That night… something felt wrong.
Not in the world.
In me.
I was sitting on my bed, my back against the wall, my phone in my hand. The screen was on, but I wasn't really using it.
Just scrolling.
Up.
Down.
Up.
Down.
Nothing stayed in my mind.
Videos, posts, messages… everything passed like empty noise.
I stopped.
"…Why am I even doing this?"
No answer.
I locked the phone and dropped it next to me.
Silence filled the room.
From outside, I could hear distant sounds—
A motorcycle passing.
Someone calling a name.
A dog barking far away.
Normal sounds.
But they felt… far.
Like they didn't belong to me.
I closed my eyes.
And remembered.
The classroom.
The traffic light.
The moment it changed.
"I changed it…"
I whispered.
That was real.
It wasn't imagination.
It wasn't a dream.
I sat up straight.
"If I can change small things…"
My eyes moved slowly around the room.
The desk.
The chair.
My bag thrown carelessly on the floor.
Everything looked… ordinary.
Too ordinary.
I stood up and walked to the desk.
There was a pen on it.
Blue.
Cheap.
I picked it up.
Nothing special.
I placed it down again.
Then I stared at it.
Focused.
Just like before.
That moment in class…
I didn't touch anything.
I just… noticed.
So now—
I tried again.
I stared at the pen.
Hard.
Too hard.
"…Move."
Nothing happened.
I clenched my jaw.
"Move."
Silence.
The pen didn't move.
I laughed a little.
"Yeah… of course. This is stupid."
I turned away.
And then—
Tick.
I froze.
Slowly… I turned back.
The pen had rolled.
Just a little.
A few millimeters.
But it moved.
I stared at it.
My chest tightened.
"No… no, no…"
I stepped back.
"I didn't touch it…"
My heart started beating faster.
"I didn't—"
A sudden headache hit me.
Sharp.
Like something pressing inside my head.
I grabbed my forehead.
"Ah—!"
The pain wasn't normal.
It wasn't like a headache.
It felt like something was being… taken.
Pulled out.
Forced.
I dropped to my knees.
My breathing became uneven.
"What… is happening…?"
And then—
A thought appeared.
Simple.
But terrifying.
"What is… a mother?"
…
I froze.
The pain stopped.
Just like that.
Gone.
I stayed still, breathing heavily.
"What… was I thinking about?"
I tried to remember.
There was something.
Something important.
Something warm.
But it was gone.
Like a word erased from a sentence.
I stood up slowly.
Confused.
Uncomfortable.
I walked out of my room.
The light in the hallway was on.
From the kitchen, I could hear the sound of plates.
I walked in.
She was there.
Standing.
Preparing something.
She turned when she heard me.
And smiled.
"Are you hungry?"
…
I looked at her.
Her face.
Her eyes.
Her voice.
Everything was… familiar.
But at the same time—
Empty.
Like I knew her…
but didn't know what she was to me.
I opened my mouth.
But no words came out.
She frowned slightly.
"Is something wrong?"
I hesitated.
Then shook my head.
"No… I'm fine."
Lie.
I wasn't fine.
Not even close.
I sat at the table.
She placed a plate in front of me.
Food.
Warm.
Smelled good.
I started eating.
Slowly.
Silently.
She kept looking at me.
Worried.
But I avoided her eyes.
Because inside…
A question kept repeating:
"Who is she…?"
Not her name.
Not her face.
But her meaning.
What is she to me?
Why does she matter?
Why should she matter?
I stopped eating.
My hand was shaking slightly.
Something was wrong.
Very wrong.
I went back to my room without saying anything.
Closed the door.
Locked it.
I leaned against it.
Breathing heavily.
Then I looked at the desk.
At the pen.
Still there.
Still.
Silent.
"I changed something…"
I whispered.
"And something was taken from me."
I slowly sat down.
My mind racing.
This wasn't just power.
This wasn't just control.
This was a trade.
A deal.
Something for something.
I looked at my hands.
They were trembling.
"If I keep doing this…"
My voice was barely a whisper.
"What will I lose next?"
Silence.
No answer.
But deep inside…
I already knew.
Everything.