I stood outside her door for a few long minutes, weighing the pros and cons of this decision many times over as I wondered if I was going to do more harm than good, or if this was the ideal way to bridge the gap between us ever so slightly.
There was no intention in my heart to lie, either to myself or to her; I wasn't particularly craving the feeling of her being inside of me again, nor was the act of coitus something that made me warm and fuzzy like everyone else described, but... it was a useful tool.
That isn't to say I disliked it either; I just remember the concoction of pain and pleasure that had swirled around inside of me as Isabella claimed my virginity, and to this day I cannot think of something that felt similar.
I just... wasn't particularly desiring the act itself, but knowing that Isabella would enjoy it and perhaps even become a bit more agreeable to everything I needed from her made the idea of sex a bit appealing.
