Odin is dying. Asgard is weakening. The Earth's shield is cracking.
This was the terrifying conclusion Nick Fury had reached. The "stage" of Earth was being set for a cosmic drama where warlords, mad titans, and dark elves would take turns beating up the planet.
"If the scriptwriters are doing this for 'readability'," Fury thought bitterly, "I hope they enjoy the body count."
"A Universe-Level Crisis," Fury repeated the phrase in his mind. "It's not just a city. It's not just a country. It's everything."
The headache behind his eye throbbed.
"But if Asgard is going down," Fury strategized, "we need to be their life raft. Or at least, their best friend. Because even a weakened Asgard is stronger than Earth."
"And Thor," Fury looked at the sulking blonde giant, "is the key."
Meanwhile, Coulson was geeking out.
"So, Dark Elves? Dwarves?" Coulson asked, eager for details. "Are they real too?"
"Real as you and me," Thor grunted. "Though Dwarves... they aren't small. They average about ten feet tall."
"Ten feet?" Coulson blinked. "Then why call them Dwarves?"
"Maybe the Giants named them," Thor shrugged. "Or maybe Asgardians have a weird sense of humor. Compared to a Frost Giant, a ten-foot Dwarf is... well, short."
"And Giants?" Coulson pressed. "How big are they?"
"Average height," Thor said nonchalantly. "Like me. Except the really big ones. They can touch the clouds."
Coulson and Hawkeye exchanged looks. Dwarves are giants. Giants are normal. Space is weird.
"Enough trivia," Fury cut in. "Let's focus. Thor, why can't you lift the hammer?"
Thor looked at Mjolnir, then at his hands.
"My father," Thor admitted softly. "He put a spell on it. 'Whosoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy...'"
"He's still angry," Thor sighed. "He knows that as long as I have Mjolnir, I have power. So he locked it. He wants me to suffer as a mortal."
"Hammer God indeed," Hawkeye muttered under his breath.
Thor's eyes flashed. "Watch your tongue, archer. You do not understand the nature of divine power. If you insult me again..."
"What?" Hawkeye challenged, stepping forward. "You gonna throw some mud at me? You're just a guy now, remember?"
"Enough!" Fury barked. "We are not doing this."
Fury looked at the two men. One was an arrogant god brought low. The other was a cynical sniper with a chip on his shoulder.
"If this is the future Avengers," Fury thought, "I need a drink. A barrel of drinks."
"Thor," Fury turned back to the prince. "I don't think your father is just 'angry'. If the diary is right, he's testing you."
"He's dying," Fury said bluntly. "He doesn't have time to be petty. He needs an heir. He needs a King."
"Do you trust Lucas's words?" Thor asked, his voice tight.
"I trust his track record," Fury nodded. "He predicted the hammer. He predicted you. He predicted the invasion."
"So," Fury continued, "if Odin is testing you, then lifting the hammer isn't about strength. It's about growth."
"What does Odin want you to learn?" Fury asked. "What makes a King worthy?"
Thor fell silent.
"Humility?" Thor guessed. "Wisdom? Patience?"
"All things I lack," Thor admitted with a self-deprecating laugh.
"Maybe he wants you to realize you're not the only option," Fury suggested. "Do you have siblings?"
"Loki," Thor said. "My brother. He is clever. Perhaps... perhaps he would make a better King."
"We are brothers," Thor said earnestly. "I would gladly serve him if he took the throne. It matters not who wears the crown, as long as Asgard is safe."
Fury raised an eyebrow.
"You really believe that?" Fury asked.
"Of course," Thor nodded. "Loki is mischievous, but he loves Asgard."
Fury sighed.
"Thor," Fury said gently. "Have you read the part of the diary where Lucas calls Loki a 'Drama Queen' and compares him to a villain?"
"And the part where Loki invades Earth with an army?"
Thor frowned. "Loki can be... difficult. But he would never betray me. Or our father."
"Right," Fury muttered. "And I'm the Tooth Fairy."
"We need to assume Loki is a player in this," Fury warned. "If Odin is incapacitated, who is ruling Asgard right now?"
Thor's face paled.
"Loki," he whispered. "If father is in the Odinsleep... Loki is Regent."
"And if Loki is Regent," Fury concluded, "and you're stuck here..."
"Then you're not in exile," Fury said darkly. "You're in prison."
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