The "Post-Proposal" Dinner: The Roast of the Analog Couple
[Jay's POV]
The dining hall of the Watson estate had been converted into a long-table banquet. The smell of truffle risotto and expensive wine (which I was sadly only allowed to smell) filled the air. But more than that, the room was filled with the scent of "Blood in the Water."
Now that the romantic high of the proposal had settled, the University Squad was ready for their favorite sport: Systemwide Teasing.
Keigan and Rina were sitting together—finally "Official." Keigan was trying to eat his salad with military precision, while Rina looked like she wanted to hide inside her vintage lace collar.
The "Data Entry" Roast
"So, Keigan," Calix started, leaning across the table with a devious grin. "Now that you're engaged, are you going to 'Optimize' the wedding? Are the invitations going to be sent via encrypted PDF or is Rina going to spend the next three years hand-writing five hundred letters?"
"The 'Invitation Protocol' is still under review," Keigan muttered, his ears turning that familiar "Processing Pink."
"Oh, please," Ella chimed in from the other side. "I bet Keigan's already programmed an algorithm to decide the seating chart based on 'Conversational Compatibility' and 'Minimal Conflict Probability'."
Bridget barked out a laugh, pointing her fork at them. "I'm more worried about the honeymoon. Keigan probably has a spreadsheet for 'Optimal Relaxation' and 'Scheduled Spontaneity'. 1,000% he brings a drone to record their 'Intimacy Metrics'!"
"Bridget! That is... that is 'Unauthorized Speculation'!" Keigan squeaked.
Mamma's "Old School" Intervention
Mamma Serina smiled gently, but I saw the twinkle in her eye. She was the "Silent Assassin" of teasing.
"Now, now, everyone," Mamma said. "Let's not pick on them. I think it's sweet. In fact, Keigan was so excited about Rina's last letter that he actually asked me if 'Scented Paper' was a fire hazard for the library."
The table exploded. Keiran almost choked on his wine. Rory and Mayo were high-fiving.
"A FIRE HAZARD?!" Keiran roared. "Bro, it's a letter, not a flare! You're 2,000% a dork!"
The "Empress" Strike: [Jay's POV]
I leaned back, feeling Alexander give a little kick of agreement. I decided it was my turn.
"Rina, honey," I said, my voice dripping with "Empress" authority. "You have to be careful. Keifer is the 'Ice King,' but Keigan is the 'Update King.' If you don't 'Check for Updates' on your relationship daily, he might try to 'Reboot' your date nights."
"1,000%," Rakki added, giggling. "He'll be standing at the altar like: 'Do you, Rina, accept the Terms and Conditions of this Marriage.zip file?'"
Rina actually giggled, leaning her head on Keigan's shoulder. "Actually," she said softly, "he already asked me if I wanted to 'Sync our Calendars' for the next fifty years. I told him I prefer a paper planner."
"A paper planner!" Mica gasped. "Keigan's 'System' is going to have a stroke trying to 'Search' for a physical page!"
The "Alpha" Observation: [Keifer's POV]
I sat at the head of the table, my hand resting on the back of Jay's chair. I watched my brother—the man who usually lived in a world of 1s and 0s—looking completely defeated by a group of people he'd known since university.
"Enough," I said, my "CEO" voice cutting through the noise. The table went silent instantly. I looked at Keigan, then at Rina. "The 'Data' is clear. Keigan has finally found someone who can handle his 'Memory Leaks'. As long as Rina is happy, the 'Watson Firewall' will protect this union."
I paused, a smirk tugging at my lips.
"But for the record, Keigan... if you use a spreadsheet for the bachelor party, I'm 'Deleting' your guest list."