Chapter 17:
We usually think of decisions as something complicated, a balance between reason, emotion, and experience. Something you weigh carefully before choosing.
This was not one of those decisions.
This was a decision I didn't want to make at all.
I woke up that morning with Lily's fist on my face.
Literally, one punch, and I was awake.
I knew it was going to be a decisive day. It was our last one, and I wanted to make the most of it. But my mind was split in two, Matt on one side, Jack on the other. Two invitations. One choice. I hadn't told Lily yet because I was scared she would say the obvious.
The whole class went with the teachers to visit the temple, which was the main reason for the trip. To learn, they said. To understand why people kept coming back to places like this.
The guide explained that it all started with a rumour. Someone claimed they had prayed by a small river beside the temple and had their prayer answered. People came. Then more people came. Eventually, the landowner turned it into a business—charging entry, selling bottled river water.
And somehow, over time, the place became sacred.
People didn't come anymore because they believed their prayers would be answered. They came because being there made them feel better. Comforted. Reassured. Even when nothing changed, the feeling, the hope was enough. Enough to let go.
As the guide spoke, I stopped listening to his voice and started listening to myself.
Where do I find comfort?
The answer hit me so suddenly it almost hurt. I think I had always known. I just didn't know how to reach it.
Maybe this ground really was working.
When the teacher announced our free time and told us to meet back at the bus in two hours, Lily immediately pulled out the schedule she had planned for us. I barely glanced at it before apologizing and running off.
I knew exactly what I wanted, who I wanted.
The moment I saw Jack, everything else disappeared. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
"I love you. And I miss you so much," I blurted out. "If there's one thing I learned, it's that I care about you more than I realized. I was hurting you, and I didn't want that. So I stepped back. I never experienced this before, so I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to hurt anyone else, but I miss you. I needed you to know that. I am so sorry, Jack."
He took my hand immediately and led me somewhere quieter. My heart was pounding so hard I could hear it in my ears. He didn't look at me for what felt like forever.
The silence was heavy. I thought:" Am I too late? Did he not like me anymore?"
Then, finally, he turned.
"Can you say that again?"
"I miss you and I—"
"After that," he interrupted softly, coming closer to me.
My face burned. My voice trembled.
"I… love you, Jack."
He looked at me then. Really looked at me. His Blue eyes locked onto mine, steady and intense. Slowly, deliberately, he stepped closer, cupped my face with his hands, and kissed me.
It was slow. Certain. Warm.
And without thinking, I followed.