It was weird, you know?
To act as if nothing happened, not that it didn't come to him naturally. After all, Sunless was a liar, so what's a truth among a life full of lies? Playing a role, one of a child that didn't break down that afternoon. That didn't cry nor ask for help.
Maybe it was easier that way, to hide himself once more after embracing the light by himself for the first time.
A moth flying too close to a burning forest, afraid of the newfound warmth.
A fact that he couldn't deny, a flaw to his reality.
But it didn't matter, right? Since it never happened. The feelings were engraved in him, from the exhaustion of his eyes to the hand that got to touch him. The words, the stories, and the help that was proposed to him. All were extremely detailed but not as a part of his inner world.
Oil and water—it was logical for him to reject that sin.
Weakness.
And yet, the seed of doubt had been sown, eroding his unwavering certaintly. That the sewer was where he belonged.
The next day, Jeanne came back...but not alone.
Behind her, almost as if she tried to hide herself, was Nephis. At first he couldn't see her face, but since she was the only child he had seen in here, he had no trouble figuring out that puzzle.
And even if he was wrong… it wouldn't matter.
Still tired from the event that never happened, he could only trust Jeanne to protect him.
Trusting her…
'Giving it a chance… to them…'
It was stupid.
Trust needs leverage to force the other to not act.
A thought was coming back. One he kept pushing back again and again, and it was getting harder each time.
Why would they try that hard to gain his trust?
Of course, there are always people that love to crush others' hopes at the worst time. That was something that Sunless got to see too many times…
But the opportunity was already gone, cast into nothingness to be forgotten. That wicked game was supposed to end yesterday; it would have their best shot..
So why?
They had no other reason to not use the "I wanted to betray you from the beginning" card until now… And the more they wait to use it, the more the seed grows.
That day, Nephis didn't speak a word, sitting near the windows with a bag containing her food for the time of her visit. Which was only made of dessert. Snacking on the dry ones little by little, before turning her attention to something made with cream at noon...only to return to her dry biscuit afterward.
The noise she made while eating was surely what made it most awkward.
Jeanne had tried multiple times that day to engage in a conversation on any topic. But her efforts were met only with silence from both sides. One was acting as if she wanted to analyze every reaction she would get from the boy... And the other? He was pleading his case in silence.
Talking to Jeanne was simple.
Because she seemed to be aware of how important some subjects are and how to dodge them.
She was far more present now than before and was expressing her mind without restraint, even if it meant scolding him. It was weird to have her pointing out his bad thoughts and even weirder since Nephis was watching it in silence.
But Nephis? Their only words shared were close to an oath to hate each other.
Why would a rat talk to a killing machine?
And so, to his utmost displeasure, she only left when the sun had no more light to share. Standing up slowly, putting back the chair where it was beforehand, and leaving the room with her empty bag. Without saying a word throughout the day.
What was that? A silent interrogation or something? Or maybe she was seeing him as a way for her to amuse herself?
Unfortunately for him…
Nephis was back again the next day...and all the days after.
Returning to her place near the windows, seated with her bag, and watching him in silence.
Jeanne's attempts to establish a conversation between them became rare, with only one or two on the last day.
After all, that day was marking the end of his forced stay with them. It would become his choice if he comes to not leave their side.
Sunny had thought that, maybe, he would have to share his choice in front of everyone.
All those people… around that round table.
But no, Jeanne was the one asking, in his room. With only her and him.
And Nephis, of course.
Still silent since day 1 of her observation, Sunny had almost forgotten her presence. Doing his best to keep her out of his line of sight.
-"Your choice. I will accept. Whatever it is."
Even if she said so, her tired golden eyes were trying their best not to show anything.
They failed.
She was praying in silence. That he wouldn't refuse their "help." If viewing them as liars and manipulators was easy for most of the residents of this manor, especially for Ashe, he couldn't say the same for Plume and, more importantly… Jeanne.
-"…"
The afternoon that never happened…
Even if it was something he was trying to reject by any means, there were words and tears that couldn't truly be ignored.
His mom had educated him as such.
He didn't want to betray her morals, even if it made his life harder to keep.
Adding the fact that… in his mind, that choice now was his moment to actually do something right. To not let down everyone he knew like he did until that very instant.
To try and do the best things to do, to not be a disappointment.
So his answer from before, for his entire life… he couldn't say that he was sure of it.
A child stuck between his duty and his needs, while unsure of which is which. Unable to form a word that would impact his entire life.
Some kids in the Outskirts would have already made a choice, but not him.
Because her eyes were speaking far more than she ever said herself.
Normally, he wouldn't be able to decipher it, but she was open with him about her feelings... and her wish for him. Hiding words from her soul through a transparent glass. All of which were empty attempts to keep faces.
To stay safe.
To be in good health.
To eat correctly.
To not be alone anymore.
To give her a chance…
No, that's not it.
She was trying too hard to hide her most sincere and precious wish at this instant.
For him…
…
To give a chance to himself.
That was too much for him to endure, turning his head away in attempts to flee those untold words. The culmination of all this was too much for his mind.
Praying for an executioner to give a chance to live, for a fire victim to trust in its wrath once more. How can what's broken be repaired when all that's left is dust and sorrow?
A mirror that got smashed too many times, to a point where you can't even see your own reflection.
And she wanted what…?
He needed time.
-"If you can't make your choice, let me do it for you."
The girl had talked.
The same girl that didn't share a word for an entire week was speaking to him, who had forgotten her presence altogether.
Her face was lacking something, the very thing that helps us differentiate humans from the dolls.
The dead from the living.
A lack of life—of facial expressions.
Onyx meeting Grey.
Grey guiding Onyx.
-"The simple fact that you're hesitating is proof of your will to stay. Stop wasting both our time because any more seconds of silence taken will be seen as an approval of my remark. Anything to say?"
Sunless was stupefied. And so was Jeanne, since her calm and controlled breathing had stopped. Pivoting his head just slightly, he was now able to confirm that fact.
Her eyes were now wide open. Not out of fear or rage…just surprise.
A second of silence.
Another one.
The girl then stood up.
-"Since you didn't object like you did at the last reunion, I take it that we will do things my way since you're unable to make the choice by yourself for now."
Then Jeanne had finally recovered from this sudden change of attitude.
-"Nephis. Ask before? To Ashe?"
-"Nope. But I don't need to; you know her answer as well as I do, right, Jeanne?"
-"..."
-"I'll take my luggage like usual."
On that note, the girl then simply walked out of the room with her bag of food. Sunless couldn't even fight against her reasoning; every second here was like accepting the offer.
To stay with them.
The lack of answer he was stuck in was finally an answer he gave without realizing it.
Was he that weak?
To give in like this?
What followed was blurry, after all… a mind stuck somewhere else can't really see what's in front of it.
He got dressed in a weird attire, covering more skin than society generally had to. And what were these boots? He would normally be at the same height as Nephis if she wasn't also wearing the same type of shoes.
The PTV was waiting outside.
His first time seeing the mountains around the manor without looking through his window.
An animal discovering the world while moving from his cage to another.
-"Where are we going?"
The question wasn't directed toward anyone in particular. With only Jeanne on standby near him, everyone else was moving around. She stood silent, forcing the matriarch to answer his question:
-"We don't talk about it out loud."
Another change…
The sewer was somewhere far from here, but now, it would surely get even more distant, surely unreachable. Maybe if he ran now, he would be able to get back there...
But he stood still, resting beside the only figure that gave him a sense of security. One that he was always doubting to be fake, but it was for more than he had before, right?
'Mom…Dad… What should I do?'
A thought led to another.
The thought turned into a memory.
His surroundings faded away, as Sunny was now watching his old home in his mind. Someone was there, a man… No, a woman? Everything was blurry; her hair was ever-changing, turning black, then brown, and ending up blonde, only to change once more in another cycle. It was as if even the woman herself had forgotten what she used to look like.
Nothing was fixed. From her height to the color of her skin, even her hairstyle kept morphing. But only one thing seemed to stay the same.
Two beautiful ████ eyes were watching.
Her expression went from surprised to █████████ as if she was watching something i-...
The memory of what he had seen was already withering away when Sunny came to his senses, like a dream at dawn.