[WARNING: The Protagonist is a Certified Scumbag]
Rain poured down on the academy grounds, soaking the leaves and creating a dull rhythm against the window.
Inside the quiet classroom, a heavy sigh broke the silence.
Revan von Alstaire stared blankly at the rain sliding down the glass. In his head, a bitter thought played on repeat.
'Those at the top will always trample on those at the bottom. The cruel law of nature. A hierarchy that cannot be denied.'
It wasn't just philosophy. It was his reality, every single second.
The back row. The ignored corner. This was where low-ranking nobles like him were forced to sit. Meanwhile, the rich kids sat in the front with straight backs and arrogant glares.
Revan sighed again. The title von behind his name meant nothing here. A noble without power, without influence...
BANG!
A hard kick slammed into his chair from behind.
Revan was thrown forward, his forehead nearly hitting the desk. Pain shot up his back. Some students giggled. The others pretended to be blind and deaf.
"Get up, von Alstaire," a cold voice sneered. "You're blocking my view."
Revan turned around slowly.
'Oh, look at this. A classic bully scene? Three idiots beating someone up just because they are bored?' Revan thought cynically.
The culprit was Erison van Caldris.
Revan narrowed his eyes. Erison was a powerful noble from the Caldris Family. He was the fourth son of Duke Alaric.
Revan looked straight into Erison's yellow eyes. Eyes that lacked the sharpness of his three genius brothers. Erison was just trash stuck in Class A, seeking validation by crushing the weak.
'Yeah, an idiot. A side character written just to help the MC grow,' Revan analyzed. 'Usually, the MC would fight back now, or a heroine would save him. Tsk... just my luck.'
Revan glanced around the silent room.
'There is no MC here. Everyone is silent. The only thing I can do is shut up.'
Seeing Revan smile faintly, Erison snapped.
"What are you smiling at with that ugly face, you bastard!"
In an instant, Revan was on the floor. Erison and his two lackeys kicked and stomped on him without mercy.
Revan didn't fight back. He curled up, protecting his vitals, accepting the pain in silence. Blood mixed with saliva dripped onto the floor.
Four minutes.
It took four whole minutes for them to get bored.
The green-haired lackey laughed, pointing at Revan. "Heh, this look suits you perfectly, you lowborn trash!"
The blue-haired one spat on Revan's hair. "Puih."
Erison smiled mockingly. "If I were you, with a face that ugly, I'd cut off my own dick and kill myself."
Satisfied, the three of them walked away as if nothing had happened.
Revan lay on the cold floor, wiping blood from his lips. His eyes stared at their backs with hidden sharpness.
'What do you mean by ugly, you country bumpkin scumbags?' Revan cursed internally.
'Okay, fine. Out of the three, only Erison is somewhat handsome. But the rest? I don't even know the names of those two NPCs.'
Revan tried to stand up, clutching his aching stomach.
'They should look in a mirror. That blue-haired guy looks like a pig. The only way he's getting a wife is if he kidnaps her parents.'
Revan looked at the green-haired one in the distance.
'And him... good lord. People say he's handsome? To me, his face looks like a nutsack. That's the first time I've seen someone that ugly.'
After they left, Revan stood up. He dusted off his black shirt, trying to fix whatever dignity he had left.
He looked around the class.
Silence.
The students only glanced at him coldly, then looked away. As if Revan was just a piece of furniture that fell over.
Revan snorted.
'I'm sure God is cursing me.'
Actually, there was a reason. Karma exists.
Before becoming "Revan von Alstaire," the noble trash of this world, he was a 34-year-old Japanese. A hard-working salaryman who died in the most ridiculous way in the history of reincarnation.
Cause of death? Slapped by a high school girl.
Yes, really. Slapped.
In his past life, he was "Public Enemy Number One" for women. He had no filter. He always spoke his mind without caring about social norms.
He remembered that night clearly.
10 PM. A packed Tokyo train. He was exhausted. Standing in front of him was a high school girl.
Revan wasn't a pervert. But that girl... she had assets that defied logic. They weren't just big. They were massive. It made Revan's tired brain stop working.
Unconsciously, his mouth moved on its own.
"Hey, beautiful. You know, you'd look even prettier if you showed off those big boobs with pride."
Silence. The whole train stopped breathing.
Revan was speaking from a pure aesthetic perspective—or so he thought. But his hand moved on its own, driven by scientific curiosity, and grabbed them.
SLAP!
A hard slap landed on his cheek.
The world spun. Darkness took over.
Maybe she had superpowers, or maybe Revan was just too weak from overtime work. But that slap sent his soul straight to the afterlife.
When he woke up, he was a crying baby named Revan.
As if dying a stupid death wasn't bad enough, fate had a twisted sense of humor.
Revan didn't reincarnate into a random world. He was trapped inside the game he hated the most.
[Legends of Valtheris: The Royal Academy].
A trash game with the most cliché storyline ever created.
The premise sounded epic: Five Great Kingdoms, magic swords, and powerful wizards. But the main plot was incredibly stupid.
In this game, the apocalypse doesn't come from a Demon King invasion or a dark god. No. The total destruction of the world is triggered by "emotional time bombs" inside one school: The Royal Academy Aethelgard, located in the Kingdom of Valtheris.
The elite students here—the so-called geniuses—are walking vessels for ancient disasters. If they get their hearts broken or fall into despair, they turn into monsters that destroy the world.
The fate of billions depends on teenage romantic drama. If the Protagonist fails to make the Heroines happy, the world ends.
"What a stupid plot..." Revan muttered.
And guess who he became?
Revan von Alstaire.
The character he hated the most. The one he roasted online every night.
In the lore, the original Revan was a cowardly bookworm. Trash designed to be bullied.
But that wasn't the worst part.
After his family goes bankrupt, Revan is destined to become a lackey for a female student—a woman destined to become the main Villainess.
The original Revan wasn't just a servant. He was a disgusting simp. A true masochist.
Whatever his mistress did—humiliating him, spitting on him, kicking him—he accepted it with a smile.
And the ending? Even worse.
When the Villainess falls, the original Revan stays loyal. He falls in love with that cruel woman and chooses to die with her. A pathetic death for a pathetic couple.
'Trash story!' Revan growled, grabbing his hair in frustration.
He remembered the last comment he typed on the game forum before he died:
"Revan is such a loser! Tiny dick! If I were you, instead of just bowing down, I would straight up squeeze her boobs and own her completely! What a garbage character!"
Revan froze in the middle of the silent classroom. His face went pale as reality hit him.
God, or whoever sent him here, must have read that comment.
'Damn it...'
His shoulders started to shake. Then, he laughed.
"Hahaha..."
A low laugh escaped his mouth, breaking the silence of the classroom. It wasn't a happy laugh, but a crazy, maniacal laugh that made the hair stand up on anyone who heard it. The students who were pretending to be blind earlier now turned their heads with pale faces toward the back corner.
Revan didn't care. His eyes flashed sharply, staring at the classroom ceiling, as if challenging the sky itself.
Revan didn't care. His sharp eyes stared at the ceiling, challenging the sky itself.
'So this is the challenge, God? You want to see if I dare to do what I wrote in that comment section?'
Revan grinned widely—a wild grin that didn't belong to a victim.
'Alright. Challenge accepted. I will do it.'