"Do you think there's an afterlife?" he asked, staring at the ceiling plastered with glow-in-the-dark stars atop the painted galaxy. The ward room was dim, making the glow even more visible.
"No…" I answered softly.
He chuckled. "Right?"
"But I believe in after life…" I spoke again, and this time he glanced at me.
A mix of pain and guilt flickered across his tired, droopy eyes. I swallowed hard, trying not to crack my voice as I continued.
"I believe in life after you—" I cracked. "A life where all that's left of you is ashes. Memories I don't even know if I want to carry for so long… or if I'll even remember them. I have bad memory retention, you know. And you… you won't be there anymore to remind me of those memories."
He didn't speak. Instead, he breathed a soft sigh and struggled to reach for my face. Despite the sadness in his eyes, there was fondness—the same look he always had, implying he loved me, even though he might not last much longer.
"I'm sorry, hm?" he whispered as his soft, fragile, shaky hand swiped the tear trailing down my cheek. "I am a selfish man. I'm sorry."
I shook my head, but I agreed with him. Yes, he was selfish. Selfish for holding me loosely in his palm, knowing I might slip away the moment he let go. Selfish for keeping me close, only to find the warmth gone the next second. Selfish for lying in this hospital bed with a ticking life bomb, ready to explode at any moment. Selfish for not being a vampire. So selfish that I wished he were one.
If only I hadn't been awakened from his delusions… if only Carson Nichovlas Clark were a myth with immortality, I'd gladly spend my whole life with him.
But sadly… he wasn't.
And now, my baby is one step away from life.
My Nico wasn't a vampire andhe'sdying.