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He chatted with Yuuka Kazami on the sunlit shore for over half an hour. It was mostly Leo talking animatedly about his detailed farm planning, crop rotation, and future artisan output. Yuuka was the type who possessed terrifying power but naturally spoke very little; she spent most of the time listening quietly, her parasol resting on her shoulder, only softly asking a question or two when a specific agricultural concept piqued her interest.
Yuuka was actually quite interested in the specific brewing process for the flower tea and the various flower-based artisan foods Leo mentioned he planned to produce. She wasn't like those fanatical, neurotic environmental protection groups back on Earth who would aggressively fight you to the death just for touching a wild flower.
Her ancient, practical attitude toward flowers had always been that legitimate, respectful use was perfectly fine—whether they were harvested as gifts, cultivated as bonsai, or even processed into food and tea—as long as they were appreciated and weren't maliciously wasted or trampled.
Her terrifying wrath mainly targeted those arrogant Great Youkai who would start destroying things or firing wide-range, explosive magical attacks at the slightest provocation. For instance, if Marisa Kirisame failed to control the recoil direction of her Master Spark Magic Cannon and accidentally gave the sacred Sunflower Field a scorched 'middle part' haircut with a stray blast, that little sticky-fingered witch would be in for a world of absolute, unmitigated pain.
After chatting peacefully a bit longer, a massive, crashing commotion came from the nearby woods.
An unidentified, terrifying creature entirely covered in thick brown mud and dead leaves, looking exactly like a swamp monster that had just rolled around in a fresh mudslide, charged out from the tree line.
The creature was so completely filthy that Leo couldn't even tell what expensive animal the Little Fairies were riding at first glance. He could only barely recognize it as a pig from the frantic, high-speed movement of its four short legs and its distinctive squeal.
But where was his pink, tender, pristine little piglet that had just arrived clean at the farm this morning?! What was this giant, disgusting mud ball?! Had it magically learned the 'Wild Boar Adaptive Armor' defensive skill at such a young age?!
"Yahoo! First place!"
The Little Fairy riding the beast, who was just as thoroughly coated in dripping brown mud, cheered triumphantly.
Then, under Leo's absolute, heart-stopping gaze of pure horror, the fairy steered the muddy piglet and charged straight into the pristine, magical clear lake water.
SPLASH!
The mirror-like, glowing surface of the lake instantly turned violently turbid. Thick, yellowish-brown mud slowly spread outward like a toxic bloom, muddying a massive area of the sacred water. Before Leo could clutch his chest and literally die of a stress-induced myocardial infarction, several other squealing, pig-riding Little Fairies burst from the trees, followed suit, and dive-bombed directly into the lake.
Leo's fragile farmer heart, which had been desperately hanging by a thin thread of sanity, finally died.
"So refreshing!"
The first Little Fairy to enter the water climbed happily onto the grassy shore, dragging her now-clean pig behind her. She then began scrubbing the remaining stubborn grime off its ears by the lakeside. They had charged through the dense woods too fast and had accidentally tumbled head-first into a deep mud puddle; they had picked up quite a bit of forest debris along the way, which was why they looked like actual swamp monsters.
"Yo, Leo... Farewell!"
Flying high in the sky, Aya Shameimaru had just arrived to document the finish line. She was about to cheerfully greet Leo when she spotted Yuuka Kazami standing serenely right beside him, looking directly up at her with crimson eyes.
Aya decisively banked hard to flee. She had printed and spread quite a few highly profitable, slanderous rumors about Yuuka in her Bunbunmaru News—things like claiming the fertilizer beneath the Sunflower Field was entirely made of buried youkai corpses, that Yuuka had a creepy, special fondness for kidnapping children, or that the Yuuka Kazami we see now is actually a fake clone and the real one is sleeping in Mugenkan. If she got caught by the Flower Master now, she'd be brutally beaten to death and her camera smashed into powder.
"Come down. I won't hit you today."
Aya, who was just about to use her ultimate wind-manipulation move to speed away past the sound barrier, heard Yuuka's calm words and looked back suspiciously over her shoulder. Seeing that the terrifying woman made no other aggressive move and simply leaned on her parasol, Aya cautiously and slowly descended, her black wings fluttering nervously.
"I lied! Once you come down, I'm gonna beat you to death!"
Watching Aya edge closer sideways like a frightened crab, Leo suddenly shouted up at her to scare the reporter.
WHOOSH!
"...Is she always that fast?"
Leo gazed into the empty, distant sky, somewhat dazed, his hair blown back by the sudden gale-force wind. The exact millisecond he finished speaking his joke, Aya Shameimaru had vanished from the spot. By the time he physically reacted and looked up, she was completely nowhere to be found, having broken the sound barrier in her panic.
"Yes, the fastest in Gensokyo. In terms of pure flight speed, truly no one can beat her. By the way, the fastest runner on the ground is that half-ghost Gardener from Hakugyokurou."
Yuuka looked at Leo with some profound helplessness, sighing softly. Among the ancient Great Youkai, except for Yukari Yakumo whose spoken words are as untrustworthy as farts in the wind, the others are generally quite credible and bound by honor. If Yuuka explicitly said she wouldn't hit Aya today, she really wouldn't. She wouldn't break her word, no matter how outrageous the fake news claims the crow had published today.
But tomorrow, you'd better pray you can hide well.
No longer paying attention to the literal 'startled bird' who had fled the time zone, Leo looked back at the piglets being scrubbed clean by the fairies. He could only comfort his aching wallet by telling himself that free-range pigs that ran around getting extreme cardio like this every day would surely build incredible muscle tone and taste much better when harvested.
Then he looked at the sheep trotting out of the woods.
From his childhood until the day he transmigrated, Leo had a few simple, humble culinary wishes. One was to be wealthy enough to eat an entire, massive grilled fish all by himself; he had proudly achieved this milestone after getting his first real corporate paycheck. A grilled Catfish at the night market was 28 yuan; having a small, personal barbecue every three days with some cold side dishes was a wonderful, achievable modern luxury.
Another deep wish was to eat premium, thick-cut mutton in large, satisfying mouthfuls. When the market price was cheap, it was thirty or forty yuan a catty, and when expensive during the holidays, it was nearly fifty—a junior office worker simply couldn't afford to gorge on it. Leo only ever dared to order three meager, heavily spiced mutton skewers at a time to satisfy his intense cravings; they were 3 yuan a skewer, and the actual meat on the stick was cut as small as playing dice.
As for other wishes, there was eating a massive, whole grilled squid on a stick. This was a bit pricey at 15 yuan for a whole squid skewer; it wasn't huge, but it was okay as a rare treat. Unfortunately, the local stall later raised the price to an outrageous 20 yuan a skewer. Just like a large plastic bottle of iced black tea rising from 4 to 5 yuan overnight, this was an absolute, unforgivable sin against the working class, and he swore a blood oath and never ate at that specific stall again.
The absolute biggest downside for kids growing up landlocked in Luoyang was that fresh seafood was not only incredibly, prohibitively expensive, but also never actually fresh by the time it was trucked in. When he had briefly visited the coastal city of Beihai in Guangxi before, the large, fresh oysters right off the docks there were an unbelievable 10 yuan for a massive plate of 12, each one fat, juicy, and perfectly fresh. There were also strange peanut worms, large sweet shrimp, and massive crabs; he was moved to actual tears of culinary envy.
The more he thought about those coastal prices and flavors, the more he salivated, his stomach giving a loud, embarrassing rumble.
Leo immediately bid a hasty farewell to Yuuka and stepped back onto the glowing stones, taking the teleportation array back to the Hero's Hut. Since the Little Fairies were enthusiastically looking after the animals' cardio regimen, he didn't care about the mud anymore. The absolute most important thing right now was... seafood.
Crafting wooden crab traps was completely unnecessary; those ancient, passive Stardew Valley seafood catching methods were terribly inefficient and relied on RNG. What era was this? Why use traditional, slow crab traps when he had a professional, magical, underwater harvester living on his farm?
He could guarantee the seafood brought up would be absolutely, terrifyingly fresh—after all, it would have been physically fighting his harvester in hand-to-hand combat just a second ago.
Although Wakasagihime was a bit of a physical weakling on land and couldn't even beat the legendary Fish King in a tug-of-war, it was an absolute, one-sided, magical curb-stomp against ordinary, non-sentient ocean seafood.
Charcoal-grilled oysters, heavy garlic butter Scallops, crispy deep-fried hairtail, spicy chili large shrimp, and expensive things he'd only ever seen rich people eat in mukbang videos like razor clams and massive lobsters—he wanted to try them all today!
"Big Brother! You... actually ignored Flandre! Flandre is angry!"
Back at the farm, the four Flandres were leaning heavily against the wooden fence, their chins resting on the top rail. They had been watching the fluffy yellow chicks and had seen Leo return through the teleport. They had opened their mouths, wanting to eagerly ask if they could carefully hold a chick to play with.
But a drooling, manic Leo just waved his hand dismissively without speaking a single word. He frantically rummaged through a wooden storage chest on the porch for a while, grabbed a heavy bunch of crafting materials and a fishing rod, and sprinted wildly out of the southern farm gate toward the Beach.
All four Flandres puffed out their pale cheeks together in unison, crossing their arms. Very well, Big Brother, you have successfully caught Flandre's attention.
The four vampires looked at each other, nodding grimly. They used their short legs to march purposefully, following Leo's dust trail down the dirt path. They wanted to see exactly what could possibly be more attractive than their incredibly cute selves, making Big Brother not even have the time to speak to Flandre.