
A young man was looking at the screen of his phone. With blue light flickering on his face.
"Yeah, probably," he cursed.
He was watching an immortal cultivation fantasy series. The show currently had a handsome cultivation young master in flowing robes, glaring and cursing at an imaginary enemy in his mind.
"You bastard!" "How dare you do this to this young master!"
The young man watching snorted.
"After all, this is repetitive."
The subtitles flashed quickly, but he read them easily as the scene focused on the young master, who was obsessing over revenge and a single name.
Chu Feng.
The young man rolled his eyes.
"You're really still thinking about taking revenge on Feng Ch—no, Chu Feng," he scoffed.
"Unbelievable."
He adjusted his pillow and moved his head position before continuing his commentary.
"He's the protagonist. Capital M. Capital C," he said, shaking his head. "He already crippled your upper dantian, you can no longer improve your cultivation."
He paused briefly before adding with a confused helpless and confused expression, "And yet, you still want to smoke?"
"Sigh… once you go back, you'll be a useless young master," he said between chuckles.
He leaned toward the screen and pointed, like a tired teacher scolding a hopeless student.
"After all, your subordinates, those idiots who kidnapped his childhood sweetheart and tried to offer her to you as a cultivation furnace, the moment he sees them, he's going to completely lose it. He'll go mad like a kangaroo with rabies."
In the drama on his phone, the scene suddenly showed a flashback.
It featured Chu Feng's childhood sweetheart.
She stared at the floor but her cheeks were wet from crying. She had no choice. Marry the Lin family or her family would suffer.
Next, a new scene.
Chu Feng as he got the orb was in his hand. He lifted his head. His eyes burned. He would find her no matter what.
The young man watching was not even surprised.
"Told ya.
"Your subordinates would die there like a passing wind.
"And you?
"Given your background, he might let you go for now. However, he just received a one-time curse ability from his system that gradually destroys both the middle and lower dantians. I'm sure he would use it on you. And being cursed by that ability would be worse than death. After all, your little brother down below won't function, and you'll never be able to touch his childhood sweetheart or any woman again."
He sighed.
"After that, he'll return to secluded cultivation with the Idle Cultivation System. Where the lazier he gets, the stronger he becomes…
"Meanwhile, your Lin Family would continue sending people after him, one group after another, all of them failing miserably…
"Once he reaches a certain level, that'll be the end of the Lin Family."
He paused the drama, freezing the image on Lin He's furious face.
"If I were you, I won't go," the young man said lightly, "I'd just enjoy life."
He grinned.
"Live comfortably as a rich young master. Eat well. Sleep well. Maybe even build a harem."
He nodded to himself, he was clearly pleased with the thought of it.
"And if I get the chance, I would search for a way to rebuild my damaged upper dantian in my forehead," he continued. "Yes… There are some pills that can restore the body, ancient pools, or maybe an immortal doctor hiding in a cave somewhere.
Then his lips twitched.
"Why are young masters in every cultivation story this stupid? We have the same name, please be a little different from other young masters!!"
Sigh.
On the screen, Lin He turned around, clearly preparing to march toward his doom.
The young man smirked.
"Yep. Whatever. Go die."
Suddenly, Lin He froze.
On the phone screen, the young master in the drama he had been mocking suddenly clutched his head in agony. After that, he passed out again.
The young man found it peculiar and funny.
"LOL. See!? Your head is still reeling, and you're so impatient to take revenge!?" But he suddenly stopped his commentary. Because the drama froze, the screen went black. Then white. Then gray.
The drama froze, and the screen turned black. Then it flashed white. Then gray.
All of a sudden, the screen began to spin with strange colors, like it was pulling him in.
"Huh?"
His phone started to shake. He let go, but it didn't fall. It suspended in the air. Causing his eyes to go wide.
Then---swoorp!
He was sucked like dust.
Next thing he knew, he heard people shouting around him.
"Young master!"
"Young master is breathing!!"
Light suddenly shined on his face. He tried to move, but pain… it was all over his body.
"He's awake! Quickly, inform the others!"
Footsteps hurried away with excited murmurs. Lin He forced his eyes open to see robes, long sleeves, and hair tied with jade pins. Above him, an old ceiling carved with cloud patterns can be seen.
"What…" His throat burned as he spoke. "Where am I…?"
The room erupted again.
"He spoke!"
"The young master spoke!"
Young master?
His vision sharpened, and then he almost scrambled backward in his bed because of the somehow familiar faces, not from his own world but from the drama and cultivation series he had mocked just moments ago.
"No…" he whispered.
He looked around quickly.
Wooden furniture.
The faint scent of incense.
Silk curtains swaying gently in the air.
These…
All these somehow caused a chill that immediately crept up his spine.
"You," Lin He said suddenly, forcing himself upright despite the pain. "Bring me a mirror."
The room fell silent.
The servants exchanged uneasy glances before responding quickly.
"Yes, young master."
Minutes passed slowly. Finally, a servant returned, holding a polished bronze mirror with trembling hands.
Lin He grabbed it immediately.
The cold metal pressed against his fingers as he raised it.
The face reflected back at him was not his own. It had sharp brows, pale skin, and cold, arrogant eyes. It was a flawless yet infuriatingly familiar face—Young Master Lin He.
"What the—!"
He scrambled back and almost fell off the bed.
"This face…"
He grabbed his cheeks. "It's…" He turned his head left and right and paused again to look at himself, "this…" then touched his nose, hoping it might change. "Exactly the same."
The servants could only stare at him, confused and a little afraid.
Meanwhile, Lin He let out a hollow laugh.
"Oh hell no.
"I was criticizing this idiot earlier, and now I've become him?"
He stared at the mirror again.
"Don't tell me the heavens want me to show them what a real young master shall be."
A furious voice interrupted his thoughts.
"Young master!" a subordinate shouted. "You lost consciousness twice because Chu Feng probably used underhanded tactics!"
"Yes!" another yelled. "He cheated!"
"We must kill that brat!"
The room was immediately filled with rage and murderous intent.
Lin He stared at them, stunned.
These idiots still want to go after Chu Feng?
I just got here. I don't want to court death!
He raised his hand.
"I won't go."
Silence fell instantly.
"Huh?"
"Young master?"
"I said," Lin He repeated calmly, "I won't go."
Inside, his thoughts raced rapidly.
Right now, my upper dantian is crippled but can still be fixed. If my middle and lower dantians are destroyed too, everything will be over.
"But—" someone tried to argue.
"Youre listening to me, right? I said… I won't go," Lin He said again.
Their faces turned pale.
"Why…?" one asked shakily.
"I changed my mind," Lin He replied calmly. "I'm tired today."
Inside, he sneered.
What can you do?
I'm the young master.
What could happen to me?
I'm not going to be like the other young masters who would go out their way against the main characters to die.
However, his subordinates looked worried, probably because they had something in their mind. "But if you don't go—"
A shout suddenly erupted and interrupted them from outside the room.
"Young Miss is here!"
The tense atmosphere shattered.
Curtains parted on their own as a girl entered with several maidservants around her.
She wore light robes trimmed in silver, and her unique poise made it clear she was now in charge of whatever was going here. Her presence even silenced the subordinates who had been arguing around Lin He just moments before.
Lin He frowned.
Young miss?
He looked at her carefully, searching his memories. But… nothing clicked.
The girl ignored all formalities. She glanced at him lazily, then she noticed something, "Hmm?" her brow furrowing for a moment. Then, as if convinced, she stared intently. After that, her expression turned sour.
"So it's true," she said coldly. "You're really crippled?"
Before Lin He could even process the insult, she lifted her chin.
"Then let's get a divorce."
The room exploded into gasps.
Lin He swallowed hard.
Divorce?
Who?
He opened his mouth, about to ask who she was… But then… a translucent screen suddenly appeared before his eyes.
[ Ding!
[ Harem Pampering System activated.
[ Dote on your wives and become invincible.
Lin He froze.
System…?
Wives…?
[ Mission: Convince your second wife, Shangguan Wanwan, not to divorce you.
[ Punishment for failure: Permanently lose one of your Monkey Peaches. ]
"…Monkey peaches?" he muttered blankly.
Before he could think further, a sharp, horrifying sensation struck between his legs.
Lin He stiffened. One of his testicles suddenly contracted, and then, unmistakably, he felt it vanish.
His face immediately lost all color.
"...What the hell."