The "Simp-Mode" Post-Game: Mamma and Jay vs. The CEO
[Jay's POV]
We were back from the hospital, and the "Peralta Report" had been the main topic of conversation. Mamma Serina and I were lounging in the sunroom, sipping on chilled cucumber water. Keifer was paced back and forth near the window, currently on his third "Follow-up Call" to Ci-N to clarify the "Pixelation" on the ultrasound.
"Yes, Ci-N... I understand it's a shadow, but I want a 'Thermal Analysis' just to be sure. 1,000%... No, don't you dare hang up on—"
Click.
Keifer stared at his phone like it had just committed a "Hostile Takeover." He let out a frustrated huff and turned toward us, his "Alpha" mask slightly crooked.
The "Diagnosis" Discussion
"He hung up," Keifer muttered, sitting down next to me and immediately checking the "Ergonomic Alignment" of my pillows. "Our 'Best Friend' has a very 'Unprofessional Connection' to his phone's 'End Call' button."
Mamma Serina set her tea down with a graceful clink. "Perhaps, Keifer, it's because he's a doctor and you're a... what was it he called you, Jay? A 'High-Frequency Hover-Drone'?"
"Actually, Mamma," I giggled, patting Keifer's hand as he tried to adjust my blanket for the fifth time, "the official medical term Ci-N used was 'The Biggest Simp in the Database'."
"A 'Simp'?" Mamma tilted her head, a devious sparkle in her eyes. "Oh, my. Is that a 'System Error', Keifer? I thought you were the 'Ice King' of the Watson Empire. The man who 'Processes' emotions into 'Profit Margins'."
The "Hover-Mode" Roast
"I am 'Managing' the environment!" Keifer defended, his ears turning a very "Un-Alpha" shade of pink. "Jay is carrying the 'Double-Heirs'. The 'Security Protocol' must be 2,000%."
"Keif, honey," I leaned into him, looking up with a mock-serious face. "Mamma and I were just discussing your 'Symptom Log' from this morning. Did you really ask the nurse if the hospital floor was 'Non-Slip Certified' for my specific slipper brand?"
"It was a 'Safety Inquiry', Jay!"
"And did you," Mamma chimed in, "try to 'Authenticate' the doctor's stethoscope because you thought the 'Audio Quality' wasn't 'Watson-Standard'?"
Keifer opened his mouth to argue, but no words came out. He just looked at us—his mother and his wife—and realized he was trapped in a "Two-Front War."
"He did," I laughed, clutching my bump as the twins joined in on the fun with a few kicks. "Even Alexander and Aurora are 'Flagging' your behavior as 'Cringe', Hubby. Ci-N says you're 'Desyncing' from reality."
The "Ice King" Meltdown
"1,000%," Mamma agreed, reaching over to pat Keifer's cheek. "It's quite sweet, really. To see the great Keifer Watson reduced to a 'Buffer-Wheel' because his wife wants a taco or his best friend tells him he's overreacting. You've become a 'Human Heat-Sink', dear. You just absorb Jay's moods and turn them into 'Stress-Data'."
"I am not a 'Heat-Sink'!" Keifer growled, though he didn't move away. He actually leaned closer to me, his hand instinctively resting on the 8th-month curve of my stomach.
"Admit it, Hubby," I whispered, poking his chest. "You're the 'President of the Jay Watson Fan Club'. You have 'Simp-Level' Admin rights."
Keifer looked at me, then at Mamma, then back at me. He let out a long, defeated sigh and pulled me into his side. "Fine. If being 1,000% devoted to the 'Primary Asset' and her 'Heirs' makes me a 'Simp', then I will 'Optimize' the title. I'll be the most 'Efficient Simp' in the world."