[Quincy POV]
"C'mon, Kid! I guarantee its a priceless treasure. Your life will never be the same! It's the God artifact from a civilization that exists at the end of time!"
Bruh. What in the actual fuck is this situation?
I look at the elderly man, but instantly regret my decision.
His leather looking skin is sagging in all the wrong places, and his nose hairs are longer than my pub- *ahem* Armpit hairs. Yeah. Armpit hairs. Gotta keep it PG, right?
He's has one of those necks with the flappy loose skin underneath that some old people get that looks like a disgusting turkey gizzard.
His teeth are yellow and cracked. All three of them. And they're stained with what I can only hope is Cheetoh dust.
His glass eyes rolls around more ominously than the man in the Tell-Tale Heart, and doesn't lose in creepiness to the man who wrote it.
Atop his head is a tinfoil hat over his bushy gray eyebrows which unfortunately fail to hide the unsettling gaze of the eyes below him.
A sleazy smile stretches his face.
"Look, Boomer," I say in frustration, looking anywhere but at him as I vent my frustration at this situation. "Can I call you Boom for short? I'ma call you Boom for short."
"You yungins are quite good at naming he says, his eyes glimmering in admiration.
I'm gonna punch him. Right there on that saggy ballsac of a chin. I think, nearly pulling a Teddy Swims and losing control.
I want to be pissed, but seeing the genuine look of approval on his grinning face makes me realize... he is legitimately retarded.
But he's the only one with the goddamn Toll Road pass that I need to get to Montana without paying more for tolls than gas.
I deflate, wearily sighing. "Just ring me up first the glasses, and get me 'The Unbelievable Gwenpool' issue #1. My sister likes Gwenpool, so that's the only reason I even stopped at this horror trap.
The way 'Boom' grins excitedly makes me feel like a complete asshole for getting smart with him.
For a whole two seconds. After that, I get an excellent reminder why I was ready ti strangle the man.
"Excellent choice, young fella! Ringing the OmniLenses and the comic plus this Toll pass thingamabobber. We happen to have a great selection of women's clothing if you'd be interested in our summer sal-"
"JUST RING ME UP DAMMIT!!" I roar, reaching in my wallet, grabbing way more than was needed for the two items, leaping over the counter and grabbing my items before taking off like Usain Bolt in my desperate attempt to get the fuck outta dodge.
My beat up '09 Impala coughs to life, and I hightail it outta like the devil himself is hot on my heels.
[3rd person POV]
Watching the boy leave, the old man chuckles, but it isn't in amusement. It's in relief. Relief that the wait for hope has arrived at its ultimate conclusion.
Whether that's good or bad is yet undetermined.
"The fated one has taken up his mantle," He says wistfully. "The King and the Crown. But now... The two that are one... must become the one that is all..."
The cryptic words reach the ears of no one, and if you looked closely, the store and its owner are fading. Or rather... they were never really there at all...
[Quincy POV]
"Stupid old man. Stupid Store. Stupid Impala! GAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!"
Banging on the smoking hood of my now broke down Impala, the gutteral cry rips from my throat like a banshee.
If there were any observers, they'd most likely be reminded of that scene in the Thor movie where he fails to lift Mjolnir and yells out at the sky on his knees.
I had barely been driving for thirty minutes when, without a warning sign or anything like it, my precious baby broke down.
It only started smoking from under the hood when I banged on it in frustration.
"I'm sorry, baby," I say rubbing the hood tenderly. "You know I ain't mean it. You're my everything. Without you, I'm stranded here in North Dakota on a 97°F day. You know I need you. Please answer me. Please forgive me!"
Pop. Pop pop. Pop Pop Pop. Pop Pop Pop Pop.
Seven holes appear in my car hood, and the the distinct sound of semi-muffled firearms being fired multiple times is heard.
Before I can even process that cognitive my body hits the ground instinctually, and rolls slightly under the car, while keeping enough of myself free to get gone if need be.
WHAT THE FUCK! WHY IS SOMEONE SHOOTING AT ME?!?!
I scream internally, panicking harder than I'd ever panicked before.
My hands clutch the prickly overgrown weeds lining the side of the road on the interstate, my heart trying its utmost best to break free from my chest.
The shooting stops and I think that whoever is shooting at me is done for the moment, so I hesitantly peek out, but immediately duck back under the impala as soon as more bullets ding against the rims of my precious car.
Goddamit," I mutter angrily. "whoever is shooting at me is an insensitive, fucktard.
Don't they know the goddamn cost of gas nowadays? Not to mention now I might have to get a new car, and if I don't, the repair bill's gonna make me wish that I just did in the first place.
Either way, I lose not to mention that I'm getting fuckin shot at. Once again, the hail of bullets comes to a lull, and I hesitantly peek out once more to see if my assailants have ceased their action of destroying anything that adds net worth to my name.
Looking out and seeing my attackers, I kind of wish that I had just stayed put. Because what I just saw can never be unseen.
And I don't know how to feel about what I did just see. Six three and a half foot tall creatures that look to be aliens straight out of Star Wars with purple skin and antenna with eyeballs on them who are holding a laser blaster.
What the actual fuck, I think. I know I'm not high because I stopped smoking before I came here, so my moms won't have anything to say about it.
But there's no way in hell that the s*** that I'm seeing is actually reality right now.
Because if it is, we might need to re-evaluate what reality means to us.
Because aliens are definitely real if that is truly the case. The aliens are talking in a weird language but from their mannerisms, they appear to be arguing.
I think that might be my time to escape, but that hope is soon dashed. As soon as I made the move to get up, they stopped arguing and immediately point their high-tech futurama looking laser blasters at me.
I'm about to get on my knees and start praying the Hail Mary when a massive explosion engulfs the aliens, while simultaneously blasting my unlucky ass over 20 feet backwards with the shockwave, and instantly sending me to dream land.
I wake up on a hotel bed, but I'm not alone. Laying naked on my chest like we are lovers is a stunning tan skinned woman. Her skin is perfectly smooth, without any flaw whatsoever. Her long black hair pools on her back with some of it spilling onto my chest and thighs.
She's sleeping peacefully, as if my body is the most perfect bed in the world.
She wakes up suddenly, and glances down at the engorged and throbbing behemoth that is fully awakened between my loins.
Seeing her gaze, I look away flustered, furthering entirely that she's the weird one, but me.
Instead of disgusted like my mind expected, she looks... pleased?
"My king... It'd be my honor to serve you in... any way you desire..." She says, her voice low and sultry.
I may be a man, but in this situation, it's better to be suspicious. Waking up in an unfamiliar hotel room with a gorgeous woman on you, calling you king while offering to tame your morning wood?
Yeah, I should've been cautious.
But like I said... I'm just a man...
[Chapter End]
(Peeps from future attacking loli chick named Gemini saves the day. Tan girl pic of chick with gun in gallery)