MARQUINE LIFE:
SURVIVING LIFECHAPTER 1: THE
SPACE BUN
DISASTER
My life was
supposed to be
aesthetic today. Ihad the perfect
outfit, the perfect
lighting, and I was
about to record a
new video for my
YouTube channel.
Then, the "MinivanMandate"
happened.
"Marquine! We
'
re
leaving in five
minutes!" Dad
shouted from the
driveway.I looked in the
mirror. My left
space bun was a
perfect,
gravity-defying
circle. My right
space bun? It
looked like a birdhad tried to build a
nest in it and then
gave up halfway
through. I tried to
pin it. I tried to
hairspray it. I
tried to reason
with it.It didn't matter. In
the world of a
14-year-old, a
lopsided bun is a
national emergency.
But there was no
time. I grabbed my
phone, my charger,and a bag of hope,
and ran for the
van.
CHAPTER 2: THE
"DOO-DOO-DOOT
" BEGINSThe minivan door
slid shut with a
sound that signaled
the end of my
freedom. I was
stuck in the middle
row, sandwiched
between a coolerthat smelled like
ham and my
brother, Leo, who
was currently
trying to see how
many goldfish
crackers he could
fit in his ear.Then, it happened.
Dad hit the "Play"
button.
"DOO DOO DOOT!
CHICKA-CHICKA
DOO-DOO!"
He wasn
't just
listening to themusic. He was
becoming the music.
He was beatboxing
to a song that was
older than my
grandparents.
"Dad, please,
" I
groaned, pulling myhoodie over my
head.
"The
neighbors have
ears. The cows
we
'
re about to pass
have ears. Have
mercy.
""Sorry, Marquine!
The rhythm is just
too strong!" he
shouted, hitting a
rimshot on the
steering wheel.CHAPTER 3: THE
1-STAR
MELTDOWN
If there was a
"How to Annoy
Your Daughter"
Olympics, my dadwould have the gold
medal.
"DOO DOO
DOOT!"
Leo started
drumming on the
back of Dad's seat
with sticky,orange-dusted
fingers. Thump.
Thump. Thump.
"Leo, stop it! You
'
re
literally vibrating
my soul,
" I snapped.
I looked down at
my phone. 1%. Thelittle red battery
icon was a tiny
digital middle
finger.
That was it. The
lopsided buns, the
dead phone, theorange dust. It all
boiled over.
"STOP! JUST...
EVERYONE STOP!"
I screamed.
The van went silent.
Dad's hand froze
mid-air."I CANNOT
SURVIVE THIS!" I
yelled, sliding down
onto the
floorboards.
"My
life is a tragedy!
I'm living in a
musical and I don'teven know the
lyrics!"
CHAPTER 4: THE
GAS STATION
GOBLIN
Dad pulled into
"Pete
's PitStop"
—the place
where hopes go to
die.
"Go get a snack,
Marquine,
" Dad
said, handing me
five dollars.
"But
nothing that makesyou look like a
radioactive goblin.
"
I marched inside,
my sneakers
sticking to the
floor. I went
straight for the
back shelf andfound them: Purple
Power Chips. The
girl at the counter
looked at my
sagging space bun
and my purple chips.
"Family road trip?"
she whispered."Is it that
obvious?"
"You have the
'Minivan Stare,
'"
she said.
"DOO-DOO-DOOT!
MARQUINE!
MOVE IT ORLOSE IT!" Dad
yelled from outside.
I wanted to melt
into the floor.
CHAPTER 5: THE
NO-SIGNAL VOIDWe hit the
mountain pass. I
watched the bars
on my phone screen
play a game of
hide-and-seek.
Three bars... two
bars...No Service.
I was forced to do
the unthinkable: I
looked out the
window.
There were cows. I
started naming
them to keep fromgoing insane. There
was Brenda, who
looked like she was
judging my hair,
and Gary, who was
chewing grass with
the same intensitymy dad used for
beatboxing.
CHAPTER 6: THE
ARRIVAL
We finally pulled
into Aunt Sheila
's
driveway. Thehouse was old,
wooden, and looked
like it had been
built before the
invention of the
internet.
"We
'
re here!" Mom
cheered.I stepped out of
the van, my legs
feeling like jelly.
My right space bun
had finally given up
and was now just a
sad ponytailhanging off the
side of my head.
"Welcome to the
wilderness,
" I told
Leo.
CHAPTER 7: THE
FLOOR IS LAVA
(LEO EDITION)"Marquine! Look!
The floor is actual
lava!" Leo
screamed, refusing
to step out of the
van.Between my feet
was a sea of
crushed chips and
empty juice boxes.
He wasn
't wrong.
The floor was a
disaster zone."Leo, just step out!
I need to save
what's left of my
dignity,
" I groaned.
"ENOUGH!" Dad
stuck his head in.
"If everyone isn
't
out in five seconds,I'm turning the
'Doo-Doo-Doots'
back on. At full
volume.
"
We scrambled out
of that van faster
than cats in a
bathtub.CHAPTER 8: THE
DINNER DEBACLE
The real boss fight
was waiting in the
kitchen.
Aunt Sheila stood
over a steamingdish.
"It's my
world-famous
Surprise
Casserole!"
It was a bubbling,
gray-green sea of
mystery topped
with crushedcornflakes and...
raisins?
Dad took a bite, his
face going through
five stages of grief.
"Mmm! Crunchy!"
he choked out.I realized survival
was about
swallowing mystery
broccoli without
crying. I closed my
eyes and took a
bite. My taste buds
did not survive.CHAPTER 9: THE
BACKYARD
SIGNAL HUNT
I slipped out the
screen door to
escape the smell of
boiled socks. Thenight sky was
actually
beautiful—like
silver glitter on
black velvet.
I held my phone up
to the stars.
"One
bar. Just one?"Bling!
A single, flickering
bar appeared. I
sent a text to my
best friend,
Jasmine:
MARQUINE: If I
don't make it back,tell the world my
space buns were
perfect at the
start. Also, never
eat anything gray.
JASMINE: LOL.
Did the casserole
get you?MARQUINE: It
tried. It failed. I
am the captain of
this backyard.
CHAPTER 10: THE
MIDNIGHT
SNACK MISSIONIt was 11:42 PM.
My stomach wasn
't
just growling; it
was staging a
full-on protest.
That "Surprise
Casserole" from
Chapter 8 wascurrently sitting in
the trash can, and
I was pretty sure
the trash can was
trying to crawl
away from it.
Creak.I froze. My
bedroom door
opened an inch. A
tiny, glowing face
peered in. It was
Leo, holding his
tablet like a shield."Marquine,
" he
whispered.
"The
hunger. It's taking
over. I think I'm
seeing
hallucinations ofchicken nuggets on
the ceiling.
"
"Get in here,
Cheeto Goblin,
" I
hissed.
"I have a
plan. But we have
to be silent. If Dadwakes up, he
'll
start a midnight
'Doo-Doo-Doot'
session and we
'll
never get to the
kitchen.
"We crept down the
hallway. Every
floorboard
sounded like a
gunshot. Aunt
Sheila
's house was
old, and it wanted
the whole world toknow we were
moving. We
reached the
kitchen, the air
still smelling
faintly of gray
broccoli."Target spotted,
"
I whispered,
pointing to the top
of the
refrigerator.
Aunt Sheila kept
the EmergencyCookies up there.
The good ones. The
ones with the
chocolate chunks
that actually
looked like
chocolate and not
mystery raisins."I can
't reach it!"
Leo whined,
jumping about two
inches off the
ground."Shhh! Use the
'Boost Strategy
'!"
I grabbed his waist
and hoisted him up.
He was heavier
than he
looked—mostly
because hispockets were still
full of toy cars and
half-eaten granola
bars.
He grabbed the jar.
His fingers slipped.
Clink.We both stopped
breathing. From
the living room, we
heard Dad snore,
turn over, and
mumble something
that sounded like,"Chicka-chicka...
pass the gravy...
"
"Go, go, go!" I
whispered.
We retreated to
my room with theprize. We sat on
the floor, sharing
the cookies in the
dark. For the first
time in the whole
trip, Leo didn
't
kick me, and Ididn
't roll my eyes
at him.
"Marquine?" he
whispered, his face
covered in
chocolate.
"Are wesurvival experts
now?"
"Leo,
" I said,
taking a massive
bite of a cookie.
"We
'
re legends.
"CHAPTER 11: THE
GREAT PACK-UP
PANIC
The sun was barely
up, but the
"Doo-Doo-Doot"
was already at level
ten."Everyone in the
van! We
'
re hitting
the road before
the cows wake up!"
Dad shouted,
swinging a suitcaselike it weighed
nothing.
I was currently in a
life-or-death
struggle with my
backpack. Between
the Purple PowerChips (Chapter 4),
the Emergency
Cookies (Chapter
10), and a weird
seashell Aunt
Sheila gave me
that smelled likeold socks, my bag
was refusing to zip.
"Marquine! Move it
or lose it!" Leo
yelled, zooming
past me with his
tablet. He hadalready claimed
the "good"
seat—the one
furthest away
from the leaky
cooler.I looked at my
reflection in the
hallway mirror. My
space buns? They
were gone. I had
given up. My hair
was now in a
"tactical messybun" that said, I
have seen things. I
have eaten gray
broccoli. I have
survived.
"Auntie, thanks for
the... memories,
" Isaid, giving Aunt
Sheila a hug that
mostly smelled like
her lavender
perfume and that
mystery casserole."Wait!" she cried,
running to the
kitchen. She came
back with a plastic
container wrapped
in three layers of
foil.
"LeftoverSurprise Casserole
for the road!"
I felt my soul leave
my body. Dad took
the container with
a terrified smile."Oh... wow. Thanks,
Sheila. We
'll
definitely... enjoy...
this.
"
As we walked to
the van, I saw Dad
quietly slide thecontainer into the
very back of the
trunk, behind the
spare tire. He
caught my eye and
gave me a tiny wink."Survival of the
fittest, Marquine,
"
he whispered.
Maybe Dad wasn
't
so bad after all.