Herro everyone nice to meet you. Hope you are all surviving decently and doing plenty of little things to boost your own morale. Let me introduce myself My chosen name is Tako, and I'm an almost 29 year old, autistic, no life, asshole. Who is currently living on disability because just like so many other people I have a whole slew of mental problems.
This story like the title says, it's going to be a crappy self insert story. Just a heads up.I'm not that good of a rider, but I spend a lot of time daydreaming and reading other stories. I also watch a fairly decent amount of anime. Yes, a lot of the anime and stories I read are issakai, reincarnation, and power fantasy. So yeah, that is what this story is going to be.
Specifically, this story is going to be a death wish isekai. What that means is basically, I'm going to write a bit about me. Dying and making a wish before I die that allows me to reincarnate into a world of my choice.
I am mostly writing this story just so that I can prove to myself I can put effort into things. Because, you see, I struggle, to do even basic tasks every single day. Yes, I have depression, and adhd, severe anxiety, a bit of osdd and partially diagnosed schizo effective.
Oh no! I'm a real crazy! Try to get away from me as fast as you can! You can't have a proper conversation with me! And you never know when i'm going to snap!
Or so I've heard from so many people throughout my life. Whether I heard it about myself or someone with the same disabilities. For those of you who don't already know this. It really hurts when people avoid you or hate you for something you can't control. Well disabilities can be controlled to an extent. A lot of mental ones can anyway, through meds.
Hey I ain't going to try to explain to the internet why it's wrong to discriminate against people for skin colors or accents or disabilities, or birthplace. And don't even get me started on trying to explain the complexities of sexual and gender orientation. Most people who don't understand don't want to try to understand.
One of the few things I like about myself is that i'm pretty decent at keeping mostly calm and trying to understand other people. Even if I struggle to understand them at times. And even when my own emotions are just making me difficult to deal with, because I can't control what's going on in my head.
It also helps that I have a lot of mental disabilities and that I have a unique sexual and gender orientation. I am polyamorous demi pan nonbinary and agender. Tbh I don't even know whats going on with myself half the time. What I do know is I don't like being referred to as a man or a woman, or even a them sometimes.
I am one of the few people you can get away with calling a thing or an it, and I actually prefer it. I ain't going to get mad at you half the time.I won't even bother correcting you. I can deal with feeling a bit uncomfortable and having involuntary shivers and internal anger and annoyance. But I promise that unless you are actively trying to provoke me by misgendering me, I won't really care.
So to sum it all up, I've got mental disabilities, Im confused about myself and life, and I'm not a good person. Now that, you know a bit about me how about we actually get started on the story. Start right here with me, starting to write the story. Instead of what I do at the start of the story. The moment this becomes mostly fiction and not entirely reality.
Tako stands on top of a stairwell at the top of a free public parking garage. Not too far of a journey from where they live in utah. They have been up here before. Partially because they are suicidal, and partially because the heights make it easier for Tako to think. And like so many times before, Tako is preparing a final message.
This time it is a video and in the video I am apologizing for not being of use throughout my life. For a lot of the major mistakes, I have made. For all the lives i believe i have ruined, not that I would know because I avoid interacting with others. But this final message is truly the last. And I choose to finish it off with a wish.
" So yeah, i'm sorry for choosing to leave you all like this, but i have no more energy to struggle through the at minimum of a life, I am living. But Hey, like, I say, I believe you can believe what you want to believe. And so i'm choosing to believe in reincarnation and that, if I believe hard enough, in my final moments, it will become a reality. So my reincarnation, wish is to get a chance at an isekai in a bit of a fantasy world, but I want the fantasy world to have dungeons and portals and connect to countless other worlds."
" A whole multiverse, it is mostly connected through random portals. Some of these worlds are standalone, and some of them are entire universes, but the one thing they have in common is portals. These portals are most of the time dungeons that allow for resources, fighting, powers and other stuff. "
"Many of the portals and worlds may have different rules than the worlds you are used to, technology that can't function elsewhere or maybe a world where technology doesn't work at all. Or one where magic is instinctual and chantless. Another where magic relies on runes and chants and study. Maybe elemental bending in another or a real star trek universe."
"And some of the world's are just fiction in other worlds. Basically, I want to be reincarnated into a fantasy world that is connected to infinite possibilities. And I want a starting power that is a bit overpowered, so that I dont feel useless in my next life either. Oh and I want to be a hermaphrodite dragonkin teifling human whose main colors are purple and blue, purple scales purple and blue hair That is fiery when im in dragonkin form, purple skin in teifling form. And i wish to retain my memoriesfrom earth"
" I know this sounds like a crazy final wish. But hey its my final wish, it doesn't have to make sense to you at all. One of the hardest things to understand about others is why they dream the way they dream. And with that I bid you all ado, and I hope you live a good rest of your lives here on earth, sorry I can't be with you for the rest of it"
Tako ends the video and takes a couple minutes to post it everywhere they can and send it to their family then they remove the lock on their phone and make sure the video plays when the phone is opened and set it on the fire extinguisher box on the side of the stairwell and stand back up and step onto the edge.
The last 5 times tako went off this edge they rolled, or landed flat on their back or landed in the landscaping, or injured thier shoulder in a way that caused it to separate when they biffed while snowboarding. Not this time, this time tako takes a deep breath and treats it like diving into a pool.
And tako starts the fall. Focused on they grey of the cement until it fills their vision. There is a flash of pain then darkness. Numbness. Emptiness.
Then there is laughter from somewhere and tako sees a sphere of white light.
"Hohohoho! What a daring final wish! You wish to live in a realm of infinite possibilities do you? Lucky for you, there are plenty of those, since all it really takes to create a new universe is belief. And to be strong enough to feel useful, guess we can't start you off as a child, but I sense a desire to grow, so how about 12 years old? You are about that mature mentally after all. And you have a very strong obsession with vore, I see you love the idea of gaining abilities through eating so that will be your power. It should function in most of the worlds you may encounter, although it may function slightly differently depending on the rules of said world. May you find what you are looking for in this new life. Farewell Tako."
Darkness again. Wait, this darkness feels different. oh its like when your eyes are closed. I slowly open my eyes and find myself looking up at some trees that look something like oak trees only so tall they I feel like an insect. Wait im not actually that small am I? I sit up and look around finding grass and a lot of other bushes plants and flowers that look normal sized.
Ok good, im just in a forest with oak trees bigger than redwoods. I reach out and touch the bark of the tree I am right next to, and I notice purple scaled, hand with claws for fingernails, and I smile. I look down at the rest of my body finding a leather armor adventure outfit that you would typically see in a lot of fantasy stories, a desic brown white shirt, brown leather light armor, black pants, no boots, but I have a small bag at my waist.
I pulled the bag off my belt and try to reach into it. But for some reason, it seems like I can't stick my hand into the opening, I can clearly see. And then I get a weird feeling, and I see a glowing blue screen. Ah classic. Truly what I imagined. The screen reads.
'Must access status before you can access minor weightless spatial storage bag'
Okay then. I say outloud "Status" another blue screen that isn't really there appears in front of me
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Status:
Name: Tako
Species: Dragonkin/teifling/human hybrid
Age: 12
Level: 1
Skills: Species Form Shift lvl NA
Passive Skills: Anxiety lvl. 1
Blessings: (all) Vore, Vore ability absorption
Strength: 20
Speed: 10
Agility: 10
Dexterity: 10
Intelligence: 20
Wisdom: 20
Defense: 20
Luck: 10
Spirit: 10
Force: 20
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"Thats a lot of stat categories I'll have to figure out what they represent later. Good to know i can switch between my dragonkin, teifling and human forms And Anxiety as a skill? Whoever it was that sent me here has a sick sense of humor. I had enough anxiety on earth to require a pharmacy to step outside. I don't want more. Whatever can't do anything about that, now lets find out whats in the bag. I reach into it again this time my hand enters it and another screen pops up with item names and images*
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Minor Weightless Spatial Storage Bag Inventory:
Cast iron pan. Small tent. Non descript jerky x20. Non descript Potatoes×10. Large knife ×1 . Bedroll. Leather armor clothes set ×1
Capacity: 1% full
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"So basically a starter kit. Now what should I do first?" I look around.