The video continued.
Scene: The Crater Site. Day.
Loki stood before the SHIELD army, his golden armor gleaming. He sneered, a look of utter disdain on his face.
"Hah," Loki laughed. "Before a God... you kneel."
"We don't do that here," Fury retorted on screen. "No matter who you are."
"I am Loki," the Trickster God announced, puffing out his chest. "Prince of Asgard. Rightful King of Jotunheim..."
Ring Ring. Ring Ring.
Fury's phone buzzed loudly.
Loki paused. His eye twitched.
"...Rightful King. God of Mischief..." Loki tried to continue.
Ring Ring. Ring Ring.
"Are you going to answer that?" Loki snapped, his regal composure cracking. "I'm in the middle of a monologue!"
The scene was incredibly awkward.
Then, chaos. Loki slammed his staff into the ground. Ice—blue, jagged, and impossibly cold—erupted from the earth, freezing the front line of SHIELD agents instantly.
Video Ends.
"Well," Tony broke the silence. "That was... something."
"So," Tony quipped. "We're fighting guys who use bows and arrows in the 21st century? Are we sure they aren't just cosplayers who took it too far?"
"You don't understand," Fury defended his agent. "Barton's skill with a bow is supernatural. Giving him a gun would be a downgrade. It limits his artistry."
"Artistry?" Tony scoffed. "He's an archer, not a painter. And apparently, his 'artistry' involves getting spooked by thunder and killing a prince."
"Impossible," Fury insisted. "Barton doesn't flinch. Not for thunder. Not for explosions. There has to be another reason."
"I wish the video was longer," Fury sighed. "If we saw why he fired, we could prevent it. I refuse to believe my best agent made a rookie mistake."
"Regardless," Tony said, "you better tell Legolas to keep his arrows in his quiver. And maybe ask him where he buys his shampoo. Seriously, Thor's hair was majestic."
"I'll handle Barton," Fury grunted, ignoring the hair comment. (He was bald. He didn't care about hair. Nope. Not at all.)
"But the bigger mystery," Tony mused, "is why Thor was so weak. A God killed by an arrow? I expected... I don't know, a force field? Impenetrable skin?"
"He was mortal," Fury concluded. "The blood test in the video confirmed he was ancient, but biological. He was stripped of his power."
"Why?" Tony asked. "Exile? Punishment? 'Prince's Revenge' story arc?"
"It fits the Hollywood tropes," Tony nodded. "Arrogant prince gets kicked out, learns humility, gets the girl, reclaims the throne. Classic Hero's Journey."
"Except in this version," Fury pointed out, "he dies in Act 1. And the brother invades with an army."
"Speaking of the brother," Tony chuckled. "Loki. The 'Third Princess'. The 'Drama Queen'."
"Lucas nailed it," Tony laughed. "Did you see him? 'I am Loki! Kneel!' And then getting interrupted by a phone? That's peak comedy."
"He's a diva," Fury agreed. "But a dangerous one. That ice magic? That wasn't a party trick."
"And the army using spears?" Tony added. "Are they LARPing? Or do those spears shoot lasers?"
"Knowing our luck," Fury said, "they shoot lasers that turn into snakes."
Just then, the diary updated again.
[Rewatching it, every timeline's Loki is a massive poser. He's just like Sasuke Uchiha.]
[Talks the biggest game. Takes the hardest beatings.]
[Hahahaha. Can't wait to see the 'Puny God' scene in person. Hahahaha!]
Fury read the text. "Sasuke Uchiha?"
"Anime character," Tony explained instantly. "Broody. Emo. overpowered brother complex. Perfect comparison."
"And 'Puny God'?" Fury asked.
"Sounds like someone beats him up," Tony grinned. "Badly."
"Good," Fury nodded. "I like that future."
"I have to go," Fury stood up. "I need to get to New Mexico. I'll send your father's things over."
"If you have any other brilliant ideas," Fury added, "call me."
"Will do," Tony waved. "Try not to get frozen."
Fury walked out.