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Searching for emotion

laylaniekerk
7
chs / week
The average realized release rate over the past 30 days is 7 chs / week.
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Synopsis
In a village bound by tradition and sealed from the outside world, Rin grows up as an outcast—feared, resented, and blamed for a past no one will explain. Despite his isolation, he possesses a frightening natural talent for combat, one that finally erupts when he defeats his own uncle in the sacred Tamashii no Kettō duel. But victory brings no acceptance. Instead, Rin’s triumph exposes the fragile pride of his family and the hypocrisy of the dojo that raised him. Branded as a disgrace yet forced to represent them in the prestigious prefectural tournament, Rin chooses a different path—leaving behind the only home he’s ever known to chase a purpose far greater than family legacy or reputation. As he departs under the falling rain, old bonds stir, buried memories surface, and the truth becomes clear: Rin isn’t running away. He’s stepping onto the path that will decide who he truly becomes.
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Chapter 1 - Tamashii no ketto

Chapter 1 tamashii no ketto

I didn't want to be here.

I didn't want to fight.

But if I let this chance slip, I would never leave this place.

That thought lingered in the darkness of my mind, drowning beneath a rising tide of sound. Whispers. Murmurs. Rumors spreading like wildfire through the village streets. Some voices trembled with excitement, others burned with rage, anger, envy—perhaps all of them at once.

One thing, however, was certain.

No one expected the weaker side to win.

The streets leading to the dojo were packed with people when two children came sprinting through the crowd—a boy and a girl, their faces flushed with excitement.

"Come on, hurry!" the boy shouted, weaving between villagers. "We have to get there before the Tamashii no Kettō starts—no, before it ends!"

They pushed forward until the massive dojo came into view, already overflowing with students and civilians alike. Without slowing down, the two slipped inside, dodging shoulders, squeezing between bodies, turning sideways just to move forward.

After several frantic moments, they finally broke through into the arena.

"Yes!" the boy exclaimed, grinning from ear to ear. "We made it in time!"

He turned toward the girl. "You won't regret coming here with me. I promise."

The girl bent over slightly, hands on her knees, panting heavily. She shot him an annoyed look.

"It better be worth it. I haven't run this fast in years."

The boy laughed, grabbed her wrist, and pulled her along.

"Just wait and see! Now come on—we need seats before they're all taken!"

They forced their way through once more, eventually squeezing into two open spots near the edge of the arena.

"Alright," the boy said excitedly, leaning forward. "Cool, right?"

The girl stared at the ring. "…I don't know. I still don't see what's so cool about this."

"Huh?" The boy clicked his tongue dramatically. "Not cool? How dare you. Tsk. That's the mind of a woman, I suppose."

She sighed, clearly unimpressed.

"Anyway, who are those guys again?"

The boy nearly jumped out of his seat.

"What?! Who are they? Didn't I just tell you?"

"You did," she replied flatly.

He sighed loudly and pointed toward the ring.

"Look. See the guy on the right?"

"Yeah."

"That's Rin. Second son of the headmaster—and the most hated person in the entire family. Everyone calls him scum."

"Oh." The girl nodded, uninterested. "I see."

"Aren't you gonna ask why?" he pressed.

"Meh."

He frowned, then quickly brightened.

"And he's fighting Brother Saburo."

"Oh, I know who Brother Saburo is, Kai," she said, rolling her eyes.

But Kai ignored her.

"Look! The duel's starting!"

In the center of the ring, Rin stood opposite his opponent, dressed in a plain white training robe. A wooden sword rested loosely in his hand as he rolled his wrist, the weapon spinning effortlessly.

He took his stance.

A faint black glow flickered in his left eye, while a cold white light shimmered in his right—both fixed on the man before him.

Brother Saburo smirked arrogantly. Towering at over six feet tall, his muscular frame radiated confidence.

"Well, would you look at that," Saburo scoffed. "The scumbag actually thinks he can defeat me. I'm shocked beyond belief."

He swung his wooden sword once, the force sending a sharp gust of wind through the arena before settling into his stance.

"You may have had some talent when you were younger," he continued, "but that's nothing compared to the experience I've built over the years."

The referee raised his hand.

The duel began.

For a brief moment, both fighters locked eyes.

Then Rin moved.

In a single step, he closed the distance.

Saburo's eyes widened in shock—far too late.

A dull impact echoed through the dojo as Rin's wooden sword struck Saburo's stomach, sending him flying backward. Saburo skidded across the floor before dropping to one knee, his sword barely keeping him upright as he gasped for air.

He clenched his teeth and looked up.

Rin stood over him, expression cold and empty.

"It's best of three," Rin said calmly. "Get up."

Silence fell over the arena.

The onlookers stared, stunned, struggling to process what they had just seen.

"…What just happened?" someone whispered.

"Oh," another replied slowly. "Rin won the first round."

"…Oh."

A heartbeat passed.

"WAIT—RIN WON?!"

The realization spread like an explosion. The dojo erupted into frantic whispers and shocked murmurs, all of them asking the same question:

How?

The dojo erupted into confusion.

"That's impossible…"

"I knew he had talent when he was younger, but this—this is just—"

The speaker trailed off, words dying in his throat as shock overtook him. Around him, voices overlapped, each trying and failing to explain what they had just witnessed. Eyes darted back to the ring, then to one another, searching for logic where none seemed to exist.

Kai, however, was barely holding himself together.

He covered his mouth, shoulders shaking as he stifled his laughter.

Beside him, his sister Mia glanced over with a bored expression.

"Oh," she said slowly, a faint smile forming. "Now I see why you dragged me here."

She let out a soft chuckle. "You already knew how this duel would turn out, didn't you?"

Kai finally exhaled the breath he had been holding and nodded eagerly.

"That's right," he said, eyes gleaming. "And the best part? Watching the faces of all these idiots who were so sure Rin would lose."

He giggled again, clearly enjoying himself.

Mia grimaced. "Gross. That's seriously messed up."

She sighed dramatically. "Honestly… the mind of a man really is childish."

Kai ignored her entirely, his gaze fixed on the ring with open admiration as the second round prepared to begin.

Brother Saburo struggled to straighten himself.

His legs trembled beneath him as he pushed off the wooden floor, confusion flooding his thoughts.

How…?

How is that brat so strong?

He clenched his jaw. He hadn't expected that blow—certainly not that kind of force. As he finally stood upright, his eyes locked onto Rin, caution now replacing arrogance.

The whispers reached him.

"…He might actually lose."

"Did you see that speed?"

"Is Rin really about to defeat Brother Saburo?"

A vein bulged along Saburo's temple.

His expression twisted as irritation burned through him. He took a step forward and scoffed.

"Not bad," he said loudly.

The crowd's attention snapped back to him.

"I went easy on you because you're my nephew, Rin," Saburo continued, his voice rising. "Don't misunderstand what just happened."

The dojo buzzed with renewed excitement, relief washing over the onlookers as the pieces finally fell into place.

"That's it!"

"Brother Saburo was holding back!"

"Yeah, obviously!"

"He wouldn't lose to scum like Rin!"

Saburo felt it instantly—the shift in atmosphere.

A twisted grin crept across his face.

Good, he thought. My honor is restored.

Now… let's add more fuel to the fire.

"And besides," he sneered, eyes narrowing, "I just so happened to slip right before the duel started."

He leveled his gaze at Rin, venom dripping from every word.

"So don't get it twisted. You're not special. You're still just a worthless piece of trash."

The murmurs grew louder.

The tension thickened.

As the crowd clung desperately to their delusions, Rin stood in silence.

His gaze remained fixed on his opponent, dark blue eyes devoid of emotion. Thoughts drifted slowly through his mind.

I never wanted to be here.

Nor did I ever want to fight.

In the end, it didn't matter.

The outcome will always be the same.

A faint black and white glow bled into the air around him as he shifted into his stance.

Brother Saburo clicked his tongue, irritation etched across his face.

"You're awfully confident for a piece of scum," he sneered.

"I'll let you do the honors again," the referee announced. "Begin."

The tension snapped instantly.

The two locked eyes.

I was caught off guard by his speed the first time, Saburo thought. But this time—

Pain exploded across his left shoulder.

The thought shattered.

A violent jolt surged through his arm as Rin's wooden sword struck with terrifying precision. Saburo gasped, his grip failing as the weapon slipped from his fingers and clattered against the floor.

"What—?!" he barked, staggering sideways, clutching his arm.

How?

How is he faster than before?

His breathing grew uneven.

How can a seventeen-year-old hit this hard?!

Anger surged through him as he lifted his head—

And froze.

Rin was standing there.

Looking down at him.

The anger evaporated.

Fear crept in, cold and suffocating.

The world around Saburo suddenly collapsed into darkness. Absolute black. No sound. No color. His vision drained as if reality itself were being swallowed.

Then he saw them.

Two colossal figures emerged from the void—serpentine dragons, towering beyond comprehension. One was pitch black, its form devouring light. The other shone pure white, radiant and merciless.

They coiled around him.

Watching.

Judging.

Between them stood Rin.

His face was obscured, swallowed by shadow. Only his eyes were visible.

A violent black glow burned in his left eye.

A cold white light pierced from his right.

Saburo's knees buckled.

A strangled gasp escaped his lips as terror overwhelmed his senses. His body gave out completely, collapsing to the floor as consciousness slipped away.

Silence consumed the dojo.

Then—

Brother Saburo fell.

His body hit the wooden floor with a dull thud, unmoving.

The crowd stared in disbelief.

"…He passed out."

"Brother Saburo… lost?"

"What was that…?"

Rin stood alone in the ring, his wooden sword resting calmly at his side.

The black and white light faded.

And without another word, the duel was over.

And Rin stood there in silence.