The Peralta Check-Up: Dr. Ci-N vs. The CEO's Blood Pressure
[Jay's POV]
The 8th month had officially reached the "Relocation is Impossible" stage. Keifer had basically turned our bedroom into a satellite office, but today was the big 34-week check-up at Peralta Hospital.
As the elevator doors opened to the VIP Maternity Wing, Keifer was already in a "Defensive Loop," arguing with a security guard about the "Air Filtration Quality" in the hallway. I rolled my eyes, leaning back in my wheelchair.
"Keif, honey, it's a hospital, not a construction site. The air is 1,000% sterile."
"It's 'Unverified', Jay," he muttered, clutching my medical file like it was a top-secret merger agreement.
We reached Exam Room 4, and the door swung open. There he was—our best friend, the only man Keifer actually trusted with my life (mostly), and the most annoying doctor in the history of medicine: Dr. Ci-N.
He was wearing his white coat with a stethoscope draped over his neck, looking 2,000% too professional for someone I've seen lose a bet and eat a whole raw onion back in university.
The "Simp" Diagnosis
"Well, well," Ci-N grinned, not even looking at the chart. He looked straight at Keifer. "If it isn't the 'Ice King' looking like his 'Internal Server' is about to melt. You look terrible, Keif. Have you slept, or have you been 'Monitoring' Jay's breathing all night again?"
"I am 'Optimizing' her recovery time, Ci-N," Keifer snapped, crossing his arms and standing right behind my wheelchair like a gargoyle. "Just run the 'Diagnostics'. I want a full 'System Scan' of Alexander and Aurora."
"Alexander and Aurora," Ci-N repeated, winking at me as he prepped the ultrasound gel. "Great names. One sounds like a conqueror, and the other sounds like she's already planned how to 'Uninstall' her father's authority."
The Ultrasound Interference
Ci-N moved the transducer over my bump. The room went dark, and suddenly, the "Double-Heir" heartbeat filled the room. Thump-thump, thump-thump. "Both heartbeats are 1,000% stable," Ci-N noted, his doctor-voice kicking in. But then his "Best Friend" side took back the wheel. "Whoa, Alexander just did a 'Roundhouse Kick' to your rib, Jay. He definitely has Keifer's 'Aggressive Market Entry'. He's basically shouting, 'Clear the Perimeter!'"
"And Aurora?" I asked, watching my daughter's tiny profile on the 4K screen.
"Aurora is currently using Alexander's head as a pillow," Ci-N laughed. "She's the 'Strategic Lead'. She's letting her brother do all the heavy lifting while she 'Saves Energy' for the grand finale. Smart girl."
Keifer leaned in so close to the monitor his glasses almost touched it. "Is that a 'Shadow' near the umbilical cord? Ci-N, I need a 'High-Definition' explanation of that 'Pixelation'."
Ci-N sighed, looking at me. "Jay, can you 'Firewall' your husband for five minutes? He's 'Ping-ing' my brain with too many requests. Keifer, it's a shadow. It's physics. Not a 'Data Breach'."
The "Medical" Roast
As the exam finished, Ci-N sat back in his rolling chair, scribbling on his tablet.
"Physically, Jay, you're a 2,000% masterpiece. The twins are healthy, the 'Deployment' is on track for next month. However..." He looked at Keifer. "I'm writing a 'Prescription' for the Hubby."
"A prescription?" Keifer narrowed his eyes. "For what? I'm not the 'Patient'."
"It's for a 'System Chill Pill'," Ci-N deadpanned. "Symptoms include: Hovering like a 'Drone', background-checking the nurses' graduation years, and trying to 'Manage' the amniotic fluid levels. If you don't 'Shut Down' your stress, you're going to 'Glitch' before the babies even get here."
"I am NOT hovering," Keifer defended, while literally adjusted my pillow for the tenth time.
"You're the biggest 'Simp' in the medical database, Keif," Ci-N laughed, clapping him on the back as we headed for the door. "Don't worry. I've already 'Authorized' a special suite for when she goes into labor. It has extra-strong 'Signal Dampeners' so you can't work on your laptop while she's pushing."
"YOU DID WHAT?!" Keifer's voice echoed down the hall.
"1,000%!" Ci-N shouted back, waving us off. "See you at the 'Launch', Watsons!"