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"I can't really eat anymore... It's big fish and big shrimp every single day. It's so unhealthy. I feel like I've put on some weight lately."
Inside the small, humid Seaside hut, Wakasagihime let out a heavy sigh as she looked down at the large, dripping wicker basket of fresh seafood she had harvested from the ocean today. Eating this same rich diet every day was truly becoming physically unbearable; she no longer wanted to even look at these massive, plump fish that would practically ooze fat and oil the moment they were put into a hot frying pan.
Since Kagerou Imaizumi hadn't returned from her watering duties on the farm yet, Waka was alone. She dug a flexible fabric tape measure out of a wooden junk box, carefully wrapped it around the thickest part of her scaly tail, glanced down at the number on the scale, and couldn't help but sigh again.
The slender tail she had finally managed to slim down back in Gensokyo—primarily because there was absolutely nothing good to eat there—had grown fat again in Stardew Valley. And it was a vengeful, aggressive rebound at that; her waistline was now a whole circle wider than before.
Depressed, Waka stroked her large, heavy tail, tossed the tape measure back into the box, and lay completely flat on her back on the wooden floorboards. She took a very deep breath, steeling herself.
Maintaining her upper body in a rigid, flat position against the floor, Waka gritted her teeth and struggled to lift her massive tail using only her core muscles, raising it until her lower body was at a strict 90-degree angle with her upper body. Then, she let it down, completing a single, agonizingly slow, standard core weight-loss exercise.
However, her muscles gave out on the descent. When she let it down, it was a complete, uncontrolled freefall, and her heavy tail hit the wooden floorboards with a loud, rhythmic thud.
Slap! Slap! Slap!
Outside, Leo, who had practically sprinted all the way over from the farm, heard the rhythmic, wet, slapping commotion coming from inside the hut. His hand, which was just about to knock on the door, froze awkwardly in mid-air.
It wasn't that his head was inherently full of dirty, degenerate thoughts, but the muffled sound echoing through the thin wooden door was just too... similar. He really wasn't trying to think the wrong way, but the internet had ruined him.
After a moment's logical thought, however, Leo shook his head and knocked on the door with confidence. He was the only adult male residing in the entire Stardew Valley; no matter what suspicious sound was being made inside, it couldn't possibly be that kind of thing.
"Mr. Leo? Please wait a moment!"
Waka, who was sweating heavily from her core exercises, stopped her movements upon hearing the knock. She scrambled up, smoothed her hair, and hurriedly opened the door. The person knocking simply had to be Mr. Leo; none of those feral people from Gensokyo ever bothered to use a front door. Sometimes, forget the door—the whole damn house might get blown up by various unidentified magical AOE attacks just to say hello.
(Looking at you, black-and-white rat!)
"Is something the matter, Mr. Leo? Did Kagerou not come back with you?"
Opening the door wide and politely inviting Leo inside, Waka poked her head out to look around the empty beach. She didn't see her roommate Kagerou anywhere, which was a bit strange given the time of day.
"Miss Imaizumi was asked by me to get familiar with her new job up at the Secret Forest lake. I'm looking for you for something else entirely."
Stepping inside, Leo's eyes immediately locked onto the massive, overflowing wooden bucket of fresh seafood sitting in the corner of the humid hut. He swallowed hard, suddenly becoming a bit sheepish. These were all premium, deep-water goods that could only be found on the actual seabed, not the low-tier, RNG-dependent forage goods he could find while beachcombing on the shore.
A spiny lobster as long as an adult man's arm was clicking its claws against the wood. Leo looked at the terrifying, armored fellow and felt a genuine twinge of fear; if they actually got into a physical fight, he might not even be able to beat this lobster in hand-to-hand combat. One solid flip of its muscular tail could probably send him to the Harvey Clinic to sleep.
There was also a thick, writhing moray eel long enough to be used as a leather belt, massive Scallops the exact size of his palm, and large, glittering deep-sea fish he didn't even recognize but looked absolutely delicious. Leo's eyes were practically glazing over as he stared, drool threatening to pool in the corner of his mouth.
"These seafood items... could you sell me some? I can trade raw money or premium farm produce for them. I noticed that your little shop app on the phone doesn't sell these specific things."
The "Sister Wolf and Sister Fish's Little Shop" run by Waka and Kagerou currently only sold non-perishable dried goods. Fresh, violently thrashing seafood like this, which could literally jump up and slap you across the face, wasn't available for delivery. Leo would occasionally order some Dried Scallops or dried seaweed to put in the soup pot to add umami flavor when cooking, but no matter how great the quality of dried goods was, they were simply never as good as fresh, raw ingredients.
"Oh, these?" Waka blinked, looking at the bucket with profound disdain. "They're just worthless things I picked up. If you want them, Mr. Leo, just take them all. Just give me a few jars of pickles or some fresh, crunchy vegetables in return."
This was the absolute difference in regional upbringing. To Leo, who had lived his entire life in a landlocked city since childhood, the premium ocean seafood he couldn't get his hands on was considered a priceless luxury. But in Waka's eyes, it was just worthless, tiresome, greasy cheap goods she was sick of eating. Conversely, the crisp, fresh vegetables and salty pickles from Leo's farm had a unique, wonderful, and highly sought-after flavor to her palate.
The barter deal was struck smoothly. Leo didn't want to make another long trip back to the farm to fetch the items, so he simply opened his own app interface, ordered 10 heavy jars of artisan pickles and a whole massive bunch of fresh spring vegetables from his own shop inventory, and had them magically delivered.
He left Waka staring in a complete daze at the pile of glowing, magical produce that materialized on her floor.
The produce from Leo's farm was strictly divided into three quality and price tiers. The most common, non-star produce was cheap and had the widest audience in Gensokyo—after all, not all grassroots youkai could afford premium starred ingredients; having anything at all to eat was good enough to prevent starvation. Silver-star and gold-star ingredients were incredibly expensive, high-end luxury goods that only Great Youkai like Yukari or Eirin could afford to eat daily. Grassroots youkai like Waka and Kagerou usually only ever ate ordinary, non-star ingredients.
But what Leo had just ordered and dumped on her floor were all the absolute highest-grade, gold-star ingredients. Their flawless, glowing appearance and intense aroma alone were entirely incomparable to ordinary vegetables.
"It's too much, too much! Mr. Leo, these things are incredibly expensive! They're just worthless seafood; they absolutely aren't worth this much!"
Panic set in, and Waka hurriedly waved her hands to stop him, trying to push the glowing vegetables back.
But Leo shook his head firmly and pushed all the premium ingredients right back toward her chest.
"It's worth it! It's very much worth it! You're just used to eating them, but to me, these things are priceless—they are top-tier ingredients that were far, far beyond my reach with my old monthly salary of 2,500 yuan. If you have more of these fresh catches in the future, you can sell them all directly to me. I'll take as much as you have, every single day!"
While the two adults were politely, aggressively declining each other's offers inside the humid hut, Flandre, who had quietly followed Leo's dust trail all the way from the farm, had finished listening to everything while crouching under the open window.
"So it's just fish." Flandre pouted, crossing her arms. "You gave me a fright; I thought there was actually someone in this world more attractive than Flandre."
But... does Big Brother really like eating fish that much?
The four Flandre clones squatted on the sand in a tight circle, their little blonde heads pressed together as they began a rapid, chaotic brainstorming session.
Flandre remembered that there seemed to be some massive, ancient stock left at home. That specific, terrifying fish, which was physically bigger than her, had been thrown aside in disgust after they tried to eat it once. Everyone in the mansion had unanimously voted that it didn't taste good at all; the meat was tough and weird. Sakuya had even been deeply depressed for a whole day because everyone thought her cooking was unpalatable.
That massive fish had been locked away in a magical stasis barrier in the deepest part of the kitchen freezer ever since, entirely untouched even when there was absolutely nothing left to eat during the worst winters in Gensokyo.
If she gave this legendary, massive fish to Big Brother, she should definitely get some praise and headpats... No sooner said than done. Flandre pulled out her glowing Stardew Valley ID Card, swiped it through the air to open a localized portal, and returned directly to Gensokyo.
She materialized outside the Scarlet Devil Mansion and immediately began scaling the sheer brick wall directly toward the second floor.
Who among decent, efficient people uses the front door? Teacher Keine had clearly taught them in school that the absolute shortest distance between two points is a straight line. Flandre locked onto the kitchen's spatial location, flew up after scaling the wall, and entered the kitchen directly by shattering the stained-glass window.
Although her infiltration movements weren't as smooth or skilled as the professional thief Marisa Kirisame's, they were still quite respectable for a vampire.
Clatter!
"Second Miss?!"
Sakuya Izayoi, who was peacefully cooking dinner in the kitchen, instantly retracted her silver throwing knives with a flick of her wrists. When the glass shattered, she had assumed it was that annoying rat Marisa coming to steal ingredients again. The lethal knives had already been thrown at the intruder's neck, and it was only after seeing it was the Second Miss who had returned that Sakuya was forced to use her Time Stop ability to frantically pluck her own knives out of the frozen air before they decapitated Flandre.
"Sakuya, Sakuya! Where's that big, nasty fish we had before? Quick, give it to me, I have a use for it!"
Flandre ignored the frozen knives. She reached out, grabbed a freshly steamed Rice Cake Sakuya had prepared on the counter, and popped it whole into her mouth. The rich, sweet aroma of the rice and the fluffy texture made Flandre squint her crimson eyes in delight.
She then picked up the elegant porcelain teapot of black tea Sakuya had meticulously prepared for her older sister, Remilia, and took a massive, undignified direct swig right from the spout.
Burp~~ "Delicious."