The rampaging tree monster... it was all because I threw that cauldron. To make matters worse, there were Lizardmen living in the lake. My face went pale as I realized the gravity of my mistake.
"Momonga, can you take that tree down?"
"I could. But is there any point?"
Momonga's interest was piqued by the Lizardmen since they weren't a race in Yggdrasil, but his Overlord persona was making him weigh the effort. Why did his cold, skeletal logic have to kick in now?
"You said you wanted to test if you could level up here, right? If you save them, they'll be in your debt. They could be useful allies," I argued.
In truth, I just felt terrible, but I lacked the power to stop the beast myself. I had to convince him through utility.
"Hmm... I can't exactly overwork Clementine, but I don't see why it has to be Lizardmen."
Damn. Compassion wasn't working. I racked my brain while staring at the monster until the numbers for its "Ingredient Compatibility" flickered into view.
"Momonga! That monster has compatibility ratings of 80, 60, and 55! Those are unheard of!"
"Oh? That is intriguing. Where exactly on that creature are the edible parts?"
It was too far away to tell for sure, but it was the highest-rated creature I'd seen in this world.
"Plus, that lake is clean freshwater. It must be teeming with fish. Securing a steady supply of ingredients is vital, right? We can just bring the Lizardmen under your wing while we're at it."
"I don't see the necessity of subordinates yet, but if you want to cook that tree, then we shall bring it down. Besides, the Guardians have been cooped up in Nazarick. Let's give them a chance to stretch their legs."
I let out a breath of relief. It would have been a nightmare to watch a village get crushed because of my temper.
"Clementine mentioned a 'Dragon Lord of Destruction' in the forest. Is that it?" I asked.
"It looks like a Treant or an Evil Tree... but if that's what the locals call it, then it's the perfect lure for the Black Scripture. Fine. We'll beat it into a state where it's still recognizable and use it as bait."
I was just glad the tree was going down.
"Let's head back to Nazarick first. I want to hear more from Clementine, and I'll need to brief Albedo."
"Understood."
That was Momonga's compromise. I could only pray the Lizardmen didn't get wiped out before we got back. I promised myself I'd never throw a pot in anger again. Next time, I'd just use a hammer.
***
"Raise your heads and behold the glory of the Supreme Beings!"
We returned to the Throne Room to find the Floor Guardians already kneeling. Albedo must have moved quickly after receiving Momonga's message. Momonga took his seat on the throne.
"You too, Kawasaki."
A second, identical throne had been placed beside his. It felt entirely out of place for a chef, but I sat down anyway.
"I have gathered you for a specific reason," Momonga began, his voice booming with authority. "During our experiments in the Great Forest of Tob, a colossal monster appeared. It is a weakling, of course, but it is moving toward a lake that Kawasaki has scouted as a potential resource. If left alone, it will drain the lake. We will exterminate it."
I marveled at how his tone shifted when he was playing the Dark Lord. He sounded nothing like the salaryman I knew.
"Lord Ainz, Master Kawasaki. I have brought Clementine," Picky announced, leading the woman into the room.
Momonga activated the Mirror of Remote Viewing, projecting the image of the giant tree. "Is this the Dragon Lord of Destruction?"
"Probably," Clementine said, her eyes wide. "The prophecies spoke of a gargantuan beast that would tear the sky apart. They call creatures like this 'Dragon Lords' even if they aren't dragons."
Another mention of the "hundred-year cycle." It was starting to look more and more like Yggdrasil monsters were being brought over regularly.
"A threat to the world? Pathetic," Momonga scoffed. "However, it has utility. We shall use it to bait the Black Scripture. But the lake must remain intact. Therefore, my Guardians, we shall play a game."
"A game?" I whispered.
"We shall go to the forest. After Aura inspects its stats, you are to find the three parts of this monster that possess 'Ingredient Compatibility.' You will present them to Kawasaki. No hints will be given. You must use your own instincts to find the edible portions of this Evil Tree."
"Wait," I interjected. "That's unfair to Shalltear and Cocytus."
Shalltear, a Cursed Knight, couldn't touch most items without damaging them, and Cocytus's permanent frost aura made handling delicate ingredients impossible. I reached into my item box.
"Shalltear, come here."
"Yes, Master!" She approached, looking stiff with nerves. I handed her a pair of white gloves.
"These are Apprentice Chef's Gloves. They allow the wearer to handle ingredients even if they carry toxins or curses. I'm lending them to you."
"To borrow a personal possession of a Supreme Being... I am unworthy!"
"Just take them," I laughed. "I expect you to find something. It's no fun if you find it but can't pick it up. Does anyone object?"
The other Guardians remained silent, which I took as agreement. Then I called Cocytus.
"For you, a ring to suppress your frost aura. It should allow you to handle things without freezing them solid."
"…I. Thank. You. For. Your. Consideration."
This was specialized gear I used when wielding my ice-bladed kitchen knives. Without it, the cold would ruin the food before it even hit the pan.
"Lord Ainz," Demiurge spoke up. "Aura's report mentioned Lizardmen at that lake. Shall we eliminate them?"
"No. They have their uses. They are likely on the brink of extinction thanks to that monster. If we save them, they will offer their loyalty. If they refuse, we can handle them then. But I do not kill those who submit."
"Kawasaki, you should wait here," Momonga suggested.
"No, I'm going."
"No," Momonga repeated instantly.
I pulled out a fishing rod. "I'm not joining the fight. I'll be fishing at the lake. Just give me a guard. Clementine and I will be in a safe spot."
Momonga sighed but eventually relented. "Albedo, send Narberal Gamma. She will guard Kawasaki."
Narberal, the Doppelganger battle maid. She was a high-level magic caster—perfect for the job.
"We leave once Narberal arrives. Show me your loyalty," Momonga commanded the Guardians.
I felt like the conversation had spiraled away from my original intent, but if the Lizardmen were being saved, I couldn't complain.
"Kawasaki, I'm setting up barriers and auto-response scrolls around you," Momonga warned. "Do not wander off."
"I know, I know."
***
We reached the lake. Momonga and the combat-ready Guardians headed into the deep forest, leaving me with Narberal and Clementine.
"Master Kawasaki, I have prepared a table and chairs. Please, enjoy your fishing."
Narberal had set up an elegant lounge set that looked ridiculous on the muddy bank. I thanked her, but the guilt of causing this whole mess made my stomach churn.
"Can you fish, Clementine?"
"A little," she said, using formal speech because Narberal was watching her like a hawk.
I started to set up two rods when I noticed Narberal staring at the water. "Want to try, Narberal?"
"No. I am on guard duty."
"The monster is miles away and Lord Momonga's magic is active. Nothing is coming near us. Come on, I'll teach you. It's fun."
Using my Cooking Instruction skill, I granted her a portion of my fishing levels. I handed out three rods.
***
As we settled in, Momonga and the Guardians were trekking through the woods when a panicked voice rang out.
"Aaah! It's back! Zy'tl Q'ae has awakened!"
"Shall I eliminate the source?" Albedo asked.
"It might be a source of information. Aura, locate them."
"Behind that tree," Aura pointed.
They found a Dryad with a leaf on her head. "Who are you?! Never mind that—you have to help! Get the seven heroes who defeated Zy'tl Q'ae last time!"
"Who do you think you're talking to?" Albedo hissed, her killing intent causing the Dryad to shiver.
Momonga stepped forward. "I am Ainz Ooal Gown. And you are?"
"I... I am Pinison Pol Perulia."
She explained that if the tree rampaged, the world would end. She begged for the heroes. Aura checked the tree's stats: Level 80-85, but its HP was "unmeasurable"—a raid boss.
"Heroes? That was a long time ago," Momonga mused. "Listen, Pinison. You can't escape that tree on your own, can you?"
"N-no... I'll be eaten..."
"If you cooperate with me, I will save you. I'll even move you to a spot with better sunlight. Deal?"
"Yes! Please!"
Negotiation complete. Momonga secured the Dryad and continued toward the lake.
"Lord Ainz, why keep such a low-tier creature?"
"She's a souvenir for Kawasaki. A forest spirit should know all about growing crops. He'll be thrilled."
They reached the edge of the dried-up section of the lake. The massive silhouette of Zy'tl Q'ae loomed ahead.
"I could end this myself," Momonga said, taking a seat on a conjured chair. "But I want to see your growth. Pandora's Actor, stay here and guard me."
"As you wish, Momonga!"
Momonga ignored the use of his old name. "Go. If you recover the edible parts, I will ask Kawasaki to prepare a meal using them. Only the one who finds the ingredient gets to eat the dish."
The Guardians' eyes ignited with a terrifying competitive fire.
"Go! And remember—Kawasaki is nearby. Do not cause any collateral damage to the shore. And do not attack the Lizardmen without my order."
"Yes, my Lord!"
They vanished into the trees like bullets.
"Momonga, Cocytus has disappeared into the trunk," Pandora's Actor noted.
"A Vermin Lord's senses must have picked something up," Momonga replied.
***
Back at the shore, I had discovered something important.
"Ouch..."
"I've got it, I've got it. Come here."
"I am sorry..."
Narberal Gamma was a world-class klutz. So far, she had hooked her own skirt, a tree behind her, Clementine's shirt, and my bag. Everything but a fish. I patiently unhooked her skirt for the third time.
"You're swinging too hard. Look, hold the line like this and let the rod's weight do the work."
I showed her how to cast with a flick of the wrist. When she finally got the hook into the water, she beamed with a pure, childlike joy. I turned back to my own rod.
Is it her personality, or is my instruction skill just not sticking? I wondered.
"Got another one!" Clementine cheered. She had landed five fish in an hour.
"You're a natural," I said.
"Hidden training," she winked. "Assassins need to know how to live off the land."
Narberal continued to struggle, missing every bite.
"Wait for the bobber to go halfway under," Clementine advised.
Narberal looked at the human. She almost said "trash," but caught herself. "Thank you... Clementine."
At that same moment, deep inside the monster tree, Cocytus was wedging himself into a crevice to reach a pool of shimmering golden sap—Culinary Suitability: 55.
***
"Alright, my turn."
I cast my line out past the others. Within seconds, the bobber vanished with a violent jerk. The rod bent nearly double.
"Whoa!" I stood up, fighting for balance. This wasn't a normal fish.
"Master Kawasaki! It's huge!"
"Get the net, Narberal! The net!"
Narberal spun around in a panic, looking for the net that was sitting right behind her.
"It's behind you!" Clementine yelled.
As Narberal finally grabbed it, the fish's head broke the surface. It was two meters long with a prehistoric, elongated snout.
"The net's too small!" I shouted. "Narberal, take the rod! Clementine, wrap a towel around my arm!"
I handed the rod to the maid, lunged forward, and shoved my towel-wrapped arm into the giant fish's mouth. Using my Cookman strength, I hauled the thrashing monster onto the grass.
"It's a monster..." Clementine whispered.
"No, it's lunch," I grunted.
Just then, the bushes behind us rustled. Narberal was in front of me in a flash, her sword drawn. A group of Lizardmen in primitive armor stepped out into the clearing.
Across the forest, Aura and Mare were high-fiving as they plucked a cluster of glowing red fruits from a branch—Culinary Suitability: 60.
***
The Lizardmen warriors had come to die. Zaryusu, Shasuryu, Zenberu, and Crusch were leading their finest to avenge their kin. But when they reached the shore, they found an orange demi-human and two humans standing over a legendary lake monster.
"You... you are Lizardmen," I said.
Narberal's aura flared. "You dare approach a Supreme Being, you wretched lizards? Die and—"
"Knock it off!" I barked, bopping her on the head. "Sorry, she's a bit high-strung. I'm Kawasaki. I'm a chef."
"A chef?" Zaryusu asked, his hand tight on his blade. "What are you doing here while a god of destruction rampages?"
"My friends are taking care of that tree," I said, pointing toward the forest. "It'll be over soon. Look."
They turned to see dozens of shadows carving into the giant tree. Crusch grabbed Zaryusu's arm, her body trembling.
"Don't, Zaryusu... that orange one... he is stronger than all of us combined."
"You're kidding," Zenberu muttered, staring at my round form.
"We cannot just watch," Shasuryu said, trying to move past me.
I blocked his path with my fishing rod. "I said, stay back. You'll only get in the way."
My voice was no longer friendly. The weight of my Level 100 presence hit them like a wall, freezing them in place. At that moment, the air around us began to glow with shifting, ethereal lights.
"The... the Ancestors?!" the Lizardmen gasped, falling to their knees.
The "Ancestors" were actually low-level undead mages Momonga had summoned to maintain the perimeter.
"Don't throw your lives away," I told them. "Why do you think I'm standing here?"
"To... to stop us?"
"Exactly." I unhooked my giant fish and looked up. "Here comes my business partner now."
A figure in black robes descended slowly from the sky, his cape billowing in the wind.
***
I had teleported in after receiving Kawasaki's emergency message, but I was still trying to process the scene.
(Kawasaki, what is going on?)
(Sorry.)
The Lizardmen were wailing about "Death Spirits" and "Ancestors." I decided to roll with it.
"I am the Spirit of Death," I announced, my voice echoing. "I have descended at the request of your forefathers. The beast of calamity shall be purged. Do not waste your lives."
This was a perfect chance to annex them. Might as well secure Kawasaki's reputation too.
"This is also the wish of my friend, the God of Cooking, Kawasaki."
(Are you serious with that title again?!)
I ignored his mental message. While I played my part, Shalltear and Albedo were currently at the top of the giant tree, screaming at each other as they fought over a patch of rare moss. Beneath them, Demiurge lay unconscious, having been accidentally knocked out by both of them while he was trying to secure an ingredient.
"The beast is nearly finished," I told the Lizardmen. "Wait in your village. I shall come to you once the forest is silent."
They scrambled away in terror.
"Kawasaki," I sighed. "Could you try to be a bit less of a trouble magnet?"
"I was just fishing!"
I shook my head and headed toward the tree to deliver the final blow. Seeing Shalltear and Albedo still tearing at each other's hair over a weed, I let out a second, even deeper sigh.
Next — Menu 14: Otherworldly Fish Meunière and Shabu-shabu
***
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