Back to the previous night at the empty house at the end of the alley... The tense atmosphere in the downstairs dining room suddenly shifted into a hilarious surveillance arena.
Xavier, with the efficiency of a former system, returned to the ground floor, dragging the collar of the boba ghost's flannel shirt, whose face was still puffy from his tantrum.
"Client Number One, please direct your visual focus to the mango tree coordinate outside the window," Xavier commanded in his robotic, stiff tone.
The boba ghost blinked his pitch-black eyes. The moment he looked out the large, dusty window, his spectral heart nearly jumped out of his chest. Up on the mango tree branches, Luna—his ex-girlfriend kuntilanak—was giggling flirtatiously, playfully pinching the shroud of a "Jamet" (trashy/street-style) racing pocong. The pocong was even trying to blow a flying kiss, despite his head being crooked because his ties were loose.
"W-what the hell...?" The boba ghost clapped a hand over his mouth, his blood-tears ready to spill again. "She ghosted me just for a pocong that can't even stand up straight?! And those frangipani flowers he brought? Those are wilted leftovers stolen from the cemetery next door! Her standards have seriously downgraded, dude!"
Luca, who was crouching next to the boba ghost, patted the spirit's shoulder with profit-motivated sympathy. "See? That's what I've been telling you! You're a high-value ghost, bro! You don't deserve to be depressed over a kuntilanak like that. So? Want us to confront them now using the 'Spiritual Vengeance' premium package from my agency?"
"Yes, please! Confront them now! Break them mentally!" the boba ghost shrieked, his thirst for revenge reaching his peak.
Luca stood up straight, glancing at Raffa, who was cracking his knuckles with a bloodthirsty grin. "Raffa, security detail... open the door. Let's teach this pair of trashy spirits a sociology lesson on relationship loyalty!"
"With pleasure, Bang," Raffa smirked.
CRACK!
The sound of the door being kicked open by Raffa made the kuntilanak and the racing pocong on the mango tree jump in shock. They turned their heads robotically, staring down at the strange group that had just ruined their Friday night date.
"Hey! Toxic Kuntilanak and Jamet Racing Pocong! Get down here!" Luca shouted while standing with his hands on his hips under the tree. "The Underworld Relationship Confrontation Session is officially in session!"
Luna, the kuntilanak, glared. "Hih! Who are you guys?! How dare you interrupt our deep talk!" she snapped in a shrill, aggressive voice. She glanced at the person next to Luca and sneered. "Oh... you brought this weak boba guy? Why? Want to get back together? Ugh, not on my level!"
The boba ghost immediately cowered behind Luca's back, his mental state nearly breaking into a dance again.
Seeing his client insulted, Luca signaled his brother. "Raffa, security... execute."
"Got it, Bang," Raffa replied with a sly grin.
Without another word, Raffa stepped forward, wrapped his muscular arms around the thick trunk of the mango tree, and began shaking the tree violently with his predatory physical strength.
KREEEEK! SREEEKKK! SREEEKKK!
The mango tree shook like it was being hit by an 8.0 Richter scale earthquake. The kuntilanak screamed hysterically while clinging to the branches for dear life. Meanwhile, the racing pocong, whose balance was already non-existent because he was tightly wrapped in a shroud, immediately toppled over.
"W-WHY IS THERE AN EARTHQUAKE—ALLAHUAKBAR—BABY, HELP MEEEEE—"
THUD!
The pocong fell freely from three meters up, landing face-first perfectly into a pile of dry leaf litter. Since his hands were tied inside his shroud, he couldn't brace his body, resulting in him rolling helplessly like a mattress bolster for two meters until he bumped into Xavier's shoes.
Xavier looked down, staring at the pocong lying helplessly at his feet with a judgmental expression. He cleared his throat formally and pulled out his administrative notebook.
"Based on the Supernatural Penal Code, Article 351 regarding Violations of Client Human Rights, the subject's unilateral ghosting action is deemed highly unethical. Furthermore, the male subject at my feet has a very low 'spooky value' due to his unesthetic landing position."
"Ow... my spectral nose is wrecked..." the pocong whined from under Xavier's shoe, trying to get up but face-planting again because he kept getting tangled in his own shroud.
The kuntilanak, who finally climbed down because she was afraid the tree would be uprooted by Raffa, stood up to defend her new boyfriend. "Hey, you weird humans! Don't you dare interfere! My relationship with him is built on commitment!"
Luca stepped forward, putting on his best psychologist face and pointing his pen at the kuntilanak. "Commitment my foot! Listen here, Luna! You're only blinded by his 'street racing' status! You don't know that my client here, the boba ghost, is actually a high-value ghost with access to a 90s gold vault?! He could buy you a ghost-salon for a whole year!"
Hearing the word 'gold', the kuntilanak's eyes blinked stiffly. "G-gold...?" She reflexively glanced at the boba ghost, who suddenly puffed out his chest, looking cool because Luca was backing him up.
The pocong on the ground panicked. "Baby! Don't listen to him! He's just relying on stale matcha boba! I'm much more masculine, Baby!"
"Masculine my ass, you can't even jump without limping!" the boba ghost retorted, finally finding his voice thanks to Luca's agency protection.
Hearing the words 'gold bars', Luna's 'gold-digger' instincts kicked in, transcending her ghostly dimensions. Her eyes, which were blood-red, suddenly sparkled. She looked at the pocong rolling on the ground, then turned to the boba ghost with a sudden, albeit obviously fake, sweet smile.
"E-eh... Boba darling... do you really have gold bars? Why didn't you ever tell me that during our deep talk? Hehehe..." she said, walking closer and trying to touch the boba ghost's flannel sleeve flirtatiously.
Seeing the manipulative ex-girlfriend begging, the boba ghost straightened his back. Thanks to the personal branding tactics Luca taught him, he put on an icy-cold expression.
"Sorry, Luna," the boba ghost said, crossing his arms and acting all mysterious. "Our relationship status is discontinued since you ghosted me for that loose-shroud pocong. So, as for this gold... I'm sorry, it's not for your level anymore. We are done."
Luca almost clapped at the success of his psychological education. 'Good job, kid! That's how you do revenge!' Luca thought proudly.
"Wait, why are you being like that, Yang—"
Before the kuntilanak could deploy her crocodile tear jutsu, Xavier stepped forward, closing the distance. The grumpy former system pulled a scientific calculator from his uniform and tapped the buttons at light speed.
Pip pip pip pip!
"Based on the calculation of emotional damages, inflation of feelings, and time spent overthinking by Client Number One over the last three days," Xavier said in his flat, robotic voice, "the ghosting action you committed has caused immaterial damages amounting to two hundred million supernatural rupiah."
The kuntilanak gasped. "Huh?! What kind of fine is that?!"
"If the fine is not paid in the form of spiritual compensation tonight, then our security division..." Xavier glanced to the side. There, Raffa was holding a large wooden beam from the broken door, smiling thinly with a thick aura of bloodlust.
"So? Want to pay peacefully, or should I tear up your boyfriend's shroud even more?" Raffa asked casually but terrifyingly.
The pocong, seeing the beam in Raffa's hand, screamed in terror while trying to scramble backward. "BABY! JUST PAY IT! I DON'T WANT TO DIE A SECOND TIME!"
'Geez, what a deadbeat,' Luca thought, looking at the couple with pity.
Cornered by Raffa's thug-like aura and Xavier's administrative fine, the kuntilanak finally reached into the spectral pocket inside her white dress. With trembling hands, she pulled out an ancient, sparkling pearl necklace. "H-here! This is a diamond necklace from the Dutch era that I found in an old well! Take it! Just let my boyfriend go!"
Luca snatched the necklace before it could hit the ground. Seeing its genuine sparkle, his eyes turned into rupiah signs. "Whoa, real pearls! Okay, fine considered paid! Case closed!"
Xavier nodded, crossing off his notebook. "Clearing registration complete. Client Number One is now free from the burden of the past."
The boba ghost smiled with satisfaction, feeling a massive glow-up tonight because he'd made his ex regret everything while also causing her a financial loss. "Thank you so much, Ghost Psychology Agency! You guys are the best! Tomorrow I'll recommend this place to the tuyul (spirit child) in the next complex who's stressed out because of online gambling!"
"That's the spirit! Word-of-mouth marketing is the most effective," Luca said happily, pocketing the necklace. "Come on guys, time to head to the kitchen and crack open those three gold bars!"
"And you, Luna. A guy like that isn't worth keeping. He's already embarrassing, and now he wants to rob your money for his ransom," Luca added.
"Seriously, his mentality is impressive. Who committed the crime, but who's being forced to pay the ransom?" Xavier added, just as sarcastic.
"Have some self-respect! You got yourself into a criminal den, deal with it yourself, don't be a leech and drain your girlfriend's money!" the boba ghost chimed in.
"She's your girlfriend, not a private bank for you to pay off your criminal debts," Raffa added, glaring at the pocong. After saying that, the three crazy transmigrated teenagers walked back into the empty house with triumphant laughter—ready to loot their first gold vault.