The infernal water pressure was an experience. It wasn't a gentle rain; it was a high-pressure jet wash, the kind used to strip paint from battleships. Zac had to brace himself against the marble wall to keep from being physically eroded. He appreciated the variety of soaps and shampoos Bune had provided, though. Lined up on a silver shelf were bottles of brimstone-infused body wash, charcoal and obsidian exfoliating scrubs, and, right in the middle, the bottle of Celestial Silk - Mane & Tail Rejuvenator that he had accidentally stolen.
He picked it up, uncorked it, and inhaled the divine scent of vanilla and ego. He considered using it. It smelled incredible. But if Nock's mane was anything to go by, the volumizing effects were potent. Zac did not need the extra volume. It looked good on Nock, though. Everything looked good on the sexy lion man.
By the time Zac stepped out of the shower, he was frustrated all over again. The shower used to be a place of reflection and imagination. He had read once that many great minds in history had their "eureka" moments while bathing, and Zac had always used that knowledge to hyper-charge his R-18 fantasies. But with water pressure equivalent to a fire hose, he had been too busy trying to stay upright to have any profound thoughts, sexual or otherwise. He just felt… very, very clean.
He angrily toweled his hair, wrapping the rough grey cloth around his waist as he walked toward the sinks. "Bune! Do you have a toothbrush I can have? I forgot to pack one!"
He rounded the corner to the bathroom proper and stopped.
Halphas was there, leaning against a marble counter, fixing a camo-patterned baseball cap in the mirror. He was dressed in a pair of baggy camo cargo pants and a tight, white t-shirt that clung to every defined muscle of his chest and arms.
Zac's anger evaporated. He slowed his roll, leaning casually against the doorframe. "Hey, Halphas. You always up this early?"
The eagle looked over, his golden eyes sweeping over Zac's towel-clad form. All traces of his earlier panicked cooing were gone. The confident, cocky jock was back in full force, a smirk playing on his beak.
"Early bird gets the worm, new guy," he drawled.
Zac pushed off the doorframe, a playful smile on his face. He walked over to the sink next to Halphas, leaning on the counter with his elbows. "Tee-hee-hee," he giggled. "So what does the bird do with the worm once he gets it?"
Halphas laughed, a sharp, bird-like bark. "You're a riot, new guy." He walked over, standing close enough for Zac to feel the heat radiating off him. He looked down at the towel-wearing human, his golden eyes filled with a predatory amusement. "And such a tease. If the Captain didn't give the order himself, I'd have already had you cleaning up my loft."
"Oh, you've got a loft?" Zac asked, his voice full of feigned innocence. He leaned back against the counter, looking up at the eagle. "That's pretty cool. Do you work out at home, too? Because I can make sure all your sweaty gym stuff is-"
"Leave the Avatar alone, Halphas."
Bune entered the bathroom, carrying a heavy garment bag. "If I find out you molested the Avatar's delta waves, I will be forced to pull rank and have you reprimanded."
"Ha!" Halphas squawked, turning to face the dragon. "We were all in his dream two nights ago, Bune. If you want to report me, I have witnesses placing you there, too."
"Last night, you dolt!" the dragon huffed. "When Zachary called for me this morning, he was delirious. Someone had tortured him in his sleep."
"What?" Halphas's playful demeanor vanished. He looked suddenly serious. "We're under lockdown. No one's supposed to know he's here."
"Someone might have suspected something was off," Bune mused. "The Captain never misses a battle. His absence would have been noticed."
"We need to find out who it was," Halphas said, his voice hard. "If they spread the word about a virgin Avatar-"
"It was Skarg," Zac said, interrupting them. He held his hands out, palms up. "And toothbrush. I think I have waffle breath. Do I have waffle breath?" He exhaled directly into Halphas's face.
The eagle recoiled, his beak wrinkling in disgust. "Ugh, yeah, you do." With a flick of his wrist and a puff of black smoke and soft grey feathers, a brand-new toothbrush materialized in his hand. He thrust it at Zac. "Here. Go nuts."
"Always with the mess," Bune huffed, before blowing a precise, targeted jet of violet fire at the leftover feathers that were now floating in the air, incinerating them instantly.
Zac beamed at Halphas, taking the toothbrush. "Thank you, sir! Maybe you can summon me something else that goes into my mouth later."
Halphas let out a nervous laugh, watching the human skip off to the sink, completely unbothered. He turned back to Bune. "Kid's a piece of work."
"Furfur," Bune hissed, his voice dropping to a dangerous whisper. "That little bastard. I will chew his ball joints for this. I will grind his antlers into dust."
"Eh, you know how that herbivore is," Halphas chuckled, his good mood returning. "He gets an idea in his head and just plows ahead. Seems like the Avatar is taking everything in stride, though."
Bune looked at the eagle, all four of his eyes wide and serious. "You did not see the Avatar this morning, Halphas. He was… frightening."
Halphas stared blankly at Bune for a solid three seconds. Then he erupted in full-bellied laughter, a loud, raucous series of squawks and barks that echoed off the marble walls. He bent over, clutching his stomach, tears forming in his golden eyes.
Bune looked completely unimpressed, his two heads glaring at the hysterical eagle. "It is not a laughing matter," the Left Head insisted. "He was feral. He lunged right at me, screaming about wanting my-"
Whap.
Halphas slapped Bune hard on the back, still laughing. "That little guy? Scary? Oh, you're too much, Buney-boy! 'Frightening!' Hah!" He wiped a tear from the corner of his eye, his laughter subsiding into wheezing chuckles. "I gotta go log some flight hours. You kill me." Still shaking his head, he sauntered out of the bathroom, leaving Bune fuming.
"You sounded scared enough in the shower!" Bune hissed at the eagle's retreating back.
Zac wandered over, toothbrush in hand, a fresh, minty scent now radiating from him. "Ahh, all fresh. I could probably make out with someone for hours before my breath got bad again." He stopped in front of Bune, looking up at the dragon with a hopeful, expectant expression.
"Now is not the time for that," the dragon man said, shaking both heads with a weary sigh. "It is time to get dressed, Avatar. Your official uniforms have arrived."
Bune held up the heavy garment bag he had been carrying. It was made of a thick, dark fabric, embroidered with a silver, snarling wolf's head.
Zac's eyes lit up. "Ooh. Do I get a cool hat?"