(Seoul, Jung-gu)
The alley smelled of cigarettes.
Garbage bags leaking dark that mixed with rainwater, sticky sludge beneath his cheek, Hyunjin could feel it soaking into his skin, but he didn't have the strength to move away.
"Oi, is he even breathing?" A voice above him.
Hyunjin coughed weakly, his ribs screaming in protest, like something forced through shattered glass.
"Oh, he is," another voice laughed "Tough little rat."
A foot nudged his side, Or rather.. where he lay.
Hyunjin didn't answer, He learned a long time ago that talking only made things worse.
"Look at him," one of them said, crouching down, Hyunjin could feel the presence near his face, hot breath carrying the scent of cigarettes "Still got that dead look, You think he even feels it anymore?"
"Maybe we should test that." Laughter erupted.
Hyunjin's fingers twitched.
He wanted to move, He really did Somewhere deep inside, something screamed at him to get up, to run, to fight but his body didn't listen, It hadn't listened in a long time.
Four weeks.
It had been four weeks since they kicked him out of the orphanage.
Four weeks since the thin, barely edible meals disappeared.
Four weeks since the illusion of "shelter" was taken away.
Four weeks of hunger, of sleeping on cold ground, of drifting from alley to alley, trying to survive.
"Hey," the first voice spoke again "Don't pass out on us yet, We're not done." A kick slammed into his stomach.
Hyunjin gasped, air leaving his lungs in a ragged burst, His vision flickered, black creeping in.
They laughed again.
It wasn't even personal anymore, That was the worst part, To them, Hyunjin wasn't a person and, He wasn't even an enemy.
He was just.. something to pass time with.
"Bro, look at his clothes," another one said "Man looks like he crawled out of a dumpster."
"He probably did."
"Should we take his shoes?"
"They're trash."
"Still better than nothing."
Hyunjin stared at the ground, His eyes were dry, They had been for a long time.
Crying took energy, Energy required food and Food required money.
And money.. Well, money was something people like him didn't have.
"Say something," the crouching one said, grabbing Hyunjin's hair and lifting his head slightly, Pain shot through his scalp, but Hyunjin didn't react "C'mon Beg or something, At least make it fun."
Hyunjin's lips parted, Nothing came out, Not because he didn't want to speak.
But because there was nothing left to say.
The boy clicked his tongue "Boring." He let go, and Hyunjin's head hit the ground again with a dull thud.
"Alright, last one," someone said "I'm hungry."
"Same, Let's finish it."
Hyunjin's blurred vision caught a shape bending down.
Something rough scraped against the ground.
"What are you-"
"Relax," the voice chuckled "Just making it memorable for him."
Hyunjin's gaze shifted slightly.
A rock, not too big.
Something inside him stirred.
Not fear, Just.. a quiet, distant realization.
So this is how it ends.
Again.
A strange thought.
Again.
Why did that word feel so heavy?
"Smile for me." the boy said.
Hyunjin didn't smile.
The rock came down.
...
Darkness.
But this darkness was.. deep.
Endless.
Hyunjin floated, Or maybe he was sinking.
He couldn't tell, There was no pain here.
No hunger, No cold, Just silence.
And then, a sound.
A rhythmic beeping.
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
The darkness shifted.
A faint light appeared, distant at first, then growing.
Hyunjin frowned.
Wait, That sound.. Why does it feel familiar?
The light expanded, swallowing the darkness, and suddenly.
He was somewhere else.
A room, white The air smelled clean.
Machines surrounded him, wires attached to his body, and the beeping.
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
Hyunjin blinked, No, not here.
"..Asher." The name slipped through his mind like a whisper.
Asher.. That's.
That's me.
The realization hit like a wave.
He looked down, His body thin, frail, wrapped in a hospital gown.
A mirror stood nearby, He saw his reflection.
Pale skin, Sunken eyes, head covered in short, uneven hair.
"..Cancer." The word echoed.
And suddenly, Everything came rushing back.
The nights.
Lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, counting the Machines beep just to pass time.
The pain, Constant, gnawing, sometimes dull, sometimes unbearable.
The conversations outside his room Doctors speaking in hushed voices.
Family trying to sound hopeful.
Failing.
The books, Stacks of them.
Stories he clung to.
And among them, one stood out.
A world of fights.
Of strength.
Of survival.
Of people rising from nothing.
"..Lookism." He remembered reading it late into the night.
A world where strength decided everything.
A world where people like him..
Weak, Powerless, would be crushed.
"..Heh." A bitter laugh echoed in the hospital room.
Even there.. he couldn't escape it.
The memory shifted, time passed.
Days blurred together, His body grew weaker.
The beeping of the machine slowed.
Beep.
..Beep.
..Beep.
A hand held his, Someone was crying.
He couldn't see who, His vision was fading.
"21." That's how old he was.
Twenty-one years of existence.
And it all ended in a hospital bed.
Just.. Quietly, Pathetically.
The final beep came, and everything went dark.
...
Hyunjin's eyes snapped open, Pain exploded in his skull.
"Agh-!" Air rushed into his lungs as he gasped, his body jolting violently.
Voices surrounded him "Yo did you hit him too hard?!"
"He's awake?! That was fast."
Hyunjin's chest heaved as he stared up at them.
But his eyes, They were different, Not empty anymore.
"Ah." A sound escaped his lips.
Understanding, Everything clicked.
The hospital, The death, The books, The world.
"I.." His voice trembled "died."
The bullies looked at each other "What's he mumbling about?"
"Did we damaged his brain?"
Hyunjin didn't hear them, or maybe he did but they didn't matter.
Not anymore.
His mind was elsewhere.
Running, Connecting, Realizing.
"Lookism.." The word left his mouth.
And suddenly, The truth settled in.
Unavoidable, Real "I've.. been reborn."
Silence.
He understood now, Why this world felt wrong.
Why things seemed.. familiar.
Why his life- This life Had been so cruel.
Because this wasn't just any world.
This was that world, The one he used to read about while lying in a hospital bed.
A world where strength ruled everything, A world where the weak were trampled.
A world where.. People like Hyunjin didn't survive.
"He's creeping me out."
"Yeah, let's just go."
"Whatever, he's trash anyway." Footsteps retreated.
And just like that, They were gone.
Hyunjin, Didn't look at them, Didn't care.
He lay there, staring at the sky barely visible between the alley walls.
"Eighteen." That's how old he was now.
Eighteen years in this life, A full lifetime..
Wasted.
An orphan from the start, No parents, No support, No talent and opportunity.
Bullied, Beaten, Ignored.
And then, Thrown out.
Left to rot.
"Four weeks."
Four weeks of starvation.
Even after everything, He had nothing.
No system, No special lineage, No hidden master, No miraculous second body.
Nothing.
Just.. Him.
Hyunjin let out a weak breath "So this is it, huh?" A bitter smile formed on his cracked lips.
"In a world where monsters exist.." His fingers curled slightly against the ground.
"I'm just.. " His voice faded "..a nobody."
The truth was harsh.
Unforgiving.
Absolute.
He wasn't like the characters he read about.
He wasn't gifted, He wasn't chosen, He wasn't special.
He was.. A starving, beaten, talentless orphan with no future.
Hyunjin closed his eyes "Fine." The word was barely audible "If that's how it is.."
His breathing steadied "Then I'll survive like this."
Just a simple truth, Because he had already died once.
And this time, Even if he was weak, Even if he was nothing.
"Accept what I can't change and Change what I can't accept."
Even if the world crushed him again and again "I won't die the same pathetic way."