The noise outside the alley grew closer, and Claire's tearful roar threatened to collapse the surrounding houses:"Satou Kazuma! Even if you flee to hell, I'll chop off those lewd hands of yours and feed them to the dogs! Give that back to me right now!!!"Haru looked at Kazuma's terrified expression—a face that screamed 'why is this thing in my hands?'—and his lips curled into a calm smile, signaling his return to the peak of his intellect.He leisurely straightened his crumpled collar and even patted Kazuma on the shoulder."Oh my, Kazuma, it seems this is what they call returning something to its rightful owner, isn't it?"Haru's voice was filled with schadenfreude,"After all, [Steal] is your skill, so it's only natural that the owner of the skill takes responsibility for this trophy. Tsk tsk, look, Lady Claire seems to have tracked the scent right to the mouth of the alley.""Hey! Haru! You're too despicable!"Kazuma jumped up as if his butt were on fire, frantically shaking the panties in his hand as if they were some venomous creature,"You were the one sniffing them just now! You were the one with that perverted expression! Now that we've switched back, you're just going to wash your hands of it?! Help me think of something! If I get caught with these, I'll suffer a total social death!"Instead of helping, Haru took a large step back, crossed his arms, and smiled like a demon with victory in his grasp:"What are you talking about? I am the hero Haruwho saved the royal capital. I'm only here to hunt down the evil Thief Satou Kazuma, who snuck into the palace late at night to Steal a female knight's panties."Haru paused, a flash of scum inspiration glinting in his eyes,"It seems someone is destined for bad luck tonight. Oh, right, just to make the performance more convincing..."Haru suddenly took a deep breath and shouted toward the mouth of the alley:"Lady Claire! Over here! The pervert who stole your precious item is here! He's planning to do even more unspeakable things to those panties, please deal with him immediately!""Haru!! You absolute scum!!!" Kazuma let out a shrill scream of betrayal.At that instant, the shadows at the mouth of the alley were torn apart by a violent, dark red battle aura.Claire's pretty face, now a mask of world-ending fury, looked exceptionally terrifying under the moonlight.She immediately spotted Satou Kazuma, who was frantically trying to stuff the panties into his shirt."Sa... tou... Ka... zu... ma... I've... got... you."Claire's voice was as low as if it came from the depths of hell, and the longsword in her hand emitted a low whine.Claire's blade, radiating a blood-colored aura, slowly rose; the surrounding air seemed to thicken from her murderous intent.Satou Kazuma's face, twisted in fear, looked incredibly comical in the moonlight. He was desperately trying to shove the lace fabric into his pants to destroy the evidence, but his trembling fingers only made him more clumsy.Haru had already turned around, preparing to vanish into the night with elegant steps, leaving his deeds anonymous.But when the image of a bruised and battered Kazuma in an interrogation room, pointing at him and shouting, "The one who was sniffing the panties was actually Haru!" flashed through his mind, his footsteps abruptly froze.Wait a minute.If a guy as unscrupulous as Kazuma got caught, he would definitely spill all the details of the soul swap to reduce his sentence—including all the scumactions Haru did while wearing his face.If that happened, it wouldn't just be social death; he'd likely be stared at by Her Highness Alice as if he were a cockroach and then hunted to the ends of the earth by Claire."Tsk, what a troublesome dead weight."Haru cursed under his breath, but his expression did a complete 180-degree turn in an instant.He spun around, his face overflowing with a saint-like compassion and resolve, as he dashed toward Kazuma, who was already resigned to his fate."Stop! Lady Claire! Don't hurt my best friend!"Haru let out a righteous roar, shielding Kazuma like a guardian deity.His broad back looked exceptionally imposing under the moonlight, leaving Kazuma—who had been ready to write his will—completely stunned."Lin... Haru? Did you actually find your conscience?"Kazuma sniffled, his eyes welling up with tears of emotion."What are you saying, Kazuma! We're comrades-in-arms from Axel who fought side-by-side, best friends who face life and death together!"Haru shouted without looking back, his voice so impassioned he almost believed it himself."I was just testing your courage earlier! How could I ever really abandon you! Lady Claire, there must be some misunderstanding! Kazuma actually... he actually found this item and was just about to return it to you!""Mis... un... der... stand... ing?"Claire squeezed the words out through gritted teeth. She looked at Haru, then at Kazuma, who was shielded behind him still clutching the white lace; the veins on her forehead were throbbing like they were dancing at a disco."Haru, if you're going to protect this shameless Thief... then don't blame me for being ruthless! Get out of my way!""I won't! Not unless you step over my dead body!"Haru roared with righteous indignation, his expression as if he were guarding the last hope of humanity.Claire's patience had clearly evaporated along with her missing garment. She let out a sharp cry, her rapier cutting through the air as a fierce sword qi lunged straight for Haru's face:"In that case, I'll teach you a lesson too! [Swift Strike]!"In this critical moment, Haru didn't panic; instead, a glint of 'all according to plan' cunning appeared in his eyes.He thrust out his right hand, palm down, as surging magic power compressed in an instant."Now! Wind Blade—Full Power Diffusion!"Instead of releasing a cutting Wind Blade as usual, Haru forcibly detonated the magic of the Wind Blade the moment it was released.The sharp wind elements instantly spun out of control in the narrow alley, turning into a violent gust that kicked up mountains of dried salted fish, rotten vegetable leaves, and thick dust from the ground.Boom—!With a dull thud, the entire alley was instantly enveloped in a grey, foul-smelling smoke screen."Cough, cough! It stinks! What kind of move is this... Haru, how dare you use such despicable tactics!"Claire was brought to tears by the sudden stench of salted fish; her paladin elegance vanished as she swung her sword wildly in the smoke."Enough talk! Let's go!"In the smoke, Haru precisely located Kazuma, who was in a [Lurk] state but turning red from holding his breath against the stench.He didn't bother being polite, grabbing Kazuma by the collar of fate as his leg muscles tensed for an instant burst of speed."Waaaaah! My neck! My neck is going to break! Haru, take it easy!"The transparent Kazuma was carried like a ragged sack in Haru's hand. The two turned into a blur, leaping over the crumbling earthen wall at the end of the alley under the cover of the stinking smoke.Haru, carrying Kazuma, bounded across the complex rooftops of the royal capital.As he ran, he felt Claire's screams—distant but still full of murderous intent—and secretly felt relieved.
Chapter 231: Who Is the Most Versatile Scapegoat?Inside Aldap's luxurious, almost vulgar guest room, two disheveled figures were slumped on the expensive carpet, gasping for breath.Haru brushed off the dust that smelled of salted fish with a look of disgust, while keeping a sharp eye on Satou Kazuma, who was sneakily trying to hide a piece of lace fabric inside a vase."Whew... whew... I'm alive. I really thought I was going to meet my end in that stinking alleyway."Kazuma lay sprawled out on the floor without a shred of dignity, his face wearing the look of exhaustion that comes after a narrow escape."Hey, Haru, that Wind Blade smoke bomb of yours was effective, but it smelled terrible! I feel like a walking can of salted fish right now. That woman Claire will definitely follow the scent and hunt us down!""Shut up. If it weren't for saving an idiot like you who was running around with evidence, would I have sacrificed my own reputation?"Haru rubbed his aching temples, his brain starting to work at high speed."The priority right now is to come up with a plausible excuse. Claire already saw us together, and she definitely saw that... cough, 'justice'. If we don't explain it clearly, we'll be sent to the gallows by tomorrow morning.""How about... we just push it onto that fat pig Aldap?"Kazuma sat up abruptly, a sinister glint flashing in his eyes."We'll say that guy is actually a closet pervert, that he hired us to Steal panties, and even used magic to force us to cooperate! Anyway, he looks like a villain, Claire will definitely believe it!"Haru fell silent for three seconds, looking at Kazumaas if he were an idiot."Do you think Claire is a fool? If Aldap could afford to hire us to Steal panties, would he still need to be here sucking up to Princess Alice? Besides, that fat pig can barely walk; how do you explain him appearing in the palace's back garden in an instant? There are too many loopholes; an excuse like that will only get us killed faster.""Then what should we do? Am I supposed to admit that I'm the perverted Thief?" Kazuma looked desperate."No, we have a better excuse."The corners of Haru's mouth curled up slightly, revealing a typically scum smile."In this world full of magic, who is the most versatile scapegoat? It's demons, Kazuma."Kazuma froze for a moment, then his eyes lit up: "Demons? You mean...""Exactly."Haru lowered his voice, his tone becoming solemn."We'll say that while we were taking a walk near the mansion last night, we were suddenly ambushed by a high-ranking demon from the Demon Kings Army. The demon had the ability of 'possession' or 'mind control'. It controlled our bodies and made us sneak into the palace to do such insane things, all to destroy our relationship with the royal family! As for those panties... they were a trophy the demon forced us to take to humiliate Lady Claire!""Genius! You're a genius among scumbags, Haru!"Kazuma slammed the table and stood up excitedly."Yes, yes, yes! I'll say my body wouldn't listen to me at all back then. Even though I was thinking how rude it was, my hand involuntarily activated Steal! Even that deep breath I took just now was the demon controlling my lungs! This reason is absolutely perfect!""To increase the credibility, we need to put some battle marks on ourselves." Haru stood up, looking at Kazuma with ill intent."Come on, Kazuma, for the sake of our innocence, let me give you a punch in the face to pretend it's a wound from a demon's beating.""Wait! Why am I the one getting hit? Weren't you possessed too? You should be hit as well!"The next morning, accompanied by a loud bang as if the front door of Aldap's house was being kicked down, Claire burst into the drawing room with a squad of fully armed Royal Guards, looking murderous.Her bloodshot eyes glared fixedly at Haru and Satou Kazuma, who were sitting on the sofa with several bandages on their faces."Satou Kazuma! Haru! You two shameless scoundrels, you actually dare to sit here so casually eating breakfast?!"Claire's longsword suddenly pointed at the tip of Kazuma's nose, her voice trembling so much she almost sounded like she was crying."Hand over my... hand that thing over! Then get yourselves to the dungeon and repent to the Goddess!""Oh, Lady Claire, please calm down, your expression is too terrifying."Haru put down the piece of toast covered in jam, showing an extremely weak and traumatized expression. He pointed to his swollen half-face (which was from Kazuma's retaliatory punch during the chaos last night)."Actually, we were just about to go and apologize to you. Everything that happened last night was not our intention at all!""Yes, yes, yes! Lady Claire, you must believe us!"Kazuma followed up with a heart-wrenching wail. With his face black and blue, he indeed looked more pitiful than Haru."Last night, while we were walking in the garden, a demon with hideous goat horns and a black aura suddenly appeared! It used evil magic to control our will, and we were manipulated like puppets to sneak into the palace... Wuwuwu, I clearly wanted to call for help, but I could only let out a 'hehehe' laugh. Do you understand that kind of despair?!"Claire was stunned. Her rigid mind struggled to switch between the concepts of a perverted Thiefand demonic possession."A-A demon? Do you really think I'll believe such a clumsy excuse?!"Just then, Aldap, who had been sitting in the head seat with a gloomy face because his sleep was disturbed, suddenly had his layers of fat tremble violently upon hearing the word 'demon'.A flash of extreme unease and terror flickered deep in his squinted eyes, and he didn't even notice the silver fork in his hand falling to the floor."Cough, cough cough!"Aldap suddenly began to cough violently. His fat face turned the color of pig liver, and he actually stood up for once, speaking in an extremely stiff and hurried tone."Lady Claire, I think... what Sir Haru and the others said isn't impossible. After all, the magic fluctuations near the Royal Capital have been quite strange lately. What if a demon from the Demon Kings Army really did sneak in..."Haru keenly caught Aldap's extremely unnatural reaction and instantly sensed something was wrong.What is this fat pig feeling guilty about? Could there really be a demon hidden in his house?"Lord Aldap?"Claire looked at this lord, who usually loved kicking people while they were down, with a face full of disbelief."Even you are speaking up for them? This concerns the reputation of the royal family...""It's precisely because it concerns reputation that we can't close the case so hastily!"Aldap wiped the cold sweat from his forehead, his tone becoming more and more hurried."Think about it, if this really is a demon's plot and we execute the heroes who saved the country, wouldn't we be playing right into the demon's hands? This matter... I think we should investigate first. Since the evidence (the panties) has already disappeared (burned by Haru last night), let's just place these two gentlemen under house arrest in the mansion to cooperate with the investigation!"Kazuma watched from the side, dumbfounded, and couldn't help but lean in and whisper in Haru's ear:"Hey, Haru, did this fat pig take the wrong medicine today? He actually saved us? Could he actually be one of us?"
Chapter 232: Rest WellClaire bit her lower lip hard, her knuckles turning white from gripping her sword too tightly.Ultimately, under the forceful intervention of the Lord Aldap, she could only reluctantly sheathe her sword."This isn't over!"Claire glared fiercely at Haru and Kazuma, her gaze lingering for a long time on Kazuma's punchable face."I will investigate the demon's tracks myself! If I find out you're lying, I'll cut off your... and feed them to Slimes! Let's go!"With a synchronized clatter of metal, Claire led the Royal Guards out of the drawing room like a red storm, leaving behind a complete mess.Watching Claire's retreating back, Aldap's tense fat finally relaxed. He let out a long sigh and pulled out a perfume-soaked handkerchief to frantically wipe the cold sweat from his forehead."Cough... Since Lady Claire has left, you two should rest well in your room. Please do not wander around as you please."Aldap's eyes flickered with uncertainty, his tone carrying an irrepressible urgency."I... I just remembered that the potted plants in the backyard need my personal pruning, and there are some territorial matters to handle. I won't stay any longer. Excuse me!"After saying that, this fat pig, who usually huffed and puffed after just two steps, actually turned around with incredible agility and rolled out of the hall like a ball of meat, heading straight for the depths of the mansion.After returning to the luxurious guest room, Kazumaimmediately showed his true colors.He lunged onto the soft, large bed, letting out a burst of extremely arrogant, wild laughter."Hahahaha! Did you see that, Haru! We won! Not only did we get away perfectly, but we also scored a high-ranking knight's lace underwear for free! Did you see Claire's expression, wanting to cut me but unable to? It's the best side dish for a drink!"Haru ignored Kazuma, who was wriggling on the bed. He walked to the window, recalling Aldap's extremely guilty look just now, and a cold smile curled on his lips."Idiot, we're only safe for now. Didn't you notice Aldap's reaction was very off? That fat pig is definitely hiding something shady in the basement, and it's very likely related to demons."Just as Haru was considering whether to sneak into the basement tonight to investigate, a light landing sound suddenly came from the half-open window."Yo! You two big heroes, the commotion in the Royal Capital last night has been spreading like wildfire."Accompanied by a crisp and pleasant girl's voice, a Thief girl with short silver hair, wearing a tube top and hot pants, lightly jumped into the room.She had a faint, cute scar on the lower-left side of her face and was looking at the two with a half-smiling expression."Chris? Why are you here?"Kazuma sprang up from the bed like a cat whose tail had been stepped on, subconsciously covering his crotch (even though his underwear had been burned by Haru)."Wait, you're not here to catch me, are you? I'm telling you, the demon did it! It has nothing to do with me, Satou Kazuma!""Don't worry, I'm not interested in men's underwear, nor am I interested in other people's loot."Chris winked playfully, then her gaze fell on Haru, her expression becoming slightly more serious."I'm here to recover that dangerous Divine Item. Leaving a tool that can swap souls in the hands of you two problem children feels like it would cause a world-ending level perverted incident. Last night's commotion was caused by it, right?"Haru looked at the girl before him, whose true identity was the Goddess of Luck, eris. Without any hesitation, he pulled out the necklace shimmering with strange colors from his robe and tossed it over like trash."Take it, take it. This thing is just a cursed trouble-maker. I don't want to experience that feeling of despair from having my intelligence drop to single digits again."Haru brushed his hands in disgust."Hey! Wait! I haven't used it to go to the women's bath... Ow!"Just as Kazuma was about to rush forward to save the Divine Item, he was ruthlessly kicked into the corner by Haru.Chris caught the necklace steadily, checked it carefully, and after confirming it was undamaged, revealed a relieved and cute smile."Thanks for cooperating, Haru! Lady Eris will surely bless you!"Chris carefully tucked the necklace into her bosom, then put her hands behind her back, leaned forward slightly, and approached Haru to tease him."As for Kazuma... you'd better pray to the gods that you don't get hacked to death by Claire. Well then, I'm taking off. Have fun in the Royal Capital!"After saying that, Chris turned and leaped out of the window like an agile cat, disappearing into the bustling streets of the Royal Capital.After Chris's lithe figure disappeared outside the window, the tense air in the room finally completely relaxed.Haru looked at the window that was still slightly swaying, then at Satou Kazuma, who was looking dejected and trying to find any leftover magical residue from the Divine Item in the carpet's crevices. He only felt bursts of dull pain deep in his brain from the intelligence overload."Alright, stop scratching at the floor, Kazuma."Haru walked over to the oversized velvet bed, large enough for four people, and threw himself onto it. The touch was so soft it felt like sinking into a Slime's belly, making him let out a comfortable sigh."After all the tossing and turning since last night, my SAN value is nearly zero. Now, even if the Demon Kings Army attacks the front door, it'll have to wait until I've had enough sleep.""Tsk, you're certainly carefree. What if that woman Claire thinks about it and realizes something's wrong, then brings her troops back for a surprise attack?"Although Kazuma said this, his body honestly climbed onto the other side of the bed, hogging a giant silk pillow."And that fat pig Aldap, he ran faster than a rabbit just now. He's definitely up to something shady. If we sleep now, won't we really be sacrificed to a demon by that guy in our dreams?""So, to prevent a guy with EX luck like you from being kidnapped in your sleep, I've decided to take some necessary security measures."Haru closed his eyes, his fingers moving slightly to draw a simple magic circuit in the air."[Wind Blade]... No, it's [Breeze Sensor]. I've set up airflow alarms at the door and window. As long as someone approaches, I'll wake up instantly. Now, shut up and sleep.""Hey, Haru, don't you think the air in the Royal Capital smells like money?"Kazuma rested his head on his hands, his eyes glazed as he stared at the magnificent chandelier on the ceiling."If I could live here forever, eating high-end cuisine every day, teasing a thick-headed female knight like Claire, and occasionally being received by Princess Alice... this kind of life is exactly the otherworldly life of my dreams.""If you want to be chopped up and fed to dogs by Claire, then by all means, stay here and fulfill your dream."Haru's voice grew fainter, clearly entering a half-asleep state."Don't forget, our current status is victims of demonic possession. Until the demon is eliminated, we're under house arrest... zzz... zzz...""Tsk, what a killjoy."Kazuma curled his lip. Hearing Haru's even breathing, his nerves, which had been tense all night, finally snapped. He rolled over and muttered."Whatever, dreams have everything. I hope in tonight's dream, that girl Chris gives the necklace back to me, hehehe..."Before long, rhythmic snoring filled the room.On this bright morning, the two heroes who saved the Royal Capital were huddled ungracefully in a luxurious bed, enjoying the brief peace they had exchanged for shamelessness and scum acting.However, they didn't know that in the dark and damp basement of the mansion, a certain Lord was kneeling before a purple magic circle emitting a nauseating aura, his fat body trembling as he pleaded for something.Meanwhile, Claire was leading a squad of knights through the streets and alleys of the Royal Capital, frantically searching for the so-called Horned Demon, not even sparing the Stray Sheep by the roadside. The air in the entire Royal Capital was filled with an absurd and tense atmosphere.
Chapter 233: Demon DukeLate at night, Aldap's mansion was shrouded in dead silence, with only the occasional flickering candlelight in the hallway casting grotesque shadows.Haru was in a light, half-asleep state when [Wind Detection] suddenly captured an extremely unusual fluctuation—it wasn't the killing intent of an enemy, but a strange magical power mixed with high-end perfume, the smell of cheap alcohol, and something that reminded one of the divine yet idiotic."Haru! Haru! Wake up! Something terrible has happened!"Accompanied by a flurry of urgent knocking, a small blue head squeezed in through the gap in the door.Aqua's pretty face, streaked with tears and filled with terror, looked particularly comical in the moonlight. She only had one shoe on, stumbling as she threw herself to the side of Haru's bed."Waaaaah! Haru, it's so scary here! When I was strolling in the back garden looking for something to drink, I smelled that super disgusting, super vile, demon stench that's just like stuffing rotten natto into a foot-wiping rag!"Aqua clutched Haru's pajama collar tightly, shaking him desperately."And that smell is right under this house! There must be a super despicable demon living down there. It must be coveting my beauty, wanting to capture me as a sacrifice! Get up and purify it quickly!"Haru was shaken until he was dizzy, his lingering sleepiness instantly dispelled by Aqua's screaming.He pressed down on Aqua's head, forcing her to calm down, while glancing at Kazuma, who was still sleeping like a dead pig next to them, even muttering "Long live lace.""Calm down, Aqua. Are you sure it's the smell of a demon, and not the smell of the alcohol you spilled on yourself fermenting?"Haru lowered his voice, but his eyes became sharp."You are too rude! How could I possibly have that kind of smell!"Aqua stomped her feet in anger."It's true! That evil aura is very thick! That fat pig lord definitely has a problem; the smell on him is exactly the same as the smell coming from underground!"Haru pondered for a moment.If he had only been suspicious before, then as the Goddess of Water, who was extremely sensitive to demons, Aqua's intuition was almost ironclad proof.That fat pig Aldap was actually keeping a demon in the heart of the royal capital?"It seems that the demon possession we made up on the spot actually hit the mark."Haru rolled out of bed, quickly changed into Adventurer attire convenient for movement, and casually grabbed the staff placed at the head of the bed."Aqua, lead the way. Since this demon has voluntarily delivered itself to be our witness, we will go and drag it out. This is the best opportunity to clear our suspicion of being perverts.""Eh? Are we really going? That kind of eerie place..."Aqua shrank her neck, but after seeing Haru's calm and unhurried demeanor, she mustered her courage and patted her chest."Fine! Since you're begging me so much, this Goddess will reluctantly accompany you to see it! If that demon dares to show its head, I'll use God Blow to knock it into a shooting star in the sky!"The two quietly pushed open the bedroom door, avoiding the patrolling guards in the hallway.Haru used [Wind Detection] to mask their footsteps, and under the guidance of Aqua's flickering Goddess radar, the two gradually ventured deep into the west corridor of the mansion, which had been completely swallowed by darkness.The smell of sulfur in the air grew heavier, and Aqua's expression changed from initial terror to physiological disgust.Just in front of the heavy iron door leading to the basement, Haru stopped. He could feel an extremely twisted and powerful negative energy brewing behind the door.Accompanied by a dull sound of stone rubbing against stone, the seemingly indestructible iron door slid sideways like a smooth drawer, revealing the staircase leading into the dark depths behind it.While Aqua was fumbling along the wall out of fear, she accidentally pressed a hidden lever, and the iron door slid open silently, revealing an altar covered in evil runes below.The two moved down the eerie staircase. Dark red liquid seeped from the stone walls on both sides of the stairs. In the air, besides the strong smell of sulfur, there was also a nauseating, sour stench like salted fish that had been fermenting for half a year.When they finally reached the bottom of the stairs and hid behind a huge stone pillar, the sight before them made Haru's eye twitch uncontrollably.In the center of the hollow, spacious basement, a huge purple magic circle was emitting a faint, cold light.Aldap, who usually threw his weight around in the territory but was now wearing only an extremely ill-fitting silk bathrobe, was slumped on his knees in front of the altar like a huge, melting blob of jelly.His layers of fat trembled with his heavy breathing, and his fleshy face was covered in a mix of pathological fanaticism and terror.In the center of the magic circle, a phantom wrapped in pitch-black mist, with faintly visible ferocious goat horns and deep red eyes, was slowly emerging.That sense of oppression made the surrounding air become viscous. This was definitely at the level of a Demon Kings Army General, no, perhaps even a higher-ranking Demon Duke!"Great... Great Duke!"Aldap's voice was sharp and hoarse. He kowtowed frantically, his forehead striking the stone slab with dull thuds."That artifact has failed! Those two damned Adventurer... They must have discovered something! Please grant me greater power. As long as Princess Alice can fall in love with me, no matter the cost... Even if I have to sacrifice half the population of this royal capital to you, I will not hesitate!""Ku-hehehehe..."The demon phantom let out a low laugh, a sound that seemed to rub directly against one's retinas."Greedy human, your soul has rotted to the point that even I find it delightful. But my descent still requires time. Before that, you must first deal with those annoying little mice... For example, those two guys hiding behind the stone pillar, emitting the scent of cheap idiocy and scum."Haru's heart skipped a beat. Before he could complain that this demon's sense of smell was even sharper than a dog's, Aqua beside him had completely broken down."Waaaaaah! We've been discovered! Haru, it called me an idiot! A mere demon from the lower realm actually dares to insult this Goddess!"Aqua had been shivering, but upon hearing the word "idiot," her inexplicable self-esteem instantly overcame her fear.She jumped out from behind the stone pillar and pointed at the giant demon phantom, shouting,"You goat-horned perverted stalker! How dare you plot to kidnap a beautiful girl in broad daylight... No, in a basement in the middle of the night, and even sacrifice innocent people! Have you asked the great Goddess of Water, Lady Aqua?!"Haru covered his face in pain.This idiot, it's one thing to fail the stealth, but why did she have to reveal her identity voluntarily?Aldap turned his head sharply, his eyes distorted by greed and fear, staring fixedly at Haru and Aqua:"It's you?! You two damned perverts, controlled by demons! How dare you trespass into my forbidden grounds!""Hey, you dead fat pig, did you get something wrong?"Seeing that they couldn't hide anymore, Haru simply walked out swaggeringly, tapped his palm with his staff, and revealed a standard scum smile."Who exactly is making a deal with a demon now? We came here to track the demon that was controlling us. Now the evidence is solid; as long as I report this to Lady Claire, how many death sentences do you think your fat body is worth?""Death sentence? That's only if you can get out alive!" Aldap screamed, spreading his arms toward the magic circle,"Duke! Please kill them! They are the appetizer I prepared for you!"The red light of the demon phantom surged, and an extremely strong gravitational force instantly swept across the room, causing the surrounding stone pillars to crack.
Chapter 234: I Almost Thought He Was One of UsFacing the Abyss Gravity pressing down like a tide, Aqua, who had been shivering behind Haru, saw her water-blue eyes instantly ignite with an extremely dangerous holy flame upon hearing the words "dessert.""A mere Demon Duke from a lower plane dares to treat this goddess as dessert? Your guts are even thicker than your goat horns!"Aqua let out a shout full of majesty (and extreme spitefulness). Her translucent raiment erupted with a blinding light in the dark basement, forcefully pushing back the viscous gravity field.With one hand on her hip, her right hand suddenly pointed at the mass of black mist."Listen up! I am the goddess worshipped by the Axis Order, the Goddess of Water, Aqua! An evil existence like you, reeking of expired natto, should obediently be purified into pure water for a toilet! Sacred High Exorcism!!"A pillar of pure white light several meters in diameter burst from Aqua's fingertip, carrying a terrifying holy aura sufficient to instantly vaporize the Undead, and slammed heavily into the phantom of the Demon Duke."Waaah! What's with this magic power?! This unreasonable Purification power... Could it really be that Intellectual Disabled Goddess?!"The demon phantom let out a shrill scream. Its once-solid black mist rapidly thinned under the baptism of the light pillar, melting away like snow doused in strong acid.Due to Aqua's full-power outburst, the entire basement began to shake violently, with dust and rubble falling from the ceiling like rain.This scale of magical fluctuation and vibration was like detonating a heavy bomb in the heart of the sleeping Royal Capital."What's happening?! Is it an earthquake?!"Along with the loud bang of a door being kicked open, the floor of the guest room upstairs couldn't withstand the impact and collapsed into a large hole.Satou Kazuma, still wearing those pajamas printed with underwear patterns, fell from the ceiling covered in dust and landed heavily amidst a pile of rubble.Immediately after, two figures also rushed into the basement entrance."Over there! I feel an extremely evil aura, and... Aqua's headache-inducing magic fluctuations!"Megumin clutched her staff tightly. Although not fully awake, her eyes already sparkled with the red light of excitement for a big scene."Haru! Are you two secretly conducting Explosion Magic experiments behind my back?!""That evil sense of oppression... that suffocating gravity... hah, hah..."Darkness followed close behind. Though fully armed, her cheeks were flushed with a suspicious red hue. She gripped her greatsword tightly, shielding everyone, her tone carrying a morbid anticipation."Is it a demon? Is it the kind that captures female knights and performs all sorts of indescribable humiliation rituals? Please, come at me first!""What took you guys so long!"Haru shouted at Kazuma, who had just scrambled up from the floor, while waving his staff to release [Wind Screen] to block the falling rocks."Kazuma! Look at that fat pig Lord! He wants to use a demon to kidnap Her Highness Alice! The evidence is right there on that altar!"Kazuma rubbed his butt, glanced at Aldap shrinking into a corner of the altar trying to hide his flab in the shadows, then at Aqua frantically outputting Purification spells, and instantly understood the situation."You damn fat pig! And here I thought you were a kindred spirit, but you actually wanted to keep it all for yourself?!"Kazuma showed an extremely scum-like expression, his right hand already curled into a claw."Megumin, prepare your ultimate move! Darkness, go block that demon's ray! Haru, let's flank him from both sides and grab that fat pig's pants... wait, no, grab the evidence!"Amidst the noisy magical explosions, Haru's keen senses caught the rapid and heavy clanking of armor, a rhythm clearly belonging to the strictly trained Royal Guard Knights Order.A hint of cunning flashed in his eyes; this was the perfect opportunity to nail Aldap to the pillar of shame forever."Aqua! Don't just focus on the output, turn your holy radiance to the max! Shine like a true goddess!"Haru shouted at the sweating Aqua, who was frantically waving her staff, while using his own staff to deflect flying debris."Claire and the others will be here any second! If you want the whole Royal Capital to see your heroic figure saving the world, then right now, make this dark basement as bright as the midday sun!""Eh? Really?! Claire is coming? Are those little wenches who worship eris going to see this goddess's majesty?!"Aqua was already a bit out of breath, but hearing that an audience was about to arrive, her vanity instantly transformed into endless magic power."Watch closely! This is the true face of Lady Aqua, the Goddess of Water! Sacred Create Water... no, Sacred High Holy Light!!"Buzz—!A blinding white light, nearly transparent, instantly engulfed the entire basement, illuminating every nook and cranny.Faced with such pure holy power, the phantom of the Demon Duke was like a plastic bag thrown into an incinerator, letting out one last shrill scream before completely disintegrating.Just then, the rickety basement door was violently kicked open."Demon! Die... Eh?!"Claire rushed in first, her long sword held level and gleaming under the holy light, but the scene of a rampaging demon she expected was nowhere to be found.What met her eyes was Aqua, radiating a holy and inviolable aura (though her expression was quite annoying), and...Aldap, kneeling before the shattered altar, looking tearful from the direct holy light, his fat shaking all over, and still clutching a ring engraved with profane runes."A-Aldap?!"Claire's pupils shrank. Looking at the evil runes all over the floor and the lingering smell of sulfur, no matter how thick-headed she was, she understood what was happening."You actually built an evil altar in your mansion's basement... and conspired with a demon?! You traitor to the kingdom!""No, it's not like that! Lady Claire, let me explain! It's them! These despicable Adventurers controlled a demon to frame me!"Aldap screamed in terror, trying to hide the ring in the folds of his waist fat."Hey now, Lord, are you still trying to play the victim after being caught red-handed?"Haru walked slowly up to Aldap and, under the gaze of Claire and the knights, flashed a winner's smile."Lady Claire, you've arrived at the perfect time. We were resting in our rooms when we were awakened by this evil magic. Thanks to our Archpriest Aquarisking her life to save us, we stopped this conspiracy before the demon could fully descend and kidnap Her Highness Alice. As for the evidence... Kazuma, do it!""Heh heh, I've been waiting for this! Steal!!"Kazuma's hand, glowing with an evil light, made a sudden swipe.Snap.A ring emitting a faint purple glow, and... a silk handkerchief embroidered with Her Highness Alice's portrait, appeared precisely in Kazuma's hand.The entire scene instantly fell into a deathly silence.Claire's face went from anger to shock, then from shock to extreme disgust and murderous intent. Her sword point was aimed directly at Aldap's throat:"Aldap... you irredeemable, filthy, perverted traitor! Take him away! Take them all away!!
Chapter 235: The Hero Loots a Private ResidenceHaru watched the knights busily shackling Aldapand kicking him around. Then, looking at the lord's private treasury filled with luxurious artworks, precious jewels, and magical items, a highly tactical idea quickly took shape in his mind.He quietly leaned in toward Aqua, who was looking a bit exhausted from mana depletion and was about to find a place to sit and rest. In a low, seductive voice, he said:"Hey, Aqua, don't be in such a hurry to rest. Look at these glittering antiques, those gorgeous statues, and those staves radiating magical light... haven't you noticed? They've all been contaminated by that Demon Duke's evil energy!""Eh? Really?"Aqua rubbed her eyes, looking blankly at the priceless treasures."I just thought they were radiating the pure light of money...""No, look closely. They are entwined with a curse invisible to the naked eye!"Haru pointed solemnly at a lion statue made of pure gold."As the Goddess of Justice, surely you can't bear to see these contaminated riches flood the market and poison the innocent populace, right? So, while Claireand the others are busy, quickly and 'accidentally' use a wide-range Purification on them. Remember, make the movements big—it's best if there's a bit of a holy explosion. Then, I'll be responsible for taking these purified remains... cough, I mean, these treasures stripped of evil energy, into my bag for a second Purification."Aqua's eyes instantly lit up like two thousand-watt bulbs. She immediately understood Haru's meaning—wasn't this looting by decree... no, Purification by divine oracle?!"Ohhh! I see! As expected of Haru, you've thought of everything!"Aqua stood up abruptly, her previous fatigue swept away. She struck her sacred and inviolable pose once more and shouted at the busy Knights Order,"Everyone! Please step back! This Goddess has discovered that all the treasures in this room have been cursed with an extremely wicked hex by the Demon Duke! If we don't perform a Forced Physical Purification immediately, the entire Royal Capital will fall into disaster! Take this! Chain Purification Version!!"Boom! Boom! Boom!Accompanied by Aqua's unrestrained mana bombardment, a series of magnificent explosions echoed through the basement.Gold coins danced in the air, gems sparkled in the intense light, and Haru activated his [Agility] buff, darting through the cover of the holy light like a phantom."Oh my! This pure gold vase was purified so hard it flew right into my arms!"While skillfully stuffing treasures into his bag, Harushouted to the bewildered Lady Claire,"Lady Claire! Don't worry! I'll take these dangerous items back to handle them properly! For the safety of the Kingdom, leave this hard and tiring work to us Adventurers!""Wa-Wait! That's the lord's personal property; it should be confiscated into the national treasury..."Claire was forced back repeatedly by Aqua's blinding holy light, only able to watch helplessly as Haru and Kazuma—who had joined the hauling army at some point—cleared the shelves with the speed of starving tigers pouncing on prey.Kazuma stuffed jewels into his shirt while shedding tears of gratitude:"Haru, you've finally done something human! This is the 'Hero Loots a Private Residence' phase I've dreamed of... ah, no, I mean the 'Hero Clears the Spoils of War' phase!"In this absurd Purification scene, the basement of Aldap's mansion was undergoing a baptism more thorough than any demon invasion.Haru looked at his Adventurer's bag, which was nearly bursting with gold items, gems, and enchanted gear. He even had a heavy pure gold lion's head tucked under his arm. He keenly noticed that Claire's eyes, which had been dazed by the holy light, were now gradually becoming clear and filled with deep suspicion.The knight captain was staring dead at Haru's bloated, comical waistline, stuffed to the brim with treasure."Hey, Haru, that bag of yours... it didn't look that bulging just now, did it? And that handle sticking out, no matter how you look at it, that looks like the 'Sword of Evil-Breaking' from Lord Aldap's collection..."Claire's voice was low, as if brewing a storm, and her hand was already on the hilt of the sword at her waist."Cough! Lady Claire, you misunderstand! It's because the sword felt the Goddess's calling and actively sought refuge to avoid being corrupted by evil energy!"Haru spouted nonsense without even blinking. At the same time, he suddenly grabbed Aqua, who was still frantically casting [Purification] on a silver candlestick."Aqua, that's enough! The evil energy here has been completely cleansed by your sacred and inviolable brilliance! If we stay any longer, your noble mana will be too depleted to maintain your holy image. We must return immediately for a divine rest!""Eh? But that diamond-encrusted toilet brush over there hasn't been purified yet..."Aqua tried to struggle, but was silenced by a sharp look from Haru that promised premium Bubbly Wine."Kazuma! Stop prying the gems off the floor and retreat!"Haru barked at Satou Kazuma, who was currently bent over using a dagger to pry up floor tiles.Kazuma snapped his head up. Seeing Claire's murderous gaze, he shuddered. Instantly leveraging his advantages as an Agility-type player, he dashed to Haru's side in a single bound."Right, right! The mission of justice has been successfully concluded! We need to head back and write a detailed battle report. Lady Claire, leave the remaining cleanup to the professional Knights Order! Goodbye!"Before Claire could even react, Haru was already dragging Aqua away, followed by Kazuma carrying a large, heavy bag of riches. The three of them vanished through the basement exit as fast as rabbits being chased by a dog."Stop right there! You bunch of...!"Claire's roar echoed behind them. However, since she was still responsible for escorting the slumped Aldap, she could only watch helplessly as this group of so-called heroes disappeared into the pre-dawn shadows.Twenty minutes later, inside an inconspicuous luxury hotel room in the Royal Capital.Clatter!Haru dumped the loot from his bag onto the soft carpet. The sound of gold coins clashing with gems was exceptionally pleasant in the quiet early morning.Aqua and Kazuma pounced instantly, like two dragons discovering a mountain of gold, their eyes filled with eris symbols."We're rich, we're rich! Haru, you're a genius! I've never seen this much money in my life!"Kazuma hugged a golden lion's head, rubbing his face against it, his drool nearly leaking out."Hmph, this is all the result of this Goddess's hard work in Purification. I want the biggest share! I'm going to buy that high-end wine glass with my portrait on it, and a whole wagon of top-tier Bubbly Wine!"Aqua stood with her hands on her hips, looking smug, completely forgetting how she had been crying from fear of the demon in the basement.Haru leaned against the window, watching the skyline gradually brighten. A meaningful smile played at the corners of his mouth."Don't get excited too early. We can't sell these things directly yet. News of Aldap's arrest will soon spread through the capital, and Claire will definitely take inventory. Until the heat dies down, these things will stay with me for safekeeping."Haru tapped the floor with his staff, drawing their attention back.
Chapter 236: Axel is Our Battlefield!A few days later, the atmosphere in the entire Royal Capital shifted from initial shock to total fervor.Aldap—the once-powerful lord—was officially convicted of treason for colluding with demons, attempting to kidnap the royalty, and possessing a large number of blasphemous divine artifacts.Although he kept screaming frantically during transport that it was all an Adventurer's conspiracy, his fate was sealed when that ring and a mountain of evidence were presented before Claire.And today was the day Haru and his group were officially invited to the palace as the heroes who saved the Royal Capital.Inside the magnificent Great Hall of the Royal Palace, sunlight streamed through stained glass, casting light onto the polished marble floor.Haru had changed into a decent-looking set of formal Adventurer's attire, while the companions behind him looked... quite unique in their own ways."Hey, Aqua, put away that Natures Beauty fan you've been hiding in your sleeve! This is the Royal Palace, not a tavern in Axel!"Haru lowered his voice, glaring fiercely at the goddess who was itching to perform a water-spraying show in front of the young princess."What does it matter! This is this Goddess's highest-tier blessing for the royalty! That little girl named Alice will definitely love it!"Despite her stubborn words, Aqua shrunk her neck back when she saw the rows of solemn Royal Guards surrounding them."Haru, I-I feel it... the gazes from those knights... are those looks of awe, worship, and the expectation that 'if it's this female knight, she could surely endure any torture'? Haa... the air in the Royal Palace is truly wonderful..."Darkness's face was flushed red, her body twisting unnaturally, causing the surrounding knights to display complex expressions that the daughter of the prestigious Dustiness Family truly lived up to her reputation (in many senses).Just as Kazuma was nervously straightening his collar, fearing his past scum-like deeds would be exposed in public, a loud shout from the Chamberlain signaled the curtains at the end of the hall to slowly draw open.The young yet dignified Princess Alice, accompanied by Claire and Rain, walked slowly toward the throne.Her gem-like pure eyes flashed with sincere gratitude and... a certain subtle curiosity when she saw Haru."Heroes who saved the country, please raise your heads."Alice's voice was clear and melodious, echoing through the Great Hall."Aldap's conspiracy has been exposed. Had you all not stepped forward, the Royal Capital and even the entire kingdom would have fallen into irrecoverable Darkness. As a representative of the Royal Family, I offer you my most sincere thanks."Claire stepped forward, and though her eyes still held a hint of suspicion that this guy had definitely stolen something, she still officially unfurled a parchment scroll:"In view of the outstanding contributions of Adventurers Haru, Satou Kazuma, Aqua, Megumin, and Darkness in the Aldap rebellion incident, His Majesty the King hereby bestows: a reward of fifty million eris each! And grants the title of Honorary Guardians of the Royal Capital!""Fifty million!"After accepting the massive bounty—enough for an ordinary person to squander for several lifetimes—the group was led to the palace's extremely luxurious dining room.The ten-meter-long white marble dining table was covered with delicacies that couldn't be found even in the most expensive tavern in Axel:Deep-sea lobsters radiating magical fluctuations, truffle-roasted meat coated in gold powder, and the top-tier sparkling wine that Aqua was staring at intently, said to be worth a million per bottle."This wine! Is this wine actually the Tears of the Snow Spirit from the frozen lands?! It's crying! It's calling out for me to purify it!"Aqua, showing no goddess-like image at all, had half her body nearly crawling onto the table, clutching two bottles of wine and refusing to let go, causing Rain's brow to twitch incessantly.Megumin, with a serious face, poked a giant monster egg with a fork, chanting in a low voice:"Oh, chaotic power slumbering within the eggshell, awaken within the mouth of the Crimson Demon Clan's number one Archwizard..."Princess Alice, sitting at the head of the table, wasn't angry at this group of heroes with their peculiar styles; instead, she showed a lighthearted, heartfelt smile.She elegantly cut a small piece of foie gras and spoke softly:"Actually, besides thanking everyone today, there's one more thing I want to tell you. To better understand this country and to hone my sword skills and mind, I've decided to leave the palace in a few days to go on a several-month-long training and inspection tour of the border territories."Upon hearing this, Kazuma, who was busy stuffing high-end fruit into his clothes, froze in his tracks.Alice turned her head, looking at Haru and Kazumawith sincere eyes:"If you are willing, I can arrange for you to stay in the palace as specially appointed royal consultants. There are the best training grounds here, the top chefs, and... I also hope to have more opportunities to ask you for your adventuring experiences."When Kazuma heard about the top chefs and staying in the palace, his eyes instantly lit up like a glowing Slime. He was just about to agree wholeheartedly when he felt a chill run up his spine.He stiffly turned his head and met Haru's eyes, which were also flashing with a 'this is bad' light.Scenes of what he had seen in the Royal Capital these past few days flashed through Haru's mind:Those nobles who originally relied on Aldap might be polite to them on the surface, but the looks they cast from behind were practically as if they wanted to swallow them alive.Not to mention the treasures they had 'liberated' during that night's Purification operation; Claire had surely started checking the accounts."Hey, Kazuma."Haru whispered in a voice only the two of them could hear,"You don't actually think that after this protective charm princess leaves, we could survive for three days among a bunch of nobles who want to chop us into mincemeat, do you?"Kazuma shuddered, imagining a scene of himself being cornered in a restroom by a group of muscular knight thugs for a 'friendly chat.' Cold sweat instantly broke out on his forehead:"...You're right. This place has money, but life is more important. Those noble henchmen we took down are definitely waiting for Princess Alice to leave before they make their move."Haru took a deep breath, putting on an expression of extreme regret yet appearing exceptionally noble, and bowed slightly to Alice:"We appreciate Your Highness's kindness. But as Adventurers, our roots are in Axel. There are still many unfinished requests there, many people in suffering... *cough*, and many unharvested Cabbages waiting for us. Moreover, as Honorary Guardians, we also need to return to the grassroots to spread the majesty of the Royal Family.""Eh?! Are Cabbages more important than palace beds?!"Aqua let out a wail, but was physically silenced by Haru's hand-chop."That's right! Axel is our battlefield!"Kazuma also stood up righteously, even affectedly wiping away non-existent tears,"Your Highness, please take care. Once we've handled the urgent matters there, we will definitely come to pay our respects again! (Wait until the heat dies down first!)"A hint of reluctance flashed in Alice's eyes, but it was mostly admiration for this group of heroes who didn't covet wealth or fame:"I see, your resolve is truly moving. In that case, I won't force you. I will arrange for the best carriage to take you back to Axel."Claire snorted from the side. Although her expression was still stern, her tone had softened considerably:"At least you have some self-awareness. Once you're back in Axel, don't go around swindling people under the banner of the Royal Family again!"And so, driven by both money and crisis, this team that had saved the Royal Capital set off once again on the journey back to the starter town.
Chapter 237: The Hero Party Instantly DisintegratesAs the carriage wheels rolled over the familiar flagstone path of Axel's city gate, which carried a scent of mud mixed with ale, everyone finally returned to this town known as the beginner's starting point but filled with all sorts of freaks.The first thing Haru did was contact those professionals in Axel who operated in the grey areas.Over the next few days, Haru, Kazuma, and Aqua—whose face was written with "I don't want to work, I just want to drink"—sold off the treasures purified from Aldap's basement and various conspicuous supplies brought back from the Royal Capital in batches. This was done through Wiz's magic item shop (although Wiz herself kept crying that these items of unknown origin would get her arrested by the Knights Order, she was forcibly persuaded by Haru's excuse that it was for the sake of saving the world) and several underground chambers of commerce.When the last chest of gold coins was piled in Axel's somewhat simple temporary base (a private room on the second floor of a tavern), everyone was dazzled by the glittering golden light."P-plus the bounty from the royal family and the income from selling those items with evil energy... Haru, have you finished the math? Exactly how much money do we have now?!"Kazuma's hands trembled as he flicked the abacus, the beads moving so fast they almost gave off sparks.Haru put down the draft paper covered in complex numbers and money laundering routes, an extremely scum and satisfied smile appearing at the corner of his mouth."Deducting the handling fees for Wiz, the bribes for the city gate guards, and the expensive alcohol Aqua secretly drank over the past few days... our current total liquid assets are approximately 240 million eris."240 million!The room instantly fell into a deathly silence, followed by a cheer loud enough to blow the roof off."Hurray!! I'm a billionaire!! I'm going to buy the biggest mansion in town! I'm going to build a fountain in the yard that gushes Nero Wine 24/7!!"Aqua rolled on the carpet in excitement, completely losing her dignity as a goddess, and even started trying to bathe in gold coins."Hehe... hehehe... the Succubus Shop... I'm going to book all the succubi and have them weave the highest-tier harem dreams for me every night..."Kazuma let out a spine-chilling laugh, the light in his eyes completely gone as he immersed himself in unprincipled fantasies.Megumin, on the other hand, tightly hugged her staff, her eyes fixed firmly on the pile of gold coins."Haru, I want to buy all the expensive catalysts that can amplify the power of Explosion Magic! I want to make my [Explosion] a true work of art!"Only Darkness sat to the side, looking at her companions corrupted by money, muttering with a bright red face."Even with this much money, I still can't buy the pleasure of being ravaged by powerful monsters... However, if I use this money to buy some extremely expensive items specifically for torture... Ugh! No, I can't think about it anymore!"Haru stood up and clapped his hands, drawing everyone's attention back.Haru looked at his companions, whose souls had been completely corrupted by money and were even starting to hallucinate, and sighed deeply.If he kept all 240 million eris for himself, he could indeed become the de facto dictator of this party, and could even use money to induce Aqua into performing various high-difficulty banquet tricks.But the trouble that would follow would definitely be catastrophic.Aqua would cling to his leg twenty-four hours a day with a crying face asking for alcohol money, Kazumawould constantly watch him with dark eyes thinking he was definitely taking kickbacks, and Meguminmight protest by casting Explosion Magic in front of his door every day because she couldn't afford expensive magic catalysts.For his hard-earned peace and quiet, and to avoid being backstabbed in his sleep by these troublemakers, Haru decided to adopt the safest strategy."Alright, everyone calm down! Listen, although I am the nominal manager of these funds, I don't intend to keep them all for myself."Haru slapped the table hard, jolting Aqua out of the pile of gold coins."For the sake of fairness, and so everyone can realize their own loser dreams, I've decided to implement an equal asset distribution system."Kazuma, who was still giggling, suddenly looked up, his eyes clearing significantly."E-equal distribution? Haru, are you serious? Your brain hasn't been infected by Aqua, has it?""I'm serious."Haru gave a saintly smile, but to Kazuma, this smile was full of tactical cunning."Aside from the 40 million eris for the public fund to repair and renovate the mansion, the remaining 200 million eris will be split among the five of us, 40 million each. You can spend this money however you want—whether it's on alcohol, dreaming, blowing up mountains, or buying torture devices, I won't care at all. But in exchange, you'll be responsible for your own expenses from now on. Don't even think about getting another cent from me!""F-forty million?!"Aqua let out a scream loud enough to shatter glass. She grabbed Haru's waist, tears and snot flowing."Haru! You are my true god! No, you are the only saint of the Axis Order! I declare that from today on, you are my favorite believer! Quick, give me the money, I'm going to buy that bottle of red wine legendary for being soaked in Dragon Blood!""Forty million..."Megumin's face flushed red. She gripped her cloak tightly, her voice trembling."With this money, I can even order a staff made from the core of a thousand-year-old tree... Haru, as a leader, you occasionally radiate a heroic light that's impossible to look at directly."Darkness, meanwhile, was twiddling her fingers with a conflicted expression."Forty million... If I donate all this money to the church and then live a miserable life where I can't even eat and am chased by debt collectors... Ugh! This is simply the ultimate reward!"Kazuma was the most practical one. He quickly pulled out a small notebook and began recording frantically."Forty million... A top-tier service at the Succubus Shop is 50,000. I could even go for eight hundred consecutive days... No, I want to invest. I'll make money grow money. I'll become the underground emperor of Axel!"Haru looked at these people, each with their own ulterior motives, and sneered inwardly. Giving them money was just to buy some peace, and most importantly—given their intelligence and luck stats, this money was destined not to stay in their hands for long.As Haru announced the end of the loot distribution, the hero party, which had been somewhat of a whole, instantly disintegrated.Aqua was like a bolt of blue lightning, clutching that huge check as she dove headfirst into Axel's most expensive liquor store, letting out silly giggles along the way.Kazuma looked solemn, as if he were about to attend some sacred ceremony, but in reality, his feet were moving fast toward that paradise for men located in a dark corner of the town, filled with a pink atmosphere.Megumin rushed toward the blacksmith's shop while chanting chuunibyou lines about destruction and wealth.Meanwhile, Darkness, with an expression of tragic heroism almost like a martyr, walked toward the eris Cathedral, presumably to inquire about how to legally bankrupt herself and fall into a state of destitution.
Chapter 238: Kazuma's Secret"These guys, as expected, as long as they have money, they even feed basic teamwork to the Slimes."He helplessly rubbed his temples and casually stuffed the remaining forty million—the public funds originally intended for repairing and renovating their mansion—into his pocket.When Haru pushed open the gates of the magnificent yet somewhat lonely mansion located on the outskirts of the city, he wasn't greeted by the usual slightly lonely yet expectant greeting of the Crimson Demon Clan girl.On the table in the entrance hall lay a letter sealed with wax.Haru raised an eyebrow, walked over, and opened the envelope. Inside was elegant and neat handwriting, reflecting a seriousness and bashfulness unique to the writer:"To Haru (and everyone): Um... although it's sudden, there seems to be an emergency over at the Crimson Demon Village. The elders sent word requesting my immediate return to help. Since everyone was still at the Royal Capital and hadn't returned yet, I couldn't say goodbye in person. I'm very sorry. Once I've handled the situation there, I will definitely return immediately! PS: If possible, please don't forget my existence... — Sincerely, Yunyun.""An emergency at the Crimson Demon Village?"Haru casually folded the letter and put it in his pocket, muttering to himself,"Probably some kid using forbidden magic as fireworks again, or those brain-dead Crimson Demon Clan members coming up with another bizarre festival. Still, with Yunyun gone, this house is indeed quiet enough that it's a bit hard to get used to."However, this silence lasted for less than three hours.As night fell, the nouveau riche carnival of Axelofficially began.The first to return was Aqua.She didn't walk back; she was carried back by four sweating, burly men.The massive carriage was filled with wine barrels bearing the label of the Royal Family's personal supply, and the goddess was sprawled among the barrels, clutching a half-eaten giant lobster and mumbling:"Hehe... Haru... come look... I've... emptied out... the most expensive wine... in all of Axel... from now on... I am the Goddess of Wine... hic!"Immediately after, the mansion's door was rudely pushed open. Kazuma was wearing a gold suit inlaid with cheap sequins; although he looked like a moving disco ball, his face wore a sense of exhaustion following a spiritual sublimation."Haru... I saw it... I saw heaven..."Kazuma leaned against the door frame, his eyes dazed,"That wish list at the Succubus Shop... I filled three whole pages... tonight... don't even think about waking me up... I'm going to... rule the world... in my dreams..."Megumin was the last to return, carrying a bag larger than herself that constantly made the sound of clashing metal.Her eyepatch seemed to have been replaced with a luxury version encrusted with rubies, and her entire being radiated a wild aura of 'I'm super rich now':"Haru! Look! This is a staff tip forged from Abyssal Black Iron! Tomorrow... tomorrow's Explosion Magicwill have its power increased by at least thirty percent! Hahahaha!"Haru sat on the sofa, looking at his teammates who had gone completely wild, as well as the floor covered in wine bottles, debris, and various expensive but useless luxuries."Well, it seems Yunyun not being here was actually a good thing."Haru sighed,"After all, a scene like this fallen heroes' gathering is a bit too stimulating for a pure girl like her."He poured himself a glass of the expensive red wine Aqua had brought back and leaned back comfortably against the expensive velvet cushions.Since everyone had decided to squander their lives, then as the captain, there seemed to be nothing wrong with him occasionally enjoying this unprincipled wealthy lifestyle.Haru stood in the mansion's hallway, which was covered in expensive carpets, listening to the bursts of infatuated sleep-talking—complete with giggles—coming from Kazuma's room. An inexplicable curiosity scratched at his heart like a cat's claws."A three-page wish list..."Haru rubbed his chin, his lips curling into a playful arc,"With that guy's meager imagination and scumnature, I thought it would all be clichés like being surrounded by bunny girls or becoming a harem king. But three pages... that's no longer simple desire; that's writing a full-length script, isn't it?"To satisfy this damn curiosity, Haru put on his cloak and headed back into the night to that familiar Succubus Shop, its sign flickering with an ambiguous pink light.Inside, several hot succubi with small wings were sitting together counting the night's earnings.Seeing Haru walk in, the mature and voluptuous Succubus Manager at the head of the group immediately flashed a professional, sweet smile."Oh, isn't this Mr. Lin Jin? Are you here to book a dream filled with the aura of a hero tonight?"Haru sat elegantly at the bar, pulled out a thick stack of eris, and pushed it over, his eyes revealing a sense of depth:"No need for a booking. I'm just a bit curious about the epic wish list my companion, Satou Kazuma, filled out tonight. As his captain, I need to ensure he doesn't suffer from mental exhaustion in his dream due to overexcitement; after all, we still have a lot of world-saving work to do."The Succubus Manager looked at the stack of money, then at Haru's face, which was full of charisma and credibility. She chuckled a bit hesitantly while covering her mouth:"Normally, this is customer privacy... but if it's Mr. Lin Jin, it really is for the sake of your companion. That Mr. Satou is indeed a strange customer. He filled the first two pages of the wish list with all sorts of flowery rhetoric—things like reuniting at the edge of destruction, bonds of fate, forbidden contracts..."As she spoke, she pulled out a copy from under the counter and pointed to the keywords on the last page, her expression becoming strange:"But the core object of the dream he finally requested was actually that Crimson Demon Clangirl who uses Explosion Magic at the city gate every day... Megumin, right? The content was: 'In the ruins under the sunset, Megumin collapses into his arms because her mana is exhausted, crying while saying he is the most reliable man in the world, and blushing as she asks him to teach her... cough, Adult Magic'."Haru's expression instantly froze.He had originally thought he would hear something more scum-like or something that broke all boundaries, but this result gave him an unprecedented sense of absurdity.That Satou Kazuma, who usually says things like 'I'm not interested in brats' or 'get that flat chest away from me,' actually desires this kind of chuunibyou pure love script with a heavy sense of nurturing and self-satisfaction in his heart?And the target is that Megumin?"Pfft..."Haru finally couldn't hold it back and burst out laughing at the bar of the Succubus Shop,"Hahahaha! That guy is actually pursuing such cheap achievement in his dreams? And 'Adult Magic'... just how much does he want to be able to hold his head up high in front of Megumin!"The Succubus Manager also started laughing:"Yes, to construct that image of Megumin becoming bashful out of admiration, we had to use the energy and imagination of several high-ranking succubi. Mr. Satou should be immersed in the happiness of being surrounded by 'bashful Crimson Demons' right about now."Haru stopped laughing, a glint of mischief flashing in his eyes.He could already imagine how wonderful the expression on Kazuma's face would be tomorrow morning when he wakes up, walks out of his room feeling refreshed, only to see the real-life Meguminwho is still sharp-tongued, still only cares about Explosion Magic, and still treats him like a trashy shut-in neet."Thanks, this money was well spent."Haru stood up and left the Succubus Shop, feeling satisfied.
Chapter 239: Tonight, You Are the King of AxelHaru walked out of the Succubus Shop. The cool night breeze of Axel brushed against his face, clearing his brain, which had been slightly heated by alcohol.In his mind, the image described by the Succubus Manager kept flashing: the setting sun, the ruins, a bashful Megumin, and that Kazuma who was so majestic in the dream."Even though that guy is usually such a scum that it makes one want to call the police, thinking about it carefully, as comrades who struggled together since the starter village, seeing him only able to find this humble sense of accomplishment in a dream makes me feel like I've been too negligent as a captain."Haru stopped in his tracks and looked up toward the mansion, a complex smile crossing his lips—a mix of wanting to help and wanting to cause a bit of chaos.Instead of watching him wake up disappointed tomorrow morning, why not... help him push that dream a small step closer to reality?After returning to the mansion, Haru didn't go back to his room to sleep but instead tiptoed into the kitchen.He remembered that among the pile of expensive alcohol Aqua had brought back, there was a bottle of a specialty from the Crimson Demon Land near the Crimson Demon Village—Madness Fruit Wine.To ordinary people, that wine was just spicy, but for the Crimson Demon Clan, it had a strange side effect similar to a Truth Serum combined with excessive hyper-excitability.Haru took out a small bottle of the fruit wine and then grabbed a piece of Megumin's favorite smoked meat from the fridge."Alright, everything is ready; all that's missing is tomorrow's Explosion Magic."The next day at noon, in the wilderness outside Axel.As usual, after unleashing that earth-shattering [Explosion], Megumin flopped onto the ground like a tattered rag.But today, Haru intentionally didn't go to carry her. Instead, he turned to look at Kazuma, who hadn't fully woken up yet and was drooling with a lecherous look on his face."Hey, Kazuma! Stop reminiscing about your adult magic! Megumin seems to be suffering from a particularly bad mana backlash today; her breathing is getting weak!"Haru channeled his inner Best Actor, shouting with an anxious tone."Wh-what?! Megumin?!"Kazuma snapped awake, the lingering feelings of the dream not yet dissipated. Hearing the words 'mana backlash,' his body moved faster than his brain. He slid on his knees and caught the fallen Megumin in his arms."Hey! Megumin! Are you okay? Don't scare me! You haven't learned... cough, you haven't seen me become a hero yet!"Just then, while the two weren't paying attention, Haru quickly stuffed the piece of smoked meat soaked in Madness Fruit Wine into Megumin's mouth."Mmph... mmph?"Megumin subconsciously chewed a couple of times and swallowed.In less than three seconds, the Crimson Demon girl's originally pale face instantly turned bright red, and even her red left eye began to emit a physical red glow.Under the dual effects of the alcohol and the Madness Fruit, Megumin's reason instantly snapped. In her blurry vision, the Kazuma before her actually overlapped with the hero who saved the world in her dream."Ka... Kazuma..."Uncharacteristically, Megumin didn't use her sharp tongue. Instead, she reached out her trembling small hand, grabbed Kazuma's collar, and curled into his embrace. Her voice was as thin as a mosquito's buzz but carried a hint of a sob."You... you idiot... why did you only come now... I... I really admire you so much... Pl-please teach me... things other than Explosion Magic... those..."Kazuma's brain short-circuited instantly. This touch, these lines, this identical sunset background (even though it was noon, it looked like a sunset to him)!"Is... is the dream coming true?!" Kazuma's hands trembled as he tightly held the petite body in his arms, tears welling up in his eyes."Megumin! I've... I've been waiting for this moment too!"Haru stood not far away, recording this historic scene with a Recording Crystal while sighing with satisfaction."No need to thank me, Kazuma. Although Meguminmight blow you into ash with Explosion Magic once she sobers up, at least for this moment, you are the happiest man in Axel."Haru looked at the scene before him, which resembled an illustration from a low-quality romance light novel. He tried his best to stifle his laughter, walked quickly to Kazuma—who was still holding Megumin with an entranced expression—and whispered in an enticing 'Tactical Commander' tone:"Hey, Kazuma. Since the dream has crossed into reality, do you really plan to end your peak moment here in the mud of the wilderness? Look at Meguminnow; this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. If you take her to the most high-end Starry Sky Tower Restaurant in Axel now, with candlelight and music... hehe, maybe you can directly reenact the rest of those three pages in reality."Kazuma's body shuddered violently. He looked up, his face—which looked particularly distorted against his sequined suit—filled with ecstasy and anxiety."The... The Starry Sky Tower?! That top-tier restaurant where a single meal costs a hundred thousand eris and requires a reservation a month in advance?! That's right! I have money now! I'm a man with forty million!"He looked down at Megumin, who was still rubbing against him and mumbling that Kazuma was the coolest. His gaze instantly became incredibly determined."Haru, you really are my brother from another world! Let's go! We're going now! I want everyone in Axelto see that I, Satou Kazuma, am no shut-in! I'm a real man who can take the number one genius of the Crimson Demon Clan to a top-tier French dinner!""That's the spirit. However, Megumin can't walk in her current state; you'll have to carry her."Haru said as he skillfully activated the Recording Crystal."Don't worry, there's still money in the party fund. I'll book the entire floor for you in the party's name. Tonight, you are the king of Axel."And so, half an hour later, an extremely absurd scene appeared in the city of Axel:A teenager wearing a blindingly bright gold sequined suit, with 'nouveau riche' written all over his face, was carrying a limp, red-faced Crimson Demon girl in a princess carry, who was still making strange giggling sounds.Behind them, Haru was solemnly directing several musicians hired with a large sum of money, who played stirring music resembling a hero's triumphant return as they walked.Aqua, meanwhile, was carrying a large bag of expensive alcohol that hadn't been finished, skipping along behind them and occasionally popping an expensive grape into her mouth."I don't know what you guys are doing, but since there's a feast to be had, this Goddess will graciously accompany you! Hey! Kazuma, I want to order that most expensive roast meat!"When the group stormed into the Starry Sky Tower Restaurant, the waiter at the door—who wore a tuxedo and was usually quite snobbish—was completely stunned."Gu... guests, a reservation is required here..."Haru expressionlessly pulled out a thick stack of erisand slapped it directly onto the waiter's chest."Make a reservation now, book the top floor, immediately. Also, light up your best hangover cure... no, your best aphro... cough, I mean, your best festive fragrance for me."The waiter looked at the stack of money, enough to buy half a lifetime of his labor, and instantly bowed, revealing a smile even more brilliant than a succubus's."Honorable Hero-sama, the top-floor observation deck has been prepared for you! Please!"On the top floor, outside the floor-to-ceiling windows, was the beautiful night view of Axel.Kazuma carefully placed Megumin on a chair covered with a velvet tablecloth and sat opposite her, straightening his back and trying to maintain his heroic posture.Meanwhile, Megumin was in the final peak of the Madness Fruit's effect. She sprawled across the table, staring intently at Kazuma with her red-glowing eyes. She suddenly reached out and grabbed Kazuma's hand, her voice so sweet it was sickening:"U-um... Kazuma... since the atmosphere is so good... shouldn't we... do something... more heart-pounding than... than Explosion Magic?"The goblet in Kazuma's hand fell to the floor with a clatter. He felt like he was about to melt at that 'Kazuma'.Haru stood in the shadows not far away, elegantly cutting a steak while whispering to Aqua beside him:"Did you record it? This is precious material for future blackma... cough, I mean, for playing at their wedding."