"Youth is a lie, and also a sin."
A melodious male voice echoed through Hiratsuka Shizuka's office.
"Those who praise youth often deceive both others and themselves, blindly affirming everything around them. As long as something is connected to the word youth, they can twist any common interpretation or social norm to suit their narrative. For them, lies, secrets, sins, and even failure are merely seasonings for youth."
"If failure is proof of youth, then wouldn't someone who can't make friends stand at the very center of the stage of youth? But they would never admit that, would they? Instead, they only choose explanations that benefit them."
"The conclusion is as follows—"
"Idiots intoxicated by youth, perish! Hahahahahaha! Before reading this essay, I never imagined it would be this funny! Hahaha!"
Although Hachiman Hikigaya tried to restrain himself, his twitching lips and trademark Dead Fish Eyes betrayed his inner turmoil.
"Funny? This kind of thing happens in every school in the world."
The male student sitting opposite Hachiman wiped away tears from laughing.
"Have you considered submitting your work to websites for aspiring light novel authors to train your writing skills? Perhaps you could become the next super-genius light novel author."
Hiratsuka Shizuka immediately shouted sternly,
"Your essay isn't any better, Ishikawa Hikaru!"
"I disagree," Ishikawa Hikaru replied. "I debuted as a super-genius light novel author in junior high after my hit light novel 'Traversing to Another World with a Smart Toilet' won third place in the Dengeki Bunko Awards. How could I possibly write a bad essay about high school life?"
"Oh? Is that so?"
Hiratsuka Shizuka pulled his essay from the desk and handed it to Hachiman.
"Hikitani, evaluate his essay too."
Hachiman naturally wouldn't miss such a perfect opportunity for revenge. He quickly grabbed Ishikawa Hikaru's essay, glanced over it, and began reading aloud with exaggerated elegance.
"High school is the most vibrant period of youth, much like surviving a harsh winter in the wilderness. When spring arrives and all things awaken, it becomes the season when animals reproduce. The vitality of youth and the vague affection for the opposite sex beat strongly within the heart during humanity's most active period, weaving a story called youth amidst the alternating rhythm of study and everyday life."
"Creation originates from life and surpasses life. Stories about people shine brightest when they are young. As a genius light novel author, I can personally witness the youthful stories of young people, recording and writing about these lives—filled with regret, love, failure, pain, brilliance, and decay—so that everyone who has already lost their youth may rediscover it within the 'Youth' I record with my pen."
"Just like this essay!"
"I must strive for the youth of humanity that has passed or is about to pass! I must create for the lost youth of all mankind!"
"How is this even remotely comparable to Hikitani's essay? This is clearly an excellent essay."
Ishikawa Hikaru declared righteously,
"This essay even elevates the theme at the end, clarifying my career direction and life goals. It is completely—worlds apart—from the gloomy ramblings of that friendless Hikitani, who believes he is the only sober person among drunkards."
Hachiman immediately shot back,
"All I can see between the lines is your twisted desire to treat every high school student as writing material."
"What's wrong with that? Creation comes from life and must surpass life," Ishikawa replied calmly. "Besides, high school students are all different. Someone like the gloomy chuunibyou Hikitani is naturally different from the normie group led by Hayama and Miura. Observing and understanding people during their youth is the most normal thing for a creator."
"That just means your problem is even worse than mine!"
"Does my existence stop you from being a chuunibyou, Hikitani-sensei? Don't you understand? No matter how others see you, you must still treat your own life seriously. You shouldn't abandon what you believe in because of other people's gossip."
"I am not some Hikitani-sensei!"
Their argument eventually caught Hiratsuka Shizuka's attention. Veins bulged on her forehead as she slammed her fist on the desk.
"Enough!"
The sheer force of the punch carried enough intimidation to silence both boys instantly.
"You two are both problem children."
Hiratsuka Shizuka stood up, clearly annoyed, and walked toward the door.
"Both of you—follow me."
Ishikawa Hikaru exchanged a glance with Hachiman Hikigaya, and the two followed her out of the office.
While walking down the corridor behind Hiratsuka Shizuka, Ishikawa covered his mouth with his hand and whispered to Hachiman,
"Hikitani-sensei, what do you think the probability is that Shizuka-sensei plans to silence us?"
"I probably won't," Hachiman said after a pause. "But you might not be so lucky."
"How can that be?!"
Ishikawa looked shocked.
"I'm clearly a normal high school student! Not a detestable chuunibyou like you!"
Hachiman glanced at him with his Dead Fish Eyes.
"When did you start believing you were a normal high school student?"
"Is it because I debuted as a light novel author in junior high with 'Traversing to Another World with a Smart Toilet' and became a bestselling writer?"
Ishikawa clutched his chest dramatically.
"Is heaven planning to make a genius like me die young…? Seventeen years of life, gone like a fleeting dream…"
After opening the clubroom door, Hiratsuka Shizuka glared at Ishikawa with clear killing intent.
"If you keep playing dumb and gossiping about me behind my back, I really will silence you."
Ishikawa immediately straightened up.
"My apologies, Hiratsuka-sensei."
Hiratsuka gave him one last warning glare before leading them into the room.
Inside the empty classroom sat a single girl with long black hair, quietly reading a book. Her features were delicate and beautiful, and her demeanor was calm and composed. A breeze from the open window lifted her hair, while the sunlight gave her an almost radiant appearance.
The girl gently closed her book.
"I asked you to knock before entering, Hiratsuka-sensei."
"Even if I knocked, you didn't respond."
"You entered before I had a chance to answer."
Hachiman immediately felt that something about this situation was deeply troubling.
Noticing his suspicious expression, Ishikawa instantly pulled out a notebook and pen, carefully observing the conversation, expressions, and atmosphere between Hachiman, Shizuka-sensei, and the girl while quickly recording everything.
Because Ishikawa Hikaru's intuition told him—
this moment would definitely become useful material someday.