The "Estrogen Empire" Coffee Hour: 9th Month Edition
[Jay's POV]
The men were currently in the "Tactical Command Center" (the garage), where Keifer was forcing Keigan, Keiran, and Felix to run a "30-Second Car-Seat Installation Drill." This left the four of us in the morning room for what had become a daily "System De-Brief."
Mamma Serina was elegantly pouring tea, while Bridget was aggressively peeling an orange, and Rina was sketching in her journal.
The "Watson Obsession" Glitch
"I had to 'Firewall' Keifer's access to my hospital bag this morning," I groaned, leaning back so the "Double-Heirs" could stretch. "I caught him trying to replace my comfortable slippers with 'Tactical All-Terrain Footwear'. He said the hospital tiles might have a 'Low-Friction Coefficient' during labor."
Bridget barked out a laugh. "That's nothing. Felix tried to give me a 'Performance Review' on my morning jog. He said my 'Stride-to-Breath Ratio' was down 15%. I told him if he didn't stop 'Monitoring' me, I'd show him a 'High-Velocity Strike' to the solar plexus."
Rina looked up, her cheeks a soft pink. "Keigan... he's been 'Beta-Testing' white noise machines in our room. He has a spreadsheet comparing the 'Frequency Waves' of 'Rainforest' versus 'Deep Space'. He told me 'Deep Space' would 'Optimize' my REM cycle."
The "Men of Watson" Comparison Chart
The Subject Current "Simp" Level Primary "Glitch"
Keifer (CEO) 2,000% (Maximum) Thinks "Romance" is a Security Protocol.
Keigan (Tech) 1,500% Tries to "Update" Rina's sleep.
Felix (Tactical) 1,200% Thinks "Date Night" requires a Perimeter Sweep.
Keizer (Legacy) 1,000% (Hidden) Pretends to be the Boss (Mamma knows better).
Mamma Serina's Legacy Wisdom
"You have to understand," Mamma Serina said, a graceful smirk playing on her lips. "Watson men don't know how to 'Process' love normally. To them, love is a 'Hostile Takeover' of their own logic. When your Pappa Keizer was waiting for Keifer to be born, he tried to 'Background Check' the entire electrical grid of the city. He wanted to make sure there wouldn't be a 'Power Outage' during the delivery."
"What did you do, Mamma?" Rina asked, wide-eyed.
"I told him if he didn't sit down and 'Log Off', I would 'Delete' his favorite vintage wine collection," Mamma winked. "He was 'Synced' and silent within five minutes."
The "Simp" Verdict
"It's the 'Ice King' energy," I added, glancing toward the window where I could see Keifer pointing aggressively at a car seat. "They act like they're 'Unbreakable Servers', but the moment we 'Request' something, their whole 'CPU' overheats."
"1,000%," Bridget agreed, tossing a piece of orange into her mouth. "They aren't CEOs; they're just 'Highly-Paid Concierges' for our whims."
Rina giggled, writing 'High-Frequency Simps' in the margin of her journal. "I think it's sweet. Keigan told me this morning that my 'Analog Glow' was his favorite 'Input'."
"Ugh, 'Input'?" I laughed. "Rina, honey, you've got to 'Re-program' that boy. He needs to learn that 'Glow' is a 'Biological Fact', not a 'Data Point'."
The "Entry" Warning
Suddenly, the heavy doors opened. The "Tactical Unit" entered, led by Keifer, who looked 1,000% serious.
"The car seats are installed with 'Military-Grade' precision," Keifer announced, heading straight for me to check my water level. "Why is there so much 'Phonetic Laughter' in this room? Are you 'Analyzing' our performance?"
I exchanged a look with the girls. Bridget smirked, Rina hid her journal, and Mamma just smiled innocently.
"We were just discussing your 'System Vulnerabilities', Hubby," I said, patting his cheek.
"I have no 'Vulnerabilities', Jay," Keifer declared, while simultaneously kneeling to check if my ankles were swollen.
"1,000% Simp," Bridget coughed into her hand.