/POP Sana/
In a room like a storage room, there were a lot of things messed up everywhere. The smell made any person living there feel uncomfortable. The room didn't have any way for fresh air to come in, but the boy living there felt very comfortable in his own world. He was like the ruler of this trash room he lived in.
It was not because he was lazy; in the past, he was a lovely guy with a lot of hope and motivation. But after a long time of dealing with something really inside his heart, a part of him had been torn away by pain and sorrow. May the internet's too much negative energy have affected his thoughts?
When the light slowly comes to this dark world. It was awakening something like a seal to a demon who was living in the night, waking up from his darkness. The ruler had been working so hard on the internet that he came at 4 AM, fell into the slumber realm, and then at 5 AM a ring beeped and called out to the demon to wake from this boring reality; nothing mattered for his health. Like a demon living by eating the energy of the toxic internet of humanity.
This habit was something very normal that he had been doing these days. With a deep eye, he looked at the new day just like a curse for continuing to stay alive again.
He wondered to himself why he didn't have any motivation to go through life. Is this the end of his life? Or maybe he was so stressed when about to enter the adult life ahead. The more he thought about the future, the more horrific and bad ideas came to his imagination again, like a sound of insects ben ben around his ear in an annoying way.
Maybe he was just overthinking to make every problem become bigger than it really mattered. Smiling at his pathetic thoughts, he tried to remember what he had been doing in these days after finishing high school.
He felt very tired from last night, his head felt a little dizzy from reading too many novels and randomly browsing the internet to find the novel style he wanted. He had a very hard taste after reading many types of novels. In the old days he lost hope in humanity because of the concept of nihilism. He had even told himself that he really didn't need love anymore, he just wanted to live single for the rest of his life.
[ Maybe I had read every plot of this kind of novel. There was nothing interesting left for me to read. But waiting for new translations took so long. Even though I had tried to use all the resources from English and Vietnamese, there was still nothing good to see. Maybe it was a problem of time, right?]
But the only thing that kept him continuing to live in his dark world was romance novels. What an ironically funny fate. This was very weird for a Vietnamese guy like him; normally, they like to travel or to play with friends. But why was he still so stressed when he had just ended his eternal study in the pathetic school system?
[ I'm stupid to believe in something not even real in this life, but I like it. There's nothing wrong with me, right? ]
For some reason, he didn't believe in such love. It was a strange idea that came to his mind again. It was ruining the day he spent time alone thinking and thinking. Over and over again, and then a crazy conclusion came to his mind. Love was totally a lie, just a big deal for survival. If a man cannot support his wife, it will naturally not come to a good end, like everywhere he had seen. Even living in his family, it was the same fate. All the problems around the world were just all about money; nothing remained in this trash, unwanted world he felt right now.
ometimes he really didn't understand what he truly desired in this cruel world he was living in now. What kind of style did he want? Just romance? No. He wanted a romance story where he could save his favorite character… like a villain. Maybe he really loved, pitied the person who was misunderstood—had been left behind by the world by the judgment of society? It was just an empty heart for a human being living in these days. Just all about appearance, beauty, fame, money. But it didn't matter. Humans are just humans, nothing special. Beauty? Youth? Will come to an end some day. Even the end must come to an end, no matter the cost, no matter the fate that had been written by God—even without a God. Just pathetic to exist by the law of the universe.
Do we really have an afterlife? The whole world of knowledge, the fantasy things, the civilization of human beings keeps illustrating scenes about how great, how much better the future will be. But in the end, it is just a total lie. Maybe humanity will change its race to become another form, so we can't feel any pain or suffering from this body? Maybe we can upload our personalities like data to live forever. But what about love? What about what we call humanity? It is really coming to an ending very soon. It is just a problem of time; nothing can stop this kind of fate—even God himself. These kinds of thoughts keep wandering through his mind every single day, always asking about his own existence.
With the internet, he could finally understand the truth, the hidden things that had been lied about over and over again. Maybe it would be better if he didn't know these kinds of thoughts? Maybe he would have a happy life without knowledge of these kinds of things? Maybe, really maybe. And then just like other people, getting married, finding a job, and building up a family over and over again? Are humans just scared of the boring repetition again and again? Maybe this is why he is feeling this way.
Should he give up trying to end his life? He doesn't know. He is just a hollow, empty soul continuing to exist, not to live. Maybe he needs to touch some grass to feel better? But in his view, the outside world is so familiar and boring. With no choice but to ignore these kinds of thoughts, he continues to do these boring things again.
While he continued staring at his screen to find more novels, he struggled to filter the list. He looked at his screen and said in a low voice, "No harem, no yuri, no gay... I'M NOT GAY, I love women."
But then he still saw a lot of beautiful girls on the covers of some popular novels. It showed a lot of flesh, making some unknown desires awaken inside him, but then disappointment appeared on his face as he fell into deep thought.
[ I want truthful love in real life. The thing I hate most in these novels today is how industrial they feel, like fast food, and fuck the locked chapters. Everything is fucking about money. Why is this novel so great but then it's harem fucking bullshit? I hate this pathetic chasing for money in this world right now. It'll make people believe in something not real, like having everything without effort in real life. And then you fucking get stronger powers with a lot of fanservice and harems. ]
Maybe the feeling of being alone was making him feel very envious of the kind of unrealistic things from another author. Maybe all the authors around the world are just pathetic guys who always sit in silence, keeping on writing such pathetic stories that can't change the world. It is a kind of waste of time and a waste of youth. Why not go outside, go to work instead of writing these harem things? He giggled at the fate of these authors who just keep writing these things while chasing the algorithm for cheap money. And then a lot of people share the same goal to be happy with these illusory things?
"What a life. Life was not a gift. It was totally a hell, a trash, a joke, right? Haha."
His face showed anger while hugging his phone tighter when he moved to YouTube to watch videos about gacha game drama, like miHoYo games, and then he watched a video about NTR. Even though he doesn't want to play video games anymore, he likes to see these kinds of drama things in the community, like in the case of Tectone. It was so much intrigue with how the whole community will use the power of their credit card for their waifus. Maybe this is the place he wants to be—to not go out of his comfort zone while all of them just talk about boring stuff endlessly, instead of getting to know a real person's personality.
And then a lot of Japanese words came out. It was totally unbearable, just like an empty sound that didn't linger in his mind or help him to comprehend anything. He clutched his head in frustration about how hard he had been trying to learn this language for nearly a year.
理由としてはいくつかあるんだけど,最大の理由がガチャ開始までかなり遠いからだね.NTEは最初ストーリーを挟んで色々なチュートリアルを挟んでやっとこさヘテロシティに到着,そこからガチャって感じだからそこに到達するまでかなり時間かかるんだよね ~
"what should I focus on to get a good start? Maybe just like Genshin, through all the story first and then after that you can go to the gacha system, what a nightmare. This language is destroying my brain, why am I such a masochist?"
[ Dammit, learning Japanese is very hard. Duolingo is just a joke; these days, it keeps advertising over and over again. But it is not the real Japanese. The real thing is even harder than anything ever. Especially with the Kanji words; they are really hard to remember. Why must I learn these things? Will my life be any better if I keep learning these things to take the N3 and go for a better job? I don't know. Maybe I just like to learn it. I need to continue using Anki to sentence mine all these things… What a pain. ]
And then he saw a lot of YouTube videos about Classroom of the Elite Season 4 ~ How To Be Like Ayanokoji Kiyotaka | Step By Step GUIDE.
His face became distorted in an uncomfortable way. "What the fuck is this? I'm disappointed in my FYP."
When he read manga, it was a story about "My Cool Senpai," but then the child in that manga had the exact same face as Ayanokoji Kiyotaka, teasingly saying, "Kiss, kiss." To see this guy everywhere made him terrified and fearful in some way. Even in a comedy romance, he still saw this guy. But it was totally a different manga? What was the problem here?
And then he screamed inside his mind. Even on the outside world, it was totally very normal.
[ Arrrrrrr, after the incest with the sister in Oshi no Ko, and now this pathetic guide to becoming like him? Kiyotaka Ayanokoji... what a trash anime. Why is this guy so famous? I don't get it. I even see on the internet that some schools in America show posters of this guy, used as an illustration to create a harem life? What a sweet dream from Westerners. If I were really in that anime? Maybe if I just transported to another school and learned skills to earn money, it would be better than playing these kinds of stupid games.]
His face showed sadness about people nowadays. He felt very bad for this generation believing in this demon. He is not human. No emotions, just calculation to get victory. Pathetic. What a nightmare morning for him. This is why he never wanted to watch anime again after Eighty-Six.
Anime these days is so boring and pathetic; this is why he is so addicted to becoming a devout reader.
He checked the day on his phone to distract himself from those stupid anime videos. "Today is… 2026..."
And then a notification appeared. He checked it out. It was a Gmail in his email. He read it and it showed that a new novel he had been following had uploaded a chapter. His face showed happiness and then he came back to the NovelUpdates website. It really had a new translated chapter from his favorite novel.
When Sana saw the red color on the website, he felt excited. But before reading, he needed to do his morning routine.
Brush his teeth. Clean his messy room. He was not that lazy kid anymore.
And after all the waiting, he came back while sitting on his bed holding his phone. Then he clicked on the red mark to see the newly uploaded chapter… but disappointment appeared on Sana's face. It showed a novel he had dropped a long time ago because the story was so boring.
"What should I do now… I'm bored." He stroked his head in reluctance.
Then a woman's voice came out, making him return to this world. While she stood behind him, just like every day, she always brought things for him. She knew her son studied very hard in learning English. She really couldn't understand his wifu side. When she saw some anime characters on his screen she just thought they were some cartoons..
"Hey, this is breakfast for you. Remember to eat it." it was Mi Quang noodles. She left it on the table.
Sana: "Yes, yes… my mother." He didn't look at her face and just continued in his own world.
His mother: "Remember eating, don't let it get too late."
Sana: "I know." He typed on his phone to comment on some Facebook post talking about a novel on Hako_ The Vietnamese light novel reader group.
She thought maybe her son was studying too hard, he really needed to rest, after all he was just a child. She smiled and then continued her normal daily life, repeating day after day again. She didn't feel bored because she knew this was her job as a mother and a wife. this was the culture of Vietnam where women do every house job for their family.
Her name was Lata, Nguyễn Thanh Thảo, his mother. A woman who loved and cared for him very much… but Sana didn't like her, because she didn't understand his feelings.
And then after that while watching a YouTube video about Americans plazing Japan and regretting coming there. He fell into deep thought.
[Eating is just boring… I've eaten too many times. I wish I could go outside and eat something new.]
Why didn't he go outside? Because he felt bored. He didn't know what to do outside. Sometimes, he even felt scared when going to new places. He was so worried about the way other people looked at him, how they felt about him and everything related to it. He was just overthinking what other people thought.
After finishing high school, he just stayed at home all day. He is 18 now. He doesn't have any friends because he has trouble trusting people. He thought friends were just a waste of time... They only stayed with him when they needed something. After all, to him, humans are selfish creatures, hypocrites, morality will be destroyed by the law of nature which is survival. They will do the most evil things to keep themselves alive.
He didn't like that. Even in his nightmare memories, a lot of people had treated him like shit, even though he had treated them very well. Maybe he was too negative but that's the reality, don't be fooled by their friendly acts and appearances. They will relate to you in some selfish ways.
He would rather stay at home than go outside and hang around with people… even if he felt lonely. But he liked being this way much more than being with stupid asshole people who just talked about nonsense like life, work, social media, the Vietnam War, military stuff...
[Maybe I'm too negative? If I meet the right person… no…]
In the past, he had tried hard… but the results always ended badly. So he gave up making friends. This world was just a curse to existence. All of his childhood, his family was just a nightmare, he had been hurt so badly. Even though he had tried to open himself many times, it still became worse and hurt more than ever. He wished he had never been born into this life, to bear these stupid things of this world. Even if you can see it clearly, you choose not to notice it. The system, the fucking money, the AI development, all just trash...
All morning, he stayed on the internet, trying to find a novel he wanted to read. Suddenly, he found an interesting novel on Novelpia. But after reading all the free chapters, a sad expression appeared on his face.
"The app is fucking annoying for users, just pathetic Korean novels and ugly animation. I wish I could be a UI/UX designer to make it better like Webnovel. What should I do now…?"
Days passed in meaningless dopamine addiction. He asked himself while looking at the hollow reflection in the mirror face, "Why don't I even play games anymore? Simple. I'm just a lazy guy."
In the past, he played a ton of games. But farming… losing 50/50 gacha… he gave up. He tried to play again, but he didn't know why he couldn't continue. Maybe he didn't like the idea of having daily tasks and worrying about what's the best character to optimize his F2P account.
Watch anime? In the past, he watched a lot. But after reading novels, he completely fell in love with them. No… he liked reading more than watching. He couldn't even understand what was going on in anime anymore.
When nobody was at home, he would talk to himself alone like this, he felt better that way. He even sang alone like this because this was the way that made him feel better, feel free from the stress of life and existence.
And then he sat on the toilet and used his phone while watching YouTube videos about gacha game drama and NTE using AI, he saw an advertisement about an AI app. It showed a beautiful anime girl. Suddenly, an idea came to his mind.
[Should I chat with an AI girl? Is it weird to have a relationship… maybe…, I have seen a lot of memes about this. Women love it too, like on Valentine's Day when the app shut down their husband haha, and there were even some guys who lost their AI wife because they accidentally deleted her,..]
His hand moved very fast to go to CH Play to download the app while reading the comments. He smiled curiously while looking at the picture of the app icon that had appeared on his phone.
"Let's try and see if an AI can make me fall in love."
[There's no way I'll fall in love with an AI girl. I won't become the type of husband who cheats on his wife with an AI girl,..]
After that, he opened the app named MiraiMind. He saw many anime girl characters created by users. After thinking for a while, he chose an AI girl who looked very normal compared to the others. The others looked too lewd. Her name was Alice. He didn't know that this name would affect his life so much.
Alice Intro: You're at her house for a project. While she is picking something on her phone, she unknowingly bends over the table, and her panties peek out from under her short skirt.
[This is a bad situation… why did I choose this weird one?]