Bidding farewell to Eve, Colossus gave Yukio a meaningful glance and walked out of the room, carrying Deadpool over his shoulder like a sack of very noisy potatoes.
Deadpool, of course, did not stay silent.
"Unhand me, shiny Russian statue! I have rights! I think. Somewhere. In some country."
Yukio made a small startled expression and quickly tiptoed after them, careful not to step on anything broken from earlier chaos.
Before leaving, she finally found a chance to greet Eve properly.
"Hi, Eve," she said sweetly. "I'm Yukio, Piotr's colleague."
Eve smiled, still a little pale from earlier events. "Hi, Yukio."
"Next time you're free, let's go shopping together! I'm off now!"
Exiting the room, Yukio grabbed the doorknob and waved brightly. "Bye, Eve!"
"Goodbye, Yukio."
Downstairs, reality returned in the form of heavy footsteps and louder complaints.
Colossus ignored the stream of creative insults coming from Deadpool and began to frisk him carefully. He checked every pocket, every fold of cloth, even the inside of his boots.
After confirming Deadpool was not hiding any obvious weapons in his civilian clothes, Colossus opened the back door of a large black SUV and forcefully shoved him inside.
Deadpool bounced once on the leather seat.
Then Colossus tossed the keys to Yukio without turning around. "Back to the School."
"Okay," Yukio replied obediently.
In truth, she had driven her own car there. But she had parked it a little further away to avoid suspicion. She was bold—but not reckless like Deadpool.
Deadpool adjusted himself in the back seat just in time to be crushed against the door as Colossus climbed in beside him.
"Oh, Piotr," Deadpool groaned dramatically, "you're so big."
"Listen, it's not that I don't appreciate your size. It's just not appropriate here. You're being a bit unfriendly."
Colossus's metal body shifted slightly closer.
"Your sneaking under my girlfriend's bed was far more unfriendly."
"Oh! Heavens! I'm flattened! I'm becoming modern art!"
Colossus finally leaned back. His metallic form shimmered and slowly returned to his normal human appearance.
The SUV started under Yukio's careful control and rolled out of the community.
"Listen, Piotr," Deadpool said, sitting up straight and crossing his legs as if he were about to host a talk show. "You should thank me. If it weren't for me, you would never have met Eve."
Colossus stared at him.
"And you wouldn't have scared her unconscious the moment she saw you. Then I wouldn't have had to spend half an hour explaining everything so she would reluctantly trust you."
Yukio quickly covered her mouth to hide her laughter.
Colossus shot her a look.
"None of that matters," Deadpool insisted, slapping Colossus's thigh. "Love is about results, not process! If the ending is good, who cares how chaotic the beginning was?"
Colossus looked out the window.
"Other couples remember how beautiful the scenery was when they first met. Or how meaningful the conversation felt."
He turned back slowly.
"My memory with Eve will always be the sound of a shattered door… and the moment she fainted."
Deadpool gasped, eyes wide.
"How romantic! Unique! Memorable! Oh my goodness, Piotr, you've restored my faith in love!"
Yukio's shoulders shook as she focused hard on driving.
Colossus exhaled slowly.
"Anyway, this time you are returning to the School with me. And you will stay."
Deadpool raised his cuffed hands suspiciously.
"What kind of handcuffs are these? Why can't I feel the keyhole?"
"They were specially prepared for you," Colossus replied calmly. "Electronic locks. They can only be opened with a sensor chip. And that chip is inside the School."
The message was clear.
No School, no freedom.
Deadpool shook his hands dramatically.
"Which evil genius invented these? I prefer classic metal cuffs. The romantic kind. The kind attached to a bed."
"I think these are better," Colossus said with visible satisfaction.
For once, he had the advantage.
"Sit still," he added.
Deadpool tilted his head.
"I've only ever heard women say that to me. This is a first."
The SUV sped along the road toward Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters in Westchester County.
The Hudson River flowed peacefully beside the road. The afternoon light shimmered on its surface.
Colossus stared out at the view, trying to block out Deadpool's endless commentary.
Maybe next time, he thought, he would bring Eve here by bus instead of driving. They could sit together by the window. He could put his arm around her shoulders.
Maybe she would not faint this time.
Behind him, Deadpool quietly flexed his fingers.
Something shimmered.
A short knife appeared in his palm as if pulled from empty space.
Yukio saw it in the rearview mirror. Her eyes widened.
Deadpool put a finger to his lips.
"Shhh."
Yukio pouted helplessly.
Deadpool mouthed silently: "Bye, Yukio."
She gave a small, resigned wave.
Without hesitation, Deadpool slashed across his own wrist.
The blade cut cleanly.
His hand fell free, still locked in the electronic cuff.
Before Colossus could react, Deadpool shoved open the door and leapt from the moving SUV.
By the time Colossus turned his head, there was only blood splattered across the back seat—and a severed hand still clamped inside the cuff.
Colossus closed his eyes.
He sighed deeply.
He was used to this.
Yukio asked softly, "Are we still going back to the School?"
"Yes," Colossus replied. "I need to wash the car."
He absolutely could not take it to a public car wash.
That would raise questions.
Meanwhile—
Deadpool rolled across asphalt, reattached his wrist in seconds, and activated the unstable power he often abused.
Instead of teleporting… he chose to jump dimensions.
The world twisted.
Sound stretched.
Color collapsed into streaks of blue and purple light.
Then—
Darkness.
When his vision returned, he was standing inside a narrow stone tunnel.
Dim yellow lights shaped like diamonds were fixed along the walls. The air smelled old—like dust and ancient secrets.
Deadpool scratched his head.
"Where did I land this time?"
It looked like a man-made cave.
"Should've used the teleport belt," he muttered. "Dimension hopping always ends weird."
His fourth-wall-breaking ability allowed him to return to places he once visited.
But it did not guarantee comfort.
Last time he tried to escape, he ended up right back in Colossus's car.
This time?
Unknown cave system.
"Great. No snacks. No Wi-Fi. Probably ghosts."
He looked left.
He looked right.
Then randomly chose a direction.
He walked for several minutes. The tunnel twisted and curved. The yellow lights flickered occasionally.
For a moment, he wondered if he was trapped in some kind of endless loop.
"Hello? Evil lair? Secret cult? Budget Batman cave?"
His voice echoed.
No response.
Then he turned a corner—
And the tunnel opened into a massive underground chamber.
Deadpool froze.
In the center of the chamber stood a towering metallic structure shaped like a twisted gateway.
Blue energy pulsed inside it like a heartbeat.
Ancient symbols covered the stone floor.
And standing before the machine—
A man in a long green cloak.
Metal mask.
Cold eyes.
Deadpool blinked.
"Oh no."
He recognized that posture.
That dramatic energy.
That "I have read too many philosophy books" stance.
Doctor Doom slowly turned.
"Who dares enter my domain?"
Deadpool raised both hands.
"Technically? Me. Accidentally."
The energy inside the machine flared brighter.
Doctor Doom's eyes narrowed.
"You reek of instability."
"Thank you. I moisturize."
Doom extended one armored hand toward the glowing gateway.
"This is a device beyond your understanding. It tears through time itself."
Deadpool's eyes widened.
Time.
Not space.
Time.
The machine pulsed again.
The air vibrated.
Deadpool felt the strange pull inside his bones.
Doctor Doom continued coldly.
"I am about to rewrite history."
Deadpool blinked.
Then smiled slowly.
"Oh. Oh no. You can't do that."
Doom tilted his head.
"And why not?"
Deadpool pointed at himself.
"Because if you rewrite history, I might become normal. And that would be tragic."
The gateway roared to life.
Blue lightning cracked across the chamber.
The floor trembled.
The time machine activated.
Energy spiraled outward violently.
Deadpool grabbed onto a stone pillar.
Doctor Doom stood firm, cloak whipping in the storm.
The gateway opened—
Not to another dimension.
But to another era.
Through the swirling vortex, Deadpool saw flashes—
Ancient battlefields.
Futuristic cities.
Ruined worlds.
And then—
A sudden explosion.
The machine destabilized.
Doctor Doom's eyes widened for the first time.
"No—!"
The vortex imploded.
A wave of energy blasted outward.
Deadpool was lifted off his feet.
Everything went white.
When he opened his eyes again—
The cave was gone.
The chamber was gone.
Doctor Doom was gone.
He was standing in the middle of a battlefield.
Smoke filled the air.
Broken shields lay scattered across the ground.
In the distance—
A massive armored figure raised a glowing gauntlet toward the sky.
Deadpool squinted.
"Oh no. Not him."
It was Thanos.
And judging by the sky's color and the destruction around him—
This was not the present.
This was the past.
Deadpool slowly turned toward the reader.
"Well."
He clapped his hands together.
"Looks like I just unlocked New Game Plus."
And somewhere, deep in the timeline—
History had begun to change.
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