Chapter 9: Sheldon's Attempt to Create a Meme
After Sheldon's rant subsided, Howard curiously turned to David. "But seriously, David, what were the actual answers to those game questions you asked? Can you really pure-hack through the Medical Deck in System Shock 2? I always had to brute-force everything."
David smiled and answered effortlessly. "For the Water Temple in Ocarina of Time, the key is remembering that the 'high, middle, low' water levels correspond to three main mechanisms, and the sequence is fixed.
First, adjust to middle level to access the bottom mechanism, then after changing the bottom, circle back and adjust the top. For the Metroid speedrun, it's worth detouring for the X-Ray Scope and that extra Super Missile pack—saves way more time in later boss fights.
For System Shock 2's Medical Deck, prioritize upgrading 'Hack' to level 4 for most door access, 'System Hack' to level 3 for turrets and cameras, and 'Weapon Skill' level 1 is sufficient early—it's more cost-effective to temporarily boost it when dealing with security bots."
"Holy crap! That's it!" Howard slapped his thigh. "The X-Ray Scope! I always skipped that! No wonder my speedrun times never improved!"
Raj looked equally enlightened. "Temporary weapon boost... right! Why didn't I think of that cyber module-saving strategy!"
Leonard exclaimed, "David, your game knowledge... are you a savant or have you literally spent half your life gaming?"
Sheldon listened to David's fluent, precise answers and his friends' genuine admiration, his expression growing increasingly sour. He could only cross his arms huffily and turn away.
A few days later, Portal began spreading virally due to its unique charm, rapidly becoming popular across the internet.
The line "The cake is a lie" quickly became the hottest meme due to its incisive commentary and inexplicable catchiness, appearing in forum signatures and chat rooms everywhere.
That afternoon, David headed downstairs to Leonard and Sheldon's apartment. The moment he pushed open the door, Leonard excitedly shouted, pointing at the computer screen. "David! Check this out! You're famous! You created an internet meme!"
The screen displayed a popular gaming forum with several front-page thread titles featuring "The cake is a lie," followed by countless replies riffing on the phrase.
Howard and Raj were also there, both looking impressed.
"Dude, your prediction game is insane!" Howard clapped David's shoulder.
"This phrase is everywhere right now! Literally everywhere!" Raj added excitedly.
Sheldon sat on the couch, holding a thick Quantum Field Theory textbook, pretending not to hear. But his slightly twitching ear and fingers forcefully turning pages betrayed him.
Hearing Leonard's words, he couldn't help but snort without looking up from his book. "An internet meme? Hmph, fleeting and utterly devoid of nutritional value.
Cultural foam. It's merely a quip that coincidentally resonated with mass psychology; its lifespan won't exceed two reproductive cycles of a laboratory fruit fly.
What truly deserves to endure through the ages are foundational physics principles like Noether's Theorem, or mathematical expressions like Schrödinger's Equation—those represent eternal beauty."
Though he tried his hardest to disparage it, the sourness in his tone practically saturated the room.
However, that afternoon, when the friends played World of Warcraft and ran a dungeon together, Sheldon's behavior betrayed him. He was clearly stimulated and began clumsily, deliberately attempting to "create memes" during gameplay.
For instance, when the team was about to engage a boss, he suddenly announced in a deliberately profound tone, "Beware, we are entering the chaotic region of a nonlinear dynamic system, where infinitesimal deviations in initial conditions can produce massive output divergence."
Everyone: "...English, Sheldon."
"It means be careful not to aggro extra mobs," Leonard translated helplessly.
Another example: after successfully defeating an elite enemy, he inexplicably proclaimed, "Observe, this exemplifies emergent behavior under synergy, where collective efficacy transcends the sum of individual contributions.
" Then he added, "That was a truly excellent and memorable summary I just produced; I'm posting it in the strategy section of the game forum."
His awkward, forced attempts finally made his friends realize what he was doing. Howard's eyes gleamed mischievously, deciding to mess with him.
As the party reached a cave entrance, Howard deliberately asked in an exaggerated tone, "Oh! Great leader Leonard! We've now arrived at the entrance of a dark cavern! What should we do next? I require exceptionally classic and instructive guidance!"
Leonard immediately caught on, suppressing laughter, and replied in an extremely flat tone, "Walk in."
Howard, Raj, and David immediately erupted into huge, overly dramatic cheers and applause:
"Wow!!!"
"Walk in!!"
"So classic! That phrase is packed with philosophy and practicality!"
"This should be engraved on every newbie gamer's keyboard!"
"Definitely the best gaming strategy quote of the year! Sheldon, hurry up and write it down for the forum!"
Sheldon's face turned crimson from this sudden, relentless collective mockery. He realized his intentions had been completely transparent and were being mercilessly ridiculed.
In the subsequent boss battle, due to fumbled operations and mistakes causing massive healing pressure on the team, he angrily blurted out an extremely rare and uncharacteristic outburst:
"Raj! Heal faster! Damn it! You fucking heal now!"
This remark, due to his extraordinarily rare profane expletive, instantly hit everyone's funny bone again.
"Hahahaha! Sheldon said 'fucking'!" Howard laughed so hard he nearly fell off his chair.
Raj also cracked up, forgetting to cast: "Oh my God! He's rattled! He actually cursed!"
Leonard dodged boss mechanics while laughing: "Record that! We need to record that! We'll play this clip whenever we're stressed in a raid!"
David added with a grin, "Yeah, 'Sheldon's Emergency Profanity Protocol'—that definitely belongs in a strategy guide. The guide can say: when your team is on the verge of wiping, shout this at your healer; it might work wonders—at minimum it'll make everyone laugh and forget about the wipe."
Sheldon froze, realizing that in his panic, he'd blurted out such 'uncivilized' and 'imprecise' language. He immediately flushed with anger and embarrassment. "That wasn't a protocol! That was an emotional, redundant vocalization!
You... you're not allowed to laugh! Focus on the boss! And that segment must be deleted from all recording devices immediately!"
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