At noon, a red-haired boy was busy in the kitchen.
"Aiyaya..."
Ever since dragging Madara back to the village three days ago, Mizuna hadn't slept well. He was constantly anxious.
"What am I gonna do? I promised Big Bro Madara I'd revive his brother, Izuna. But the System hasn't issued a single mission since then! I only have 750 Dignity Points in my pocket, and the Resurrection Coupons in the shop are sold out. Even if they refreshed, I couldn't afford them..."
Mizuna wanted to cry but had no tears left.
"Come money, money come... RNGsus bless me... Manifesting wealth..."
Mizuna was chanting weird phrases while making hand signs that looked like a prayer ritual, as if doing this would magically spawn a few hundred points in his wallet.
"Mizuna! Hurry up! Your brother-in-law and the others are waiting for us to deliver lunch." Mito interrupted Mizuna's bizarre ritual from the side.
"Okaaay~" Mizuna replied lethargically.
Mizuna, this child... did Madara actually give him brain damage? Mito thought worriedly. All day long he's muttering about 'money come' and bowing three times in every direction. When I asked him, he said it spawns loot in his wallet. The worst part is Hashirama actually believed him and started chanting and bowing too!
The more Mito thought about it, the more stressed she got.
Maybe I should go through the Uzumaki Clan archives. There might be a Jutsu for exorcising evil spirits, she mused.
Suddenly, Mizuna started screaming.
[Ding! Mission Acquired!] The System's voice finally chimed in.
"I knew it! The Heavens have eyes! My prayers worked!"
Floating right in front of Mizuna was the mission panel.
[Mission: The Evil Senju Tobirama! How dare he humiliate me like that! If I, Uzumaki Mizuna, do not get revenge, I am not a man! Please pull a prank on Senju Tobirama.]
[Reward: 500 Dignity Points, 3 White-Tier Lottery Draws.]
"Huh? 'Not a man'? When did I ever say that? System, don't be so unhinged!"
[I am merely stating the true desires of your heart. Do you not want to? Do you really not want to?]
The System's voice circled in Mizuna's ear like the whisper of a devil.
"I want to... of course I want to."
Mizuna barely hesitated before accepting. He thought back to three months ago—the constant surveillance. Eating, sleeping, even taking a dump in the toilet... he felt those eyes watching him.
"You White-Haired Mid-Tier Scrub! Just you wait!"
Mizuna finished packing three bento boxes. He marked them clearly: Madara, Hashirama, and Tobirama.
As he walked down the street, Mizuna suddenly remembered he still had a Black-Tier Lottery Draw he hadn't used yet.
"System! I want to draw!" Mizuna shouted internally without hesitation.
[Ding! Initiating Draw... Congratulations! You obtained: Thousand Demon Daggers (Ninja World Adapted Version).]
"Huh? The Thousand Demon Daggers? am I that lucky? Wait, what does 'Ninja World Adapted' mean?" Mizuna looked at the suffix with confusion.
[It means the requirement to wield it has been changed from Qi to Chakra.]
"That's good and all, but what if someone steals it?" Mizuna asked.
[The requirement to wield it with just Chakra only applies to you. Others would need immense willpower and a murderous aura. If they don't meet the conditions, the demonic blade will consume them, draining their life force until they die.]
[Besides, System items are soul-bound. Even if someone steals it, you can recall it with a single thought.]
"That OP? System-bro, you're the GOAT!"
[Naturally. Who do you think I am?] The System replied proudly.
---
A few moments later, Mizuna arrived at the Hokage Building.
"Evil Uchiha Madara! Why are you here?!"
"I'm here to see Hashirama. It's none of your damn business."
Madara and Tobirama were at each other's throats the moment they made eye contact. The air smelled of gunpowder.
Hashirama sat awkwardly in the middle.
Mizuna walked up to the office door and knocked.
"Brother-in-law! Brother-in-law! I brought food!"
Hashirama let out a sigh of relief seeing his brother-in-law.
"Is that Mizuna? Come in, come in! Hahaha, I'm starving!"
As soon as Mizuna entered, he saw Tobirama and Madara standing nose-to-nose, staring each other down.
"Big Bro Madara, are you guys about to kiss?"
Hearing Mizuna's words, Madara's face turned black and he stepped back in disgust.
Tobirama, however, exploded.
"Why would I kiss a naturally evil Uchiha?! I'm putting this on the record right now! Even if I die alone of old age, or jump out this window right now, I will NEVER like a naturally evil Uchiha!" Tobirama roared.
"Hmph! No Uchiha would be idiot enough to like you either," Madara scoffed coldly.
Little did they know what the future held for their descendants... (Sasusaku/Naruhina).
"Alright, alright, we're all from the same village. No need to fight like this," Hashirama said, playing the peacemaker.
"SHUT UP! ANIJA!"
"SHUT UP! HASHIRAMA!"
The two rivals were surprisingly synchronized.
Hashirama wilted like a dying flower and lowered his head gloomily.
"I am NOT a companion of the naturally evil Uchiha Madara!"
"And I am NOT a companion of the ugly white-haired freak who paints blush on his cheeks!"
"It's WAR PAINT! You naturally evil Uchiha Madara!"
Tobirama's face was bright red, and steam was practically coming out of his ears.
"Heh. Can't handle the pressure? Useless trash," Madara sneered.
"Naturally evil Uchiha Madara! What did you say?!"
Seeing that they were about to throw hands, Mizuna, who had been watching from the sidelines next to Mito (who had arrived with him), finally spoke up.
"Okay, okay! Mid, Big Bro Madara, and Brother-in-law, I brought lunch boxes. Let's eat first."
Tobirama heard "Mid" and didn't realize who it referred to at first. But looking around the room, he realized he was "Mid."
"Mizuna... why am I 'Mid'? What does 'Mid' mean?"
Mizuna didn't answer. He just handed out the bento boxes.
"These boxes contain that special sauce Little Mizuna has been fermenting for two months," Mizuna announced.
Hearing this, Hashirama's eyes lit up.
"Oh! It's that sauce I've been wanting to steal a taste of for ages!" Hashirama whispered excitedly.
Everyone else was speechless.
However, Madara and Tobirama were intrigued.
When Tobirama took his box, he noticed it was quite heavy. Satisfied with the portion size, he decided to ignore the weird nickname for now.
I bet the evil Uchiha Madara's bento isn't as good as mine, Tobirama thought smugly.
Mizuna looked around the enclosed office space. Just as they were about to open the lids, Mizuna shouted:
"Wait!"
"Actually, I came here because I wanted Brother Tobirama to teach me Ninjutsu! We can eat after training. Besides, the food will taste better outside in the fresh air!" Mizuna said urgently.
Hearing this, Tobirama put down the hand reaching for the lid.
"Is that so! Mizuna, you've grown up! Good! Then I will teach you a Jutsu I recently developed: Mutually Multiplying Explosive Tags!"
"I can teach you Fire Style," Madara interjected.
Tobirama shot a glare at Madara. "Evil Uchiha Madara! Don't you dare!"
"Okay! Okay! I heard Big Bro Madara's Fire Style is amazing!" Mizuna said happily.
Hearing this, Madara swallowed the insult he was about to hurl at Tobirama. He just looked at the white-haired Senju with a cold smirk.
"Hmph!" Tobirama scoffed.
Evil Uchiha Madara! If I didn't specialize in Water Style... would you even stand a chance?! Tobirama thought bitterly.
Hashirama, meanwhile, had only heard "it tastes better outside."
"Great! Let's go eat outside! Hahaha!"
Everyone fell silent.
"By the way, Tobirama! You said you invented a new Jutsu? Make sure to add it to the Scroll of Seals," Hashirama added casually.
Tobirama: "......"
---