"Ugh... my head is splitting," a young man groaned, slowly prying his eyes open.
He blinked repeatedly, trying to adjust to the harsh light hitting his retinas. His name was Zenra. Five minutes ago, he had died after being struck by a neighbor's falling laundry rack from the second floor.
[Check... One, two, three... Test... Test... Good morning, you pathetic and burdensome human. I am the 'Anti-Hero Brother' System. You have transmigrated into the body of Baskara, a dirt-poor extra destined for a gruesome death at the hands of his own younger brother, Cruel.]
Zenra's jaw dropped.
"Wait, death at the hands of my own brother? I just woke up and I'm already getting death spoilers?! No way! I refuse! I just died a ridiculous death by laundry—now you're telling me I'm going to die another pathetic death?! Please, I still have one bowl of spicy meatballs waiting for me at home!"
From now on, let's call him Baskara—or Bas, Aska, or Kara.
[Request denied. Your merit balance is negative 500 because you frequently ghosted delivery drivers in your past life. The only way to survive: make sure Cruel does not turn evil.]
Baskara glanced at the corner of the room. A small boy was busy mutilating a straw doll, systematically detaching its head, arms, and limbs. He looked around. No matter how he saw it, the room was tiny. They were living in a dilapidated shack with a leaking roof that looked ready to collapse, surrounded by plastic trash. Oh God, why this life?
He looked back at the boy who was now his younger brother. The kid looked cute, but why was his behavior so sinister?
"That's... that's my brother? He's so tiny, but his face looks like someone on Interpol's Most Wanted list. How am I supposed to change him?"
Kara stared in disbelief. Back when he was fifteen, he was just a brat who pranked his friends or occasionally "borrowed" their fathers' sandals at the mosque. This kid, on the other hand, was practicing how to dismantle a body.
[First Mission: Give him sincere affection. Hug your brother right now.]
"Just a hug? Easy. Piece of cake," Baskara muttered.
He spread his arms wide, plastered on his most sincere smile, and ran toward the boy.
"Cruel—!"
Before he could reach him, his foot caught the edge of a table. He tripped, falling in the least aesthetic way possible. He face-planted right next to Cruel's feet.
"Brother... do you want to kiss my feet?" Cruel asked, looking at Baskara with pure disgust.
Kara scrambled up immediately, trying to save whatever was left of his dignity.
[Truly pathetic. You just entered this world and your face is already flattened.]
The System mocked him with a judgmental tone.
"Shut up," Kara grumbled. He felt like his nose had gotten even flatter from the impact, but he wasn't giving up yet.
"El, can brother give you a hug?" Kara asked with a confident smile.
Cruel gave him a cold, piercing glare. Did his brother wash his brain with dish soap or something? Usually, Baskara was nothing but cruel and abrasive.
"Pedo," Cruel hissed.
That single word shattered Baskara's spirit instantly. He collapsed onto the floor in a dramatic, soap-opera-style faint.
After a long, dramatic struggle, Cruel finally allowed the hug—though Baskara's left eye had to pay the price. He now had a bruise so dark it looked like a panda had been punched by an orangutan.
Baskara whispered to the System while watching Cruel sharpen a rusty spoon against the wall.
"System... serious question. Can I return this brother? Or maybe a trade-in? At least swap him for a saner one—one who plays with marbles instead of sharpening shivs. I feel like I'm in a thriller movie here."
The System replied flatly.
[I'm sorry, deadbeat. Items that have already left the womb cannot be returned or exchanged for any reason. Our 'No Refund, No Exchange' policy applies cosmically.]
Baskara exhaled sharply. "Fine. Can I manually put him back then? I mean, this kid's aura is already like a top-tier villain, and his pants don't even fit him yet."
[That would violate the laws of this world. If you do that, you and your descendants will be cursed to be cockroaches for seven generations. Interested? I still have the forms.]
"You're heartless! Anyway, what did I even do to deserve this? I wasn't that bad. I never killed anyone!" Baskara protested.
**[It seems you have forgotten your sins. Very well, I shall list a few:
The Sin of the Permanent Lighter. Every time you smoked with friends, you 'forgot' your lighter and pocketed theirs. Your collection of stolen lighters reached 500, forcing your friends to practically rub stones together to make fire.]**
The System projected a memory of his life as Zenra.
"System, that was an honest mistake! You're making me raise a psychopath over some lighters?!"
[One stolen lighter caused one person to miss their smoke, get angry, and snap at their spouse. Domino effect, deadbeat. You are the root of world disharmony.]
Baskara slumped in defeat.
[Sin number two: The Wi-Fi Parasite. You hacked your neighbor's Wi-Fi just to download 4K movies until their internet crawled. When they complained to the provider, you joined in and said, 'Yeah, internet service these days is trash, isn't it?']
"Okay, okay! Are you here to help me or roast me? I know I was cheap, but I was just being a 'good neighbor.' You know... utilizing your resources."
He was mortified. Almost all his dirty laundry was being aired. Luckily, it hadn't mentioned the mosque sandals or the wedding food-crashing yet.
[Based on calculations, the number of people who cursed you reached 1.5 million. Congratulations, you are officially a 'Most Annoying' fugitive in the afterlife.]
Kara ruffled his hair in frustration. He paced back and forth, contemplating his chances of ending up in hell.
"Are Kara and Cruel orphans?" he asked suddenly, keeping his voice low so the boy with the rusty spoon wouldn't hear.
[——]