No one expects anything from me. It's a comfortable yet lonely story.
Neither the teachers nor my classmates think I'll accomplish anything.
They're too busy forming their own groups and chattering away, as if I'm not worth their attention because I'm harmless and incapable.
While watching them, I feel envious, but somehow I've come to accept that I don't deserve to be part of such groups.
They say people change according to their environment.
Perhaps because of that, as I've grown accustomed to this situation, I've embraced the bitter feeling of deepening solitude.
It felt like I was holding a cactus in my heart because I was so lonely.
"...Ah."
I've wondered if things might have been better if someone would listen to me, even if I had no power. It didn't take long to realize that was just a dream, and I quickly abandoned the thought.
Negative thoughts keep sprouting.
No matter how much I worry about how to avoid the ending of this story—where everyone except the protagonist is killed—I can't find a clear answer.
This isn't a story Kanna Aurora can navigate alone.
If I can't even overcome the atmosphere at the Academy, how, by what means, could I change the ending?
There are monsters and mysterious persons.
I couldn't fight against them with this body.
What should I do?
Click.
I nervously bit my fingernail.
I might be fine for now, but I definitely need to change direction somewhere to survive.
The key is finding that turning point and having the strength to change course.
Is there anyone whose power I could borrow?
Or must I do this alone in the end?
Just emitting a little electricity with a zap wouldn't be nearly enough.
As I furrowed my brow in thought, I recalled what happened at school today.
No one said anything specific to me, but those glances they kept casting my way...
I felt like I was about to have a panic attack.
No, no. The looks directed at me will fade quickly anyway.
They're probably just relieved to see someone worse than themselves.
Like, "Thank goodness there's someone below me."
In any invisible pyramid, someone has to be at the bottom, and that someone was me.
That's what I told myself to feel better.
*
The Academy held frequent tests.
It was a school policy implemented with the determination to select students who could steadily or diligently improve in this dangerous world overrun by monsters and mysterious persons.
In other words, they wouldn't tolerate last-minute cramming.
And I was caught right in that trap, struggling with the exam questions.
For subjects like Korean or math, I could manage somehow, but history was a different story.
Having barely learned and memorized medieval, modern, and contemporary Korean history, I was suddenly expected to memorize this world's medieval, modern, and contemporary history. I remembered too little to write down most of the answers.
Just as people would naturally answer "Yi Sun-sin" when asked who created the turtle ship, most of these history questions were common knowledge to them.
My score was slashed significantly here.
And next came the truly tear-inducing test period.
"The next exam is the ability test. Remember breaking the scarecrow during our previous class? It's exactly the same. Oh, but the scoring will be different from last time, so you'll need to try even harder!"
The teacher shared this important information and lined up the students in order.
Fortunately, this time we weren't breaking targets in the order we lined up, so I could distance myself from the protagonist and heroine. But just because the gap with my comparison targets narrowed didn't mean I could inflict even a scratch on the scarecrow.
If the scarecrow had consciousness, it might have appreciated me for not destroying it.
Boom! Crack! Snap. Crunch.
Everyone used their abilities or whatever magic they could to damage and destroy their scarecrows.
Zzzzt.
For once, everyone seemed focused on the test, with no one chatting. So that clear sound in the silence announced that I had tried once and failed.
Unlike before, the teacher's cover story that I could try again when in peak condition wouldn't work anymore.
I trudged back to my seat, savoring that miserable feeling once again.
I hadn't expected to feel this way again, but realizing this was a regular class and test made the future seem terrifying.
I should probably be satisfied with electricity coming from my hands, since I never had abilities or used magic in my original world.
I tried to comfort myself that way, but ultimately had to face the fact that it was all delusion and a foolish dream.
"The next test is martial arts. As I explained before, you'll take turns attacking and defending. Score points with clean attacks and proper breakfalls when defending. If you both do well, you can both earn points, right?"
The teacher paired us up as she spoke.
The last person would be left alone and paired with number one, but the problem was me.
My partner was Selena Erterre. The girl with sharp features and light green hair was clearly sizing me up.
She seemed determined to use me to score big points here.
Honestly, I was a bit scared.
Breakfall? Easier said than done—there was no way I could do it properly.
Selena was given the first attack, and I hesitantly shuffled my feet, groaning slightly.
For defense, I was supposed to reach out and touch my opponent's shoulder, then they would grab and throw me.
I reached for Selena's left shoulder.
Her right hand quickly grabbed me, and simultaneously her body spun halfway around.
The face I had been looking at moved to the opposite side, and suddenly my eyes were fixed on the back of her head.
I need to react—
My vision spun, and then my back hit the floor with a thud.
Forget breakfalls—I couldn't even react properly and felt pain like my back might break.
"Ow, ow, ow..."
I squeezed my eyes shut. Tears were welling up.
As I rolled on the floor clutching my waist, Selena carefully helped me up.
"..."
She didn't apologize.
Her eyes seemed to say, "This is a test, after all," showing no intention of going easy on me.
"Ugh..."
Groaning in pain, I straightened my gym clothes and got up.
I fixed my disheveled hair and let out a deep sigh.
"Now switch positions."
The students adjusted their stances upon hearing the teacher's instruction, returning to their face-to-face positions.
I likewise faced Selena standing before me.
This time, Selena extended her arm forward.
Shouldn't there be a chance to make up for lost points?
With that thought, I gritted my teeth and desperately grabbed her arm.
Then I quickly turned my body, but whether from too much eagerness or incorrect posture, instead of flipping Selena over, her body slipped sideways.
Huh?
With a graceful movement, Selena executed a perfect breakfall and smoothly stood up.
I was speechless, noticing how different the sound was from when I had hit the floor.
"..."
Unable to say anything, I looked at the teacher with trembling eyes.
Our gazes met briefly before the teacher avoided my eyes and jotted something down.
In that moment, I realized.
I couldn't even execute a proper throw.
Was I lacking strength? Was my posture wrong? Or was I just too eager?
Meanwhile, Selena, who had performed a breakfall despite being barely thrown, probably earned high marks.
Unlike me.
I had tried hard, hoping that avoiding last place might change how others saw me, but it felt like a cold reminder that just because I tried hard didn't mean others weren't trying hard too.
I felt empty. With tests happening so frequently, I wanted to show improvement, but I realized again that was still far from my reality.
Yoon Ha-min and Orca executed beautiful throws, and even when thrown, they twisted their bodies to minimize impact. Meanwhile, I was not only terrible with abilities and magic but also uncoordinated, making the comparison even more painful.
I wondered if I should have been in a different class.
But then I wouldn't have been able to make friends, so that wouldn't work either.
The ethics test, which was more like general knowledge, went quickly, but what I received was a ruined average score from failing the other tests.
Despite my determination to change my self-perception, without the power to achieve it, others' attitudes toward me remained unchanged. They couldn't change.
After the tests, as lunch time approached.
While everyone compared their on-the-spot grade reports with laughter, I sighed looking at my report that made 1 look like a high score.
If I had tried even a little harder, couldn't I have reduced at least one of these low marks?
Thinking this, I slightly raised my head.
Apparently, a student who ranked first in another class was interested in Yoon Ha-min and had come to talk to him.
Watching them leave together for lunch, I felt alone again.
It was a bit sad that despite becoming friends, I still couldn't ask him to have lunch together.
But looking at my crumpled grade report with my head down, I wondered if I even deserved that right.
After all, in the original story, neither Yoon Ha-min nor Orca ever became friends with someone named Kanna, so maybe this was for the best?
I consoled myself with that thought as I bought bread again today.