Some truths shouldn't necessarily be understood, Yet when one uncovers the undisclosed they cannot ignore it anymore. The day began as it normally would; Classes, storage and conversation filled the gap between those that belong together. Loid Ainsworth is aware that he has begun to see patterns within people; The way they greet others, Who will be addressed with appreciation, Who would be treated with indifference and Where Loid fits within the grand scheme.
"Dude! You are so quiet!" Jay was leaning against the rail beside him during break after taking several gulps from a half-empty bottle of pop. "I'm thinking…" was Loid's reply. "That can't be too good of a thing," Jay rolled his eyes sarcastically. Loid fell silent once more, as he continued to look past where he stood again.
Charlotte was in her courtyard standing off to the side with a few other people. Not overly loud and not seeking attention, Charlotte merely existed with her friends. Others did not have to seek her out; Rather, she exuded an attractive energy that attracted others towards her.
"You're doing it again," Jay interrupted his thoughts as he turned his head slightly to see what he was looking at. "You think it's that obvious?" he questioned Jay back with a confused look, as Loid exhaled slowly. "Yep," Jay responded.
Loid turned away in defeat knowing he would never be Charlotte's friend and without a friend; He would be forever stuck being alone.
"Look," Jay said with a more comforting tone, "It's not a bad thing". "I never said that it was", replied Loid in his own form of comfort to Jay. "You are just getting a bit too far ahead of yourself" "Too far ahead?" Loid said with confusion.
"You're looking at her as if she's the destination," Jay said.
Loid didn't answer.
Because he wasn't wrong.
Just as Loid was about to reply, he heard voices in the near distance.
"Are you serious?"
Loid turned his head just a little.
There were a few students standing nearby.
Daniel Brooks was the one talking, and his voice was loud enough for Loid to hear.
"Obvious?" asked one of the students.
Daniel laughed a little.
"Obvious that he likes her," was Daniel's answer.
Loid's grip tightened just a little.
Jay straightened next to him.
"Relax," Jay said quietly to Loid.
But Loid stayed still.
Couldn't.
Because Daniel wasn't finished.
"Bro, I mean, like... You are way out of your league," Daniel said and a few people laughed.
Lightly.
Not rudely.
Just casual.
But casual makes it worse.
"You're talking about Charlotte Vale," said one of the others, "so be realistic."
"Exactly," Daniel agreed, "there are levels of this."
Levels.
The weight of "settled" was more than it should have been.
Loid held his steady gaze.
But there was a change within him, Maybe not anger--maybe not embarrassment..just...clarity.
Jay looked at him. "...Don't worry."
Loid shook his head.
"No."
Jay frowned at him. "You can't be serious."
"Not upset," Loid said very, very quietly.
And he was serious.
What he felt was not hurt.
What he felt was confirmation of everything that he had been noticing, everything he had been considering.
It was real.
There is a gap.
An actual gap.
A measurable gap.
And now...everyone else was able to see it.
"People talk like that. It doesn't mean anything," Jay said.
Loid turned to look at him.
"It's true."
Jay paused.
For a moment, he had no response.
Deep down, he knew it too.
Between the two of them, there was silence.
Then, Loid spoke again.
"But it isn't going to be true forever."
Jay blinked.
"...What?"
Loid's eyes turned back toward the courtyard.
Charlotte was laughing loosely at something Ava said.
Unaware.
Distant.
Loid said, "I haven't reached that level of understanding yet."
Calm.
Steady.
Without hesitation.
Without doubt.
Jay looked at him for a moment.
And slowly...
He started to grin.
"You're serious about this?" he asked.
Loid didn't respond.
He didn't have to.
Because Loid knew where he stood for the first time, and he knew where he was going.
The voices behind him faded into nothing.
Because they didn't matter.
Not what they said.
Not what they called him.
Not which "level" he was.
Only one thing matters.
Closing the gap.
One step at a time.
No shortcuts.
No pretending.
No rushing.
Loid turned away from the railing.
"Where are you going?" Jay asked.
"Library," Loid replied.
"Already?" Jay raised an eyebrow.
Loid nodded.
"If I'm behind, I don't have time to waste."
Jay laughed softly.
"Okay, I'm definitely going to stick around for this," he said, pushing off the railing.
Loid didn't smile.
But he had a different look on his face.
A sharper look.
A more focused look.
A more certain look.
Because this wasn't just a feeling.
This was real.
It was a decision.
And decisions…
changed everything.