Chapter One Hundred Forty-Four
The Question
Kat and Jonah's garden. Two years after Katerina's first hunger dream. Early summer.
Katerina was now five years old.
She had grown from a toddler into a small person—curious, bright, and endlessly questioning. She knew about the hunger. She knew about the flower. She knew about the original Katerina, the one who had started everything.
But she had questions that no one had answered.
"Grandma Lilith, can the hunger ever go away?"
They sat in the garden. The silver flower glowed beside them, its golden heart pulsing softly.
"No, little one. The hunger never goes away. It is part of you. Like your eyes. Like your heart. Like your memory."
"That's sad."
"Is it?"
"Yes. Because the hunger hurts. It makes me want things I shouldn't want. It makes me scared."
"The hunger is not a curse, Katerina. It is a gift. A terrible, beautiful, dangerous gift. But a gift nonetheless."
"How can it be a gift if it hurts?"
"Because it teaches you to choose. Every day. Every hour. Every time it whispers, you get to decide who you want to be. A consumer. Or a creator."
"What did you choose?"
"I chose love. I chose David. I chose humanity."
"Was it hard?"
"Every day. Every hour. Every time the old hunger whispered."
"Was it worth it?"
"Yes."
---
The second question – The same time.
"Grandma Lilith, do you still have the hunger?"
"Yes. But it is quiet now. It sleeps. It dreams. It remembers."
"What does it remember?"
"It remembers the beginning. The first hunger. The woman who started everything."
"Katerina."
"Yes. Katerina."
"Was she evil?"
"No. She was hungry. She was scared. She was alone. She did terrible things because she didn't know any other way to be."
"Did she change?"
"Yes. At the end. She learned to give instead of take. To love instead of consume. To live instead of just exist."
"How?"
"She had help. She had Lilith. She had the garden. She had hope."
"Can I have hope?"
"You already do. You're here. You're asking questions. You're trying. That's the first step."
Katerina was quiet for a long moment.
"I love you, Grandma Lilith."
"I love you too, little one."
---
The third question – The same time.
"Grandma Lilith, will I ever hurt someone?"
"Yes. You will hurt people. Because you are human. And humans hurt each other. But you will also heal people. Because you are loved. And love heals."
"How do I know the difference?"
"You listen. To your heart. To your hunger. To the people who love you. They will tell you. If you let them."
"What if I don't want to listen?"
"Then you will hurt people. And you will regret it. And you will have to live with that regret. And then you will try again. And again. And again. That's what healers do."
"I'm scared."
"Good. Fear means you're alive."
---
The garden – Afternoon.
Kat walked among the flowers.
Katerina walked beside her, her small hand in Kat's.
"Mama, I asked Grandma Lilith if the hunger will ever go away."
"What did she say?"
"She said no. But she said it's a gift. A terrible, beautiful, dangerous gift. But a gift nonetheless."
"That's beautiful."
"It's true."
Katerina stopped in front of the silver flower.
Knelt beside it.
"I love you, Katerina. I never met you. But I love you. And I'm going to take care of your garden forever."
The wind blew.
The flower swayed.
And for a moment—just a moment—Kat could have sworn she saw a figure standing among the roses.
Old. White hair. Shaking hands.
Smiling.
"You're doing well, little one," the figure whispered.
And then it was gone.
---
Lilith's room – Evening.
Kat knocked on the door.
"Come in."
Lilith sat in a chair by the window, a blanket across her lap, her white hair loose around her shoulders.
"She asked if the hunger will ever go away," Kat said.
"I know."
"What did you tell her?"
"The truth. That it won't. But that it's a gift."
"Do you believe that?"
"Yes. Because the hunger taught me to choose. To love. To change. Without it, I would still be the woman on the throne. Hungry. Scared. Alone."
"I'm scared for her."
"Good. Fear means you're alive."
Lilith took her hands.
"You are a good mother, Kat. You are patient. You are kind. You are loving. Katerina is lucky to have you."
"I love you."
"I know."
"Say it back."
"I love you, Kat. I love you. I love you. I love you."
"Again."
"I love you."
"Again."
Kat kissed her cheek.
"I love you too."
---
The porch – Night.
Kat sat on the porch swing.
Jonah sat beside her. Katerina slept in his arms.
The stars were bright. The moon was full. The world was quiet.
"How do you feel?" he asked.
"Different."
"Different how?"
"Different because I'm not scared anymore. Different because I trust her. Different because I trust myself. Different because I think she's going to be extraordinary."
"That's growth."
"It's terrifying."
"Good. Fear means you're alive."
She leaned into him.
He put his arm around her.
"I love you," she said.
"I know."
"Say it back."
"I love you, Kat. I love you. I love you. I love you."
"Again."
"I love you."
"Again."
She kissed him.
"I love you too."
The stars shone.
The moon glowed.
And Kat—the daughter of former servants, the granddaughter of a former goddess, the mother of a new generation—sat on the porch swing, held by the man she loved, her daughter in his arms, and felt something she had never felt before.
Wisdom.
---
End of Chapter One Hundred Forty-Four