My voice didn't even sound like mine anymore.
The bag slipped from my hand and hit the floor loudly, but the noise felt distant. Everything did.
I stumbled forward.
My mother was lying beside the couch, unnaturally still.
There was blood.
Too much blood.
My brain refused to process it properly. Refused to understand what my eyes were seeing.
"No…"
I dropped to my knees so hard it hurt. My shaking hands grabbed her shoulders immediately.
"Mom?!"
I shook her gently first.
Then harder.
"Mom, wake up…!!"
Nothing.
Her skin felt cold.
No.
No no no no!!
"She's just unconscious," I whispered desperately to myself. "She's just unconscious…"
I pressed trembling hands against her shoulders again.
"Mom!"
Still nothing.
My breathing became uneven instantly. My chest burned. Tears blurred my vision so badly I could barely see her face anymore.
"Please wake up…!!"
The apartment felt wrong. Too quiet.
The television was still playing softly in the background like nothing happened. Like the world hadn't just broken apart in front of me.
Then my eyes caught something near the floor.
Footprints.
Bloody footprints.
My heartbeat stopped.
A memory flashed violently through my mind.
"If you don't do what I say… you'll lose the person most important to you"
Naoko.
My stomach twisted so hard I thought I would throw up.
My hands fumbled for my phone so badly I almost dropped it twice.
Police.
Ambulance.
Voices.
Questions.
Everything after that blurred together into noise.
Bright lights.
Cold air.
The smell of disinfectant.
I sat motionless in the hospital waiting area with dried blood still staining my sleeves.
People kept talking to me. Nurses. Police officers. Doctors.
I barely heard any of them.
"…Takano-san?"
A doctor stood in front of me now, expression careful. Sympathetic.
The kind of face adults make when they already know your life is ruined.
"I'm sorry," he said quietly.
That was the moment everything became real.
My ears rang violently.
"…No."
The word came out broken. Weak.
The doctor continued speaking but I couldn't understand him anymore.
My mother was dead.
Dead.
The word repeated inside my head over and over until it stopped sounding real.
Then suddenly…
"You'll lose the person most important to you"
Naoko's voice.
Clear. Calm.
My breathing stopped for a second.
No.
No way.
But the thought wouldn't leave.
The timing.
The threat.
The blood.
My body moved before my mind caught up.
I stood up so suddenly the chair screeched loudly against the floor.
"Miss—?" the doctor started.
I was already gone.
By the time I reached Naoko-sensei's house, I could barely think straight anymore.
My entire body shook with grief and rage and exhaustion.
I didn't knock.
I slammed the door open so hard it crashed against the wall.
Naoko looked up from the couch immediately, surprised.
"…Huh?"
She blinked once.
"Haruko?"
The sight of her sitting there calmly almost made me snap completely.
"You killed her…!"
My voice cracked violently.
Naoko's expression changed slightly. Confusion first. Then realization.
"…Uh… Who exactly?"
"DON'T SAY IT LIKE THAT!!" I shouted.
The room fell silent instantly.
My breathing was ragged. Tears burned down my face before I even realized I was crying again.
"You threatened me!" I screamed. "You said if I didn't listen, I'd lose the person most important to me! Even tho I didn't say anything to anyone!"
Naoko stared at me quietly from the couch.
Then slowly stood up.
"…Haruko," she said carefully, "I didn't kill your mother."
"LIAR!"
The word echoed through the room.
For the first time since knowing her, Naoko actually looked slightly unsettled.
Not scared.
Just serious.
"I'm not lying, Haruko."
"How am I supposed to believe you?!"
Naoko exhaled softly and walked closer. Not too close, just enough for me to hear her clearly.
"If you think I killed her," Naoko said quietly, "then think properly first."
My breathing was still uneven.
"How am I supposed to think properly right now?!"
Naoko didn't react to the yelling. She just looked at me steadily.
"When your mother died," she said calmly, "I was still at school."
I froze slightly.
"What…?"
Naoko crossed her arms lightly.
"There was a staff meeting after classes ended today. Ask any teacher."
My thoughts stumbled.
She continued before I could speak.
"I left school almost an hour after students went home."
"…You could still…"
"No." Her voice stayed calm, but firmer this time. "Your apartment is too far from the school. Even if I drove there immediately, the timeline wouldn't match."
I stared at her silently.
Naoko walked toward the kitchen counter and grabbed her phone.
Then she held it out toward me.
"Look."
My shaking hands slowly took it.
A group chat. School staff messages.
Times.
Photos.
A message from another teacher complaining about the meeting lasting too long.
Then another image.
Naoko sitting in the teacher's office beside two other staff members. The timestamp matched the estimated time my mother…
My stomach twisted violently.
"That photo was posted during the meeting," Naoko said quietly. "Multiple teachers saw me there."
I couldn't speak anymore.
Because the proof was solid.
Painfully solid.
Naoko gently took the phone back from my trembling hands.
"I threatened you," she admitted calmly. "So it's natural you suspected me."
I hated even more that part of me knew she was probably telling the truth.
My knees suddenly felt weak.
"…Then who?" I whispered.
Naoko stayed silent for a moment.
Then her expression shifted slightly. Colder now. More focused.
"Did the police say anything strange?" she asked.
I shook my head weakly.
Naoko looked genuinely irritated now. Thinking.
"I warned you to be careful," she muttered quietly.
"What does that mean?"
She looked back at me.
"It means someone knew where to hurt you."
Fear crawled slowly into my chest.
Not random.
Not coincidence.
Someone chose my mother.
The realization broke something inside me completely.
I covered my mouth suddenly as another sob escaped my throat.
"She was all I had…" I whispered shakily.
Naoko watched me quietly.
For once, she didn't smile.
"She didn't deserve that," I said weakly. "She never hurt anyone…"
My breathing became uneven again.
Then anger suddenly replaced the grief. Sharp. Burning.
I looked up at Naoko with trembling hands clenched tightly at my sides.
"Find them."
Naoko blinked once.
"…What?"
"Find whoever did this..!"
My voice cracked violently. Tears streamed down my face uncontrollably now.
And then the words came out before I could stop them.
"I want you to kill them!!"
Silence.
Complete silence.
Naoko stared at me.
Actually stared.
For the first time since meeting her, she looked genuinely caught off guard.
My chest heaved painfully.
"I want them dead," I whispered again, hatred poisoning every word. "I want them to suffer!!"
Then suddenly, Naoko went completely silent.
Not shocked.
Not confused.
Just… still.
The room felt colder somehow.
I stood there breathing unevenly, tears still running down my face while the weight of my own words slowly settled into me.
"I want you to kill them"
My stomach twisted violently.
What was wrong with me?
Naoko lowered her head slightly.
Then,
She started laughing.
At first it was quiet. Small.
But it didn't stop.
The laughter grew louder and louder until she had to hold the edge of the table to steady herself. Her shoulders shook violently, white hair falling over her face while she laughed like she had just heard the funniest thing in the world.
It wasn't cheerful anymore.
It sounded unhinged.
"Sensei…?" my voice came out weakly.
Naoko looked up at me finally, smiling wider than I had ever seen before.
And somehow… it looked terrifying.
"Haruko," she laughed softly, wiping at the corner of her eye, "do you even hear yourself right now?"
I stepped backward instinctively.
"N-No…"
"Oh, this is beautiful!" she continued, still grinning. "You spent all this time looking at me like I was some horrible monster!"
Her smile widened further.
"And now look at you."
The words hit like knives.
"I-I'm not-"
"You came here begging for someone to die."
"I didn't mean it!"
"But you did."
Naoko's voice sharpened slightly under the smile.
"You meant every word."
I shook my head immediately.
"No!"
"You wanted revenge, didn't you?"
"That's different!"
"Is it?"
Silence crashed between us.
Naoko slowly walked closer. Calm again now. But the excitement in her eyes hadn't disappeared.
"You know what's funny?" she asked softly. "A few weeks ago, you couldn't even look people in the eyes when they bullied you."
I froze.
"And now?" she continued gently. "The moment someone took away the person you loved…"
Her smile became colder.
"…your first instinct was violence."
My breathing became uneven again.
"No…"
Naoko tilted her head slightly.
"Haruko," she said quietly, almost affectionately, "you're becoming like me."
The sentence made my chest tighten painfully.
"I'm NOT like you!" I shouted immediately.
Naoko laughed softly again.
"You think I was born like this?"
I stopped.
She looked almost amused by my expression.
"Nobody wakes up one day wanting blood on their hands," she said calmly. "People change when pain becomes too large to hold normally."
I hated how calm she sounded.
I hated even more that part of me was listening.
"You're angry," Naoko continued. "You're grieving. You want someone to suffer because you're suffering!"
Her eyes locked onto mine.
"That's what humans do."
"I'm not a killer…" I whispered shakily.
"No," she agreed.
Then she smiled again.
"But now you understand one."
The room felt suffocating suddenly.
I covered my mouth with trembling hands.
Because the worst part wasn't her words.
The worst part was realizing that for one horrible moment…
I really did want someone dead.
Naoko watched me carefully for a second before speaking again, quieter this time.
"You know what separates people like me from people like you?"
I couldn't answer.
She pointed lightly toward my chest.
"Guilt."
My stomach dropped.
"You're horrified by your own thoughts," she continued calmly. "That means there's still something soft inside you."
Then her smile returned again. Smaller this time. Stranger.
"But softness disappears eventually if the world cuts into it enough."
I stared at her silently.
Naoko walked slowly toward the kitchen, like the conversation had become casual again.
"You should sit down," she said lightly. "You look pale."
"How are you talking normally right now…?" I whispered.
She glanced back at me.
"Because panic doesn't solve anything."
I hated that answer too.
Naoko opened the refrigerator calmly, completely unfazed by everything that just happened.
Then without even turning around, she spoke again.
"…Do you still want me to find them?"
Silence.
My throat tightened immediately.
Because despite everything…
Despite how scared I was of her…
Part of me still whispered yes.
And that terrified me more than anything else in the room.
The room stayed quiet after that.
Too quiet.
I stood there near the doorway while Naoko moved around the kitchen casually, like we weren't talking about murder and revenge seconds ago.
The sound of a cup being placed onto the counter echoed softly through the room.
My head hurt.
Everything hurt.
I slowly sat down on the edge of the couch because my legs didn't feel stable anymore.
Naoko glanced at me briefly while pouring water into a glass.
"You look like you're about to pass out."
"…I probably am."
"That would be inconvenient."
She walked over and handed me the glass anyway.
I stared at it for a second before taking it carefully. My hands still shook slightly.
Naoko sat across from me afterward, crossing one leg over the other calmly.
The silence stretched again.
Then reality suddenly hit me all over again.
My apartment.
The police.
The hospital bills.
The funeral.
My mother was really gone.
My grip tightened slightly around the glass.
"…I don't know what I'm supposed to do now."
Naoko tilted her head.
"About?"
"Everything."
My voice sounded hollow.
"I can't stay there anymore." I looked down toward the floor. "I don't even know if I can afford anything now."
Saying it out loud somehow made everything feel worse.
"My mom handled all the money stuff," I admitted quietly. "Rent… food… bills…"
I laughed weakly under my breath.
"She even reminded me when I forgot homework sometimes."
The thought almost broke me again.
I quickly looked away before more tears could fall.
"…I don't know how to live without her."
Naoko stayed silent for a moment.
Actually thinking.
Then she rested her chin lightly against her hand.
"I could help you," she said casually.
I blinked slowly.
"…What?"
"You heard me."
Naoko looked strangely calm about it.
"You can stay here for now."
I stared at her in disbelief.
"…Why?"
"Because," she said simply, "if someone murdered your mother to hurt you, then there's a high chance they'll come after you next."
Ice crawled down my spine instantly.
Naoko continued calmly.
"And unlike you, I can actually defend myself."
I hated how true that was.
"But," she added lightly, "I have one condition."
My stomach tightened immediately.
"…What condition?"
Naoko smiled slowly.
"I want honesty."
Something about that answer felt dangerous already.
She leaned slightly forward.
"No more pretending you're completely innocent."
I froze.
"You wanted revenge," she said softly. "You wanted someone dead."
"I…"
"You don't get to take those words back just because they scared you afterward."
I looked down immediately.
My chest tightened painfully again.
Naoko's eyes stayed fixed on me.
"So say it honestly."
Silence.
The room suddenly felt too warm. Too small.
"I…" My voice cracked weakly.
Naoko waited patiently.
Like she already knew I would eventually break.
I clenched my hands tightly together.
"…I wanted them to die," I whispered.
Naoko smiled instantly.
"No." She tilted her head slightly, smiling as well. "Say it properly."
My stomach twisted.
I hated this.
I hated her.
I hated myself more for understanding what she wanted.
But I had nowhere else to go.
No one else who understood what was happening.
And maybe that terrified me most of all.
Slowly, shakily, I forced the words out.
"…Part of me wants to kill them too."
Silence.
Then Naoko's face lit up with genuine excitement.
"Oh wow," she laughed softly, clapping once dramatically. "Like teacher, like student, huh?"
My chest immediately filled with regret.
"I didn't mean-"
"You absolutely meant it," Naoko interrupted cheerfully.
She looked almost proud.
Which somehow made everything feel even worse.
Naoko stood up and stretched lazily afterward.
"Well then," she said brightly, "welcome to your new temporary home."
I stared at her weakly.
"You're serious…?"
"Very."
She pointed toward the hallway casually.
"There's a spare room upstairs. It's dusty because nobody uses it."
Nobody uses it.
The sentence sounded strangely lonely coming from her.
Naoko walked past me toward the stairs before stopping halfway.
"Oh, and Haruko?"
I looked up slowly.
Her smile softened slightly.
"If the person who killed your mother really is targeting you…"
For the first time that night, her voice sounded genuinely cold.
"…then they picked the wrong girl to hunt."
Naoko leaned against the kitchen counter quietly after saying it.
"And I might know who did it."
For a second, I forgot how to breathe.
"…What?"
My voice came out small. Desperate.
Naoko looked at me carefully before continuing.
"The timing is too strange."
I stared at her silently.
"I kills one of your bullies, but they thought you killed her." Naoko said casually, referring to herself in third person mockingly for a second, "Then suddenly your mother dies right after…"
My stomach twisted again.
Naoko crossed her arms.
"The remaining girls probably panicked."
"…Panicked?"
"They lost their leader."
Her expression darkened slightly.
"People become dangerous when they're scared."
I felt cold all over again.
Naoko continued calmly, like explaining a lesson in class.
"They already hated you. Then their friend turns up dead in Area 23."
My fingers tightened slightly.
"So they wanted revenge too," I whispered.
Naoko smiled faintly.
"Exactly."
The word made me sick.
"But killing you immediately would've been stupid," she continued. "You're a student. Your classmates know you. I know you. If you suddenly died right after the bully, suspicion spreads everywhere."
I slowly realized where this was going.
"So…"
"So they targeted the person closest to you instead."
My chest tightened painfully.
Naoko's voice stayed cold and analytical.
"Your mother was easier."
I looked down immediately, tears threatening again.
Easier.
The word hurt more than anything else.
Naoko noticed instantly and sighed softly.
"I'm not saying she deserved it."
"…I know."
The room fell quiet again.
Then Naoko looked toward the window thoughtfully.
"But now there's another problem."
I swallowed hard.
"Me."
Naoko nodded once.
"If the killer realizes you're still alive and capable of identifying them…"
She didn't finish the sentence.
She didn't need to.
Fear crawled slowly into my chest again.
Naoko suddenly clapped her hands once lightly, completely shifting the mood again like flipping a switch.
"Well!" she said cheerfully. "No point crying while covered in dried blood."
I blinked at her.
The emotional whiplash was terrifying.
Naoko walked toward a nearby cabinet and opened it before suddenly stopping.
"…Actually," she murmured.
I looked up weakly from the couch.
Naoko stayed quiet for a second like she had just remembered something important. Then she clicked her tongue softly under her breath.
"The hospital."
My chest tightened instantly again.
Right.
This still wasn't over.
There were papers. Questions. Procedures.
My mother wasn't just… gone.
The world expected me to continue functioning anyway.
Naoko closed the cabinet again and turned toward me.
"You'll probably have to go back tonight," she said calmly. "Identification. Legal procedures. Things like that."
The thought alone made me feel sick.
"I don't want to…" I whispered.
"I know."
Her voice was strangely gentle that time.
"But avoiding it won't make it disappear."
I looked down at my hands silently.
Naoko sighed softly before walking closer.
"Since you're a minor," she continued, "they'll probably ask for an adult guardian to stay with you during everything."
I blinked slowly.
Then realization hit.
"You?"
Naoko shrugged lightly.
"I'm your teacher. It's believable enough."
Believable.
The word sounded strange coming from her.
I stared at the floor for a few seconds before speaking quietly.
"…Why are you helping me?"
Naoko tilted her head slightly.
"That question again?"
"You could've ignored me."
"I could've."
"Then why?"
For once, Naoko didn't answer immediately.
She looked away toward the dark hallway for a moment before finally speaking.
"…Because 'I' wanted to"
Her voice stayed calm.
"I'd rather not watch it happen twice."
Something about that answer made my chest hurt again.
Before I could respond, Naoko clapped her hands lightly once.
"Well then," she said casually, shifting moods again way too fast, "standing around dramatically won't get paperwork done."
I almost forgot how terrifying she was when she acted normal like this.
Naoko grabbed her coat from a nearby chair and tossed it over her shoulders.
"Come on."
I stood slowly, legs still feeling weak.
The second I moved, exhaustion hit me again like a truck.
Naoko noticed immediately.
"You look terrible."
"…Thank you."
"You're welcome."
I stared at her blankly.
Then somehow, unbelievably, she laughed softly.
Not the frightening laugh from earlier.
Just small. Quiet.
Almost human.
And somehow that scared me too.
The drive to the hospital was silent.
Rain had started sometime while we were talking.
The sound of it hitting the car windows filled the silence between us while city lights blurred softly outside.
I sat curled slightly against the passenger seat, staring out the window without really seeing anything.
Naoko drove calmly beside me with one hand resting lazily against the steering wheel.
Like this was just another normal night.
Like there wasn't dried blood still staining my sleeves.
My chest tightened painfully again.
"…Sensei."
"Hm?"
"…Do people really change that easily?"
Naoko glanced at me briefly.
"What do you mean?"
I swallowed hard.
"A few weeks ago…" My voice weakened slightly. "I was worried about homework and novels and stupid things."
The rain outside grew heavier.
"And now I'm sitting in a car with someone who kills people."
Naoko hummed softly.
"And?"
"And I asked you to kill someone."
Silence.
Naoko looked forward again quietly.
Then she spoke in that same calm voice that always made everything worse somehow.
"Trauma changes people quickly."
I looked down immediately.
Naoko continued driving without another word after that.
And for the rest of the ride, all I could think about was how terrifying it was that her answer actually made sense...