"And how did that make you feel?" Maki asked, her cat ears twitching once, her tail rising and swaying a little. The studio was brightly lit, but the light felt non-intrusive and comforting.
"I… felt ignored," I answered.
"Simply 'ignored'?"
She raised an eyebrow, while her lips turned into a little cat grin. There was a little halo above Maki's head, giving her an angelic illumination.
"Maybe more like people didn't care."
"Is it important to be cared for? You have a very nice brother who cares for you already, if I remember correctly?"
She placed both her fluffy paws on the virtual table.
"Yes… I guess you could say that. In fact, he helped me tremendously today."
I didn't quite give away the fact that I was dying. There aren't exactly many VTubers with terminal illness, as far as I knew. I didn't want to get doxxed. Well, not as in REALLY get doxxed, but I didn't want my identity in this world to get associated with the streamer Bree.
"Tell me, what is missing in your life?"
I looked around. There were all sorts of people in a variety of avatar forms. But as it has been for a while, it seemed cat ears were popular.
At least none of them were laughing.
"Meaning. I think… I feel like my life is meaningless."
"What meaning would you like your life to have?"
"I don't know."
"It's OK Minamong, we are all here because we care about you."
The audience didn't applaud, but they all nodded in affirmation.
"Thanks."
"I'm actually… a VTuber."
There, I said it.
I could hear oohs and ahs from the audience, even a little sense of excitement.
"That is excellent, Minamong. I hope your streams are doing well."
"Far from it. I—"
I stopped just short of revealing that I only get seven viewers.
"I don't get that many viewers."
"We all start from somewhere. When I started this show, I had a single-digit number of viewers for weeks on end. Now look around."
Maki gestured toward the audience, who gave a small cheer.
"How can I become more successful…?" I asked.
"Now, that tip will cost you an arm and a leg!" Maki said, joking.
The audience laughed, then someone yelled out.
"Or a pact with a devil!"
I jolted in my seat, but the audience laughed louder and longer this time.
"We all have our struggles, Minamong. But I'm sure you can pull through."
"I feel like no matter what I try, it always fails, or worse, backfires."
"Mm hm?"
"Like today… I was trying to tell the Chat something serious. Something—personal."
"I see."
"And they laughed. Everyone thought I was joking. Or who knows, maybe they believed it, but still thought it was just funny. People are cruel."
"Aw," the audience moaned in unison, sympathetically.
"But in this place, you are being heard, I can tell you that. We care about you."
"Yeah, Minamong! Fighto!" Someone from the audience shouted and a few more followed. It moved me a bit.
"Tell me, is it really important to be taken seriously by people who don't—at least, seem to—care about you?"
"I guess not…"
"Life is short and we can't please everyone we meet along the way. We must accept we won't be accepted everywhere."
That phrase, 'Life is short' struck a chord.
"But here, in Euphoria, everyone is accepted."
Those words made me want to cry.
"I feel like there are more things you want to say, but it's okay. You can come back again anytime and tell us more, on your own terms, in your own time, in your own words."
"Thanks…. Everyone."
"I'm sure we will continue this talk again in the future. For now, I hope you can get some good rest. Things always feel better after a good sleep."
With that, the cheerful jingle—the theme song for Maki's Daily Healing—started to play, and virtual curtains fell.
I logged off from the chat and took off my VR headset.
"How was it?" Senne asked, intrigued. She told me multiple times already that she wanted to try Virtual Reality too, and assured me many times that the black flame on her face would not burn my headset.
I didn't want to take any chances, though, so the VR world was, for now, out of her reach. I did promise her that I would buy her one if I ever struck gold.
"It's always nice to talk to Maki."
"I find it fascinating."
"What about it?"
"How the Chat in your stream never takes you seriously, but people in that Euphoria world seem completely different. Humans are complicated."
"We certainly are. But Euphoria is better because there is a screening process to join the world. Unlike this real world…"
"I'm also surprised that you passed it."
"Just because I fail at streaming I'm not a bad person."
"I see. So only 'good people' are allowed to join Euphoria."
"Yup."
"A paradise in another dimension. Interesting."
That last word snapped me back to what happened earlier.
"Speaking of something 'interesting,' what was that about earlier?"
"Someone could see me. And hear me."
"That's not possible, though?"
"Indeed, but apparently it is."
"What are we gonna do about it?" I asked.
"What can we do about it?" Senne posed another question instead.
I lay back on my bed, wrapping myself in the cozy blanket.
"I don't know. I really don't know anymore."
It had been a hard day, and all I wanted was to fall asleep before the good feelings of Euphoria wore off.
I wish this world could be more like Euphoria.