dear diary
dear diary,
you're all I have, so pardon me
for I always share my pain with you
because I don't think I would get through
the days are still cruel like they used to be
when I told God that I wanted to be free
I don't remember how long has passed
as nothing probably changed from the start to the last
dear diary,
excuse my messy handwriting for I can't clearly see
these tears are getting harder to suppress
and my chest has forgotten how to rest
everything has fallen, and suffering has become a hobby
and pain became familiar, that it always finds me
darkness became a home
that embraced my shattered heart that was thrown
I wake up wishing that I had not
I endlessly imagine that the lifeline's flat
and wonder if I would hear their cries
just to know if they acknowledge my desperate tries
dear diary,
if I am to meet the little me
I would tell her not to be too silent all the time
so she could ask for help when she's not fine
dear diary,
I wish that life would be gentle to me
for I lost my path I once followed
that I started to live like everything is borrowed