I woke up in the afternoon and saw Jay cleaning up. He brought me a warm drink, then we hugged for a while before I fell back asleep. When I woke up again, it was almost four o'clock. The pain I felt when I first woke up was gone. Almost everything had disappeared, and I could move and get up more easily.
Looking around, I realized that all the things that had been scattered were now collected and tidied up.
"Jay?" I called out in surprise when I saw Jay kneeling on the floor. "What's wrong?"
"I'm sorry, I went too far last night. If only I could have controlled myself, Dan wouldn't be in pain and unable to ski. But because you were so adorable last night... and so sexy... I couldn't hold back. Still, I should have stopped, I shouldn't have pushed your body too much. If I had been more careful, you wouldn't be in pain like this. This is the first time we've done it that many times."
"That's true, but did I ever ask you to stop?" I answered honestly, "I wanted it too. Besides, it only made my body a little tired." I smiled, trying to reassure him. "I don't want you to feel like this. Don't kneel like that and feel guilty. Come here, hug me."
Jay shook his head, still feeling guilty.
"I wanted it too, so don't blame yourself too much. We were both happy, weren't we? When I wake up, I want to see you hugging me, not kneeling like that," I said while gently stroking his head. "We can still ski tomorrow, we still have a few days here. It's snowing very heavily outside. Could you take me for a walk?"
"You're not pushing yourself?"
"Oh, if I were pushing myself, I wouldn't ask you to accompany me."
"But the rain is very heavy."
"Hmm, we can borrow umbrellas from the hotel."
"Alright."
"I want to take a shower first." I pretended to try to get up, and as I expected, Jay immediately came to help me walk to the bathroom.
As soon as I took off my clothes, I was surprised when I saw myself in the mirror. There were many kiss marks on the back of my neck, collarbone, chest, down to my waist, even on my thighs. He had left so many marks on my body.
"You can't shower?"
"It's not that I can't, but I'm surprised. Usually there aren't this many."
"That's because we did it multiple times last night."
"Oh my."
"Does it hurt?"
"The marks don't hurt much. Jay, have you showered?"
"Yes. I'm just waiting for your bath water to be ready."
"What time did you wake up?"
"Ten o'clock."
"Aren't you tired?" I asked. Jay shook his head in response. I could only think that this kid was really strong. "But tonight we're not doing it again, okay."
"Huh?"
"Don't make that face. What we did yesterday is actually enough for a few days. You can't hold back, so give me time to rest."
Jay frowned, looking unhappy, but finally answered, "Alright."
"You're not upset?"
He shook his head slightly. "I understand, I won't do it as much as yesterday. Just a few times, but it's better to do it every day."
After finishing my shower, I wrapped myself in a thick coat again to fight against the cold air outside. I reached for Jay's arm and hugged him. We went out to see the city covered in white snow.
"I want to eat hot ramen, how about it?"
"Alright."
We stopped at a small ramen shop. While waiting for our order to arrive, someone asked to take a photo with Jay. He said he had watched Jay's previous fight and then became a fan. The person couldn't believe that Jay was more handsome in person than in photos, and also said that his boyfriend was very cute. After thanking them, they left.
"Great, you have fans in Japan," I said with a smile, but Jay frowned.
"Why?" I asked.
"He said my boyfriend is cute," Jay replied in an unhappy tone.
"Oh."
"And, Tiger always says that he has a hard time deciding whether to upload photos of Nao. He wants to show him off, but he also doesn't want others to see how cute Nao is. Now I understand that feeling," he said seriously. "From now on, I will blur Dan's face... but if I blur it, others won't know it's Dan. How can I show you off or say that you belong to me?"
"That's a difficult problem to solve."
"Can I blur just half of your face?"
"Which half?" I asked.
"The upper part, around the forehead and eyes," Jay pointed to his forehead.
"I'm not a criminal on the news whose face needs to be blurred or eyes censored," I laughed. "If so, do it on this half," I divided my face with my hand. "Left or right, but that would look weird."
"That would look like I'm mocking you if I did that," Jay pouted.
Our conversation stopped when the ramen arrived. I immediately started eating.
"Mmmm, the broth is delicious. Aren't you eating?"
"I've decided."
"What?"
"I'm going to upload photos of Dan like this. Let the world know that my boyfriend is very cute."
"Whatever. You're really good at complimenting."
Jay was silent for a moment before saying, "I really treasure what's mine."
I couldn't help but smile, he was really adorable. I pinched his cheek because he was too cute. We finished our ramen and continued walking. We shopped and tried sweet foods. Japan has so many delicious foods.
When passing a bookstore, I couldn't resist going in. Has my ability to read Japanese become rusty? Could I still read it if I bought a book? I decided to buy one book to read before bed.
"Do you want something?" I asked Jay. He shook his head.
"I'll buy this one," I showed him the book.
"What kind of book is it?"
"A mystery novel. It's short, so it won't take long to read. I want to see if I can still read Japanese."
"Alright."
"And you? You haven't used Japanese for a long time. Do you think you've forgotten?"
He shook his head.
"Oh, really?"
"Yes."
"Then, let's read together tonight. There's not much to do tonight. Or do you want to do something else?"
"...I want to go to the onsen and make love."
I immediately covered his mouth.
"What are you saying? We're in public." I sighed and released my hand.
"Sorry, that was unintentional."
"It's okay."
"It's probably because I really want to do it."
"...Let me rest."
"Yes, we've agreed, I won't complain."
"Alright."
We continued walking, taking some photos. As night fell, the air grew colder, so we returned to the hotel. First, we warmed ourselves. After showering and changing clothes, we read together. While reading, I remembered some vocabulary that I had forgotten. Some words didn't immediately come to mind, but Jay understood everything, as he had said.
"You haven't used Japanese for a long time. How can you still remember everything?"
"I don't know, I just remember it."
I nodded, understanding, and we continued reading until we finished. After that, we fell asleep. I quickly dozed off in his embrace, feeling warm and comfortable. Early in the morning, we woke up to ski as planned. Yesterday it snowed heavily, but today it didn't. The sun was shining brightly, perfect weather for skiing.
We changed our clothes and put on equipment. We queued with other beginners to listen to instructions from the ski coach. He warned us not to enter areas marked with danger signs. After that, we started practicing. I used poles to move slowly and carefully. Jay watched me. I was about to ask if he wasn't going to ski, but suddenly I slipped and fell face first into the snow. Jay immediately ran over to me.
"Are you okay, Dan?"
"Yes, the snow is soft. Please help me." I extended my hand, and Jay pulled me up.
"How can you immediately ski so well? You said you had never done it before."
"It's not difficult."
"You're good at everything!" I said before trying again. I fell about two or three times before starting to get used to it. Wherever I went, Jay was always near me, afraid that I would fall again.
"Jay, look! I'm starting to get the hang of it!"
"Yes, Dan is very good."
"Want to race?"
"No, that's dangerous."
"Oh, then let's go over there."
"Okay."
After a while, I saw a bell being rung by people. I said to Jay, "Jay, they say that bell can grant wishes."
"Like when we made merit?"
"Something like that. People believe in it. Are you interested?"
"No, but if Dan wants to, let's go."
"Hmm, what wish should I make? Ah, may you become champion."
"...I believe that becoming champion depends on myself."
"Haha, that's true. Then, may Jay always love me."
Jay frowned. "You should ask me directly. Why ask the bell?"
"So there's something sacred that inspires you to never stop loving me."
"I will never stop loving Dan," he said seriously. "Are you worried?"
"No, I was just joking." I smiled and decided not to ring the bell because I didn't know what to wish for.
We skied until we were satisfied, then returned the equipment and took a bus to a temple.
"This time, at the temple, I know what I'll ask for," I said as we got on the bus.
"What?"
"I'll ask for health and strength for everyone, so no one gets sick."
"Yes. Should we ask in Japanese?"
"I think so."
The main reason I came to this temple was because I had seen photos of it and the place was very beautiful. When we arrived, we walked in. Everything was covered in snow, from the paths to the pine trees.
"Let's take a photo," I took out my phone for a selfie. Just then, I got a notification from Nao asking how we were doing. I sent him the photo we had just taken.
This temple was old, with wooden buildings. It felt like being in an anime I had watched with Nao.
"Oh, Jay, suddenly I want to ask something."
"What?"
"Let's say we live in an anime about reincarnation in another world, okay?"
"Mhm."
"If you entered another world, what would you do?"
"What would I do?"
"Hmm, maybe become a hero who has to defeat the demon king."
"I would do the same thing as here. I would look for Dan."
"What if after training and fighting hard, you found out that I was the demon king? What would you do?"
"I would still stay with you."
"Haha, but you're a hero. You have to defeat me."
"Then, I would switch sides. Jay would help Dan rule the world."
"People in that world would definitely be angry at you."
"That doesn't matter."
I smiled at his answer. Not long after, we arrived at the temple. We made wishes, took some photos, and ate. After that, we went to a chocolate factory. Nao had suggested that I come here because he said the sweets were very delicious, so I included it in my travel plans.
When we arrived, I looked around with interest. From my research, this place was a themed park that felt like an amusement park. The place was spacious and had many areas. During winter, the lights were on, and I wanted to stay until dusk to see them. We bought tickets and entered. First, we looked at various exhibits such as glass collections and information boards about the history of chocolate.
"Jay, want to watch this? It's a video about revolutions in chocolate history, it's about thirty minutes long."
"Yes."
"Seriously?"
Jay nodded again, so I took him to watch the video. Thirty minutes full of history.
When we came out, Jay said, "Dan really likes history."
"Because I'm a bookworm."
"Yes, Nao mentioned that too."
We continued the tour and arrived at the factory where chocolate was made. We observed the production process from above. I watched with interest, then we continued exploring. Outside, there was a train that circled the entire factory area. Initially, I wanted to ride it, but seeing the long queue, I decided that walking and exploring would be more fun. There was a children's area with everything in miniature versions, a clock tower, and finally, a workshop for decorating desserts.
"Since we're here, want to try?" I asked.
"Yes," Jay answered as usual. We were given aprons and hats, making us feel like bakers, although we were just decorating cakes with cream. On the table, cakes and various decorating tools were already prepared. Other participants had already started decorating their cakes. I didn't have a design in mind yet, and even if I did, I wasn't sure I could draw it well.
To be honest... I'm really bad at drawing. I glanced at Jay and saw he had already started applying cream on top of his cake.
"What design are you making?" I asked.
"Dan."
"My face? Or just my name?"
"Both our faces."
"Wow, I want to see!"
"And you?"
"Hmm, let me think first." I stared at the plain chocolate cake in front of me for a moment, then decided to make a Christmas theme. I searched for a simple Christmas tree image on the internet and tried to copy it. "I already have a tree. Now I'll add snow with white cream. But my hands are starting to get stiff."
"I'll massage them later," he said while still focusing on his cake. I glanced and saw the result. Jay had drawn two male faces: one with a smile, while the other had a neutral expression, just a straight line for a mouth.
"This is cute, really looks like us."
"I'll add flowers for Dan."
"Flowers?"
"When Dan smiles, it feels like there are flowers blooming around you."
"Really? And you?"
"Because I love Dan, I'll draw hearts in my eyes, so it looks like I'm looking at you with love."
"Haha, you're so adorable." I smiled widely because I felt touched. I finished decorating snow on his cake and then watched Jay who was still busy. The result was really cute, making my heart flutter. My face was adorned with flowers around it, and Jay's eyes were heart-shaped. I couldn't resist taking a photo and uploading it to Instagram with the caption:
"Jay made this. He said flowers bloom every time I smile. I love how he looks at me with heart-shaped eyes. My boyfriend is SO ADORABLE."
"I really like it when Dan uses the word 'my boyfriend,'" he said while peeking at my phone screen. "Why not upload yours too?"
"I..." I sighed.
"I also drew Jay."
"Really?"
"But I don't think it will look good."
"Please draw it," he asked. So I tried to draw his face, and the result... was terrible.
"Is that me?"
"Sorry, I've always been bad at drawing."
"It's fine. I think it still looks like me," he said while mimicking the expression in my drawing, with blinking eyes and a weird grin. I couldn't help but laugh.
"Do you think it looks like you?"
Jay took a photo of his cake. "Can I upload it?"
"Okay."
Shortly after, the decorating time was over. We put the cakes in boxes and left the workshop. By then it was evening, and the lights began to illuminate the entire place. The Christmas decorations looked so stunning. I looked at them with great interest.
"It's beautiful, Jay."
"Yes, very nice. I've never heard you compliment yourself, but I agree."
"I'm not complimenting myself, I'm complimenting the lights."
"Oh, I see."
Jay continued following me. The decorative lights formed various shapes: large and small Christmas trees, snowmen, and colorful ornaments. I just realized that Jay had been secretly taking photos of me without me noticing.
"Candid photos?"
"Dan is very beautiful."
"Let me see." I looked at the photo. "Here I really look like I'm daydreaming, with my eyes closed. But this one is good." I handed the camera back to him.
"In this photo, you look like Nao."
"What do you mean? We do look alike," I laughed, and Jay shook his head.
"Only from some angles. But Dan is more beautiful."
"What? Sometimes people can't even tell us apart."
"At a glance yes, but Dan is smaller, slimmer, and more beautiful."
"You mean shorter."
"Small."
"Alright. Nao always says he's handsome. When we were little, we looked very similar, but as we grew up, we became different because Nao became more handsome."
"Oh, I see."
We continued walking and taking photos from various angles. The decorative lights here were the most beautiful I had ever seen.
"Do you like it?"
"Yes, very beautiful."
"I'm glad you like it. Of the places we visited today—skiing, the temple, and this place—which one did you like the most?"
"The onsen."
"That wasn't one of the options!" I punched his arm lightly while holding up three fingers. "Choose one of these three."
"This place."
"Because Dan likes it. Watching the video, decorating the cake, and now seeing these lights."
"You like it because I like it?"
"Because Dan's happiness is my happiness."
"I see." I didn't ask further. Initially, I wanted Jay to find something he liked for himself, but he considered everything about me. I had consulted with Dr. TonFah, and he said it was fine. If Jay found happiness in me, then I should be happy so that he would be happy too. That's his way of living life, and that's his choice. "I'm happy because you're happy."
Jay smiled. "Yes."
"It seems we've seen everything. Let's head back."
"Let's go."
We returned to the hotel, showered, changed clothes, and ate the cakes we had decorated together.
"Jay doesn't want to eat."
"You should eat. Tomorrow we're moving to a new hotel, it will be difficult to bring it."
"But Dan made it with a lot of effort."
"If there's anything to regret, I'm more sorry about eating yours. It's far more beautiful than mine."
"..." Jay pouted.
"Come on, I tried hard, you should eat too."
"Alright," Jay finally agreed.
We slept, and the next day, we checked out of the hotel to visit another city. While
walking, I saw a board full of small notes. Most of them said, "I will come back here."
I also wanted to write something, so I took a pen and paper from the desk.
いつかまたここでジェイデンと一緒に雪を見ることができますように.
(Hopefully someday I can see the snow here again with Jayden.)
J&D
"We will definitely come back," Jay suddenly said after I finished writing.
"Hmm?"
"Someday, we will come here together again."
"Really?"
"I will go anywhere with Dan."
"Yes," I smiled and stuck the note on the board. Then, I saw a note next to it that read:
初恋は絶対に報われないよ (First love will never succeed.)
ば初恋と言うはできない (If it succeed, it can't be called first love.)
Maybe the person who wrote it was heartbroken? But then there was another note from Jayden below it that replied:
そんなじゃないよ.(That's not true.)
"Why?" I asked.
"Because I succeeded."