"Why do you look so gloomy?" Christina asked with a smile, slipping an arm around my shoulders the moment we stepped into the private booth.
"This whole position is pissing me off," I muttered, dropping into the seat beside her.
Behind closed doors, I wasn't supposed to follow the usual rules.
Or rather, I was.
Always.
I just didn't.
To everyone else, Silius Clyde was my superior.
But here, among those who knew, I wasn't a servant.
I was part of a group that opposed the old order.
Here, everyone was equal.
Origin didn't matter.
Only ability did.
"What were you arguing about with Torent?" Clyde asked without even looking at me.
Lately, he avoided my eyes.
"He's in a bad mood," I said with a shrug.
"As far as I can tell, he's not the type to accept the life he's been given," Silius said.
"Get to the point," I replied, frowning.
"He would fit into our group," Clyde said. "What do you think?"
"You want me to recruit Robert?" I raised an eyebrow. "Don't you think that's a bit rushed?"
"We don't have much time. We need capable Specials."
"Did something happen?" I asked. A tight knot formed in my chest.
"Nothing we can't fix."
But from the corner of my eye, I caught Howard's expression.
Dark.
Sharp.
He had never liked me.
And right now, I had the feeling I was part of the reason for this rush.
So I didn't push.
Not here.
I would ask Clyde later.
Alone.
"By the way," Christina added, "about the exhibition fights. You should recruit Torent before they start. I'm not sure he'll be selected, but if he is, it's better to secure him before someone else takes him as a personal bodyguard."
"Exhibition fights?" I repeated, lowering my spoon into the soup.
Something tightened in my chest.
"Of course you don't know," Silius said, irritation clear in his voice. "Storik is still clinging to the idea that you can avoid it. Idiot."
"What does Andrew have to do with this? And what fights are you talking about?"
"He goes to the director every day," Clyde said coldly, "trying to argue why you shouldn't be included. Conveniently forgetting that you're a personal bodyguard now. You don't get a choice."
"His silence is making things worse. You're going either way. But if he keeps stalling, you won't even have time to prepare."
"Can someone just explain what these fights are?"
"Ask your overprotective hen," Howard said with a sneer.
"I will," I said, pushing my barely touched plate away and standing up. "I'm leaving."
"Sit."
Clyde didn't raise his voice.
He didn't have to.
"Eat first."
"I'm not hungry."
"I said, sit."
I sat.
Slowly.
Pulled the plate back toward me.
My fingers tightened around the spoon.
I didn't know why I obeyed.
I just knew better than to argue with him right now.
Not like this.
I didn't join the conversation again.
I just forced the food down.
Every bite felt wrong.
Heavy.
Like I was swallowing something I shouldn't.
The moment the plate was empty, I stood.
"Excuse me," I said shortly.
And left before he could stop me again.
My schedule now depended entirely on Silius.
The only things I was still required to attend were field missions and duels.
Not that anyone challenged me anymore.
I trained constantly, following my instructors' schedules.
Clyde never interfered with that.
And now I could attend any lecture I wanted.
Or skip them entirely.
One of the few advantages of this position.
So that's exactly what I did.
I headed straight for the Special instructors' dormitory.
It was my first time there.
It didn't look much different from ours.
Finding Storik's room wasn't difficult.
"Alan?" he asked, surprised, running a hand through his hair.
"Hey," I said, and immediately felt heat rush to my face.
It had been a while since I'd seen him like that.
Bare torso.
Defined muscles.
That black tattoo.
He stepped aside to let me in.
Then, to my quiet irritation, pulled on a T-shirt.
Gone.
"Did something happen?"
"Yes," I said, forcing my thoughts back in place. "What are exhibition fights?"
"Silius… damn him."
"Andrew, what's going on?" I asked. "You've been acting strange lately."
"Have I?" he shrugged. "Doesn't feel like it."
"Listen," I said, dropping onto his bed, exhaustion settling deep into my bones. "I'm grateful you're trying to protect me. But lately, you're overdoing it."
"You won't always be there."
The words slipped out before I could stop them.
"If you keep hovering over me like this, how am I supposed to survive on my own?"
Something tightened in my chest.
Sharp.
Painful.
Because it was true.
He wouldn't always be there.
He would stay.
And I would leave.
With Clyde.
My eyes burned.
I turned away.
I wasn't going to let him see that.
Not now.
Not when I was trying so hard to prove I wasn't weak.
"Hey… Alan," he said quietly, sitting beside me.
"I don't understand anything anymore," I said. My voice tightened despite myself.
"Look at me, Holivan."
I shook my head.
He turned me himself.
Forced me to face him.
There was too much in his eyes.
Too much concern.
Too much of something I couldn't deal with.
I looked down.
"Tell me about the exhibition fights," I said. "Clyde said I have to take part."
"…Yeah," Storik said, something like anger slipping into his voice as he stood. "Another delightful addition to your new position."
"Once a year, every academy selects its strongest Special-class students and sends them there."
"It's entertainment."
"For the aristocracy."
"They watch you fight each other."
"For their amusement."
"It's also a chance to prove yourself. To be noticed. To find a patron."
"For most Specials, it's their only shot at a future."
"Administration. Bodyguard service. Survival."
"But I've already been recruited," I said. "Why send me there?"
"To raise Silius's status."
No hesitation.
"You're going there to perform."
"Like a circus animal."
"To show everyone what you can do."
"Personal bodyguards aren't people to them."
"They're specimens."
"Collectibles."
"Proof of power."
"You're a weapon."
"And that means he is too."
"So I'm there to entertain them," I said flatly.
"Basically," Storik replied.
"But there's more."
"A strong bodyguard is leverage."
"Power."
"The stronger you are, the higher your master stands."
"People think twice before crossing someone who keeps something dangerous on a leash."
"I still don't get it," I muttered. "If Specials are just servants, what difference does it make how dangerous your dog is?"
"A personal bodyguard obeys," Storik said quietly.
"Without question."
"Now think about it."
A memory surfaced.
The day Theodore Holivan was expelled.
That smirk.
That look.
"So they're afraid their own dog might tear their throat out," I said.
"Exactly."
"The stronger the weapon, the more dangerous the one holding it."
"And the less anyone will dare stand in their way."
"I don't think Silius made the right choice," I said, shaking my head. "If he wants to climb higher and tear down the system, he should've chosen someone better."
"I'm inexperienced."
"And on top of that, I'm despised by everyone."
"A noble who betrayed both sides."
"Yeah…" Storik said quietly. "He took a huge risk."
"Even among his own supporters, there's growing dissatisfaction."
"He never mentioned that," I said.
"I deal with external allies," Storik replied. "I see it."
"Their trust in him is slipping."
"They're starting to doubt whether they chose the right leader."