After leaving Seruni Village—which had now been transformed into the largest bread monument in the history of the world of Aethoria—we continued our journey southward. Our destination was the harbor city of Portus Marina. According to Lila's crayon-drawn map, this was the only place where we could obtain a ship to cross the Sea of Regret toward the northern continent, where the "Second Seal" was believed to be located.
However, there was one small problem. A very fundamental one.
"Huueegh…"
I knelt at the edge of a cliff overlooking the sea, vomiting the contents of my stomach (which, thankfully, did not include bread). We hadn't even touched the water yet. We were still five kilometers away from the shoreline, but simply looking at the vast blue expanse rising and falling in the distance was enough to make my sense of balance completely shut down.
"Pathetic," Elena commented, standing beside me with her arms crossed. The sea breeze blew through her blonde hair, making her look like a warrior shampoo commercial model—an extreme contrast to me, who looked like a walking corpse. "Rian, we haven't even boarded a ship yet. You're getting seasick just by looking at the ocean?"
"This… this is a genetic condition, Miss," I replied weakly. "It's called Thalassophobia Visualis. My great-grandfather once slipped in the bathroom, and the trauma was passed down to me."
"What kind of excuse is that?!"
Lila hopped around excitedly beside me. "The sea! The sea! Big Bro Lian, I want to blow up some fish! Can I? Can I?"
"No, Lila. We'll get fined by environmental activists," I said while wiping my mouth.
Lady Seraphina, now wearing a shabby hood to conceal her noble identity, looked at me with concern. "Rian, if you're this weak on land, how are you supposed to survive on a ship for two weeks?"
That was a very good question. A question that immediately made me open the System menu.
"System, please. I need anti-seasickness medicine. Or a helicopter. Or a door that goes anywhere."
[Ding!] [Special Gacha: "Maritime Equipment" available.]
[Cost: 1 Normal Gacha Ticket.]
[Spin?]
"Spin! Now!"
The virtual roulette wheel spun.
[Ding! Congratulations! You have obtained the item: "Seahorse Blinders."]
[Description: Wooden goggles that restrict your vision to straight ahead only. Equipped with a "Land Filter" that alters brain perception, making waves appear as calm green grasslands.]
[Side Effect: You will feel an urge to eat grass.]
I immediately put on the strange goggles. They looked ridiculous—like two wooden tubes strapped to my eyes. But the moment I wore them… magic! The rolling blue sea now looked like a wide, still golf course. My nausea disappeared instantly.
"Wow! The grass looks so fresh!" I exclaimed happily.
Elena slapped her forehead. "Whatever. Let's go. We need to find a ship before sunset."
Portus Marina was the very definition of fishy chaos. The docks were packed with muscular sailors carrying barrels of fish, merchants shouting about magical shells, and aggressive seagulls stealing food straight out of tourists' hands.
We walked through the fish market. The black pan hanging at my waist trembled slightly. A small red eye opened at its base, staring hungrily at a pile of fresh tuna.
"Sssh, Pan. Control yourself. We don't have money to buy tuna," I whispered.
Our main problem wasn't just money (the remains of our dungeon loot had thinned out thanks to Lila "accidentally" blowing up expensive experimental materials), but also our status. Elena and Seraphina's faces were disguised, but Elena's knightly aura was hard to hide. And me? I looked like a madman wearing wooden goggles.
We entered a tavern called The Salty Kraken to gather information. The atmosphere was dark, smoky, and reeked of cheap alcohol.
Elena approached the bar. "We need a ship to the Northern Continent. Immediately."
The bartender—a literal half-man, half-octopus—laughed as he wiped a glass with one of his tentacles. "To the North? Across the Sea of Regret? Are you crazy, Miss? Storm season is starting. No sane captain would sail there. Except…"
"Except who?" Elena pressed.
The bartender pointed to a dark corner of the room. There sat a large man slumped face-down on a table, surrounded by stacks of empty plates.
"Captain Barbarossa. He's the only one with a ship strong enough—the Iron Belly. But he's currently… depressed."
"Depressed?" I asked, adjusting my horse goggles.
"His ship's cook just quit. Couldn't stand his constant complaints. Barbarossa is a food fanatic. He won't sail without good food. And his taste standards are sky-high."
Elena and I exchanged glances. A sly smile slowly formed on her face.
"Rian," she said.
"Don't say it…"
"Kitchen. Now."
I was dragged in front of Captain Barbarossa. The man lifted his head. He had a thick braided red beard, one eye covered with an eyepatch, and… he was crying while holding a spoon.
"Bland… everything is bland…" Barbarossa muttered. "This soup tastes like goblin foot-washing water! What's the point of conquering seven seas if my tongue must suffer?!"
"Ahem," I cleared my throat. "Excuse me, Captain. I heard you're looking for a cook?"
Barbarossa stared at me with his remaining sharp eye. "You? A skinny brat with weird goggles and a… burnt pan? Don't insult me. Even the best cooks in this city have failed to satisfy me!"
"That's because they cook with recipes. I cook with my soul… and a bit of gacha," I replied confidently. "Give me a chance. If my food is bad, you can throw me into the sea."
"And if it's good?"
"Take us to the Northern Continent. Free of charge."
Barbarossa grinned, flashing his gold teeth. "Deal. You have thirty minutes. Kitchen's in the back. Ingredients are your problem."
I immediately ran out with Lila. "Lila, we need the best seafood! Hurry!"
Ten minutes later, we returned carrying a Giant Squid (technically a baby Kraken) that Lila found stranded on the shore (or possibly blew unconscious).
I entered the tavern kitchen. The original cook tried to kick me out, but Elena "convinced" him with a death glare and a slight demonstration of her greatsword.
"Alright, Pan. Time to work."
I placed the black pan on the stove. It heated itself without firewood. It knew. It knew we were about to cook something big.
I sliced the squid's tentacles and tossed them into the pan.
Srenggg!
A powerful ocean aroma filled the kitchen.
"Seasoning… I need something intense."
I opened my System inventory. I still had some Demon Raw Chili Powder left from yesterday's battle. And another item from this morning's daily login: Deep-Sea Oyster Sauce (Extra Umami).
"System, activate Skill: Chaotic Stir-Fry!"
I stirred at extreme speed. The black pan shook itself, helping distribute the seasoning evenly. A faint dark aura leaked from the pan, seeping into the squid meat, giving it a chewy yet deadly texture.
[Corruption Meter: 0.61% → 0.62%]
[Warning: You have infused a small amount of hatred energy into the dish.]
[Side Effect: The food may bite back when eaten.]
"Eh, a little resistance adds flavor," I muttered.
Twenty minutes later, I emerged with a large plate of Hell Oyster Sauce Squid. It was glossy dark red, radiating a spicy, savory aroma so strong that every sailor in the tavern twitched their noses.
I placed it in front of Barbarossa.
"Please, Captain."
Barbarossa stared at the dish. He stabbed a tentacle with his fork. Suddenly, the tentacle wrapped itself around the fork.
"Oh? Food that fights back?" Barbarossa laughed. "Interesting!"
He put it in his mouth and chewed.
Silence.
His face turned red. His eyes bulged. Sweat poured down his forehead. He stayed silent for a full minute.
"Captain?" a crewman asked nervously. "Are you poisoned?"
"BWAAAAAAHHH!!!" Barbarossa roared—not in anger, but in pure ecstasy. Flames burst from his mouth (courtesy of the demon chili).
"SPICY! SAVORY! CHEWY! IT'S LIKE BEING SLAPPED BY THE SEA GODDESS!" he shouted, smashing the table in half. "This… this is a masterpiece! Pain and pleasure as one! I can feel the squid's suffering on my tongue!"
[Ding! Quest Completed: Conquer the Captain's Tongue.]
[Reputation Gained: You are now known as "The Hell Chef."]
"You're hired!" Barbarossa pointed at me. "We depart immediately! And you'll cook this every day!"
But the celebration didn't last long.
Suddenly, the tavern floor shook. The wooden wall exploded outward.
KRAAAKK!
A massive tentacle—this time a real one, as thick as a palm tree—burst into the tavern, flailing as it searched for the source of the aroma.
"What is that?!" Seraphina screamed.
"That's… the mother!" Lila shouted. "The mother of the squid we cooked!"
The scent of the Deep-Sea Oyster Sauce was so strong it had summoned an adult Kraken from the ocean depths.
The monster roared outside the docks. Its enormous eye peeked through the hole in the wall, staring at the plate in front of Barbarossa. It didn't want revenge for its child—it wanted a taste.
"It wants my food!" Barbarossa hugged the plate. "No way! This is mine!"
"Captain! Just give it to her! That's a Kraken!" I shouted.
"NO! Chef, do something!"
Elena had already drawn her sword, slicing a tentacle that reached for the plate. "Rian! The pan!"
I had no choice. "Pan! Big-Eater Mode!"
I threw the black pan toward the Kraken. It floated midair. Suddenly, it expanded—thanks to leftover Expansion Yeast from the previous village. It grew to the size of a car, its mouth opening wide (wait—since when did pans have mouths? Never mind).
It landed on one of the Kraken's tentacles and bit down.
CHOMP!
The Kraken shrieked in shock, yanking its tentacle back—but the pan refused to let go. Instead, it began siphoning the Kraken's life energy, turning it into… broth.
[Pan EXP +500.]
[New Menu Unlocked: Instant Kraken Broth.]
Realizing that the land creatures were far too weird and illogical, the Kraken retreated, tearing off its own tentacle like a lizard shedding its tail, and fled back into the deep sea.
The pan shrank back to normal size and fell into my hands, now filled with thick purple soup that smelled incredible.
Silence filled the tavern once more. Everyone stared at me, then at the pan, then at the severed tentacle wriggling on the floor.
Barbarossa stood up and clapped slowly. "You… cooked that monster alive? You truly are the Hell Chef."
I smiled awkwardly. "That's… molecular gastronomy, Captain."
"Excellent! Everyone aboard! We sail north!" Barbarossa ordered. "And Rian—tonight's menu is Purple Tentacle Soup!"
As we walked toward the docks, I felt Seraphina's gaze. It wasn't fear anymore—but profound confusion.
"Rian," she whispered. "Your pan just now… it grew and had teeth."
"That was an optical illusion, milady. Side effect of the horse blinders," I lied.
But I knew the truth. This pan was no longer just a shield. It was a predator. And I, its master, would have to keep feeding it—before it decided to eat someone else.
We boarded The Iron Belly, a fearsome black iron ship. As it departed the harbor, I looked back. Thanks to my goggles, the waves looked like grasslands, so I didn't vomit.
But in the distance, atop the lighthouse tower, I saw a hooded figure in black. Not Malphas. The figure held a notebook, scribbling something down.
[System Log: Subject Rian has successfully exited Zone 1.]
[Initializing Zone 2: Storm Seas.]
[Difficulty: Hardcore.]
"A sea voyage," I muttered, hugging my overfed pan.
"Let's just hope there are no icebergs."