If there's anything haru has learned in his six years since he moved to Seattle, it's that the rain here never stops. Waking up to the patter against his window is so commonplace now that haru hardly notices it. He just rolls out of bed, brushes down the mess that is his hair, and trudges into his kitchen where his coffee machine auto-brews his daily dose of energy.
It's not even light outside, what little sun there is still hidden by thick clouds. Looks like he'll be driving down the I-5 through another blanket of cold grey. Maybe as the rain settles, fog will roll in. Fog has always calmed haru.
He finishes a quick breakfast and shower, tugging on a peacoat before he grabs his umbrella , Coffee to go, glasses cleaned and propped on his nose, and messenger bag slung across his body.
This particular semester , his resolution is to stop being an early bird and just start doing things on the go. Staying late is easier when he needs to, but mornings have never been his specialty. Even if he's walking into class at the last minute, he doesn't really care. Half his students rush in as soon as the clock strikes the hour anyway. The other half come and go as they please, like class is just a free-for-all.
They won't even notice.
He takes a sip of his coffee as he steps inside his office building, the handle of his umbrella pressed to his stomach so he can pull it shut with one hand. Like most days, he passes by fellow professors, giving them brief nods of acknowledgment but never stopping to talk.
If he can help it, he tries not to spend too much time chatting. Haru knows he is here for work, not socializing. The more time he spends talking, the less time he has to dedicate to grading and lesson plans, which then results in less time to sleep. And that's what really matters.
Coffee cup abandoned on his desk, haru drops into his chair and spins it to stare out the window. It's still pouring down outside, clouds hanging over the university campus, cherry blossom trees waiting for spring before they can show their colors.
This is nothing new to him. Even before coming to Seattle and acquiring his job in the University of Washington History Department, growing up in New York taught him one thing: how to fully prepare to spend every day drowning in rain.
He loves the rain. He especially loves storms, but sometimes it feels a little too parallel to his own moods. Grey, dreary, predictable, but with a real storm always brewing underneath, always at a distance, an arm's length.
Haru sighs, eyes closed as he tips his head back on his chair. Sometimes it's tempting to just call out sick and not show up to work at all. It feels like all he does anymore is work and sleep, and yet he feels like he hasn't slept a minute since he first set foot into a university.
Someone whistles, and he spins his chair again to see Arthur my good friend who is a Gender and Sexuality professor in the philosophy department standing in the doorway. He's one of the few people haru has genuinely connected with since they started working together. Sometimes it's nice to just sit and chat with him. Whatever issue someone has going on in their life, Arthur is sure to have a unique perspective on it.
"Morning, Arthur," haru says. "Stopping by for something? Or just to talk?"
"I was just talking to Rose and saw you pass by. Thought I'd say hi," Arthur says as he waltzes over to a chair and drops into it. "How's the semester going so far?"
"It's only been two weeks and I have students who are already behind on assignments. Don't even ask me how," haru says, earning a laugh from Arthur . haru slouches in his chair, hands crossed on his stomach as he glances outside again. "It's supposed to rain all week."
Arthur groans. He's not used to this kind of weather. Not at this rate anyway. He moved to the U.S. eight years ago, but the first six of those were spent in California. Unlike haru , he hasn't spent the last two decades in a perpetual thunderstorm.
"I know. And kang is visiting this weekend so we're going to have to do all our plans in shitty weather," Arthur says with a sigh. "Should probably put off the whale watching until another time. Not like we haven't already put it off for two years now."
haru chuckles. "Reschedule that for when he visits next summer or something. May or June is a good time for that. Oktoberfest is going on right now. It'll still be rainy, but lots of places to hide under canopies there. Or the Starbucks Reserve Roastery is always nice to hang out in on a rainy day. Great coffee, really cool looking place, actually."
"If you ever get sick of being a professor, you should become a tour guide," Arthur says as he drums his hands on the arms of his chair. "I'll keep that all in mind. Maybe you can give me more ideas over lunch? I was thinking about getting Thai today."
"Sure," haru says, then pauses as Arthur stares back at him, lips pursed. There's something he isn't saying. "Is everything alright?"
His friend shifts in his chair, cagey about whatever is bothering him. Finally, he seems to give up on whatever attempt he was going to make at lying.
Better off that way. He's a terrible liar.
"I'm worried about things with kang," Arthur says, and haru immediately sits up straighter. "He's felt more distant lately and I can't figure out what's going on. I'm just worried. We've been long-distance for years now without much issue, but suddenly he's like a ghost."
haru sheds his jacket and leans forward on his desk. "Well, he's been busy lately, right?" he asks. It's like an instinct to want to appease and comfort Arthur . It's not often he sees his dear friend sad, and it feels wrong, like this isn't meant to happen to someone like him. "You said he's dealing with that merger right now? He's probably just distracted and tired."
"Yeah. Maybe," Arthur says, but he sounds defeated already. He's never one to give up easily, so either it's worse than he's letting on or he wants out.
And haru knows Arthur would never want out of this relationship. He's never seen anyone more in love.
"Arthur , if I know anything about kang, it's that he extremely loves you more than anything and he would be just as devastated as you if you two ever broke up but god forbid though," haru says as he reaches across the desk. He doesn't reach out to Arthur , though, simply tapping on the desk instead to emphasize his words with a soft smile . "I know that it's not the most fun reunion conversation to have, but you should tell him what's worrying you when he's here."
Arthur runs his hands over his face as he groans. "You're right. I don't know why I'm being such a chicken about it."
"It's scary," haru says with a shrug. "To think that the person you love might be drifting, wondering what will happen if you ask them about it, wondering if asking will make it worse. Doubting yourself all the time and wondering if you're just imagining it. It's that dilemma we all find ourselves in at some point we rip the bandaid off now in case there is something wrong, or let it fester to avoid pain now and end up with a whole lot more hurt later on."
Arthur sighs again, loud and long as he sinks into his chair and stares at the storm brewing outside. "You're right. If there is something going on, we need to talk about it now."
"Not that I'm a relationship expert or anything. But sometimes I think looking from the outside in makes it easier to see the best path forward," haru says with a snort at himself as he sits back in his chair again. Arthur 's eyes snap back to him and he leans forward, suddenly more perky.
"We do need to find you a boyfriend."
haru slowly shakes his head. "No, thank you. I'm good. I don't need that in my life. I can't even justify adopting a cat right now."
"Cats are way more work. Boyfriends don't need litter boxes and constant feeding," Arthur says with a snap of his fingers. "At least, I hope not."
Eyes rolling, haru shoos Arthur away from his desk. "Go. We both have class to get to. We can talk more over lunch if you need."
"Alright, alright," Arthur says as he throws his hands into the air. "But we're talking about getting you a boyfriend for real this time ."
"We're not."
"Oh, we are. And I'm getting kang in on it too."
"I'm sure that will be a lovely bonding experience for you two," haru jokes, then points at his office door. "Begone."
Arthur leaves with an evil laugh, shutting the door behind himself. As soon as his office is silent again, haru closes his eyes once more and listens to the patter of the rain.
He's already tired and the day just started. Maybe next summer he'll take a vacation. God knows he needs it.
For now, class time.
The shuffling of papers and thumping of books on desks fills the room as haru lays out his own lecture notes at the front of the class.Amelia , his teaching assistant, already sits at the front and sorts through papers. She smiles at him, hair a little more frazzled than usual, thick rimmed glasses sliding down her nose.
"Hey," she says. "I've just been handing back the discussion questions from last week to anyone who showed up early. And," she shows him another stack of papers, "here are the printouts you asked for with today's questions. Do you want me to hand them out now?"
"Yeah, might as well let everyone get an idea of what to focus on now," haru says. Better note-taking that way. The students will know what's most important, what topics they need to try their best to understand.
As everyone begins to settle in, haru grabs his seating chart from his desk and heads for the closest desk ,the same one he always starts with. He tries his best to smile when the student looks up from his phone and takes the chart to sign off on his attendance.
haru tries not to have biases in his classes, but he can't help himself with some students. And this student in particular has always been a bit of a grey area for haru . He can't decide if he likes him or not.
kenji Leo is both a professor's greatest dream and worst nightmare. A student who works his ass off, writes the best essays, puts in real effort, and always brings new and interesting viewpoints to the table, but also a loudmouth and a know-it-all brat.
Seattle's shining star, kenji Leo . The international student who took the place by storm after being scouted for the soccer team, then wiped the field with his own teammates. kenji Leo with the tattoos, earrings, lip and eyebrow piercings, and every other essential in the fuckboy starter set. kenji Leo , who charms every professor, definitely buys beer for underage frat party-goers, and gets away with everything.
And everyone watches him with hearts in their eyes while he just waltzes around the campus like he owns it.
kenji Leo who comes to haru about every little comment he leaves on his essays and interrogates haru about why he didn't like what he wrote. kenji Leo , with the audacity to question haru when he, the youngest professor in his department, tells Leo he hasn't quite grasped whatever concept they're discussing this week.
He had Leo in his History of Sex class last spring and, no, he was never blind to the way Leo would look at him from his front row seat, lip between his teeth, as haru lectured on Medieval sexual acts and the changes in attitude towards such acts throughout history.
Leo always seemed to get stuck focusing on the acts part, though, and he was the type of student to answer with jokes whenever haru would ask the class a question. The worst part was, even when joking he always made good points, so haru couldn't really take him down a notch for getting anything wrong. Having unbearably smart, witty students is a blessing and a curse.
So when haru saw his name on the list for his Theatre as a Site of History and Memory class this quarter, he damn near cried. He knew then that it meant another quarter of unnecessary office visits and pointless debates, and he knows now that his assumption was right. Leo has made a point of getting noticed every day of class so far.
"Who remembers where we left off last class?" haru asks as he turns to the whiteboard, already beginning to scribble down his final thoughts from their previous lecture. There's a pause, so haru glances over his shoulder and adds, " Leo , since I know you're about to answer anyway, where did we leave off?"
There are chuckles throughout the class and when haru glances back again, he can now see Leo grinning. He's always proud of himself when he gets the attention he wants.
"The early years of kabuki versus how different it is today." Leo pretends to think for a moment, though haru knows that he probably has the most thorough notes in class and could tell haru the exact final word he said in their last lecture. "Specifically, I think you were asking us about why an art form created by women, primarily for women, is almost exclusively male now."
haru nods. "That's correct," he says, eyes drifting to the rest of the class. "And does anyone have an answer for that yet? If you did the reading, you should."
"Because the shogun at the time believed that the sensuality of the dances was harmful to the public's morals, so women were banned from performing it anymore," Leo pipes up again, and haru just lets him continue. He might as well. There's no chance Leo would shut up even if haru told him to. "Kabuki performers were also often suspected of being involved in sex work on the side, which was probably the main reason for banning them, even if they didn't say it out loud."
"Correct again," haru says as he turns to write a few notes on the board. "But why, if this is something that came into effect all the way back in 1629, are women still rarely involved in it?"
"I think the idea of women in kabuki became so intertwined with the idea of sex work, which a lot of society still considers shameful, that it's become a bit of a taboo for women to perform it," Leo says as haru turns to face him again. "They probably avoid it out of fear of being associated with something a lot of people consider to be… morally reprehensible."
haru moves to sit on his desk. He rolls his sleeves up, marker in hand as Leo beams at him. He always looks so smug just because he can answer a few questions. Smug because he's just doing what he's supposed to do.
"Do I need to call on specific students this quarter?" haru asks, a half smile on his lips when Leo slouches in his seat, legs stretched out in front of his desk as he spins his pen. Those words earn a groan from the rest of the class, and haru glances around at them. "I guess the class would rather you answer everything."
"Perfect," Leo says, then spins his pen again. "I like impressing my professors anyway."
haru ignores that and begins scribbling down notes on the board again, continuing his lecture as his students rush to keep up with him. Thankfully, Leo isn't the only student to answer his questions or participate in the discussion for the rest of class.
This class has been particularly responsive. Better than most he's had. And far better than his History of Sex class. For a bunch of grown ass adults, that class sure was hesitant to talk about sex.
Except for him—kenji fucking leo.
As haru dismisses his class, saying goodbye until Thursday, he catches sight of Leo finally flipping over his discussion questions from last week. A frown works onto his lips as his eyes scan haru 's notes, clearly displeased with it all.
It's not like haru was particularly harsh with him, but he also knows that Leo is brilliant. He can do better than the answers he gave last week. Whatever had him thrown off last time, haru simply wanted to give him a little nudge to do better. He knows he can.
Surprisingly, Leo doesn't say anything to him, just looking at the paper as he slings his backpack over one shoulder and walks out, beanie pulled low on his brow.
"Need anything else?"Amelia asks.
"No, thank you, Amelia . That's all for today."
Amelia exhales, folders hugged to her chest. "Time for a nap in my car then," she says, and haru laughs. "See you on Thursday."
"See you," he says as she leaves, and then he gathers his things and heads for his office again. It feels like he's just going through the motions these days.
Get up. Go to work. Lunch with Arthur . More classes. Grade. Go home . Sleep
*End of chapter*