The battlefield had gone completely silent.
Thousands of soldiers. Hundreds of mages. Dozens of commanders.
Every single one of them was staring at exactly one person.
Rin.
"..."
"..."
"...Why is everyone looking at me?"
The System answered immediately.
[Because you are today's Main Character.]
"I don't want to be today's Main Character."
[Daily Main Character status cannot be disabled.]
"I'll call customer support."
[Estimated waiting time: 247 years.]
"...Reasonable."
Commander Lucien was still sitting proudly atop his white horse, looking as though he'd just asked for directions instead of requesting to speak to the Demon General's mysterious companion.
Kaelith, meanwhile... Looked calm. Terrifyingly calm.
Rin had known him for only a few days, but he was already learning something important.
When Kaelith looked calm... Someone was about to have a very bad day.
The Demon General lowered his sword ever so slightly.
"...Why?"
Lucien tilted his head.
"I wish to speak with him."
"About?"
"I believe that is a conversation for the two of us."
"...Denied."
Lucien blinked.
"I beg your pardon?"
"I said no."
The Holy Commander looked genuinely surprised.
"You cannot decide whom another person speaks with."
"I can while he is under my protection."
"I wasn't asking for permission."
"I know."
"..."
"..."
The tension between the two men became almost visible.
Rin slowly raised one hand.
"Um..."
Neither of them looked at him.
"...Excuse me..."
Nothing.
"HELLO?"
Still nothing.
"They're ignoring me," Rin whispered.
[Congratulations.]
[You have become the object of a territorial dispute.]
"...THAT IS NOT A CONGRATULATIONS!"
Behind Kaelith, Vorak leaned down toward Rin.
"...Are they always like this?"
"You mean stubborn?"
"Yes."
"I've known them for..." Rin counted on his fingers.
"...About four days."
"And?"
"They're exhausting."
Vorak nodded thoughtfully.
"I agree."
A young demon soldier standing nearby quietly whispered to another.
"...Do you think the General is jealous?"
The second soldier looked horrified.
"Don't say that out loud!"
"I whispered!"
"He'll still hear you!"
"I absolutely did," Kaelith said without turning around.
The poor soldier immediately saluted so hard his helmet slipped over his eyes.
"My deepest apologies, General!"
Rin bit the inside of his cheek.
Don't laugh.
Don't laugh.
Don't—
A tiny snort escaped.
Kaelith slowly looked over one shoulder. Rin immediately looked at the sky.
"What lovely clouds."
"There are no clouds."
"...What lovely... blue?"
The System chimed.
[Mission Updated.]
[Prevent an international incident.]
Reward: ????
Failure: Worse paperwork.
Rin blinked.
"...Paperwork?"
[Trust me.]
"...You know what?"
He nodded solemnly.
"I believe you."
Lucien finally dismounted from his horse. His white cape fluttered behind him as he walked toward the space between the two armies.
"I did not come to provoke unnecessary conflict."
Kaelith answered flatly.
"You arrived with ten thousand soldiers."
"A precaution."
"You brought siege towers."
"An enthusiastic precaution."
"..."
Rin quietly whispered to Vorak,
"...He's funny."
Vorak nodded.
"I noticed."
The System immediately chimed.
[Warning.]
[Host appears susceptible to charming blond knights.]
"I AM NOT!"
[Denial detected.]
"I appreciate good jokes!"
[That is how it starts.]
"Oh, shut up."
Lucien looked genuinely confused.
"...Was... was he speaking to me?"
Kaelith answered before Rin could.
"No."
"I wasn't asking you."
"You are now."
"..."
Lucien sighed.
"I remember why negotiating with you is difficult."
"You keep invading."
"You keep refusing diplomacy."
"You bring armies."
"You summon demons."
"They had swords."
"...Fair."
Rin blinked several times.
"...They're really doing this."
"What?"
"They're arguing like two coworkers who hate each other but secretly respect each other."
Vorak looked thoughtful.
"...That is... surprisingly accurate."
Before anyone could say another word—
A catapult fired. Not intentionally. Apparently someone sneezed. The massive flaming boulder arced beautifully through the sky. Straight toward the center of the battlefield.
Straight toward—
"...OH COME ON!"
Rin.
"WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME?!"
The System answered immediately.
[Statistically, you are very unlucky.]
"I KNOW!"
The enormous flaming rock came crashing down.
Soldiers scattered. Knights dove aside. Demons shouted warnings.
Rin's brain stopped functioning.
"...I don't have a plan!"
[Suggestion.]
[Move.]
"Oh...RIGHT!"
He turned to run—
His foot caught on a loose stone.
"...Seriously?"
He stumbled forward. Completely by accident. The boulder missed him by less than a meter.
Instead—
It crashed directly between Kaelith and Lucien.
BOOOOOOM!
Smoke exploded everywhere. Dust filled the battlefield.
Nobody could see anything. When the smoke cleared...
The silence returned. Everyone stared. Rin had accidentally fallen... Right into Kaelith.
The Demon General had instinctively caught him before he hit the ground.
One arm around his waist. The other still holding his sword.
"..."
"..."
"...Hi," Rin said weakly.
Kaelith looked down.
"...Are you injured?"
"I think only emotionally."
"...Good."
"...Emotionally?"
"...No."
"...Oh."
Across from them...Lucien stared.
His expression softened almost imperceptibly.
"...He protected him first."
One of the Holy Knights nodded.
"Without hesitation."
"...Interesting."
The System practically exploded with excitement.
[Protective Instinct Confirmed!]
[Relationship Milestone Achieved!]
[Kaelith has unlocked: Instinctive Rescue.]
Reward: +50 Affection.
Bonus Reward: Increased Jealousy.
"...WHY IS THAT A BONUS?!"
Kaelith helped Rin stand.
"Can you walk?"
"I've been asking myself that since I got here."
"...Answer?"
"Surprisingly yes."
Before Rin could step away—
Lucien spoke again.
"General."
Kaelith looked up.
"I would still like to speak with him."
"No."
"I am asking him."
"No."
"That is not your decision."
"It is."
Rin slowly looked from one to the other. Then sighed dramatically.
"...Okay."
Both men turned toward him.
"...I feel like I should say something."
"You should remain behind me," Kaelith answered.
"You should speak freely," Lucien said at the same time.
"..."
"..."
Rin pinched the bridge of his nose.
"You know what?"
"What?"
Both answered simultaneously again.
"...You two have the same problem."
Lucien frowned.
"We do?"
"Neither of you listens."
"We are listening."
"No."
Rin crossed his arms.
"You're waiting for your turn to talk."
Silence. Even the soldiers nearby stopped whispering. Rin continued.
"You've been arguing for ten minutes. Neither of you has attacked. Neither of you actually wants this battle. You just keep trying to prove who's right."
The battlefield became unnaturally quiet. Kaelith looked at Lucien. Lucien looked back.
"..."
"..."
Neither spoke.
The System suddenly whispered.
[Critical Hit.]
"...What?"
[Host has dealt Emotional Damage.]
[It was super effective.]
Rin almost laughed.
One elderly demon adjusted his glasses.
"...Did...Did the human just lecture two legendary commanders?"
A Holy Kingdom priest slowly nodded.
"I believe he did."
"...Bold."
"...Very."
Then, from somewhere far in the back of the Holy Kingdom army, a young knight accidentally shouted—
"OUR COMMANDER IS BLUSHING!"
The entire battlefield froze.
Lucien blinked.
"..."
Very slowly...
He touched his own face.
Warm.
"..."
One second later—
Every Holy Knight turned toward the poor soldier who had yelled.
The young man immediately regretted every life choice that had led him to this moment.
"...I... May have spoken too loudly."
"You think?" another knight whispered.
On the demon side, Vorak let out one booming laugh.
Rin looked at Lucien. Then looked closer.
"..."
"...Oh my God."
The Holy Commander really was blushing.
Not much. Just enough to tint the tips of his ears.
The System almost sang.
[Achievement Unlocked!]
Accidentally Charming the Enemy Commander
Reward:
+200 Chaos.
"...YOU CAN'T REWARD CHAOS!"
[Watch me.]
Rin slowly covered his face with both hands.
"I...miss my office."
The System immediately corrected him.
[No, you don't.]
Rin thought about unpaid overtime. About broken coffee machines. About his old manager.
"...You're right."
A beat passed.
"...I can't believe you're right."
Far across the battlefield, one rumor had already begun spreading from soldier to soldier.
"The human smiled at the Holy Commander."
"No, the Holy Commander smiled first!"
"No, the Demon General caught him in his arms!"
"I heard the giant champion approved!"
Within two minutes, the story had changed completely.
By the fifth retelling...
Someone claimed Rin had proposed marriage to all three of them at once.
The System cheerfully displayed one final notification.
[Current Reputation:]
Demon Army: "General's beloved."
Holy Kingdom: "Mysterious beautiful diplomat?"
Host's Opinion of Himself: "Please let a meteor hit me."
Rin stared blankly into the distance.
"...Can I uninstall reality instead?"
[Feature unavailable.]
"Figures."