Her whole body is shaking. Her jaws tremble, almost trying to scream.
As if I'm the same person who made her this way.
Nelly, they might look like me. But you would be disappointed to find out, though we share the same gender, we can't be the same monster. If every man were the exact copy of another, then everyone would have killed themselves.
So calm down if you can hear me.
She isn't calming down.
Because Nelly is not a mind reader.
And I haven't said a single word since our silence began a minute ago.
Thud.
That's her foot backing away, slowly vomiting Sohee out of her blanket. Her lips quivering, and you could see a string of saliva slipping out of her mouth.
"Why?"
Nelly mutters.
Small, careful voice as if only intended for Sohee to hear.
"Why are you doing this, Sohee? Did I do something wrong?"
"Ne—Nelly, listen."
Sohee jerks forward as if trying to hold Nelly so she doesn't slip away. She misses.
The blanket sways. Nelly spins around. A gust of anger blows in our face. The girl in the blanket makes her way behind the door.
She is nowhere to be seen now.
But her voice is still here.
"Please. Don't come here again."
To Sohee, she says.
Then pushes the door.
"Wait, Nelly," Sohee pleads, stretching her arms into the gap.
Sohee is smart, but unlike Shizuka, she is kind and considerate. Which, being one, sometimes makes you do something stupid.
First, the can hits the floor.
Clank.
Then, the door hits the flesh.
Smack.
And a girl in her school uniform whimpers.
Her sound is no louder than the others were. It is as if she doesn't want Nelly to hear it.
But she has to hear them, Sohee. Look, she thought it was something stuck between the door, and not someone. So she drives it harder, making the bite on your arm worse.
It is just torture at this point.
I almost feel bad for her.
… Almost?
Why is it… when Sohee, a girl who is always trying to help me, who is clearly in so much pain right now— why is it still empty? Do I have no empathy toward her?
This is wrong. It is unjust not to feel sorry for Sohee.
Maybe I should help her push the door off her arm.
—No!
Thousands of voices scream inside my head.
My body stops.
—Stay there and watch!
They are shouting again.
Stun my whole body. I can't move a single muscle.
So I stay, watching a girl whom I should care for, sucking up her tears.
"Nelly…"
The person whom Sohee called out is sobbing behind the door. "I trusted you, Sohee."
"Nelly… please understand—"
"You are the same as others. You want me to cry, is that right?"
"No, I—"
"Then why did you betray me?"
"Nelly, I never meant to betray you. Listen…"
Sohee is struggling to keep both her cries of pain and words out.
Hang in there, Sohee, I'm rooting for you. Fight off the pain. Tell her you don't mean to hurt her.
Stop her from chopping off your arm. It's better if you have two of them.
Sohee doesn't utter anything, probably because the pain has caught up her throat.
So what are we supposed to do now?
Just wait?
For what?
For who?
A saviour.
—"Sohee?"
A girl's voice… no, a woman's. One who is sweating as if she just had a fair share of sun today. Blue towel around her neck. A purple sports wrap is on her body—a flat chest.
A pair of green eyes, almost emerald.
Someone who looks like Nelly, but more mature. And not in a blanket. And doesn't look like she has been sobbing for years.
As soon as she sees where Sohee's arm is in… she runs to help.