Forgetting how to breath for a moment hoshi who was stunned by yuta's sudden confession came back to reality and looked away scoffing lightly at himself, he could feel the emotions bursting inside him, the extreme rush of happiness caused his cheeks to turn red.
"Are you sure?" Hoshi asked in a doubtful voice looking at yuta trying to find any lie in his eyes but all he could see is sincerity and he don't know if it's really true or he is just being deceived by his own heart to accept that's it's sincere.
"I am" yuta said without wasting much time as he had gone through the phase of a broken relationship, all those years of isolating himself from letting any another person to enter his heart.
All those regretfull yet necessary lesson he had learned by reminiscing his past everyday, yuta came to realise the importance of a right person and his needs of what he want in his partner.
He never thought that after 7 years someone will suddenly appear in his life and will slowly open his heart without even have to try hard and that's exactly what hoshi did.
And yuta is sure that if he again want to be in a relationship then the person has to be this one korean male who is sitting right in front of him.
"But it's up to you, only if you want to give me a chance" said yuta shifting a bit on the bench and hoshi looked down on his hand looking at the flower bouquet he was holding thinking deeply, he definitely is ready to give chance to this relationship.
He is ready to face any challenge as he is down so bad for the Japanese but that doesn't mean he can jump right into the Japanese's arm without clearing his doubt about winwin.
As he don't want to start a relationship without knowing about the last one and what cause it to end terribly as hoshi thinks it's important to know about this so that hoshi can be careful to neither make the same mistake himself and nor letting yuta repeat the history.
And after spending too many months together already, talking and getting to know each other from the bottom it's not hard for yuta to read hoshi's thought.
But he was waiting for the Korean male to ask about winwin himself as he deserve to ask anything about Yuta's past before committing to him.
As yuta too understand the value of clear communication so he want hoshi to ask him anything without holding himself back like he sometimes do.
"Then, first I want to ask you something." Hoshi said looking right in yuta's eye before speaking further "why did you and winwin broke up?" Asked hoshi and Yuta passed a small gentle appreciating smile at hoshi for finally asking this out.
"Because we didn't had the courage to go through the hardships in order to maintain our relationship" yuta said after a deep thought reminiscing the past memories, he still remember the moment winwin decided to broke up with him after they both get kicked out of SM.
That time yuta was so furious over himself and winwin, he wanted to blame winwin and other conditions for things to turn this bad but after coming to Japan and spending so much time alone he came to realise that it wasn't winwin's fault or anyone else fault.
Hoshi sealed his lips into a tight line listening to Yuta's answer. This is what he was fearing the most as it is his biggest fear what if the same thing happened again?
What if after sometime when they will start facing challenge from people because of their same-sex relationship will they fight together to make this relationship work or will it fall out?
"We both were really young back when we were trainees in SM. I joined SM in 2012 and he joined the company in 2015, and just after few months for his joining we started to hang out with each other, spended all the time possible with each other and later started dating." Yuta start narrating the story to hoshi, who felt a pang in his heart listening to all this but ofcourse yuta and winwin were dating back then so was hoshi expecting to hear something else than them being lovey-dovey? Of course not.
Choosing silence over interrupting hoshi just stayed quiet letting yuta say it all without any disturbance
"we managed to hide our relationship with everyone in the company till The line of group announced. Both sicheng and I made it in the final line- up but then some of my co-trainees who i considered my friend somehow managed to find out about me and sicheng and revealed it in front of the entire company causing the management to kick us out of not only the group but from the company as well as they didn't wanted to have a scandal of their trainees being gay circulating in the media."
Hoshi listened carefully feeling disgusted thinking how come can someone do that to a who they considered their friend?
And about SM taking such decision he wasn't surprised at all because he knows how this industry work after all these years of working here.
"After being kicked out and having to go through such humiliation from everyone for being who he is, sicheng couldn't deal with it anymore and decided to go back to china and we broke up. We never tried to contact with each other and then I decided to focus on my career so I went back to study in Japan after completing my education from there I came back to Korea and joined Tuan Enterprises in 2019. And then one day he showed up again...."
"And tried to get back with you" hoshi completed yuta's sentences causing the Japanese to nod and hoshi sighed looking up at the sky, "you both have gone through so much, it's reasonable why you guys broke up. I am really sorry" Hoshi said looking at yuta feeling genuinely sorry not only for him but winwin as hoshi can only think of how much the Japanese and the Chinese male must have been through all because they decided who to love.
"Is there anything that you wants to ask? If yes go ahead, because I want to clear everything out and then you can decide if you wants to give me a chance or no." Yuta said feeling the pain and fear just by the thought of hoshi not wanting to be with him after Knowing his past. And if that happen yuta wil surely accept hoshi's decision as he knows he can't force the Korean to love him back all because he loves him.
Hoshi didn't respond back immediately to Yuta's word but took his time to collect his time to come up with right words as by hearing the story till now.
Hoshi hs been well aware that the Japanese really have a tough past and of though yuta's is brave enough to talk about it to him and want to answer every question that hoshi has for him.
Hoshi still is taking precautions with his words as this is the best thing he could do right now to try to understand yuta slowly rather than throwing one question after another without taking consideration of the Japanese's emotions.
Pulling a deep breath in hoshi asked in the most gentle and lower tone possible "How did your parents reacted to it?" Hoshi don't know if that's was even the right question to ask yuta but he just did and hearing this question Yuta can't help chuckle bitterly biting his lower lip before answering.
"They disown me." Answered yuta looking down at his hand and hoshi could feel his heart breaking after hearing this but before he could apologise to yuta for triggering his painful memory yuta spoke up again.
"My dad and mom have worked really hard to raise me and my sisters, even though they were against the Idea of me leaving the Home to pursue the career of a kpop idol and coming to Korea at such young age they anyhow let me do it and when they came to know that their son.....blow off his dream because of one mistake they were hurt but.....
"I think what hurt them the most was to coming to know that I am not what they expected me to be... That I am not what the society expect me to be..and that changed their whole perspective about me I- "
before yuta could say something else hoshi put his hand over his holding yuta's hand in a comforting manner rubbing his thumb soothingly on the back of his hand making the Japanese smile at him.
"I don't want to hear anything else please" hoshi said as he can't stand seeing yuta have to recall all of that, looking at hoshi's pleading eyes yuta smiled softly and tighten his grip on hoshi's hand a little.
Nodding softly they both went silent not feeling the urge to say anything because by now they both know what they want hear and their silence is the perfect confession to their feelings for each other.
But After a long silence, hoshi finally speak up looking at yuta's eye before speaking up " i have never been in relationship, don't know anything about perfect dates, perfect way of loving someone i know nothing. Before meeting you the idea that I can also fall in love with a male didn't even crossed my mind.
"Then you show up, ever since I first met you I can't stop thinking and picturing about will we meet again? And then after almost a year and half we did met again but this time we were basically neighbours, but it wasn't smooth sailing at all in the beginning."
Hoshi said to change the topic a bit too something happy and got lost in his own memories while looking at the far distance chuckling to himself remembering how awkward he and yuta were around each other.
That constant ignorance, awkward environment everything that he thought will never change. Changed gradually and now here they are.
"Then one day I fell sick and you had to took care of me and .....
" The next day when you woke up, you, out of blue asked me to be your friend" this time yuta said and they both laughed harmoniously thinking about it.
"And to my surprise you said yes and then..."
"We started interacting through calls, texts some times hanging out together"
"The late night ramyeon party where I forcefully dragged you"
" And came to know it was the time when your birthday was right around the corner"
"And I came to meet you late night on my Birthday"
"And I didn't even bought a present for you"
"Cause you thought I wasnt serious about my words but doesn't matter as you bought dount for me with a candle on it, that was special"
"And you bought that crystal shape ear cuff that I didn't wear that time"
"But now you wear it everyday"
"And then at taeyong's birthday, which was yesterday, your drunk confession to me"
"To which you also confessed"
"Lead us here" they both said at the same time smiling widely and genuinely at each other as they just go through there entire journey till now that feels like a tale.
"Do you think we will be able to make out relationship work?" Because of their shared smiles a moment ago the environment became more relaxed around them and hoshi didn't wanted to break the flow of the conservation asked the question he thought to himself everyday.
"With you being on my side and promising to me to never let go of me, yes, we will make our relationship work. I'll do my best to make it work and to never let you down."
Yuta said with a firm confirmation and vulnerability presence in his voice and expression that made hoshi caught his breath for a second as this what he had wanted to hear, that promise and conviction that faith and hope that yuta showed on him and hiself that they will make it through.
"Then it's a yes." Hoshi said and this time he wasn't feeling nervous, worried or shy at all this moment he feel a strong determination in him to not to let the man sitting in front of him feel down ever.
To not to let anything break their relationship apart, he promised himself internally that no matter how Many things he will have to go through he will face it all with yuta on his side to make this relationship work.
"So that means, i can officially call you mine?" Yuta asked with his eyes shining in the way they never shined before in a long time and Hoshi chuckled before nodding his head in yes.
Sitting there for so long to even remember how late it has already been hoshi and yuta didn't seems to mind it all, because right now they just want to enjoy each other's company not as friends but as boyfriends.
To their luck the wheather had became extremely pleasant by now that the wind was breezing in quite a pace to hot their faces once in a while gently, messing Hoshi's already messy hairs.
causing his short hairs to fall on his face making him look adorable and yuta just can't help but laugh while pushing the hair back from his boyfriend's face back as he can't afford this much cuteness to witness in just a moment.
Every gentle touch of yuta's hand on hoshi's face made the Korean felt so much at peace and comfort that he can't describe it in words and so does for yuta.
when hoshi was pushing back his long hairs back from his cheeks, they didn't felt the typical electric spark that the usually a couple felt while doing skin ship with each other for them their partner's touch bring them the utmost peace and fulfillment that they didn't know they had craved especially for Yuta.
"I want to introduce you to my parents first before taking this relationship further.... Is that ok?"
Hoshi said still stroking Yuta's hair as he is getting so comfortable doing it and so does the Japanese male. Hearing hoshi's word yuta looked up in his eyes and noticed that hoshi was looking nervous perhaps thinking will yuta be ok with it?
And also the thought about how his parents might act but still hoshi don't want to hide it from his parents when hoshi know that this the person he wants to spend his life with and his parents will eventually come to know anyhow so why not tell them by himself, hoshi thought.
"I am more then ready to meet your parents" yuta said taking Hoshi hand away from his hairs to hold it gently in his own hand smiling at the Korean who smiled back in return.
"Umm how about next month? I will have a day off." Hoshi asked while almost leaning on Yuta's side closing the every possible distance between them without realising and no body minds it.
"I'll clear off my schedule as well, just send me the date and time" yuta said and hoshi hummed putting his head on the Japanese male's shoulder looking down at his both hand one that was holding the flower bouquet and the other that was being hold by the one who bought him flowers, his lover.
Tightening his grip on their interlocked hand a bit hoshi wander off to think how his parents will act?
Will he able to convince them?
Hoshi has knew he was a bi-sexual until this male sitting right beside him putting his head on hoshi's head very gently showed up in the Korean male's life.
Hoshi's parents are really open-minded, free-spirited and supportive to both the Kwon siblings, they have always supported their children's dreams so hoshi believe that they will accept their son for being a bi-sexual too.
But then he thought about it again and slightly panicked thinking what if they don't?
Hoshi can't afford hurting his parents but he also can't afford losing yuta as well so the upcoming month would be the decisive month for him and for his relationships both with his family and with yuta.
But having a firm believe himself and on yuta, the Korean male is ready to go through any thing.
[]
"Damn, is it for real? You are really going huh.. I thought you were just joking till now, oh injunjie!" Jungwoo said engulfing the younger Chinese male's small body in a big warm hug before renjun and winwin check in for their flight.
Everyone including hoshi were there biding there final goodbye to one of the member of their friend cricle. They didn't even realised how quickly these past four years passed by, taeyong still remember the day doyoung has introduced renjun to him asking him to give the Chinese male a job at his cafe.
After rejecting the proposal for so many times taeyong at the end had to give up because the Chinese male was really persistent to work with taeyong even at low wages and that was the day and it's today renjun has always stuck with taeyong during his work.
No one realised that this one specific Chinese male with a cinnamon personality will make a special place in everyone's heart at such small time that now everyone are a emotional as hell biding farewell to renjun. The older ones are strong enough to hide their tears well but the younger ones including seungkwan, jungwoo, dokyeom and the most vulnerable at thi moment donghyuck can't help themselves from tearing up over and over again.
Donghyuck or haechan was having a literal breakdown at the airport while clinging badly at hoshi's one arm trying to hide his face which was all red by now, back facing renjun who was meeting everyone for the last time, they were rommates so it's obvious haechan is being effected the most at this moment afterall he will live alone at their share apartment and he just can't bear the thought of it.
Hoshi who was himself on the verge of shedding tear was holding himself back while smiling in the consoling manner to the younger Korean who was clinging on his arm for his dear life. Making hoshi rub his back while whispering comforting words to him, seeing his such state renjun chuckled off while wiping off his own tears before making his way to the his bestfriend who at first didn't wanted to look at him but the moment renjun tried to hold his arm haechan turned at the speed of light throwing himself at renjun crying loudly while hiding his face in the shoulder of the Chinese making everyone share a look of pain and sympathy for their younger brother.
"Stop crying big baby" renjun said trying to tease haechan while being teary himself and that caused haechan to sob louder before looking up to meet his friends eye and oh lord renjun could swear he has never seen haechan crying this hard over anything in those three years.
Cheeks being covered with tears, those big red puffy swollen eyes and those sob that were making the process of breathing harder for the younger Korean, seeing him in this situation was not expected by anyone let alone renjun because haechan has always been so goofy but the bond he shared with is really so strong that right now haechan is completely devasted.
"W-who wil-l i s-h-are the A-par-tme-nt with n-ow? I'll hav-e to p-ay the e- entire rent by m-m-my-self n-o-w. Why do y-ou hav-e to g-o?" Haechan said that entire paragraph having a hard time as his voice was break into sobs the harder he try to stop himself from sobbing so that he can speak properly the harder he breaks into sob with each and every word having hard time breathing.
Worried that haechan might worsen his health crying this much by seeing renjun in front of him Jeonghan and other suggested the two Chinese males to go inside to check in for their flights and they agreed, engulfing in a big tight hug for the last time everyone let go in the fear that the older male's might start crying too in a minute and that would be a problem.
Saying goodbye to everyone renjun and winwin went further inside the airport while renjun looking back over and over again waving to his brothers who were all having teary eyes by now and haechan once again lost it throwing himself at Jeonghan hiding his face in his chest as the older was standing right besides him.
Jungwoo, dokyeom, seungkwan seeing haechan's condition couldn't help but sob harder and rushed to hug the members who were standing nearby to hide themselves from the passerby who were giving them a hard-core judgemental look.
Seungkwan rushed to hug dk and jungwoo hugged Joshua making the older softly laugh at him before patting his head trying to console him when jungwoo was busy soaking Joshua's shirt in tears.
It's true that farewells can never be sweet and heart warming. They are really heart wrenching and bitter.
To be continued....