While Agents of shield was being formed, Hydra prepared its own schemes and Avengers got ready to face all the dangers, somewhere in the multiverse something else was happening.
Deadpool sat in a chair with his hands cuffed behind his back, one boot resting casually on the table in front of him. Across from him stood a TVA agent, a TemPad in one hand and an expression that suggested he had already regretted taking this assignment.
"Your universe is dying," the agent said.
Deadpool tilted his head. "Okay. Starting with the bad news. I appreciate the efficiency. Usually people make me sit through twenty minutes of PowerPoint before telling me I'm screwed."
"This isn't a joke."
"That's unfortunate. Because I have several."
The agent ignored him and activated the TemPad. A holographic projection appeared between them, showing an enormous branching structure of timelines. One by one, entire branches flickered orange before collapsing into nothingness. "Your reality has suffered a catastrophic temporal destabilization. The timeline is no longer capable of sustaining itself. Eventually, the entire universe will be erased."
Deadpool stared at the projection. "So… my universe is getting deleted?"
"Yes."
"Like a bad Netflix show?"
"Essentially."
Deadpool leaned forward. "Can I complain to whoever's in charge? Because I've watched some terrible things survive cancellation. I know a certain reality where everyone sings every Wednesday. That place should have been deleted years ago."
The agent sighed. "There is one possibility."
Deadpool immediately sat upright. "Ah. There it is. The sentence every doomed person waits for. 'There is one possibility.' Followed by something horrifying like 'you have to fight God' or 'we need your liver.'"
"We need an anchor being."
Deadpool blinked. "An anchor… being?"
"A person whose existence is so deeply tied to the stability of their universe that they effectively hold it together. When an anchor being dies or disappears, their universe begins to decay."
Deadpool pointed at himself. "So I'm the emotional support human?"
"No. You are not the anchor being."
"Rude."
The agent swiped through several readings. "Normally, we would locate the anchor being of your universe and extract them. But your universe has a problem. Its anchor is already dead."
Deadpool went completely still for a moment. "Oh."
The agent changed the projection. A single figure appeared in the center of the holographic display: a silver-haired man wearing a green flak jacket, a forehead protector on his head.
Deadpool stared at the image. "…Who the hell is that?"
"Kakashi Hatake."
"Sounds like a sneeze."
"He's not from your universe."
Deadpool's eyes narrowed. "Then why are you showing me Ninja Sneeze?"
"Because he may be able to serve as an anchor."
Deadpool slowly looked back at the agent. "Wait. You just told me anchor beings are tied to their universe."
"They are."
"And you just showed me some random masked ninja from another universe."
"He isn't random."
"Okay, sorry. Some professionally organized masked ninja from another universe."
The agent zoomed in on Kakashi's temporal readings. Unlike the countless branching lines surrounding other people, Kakashi's existence appeared strangely isolated. There was a single line connected to him, but it vanished into a dark space rather than branching outward.
"Kakashi Hatake's existence is unusual," the agent explained. "He does not belong to the normal temporal structure of his universe. His origin is disconnected from the timeline we're tracking. His existence was inserted into that reality without a conventional temporal anchor."
Deadpool slowly raised his hand.
"What?"
"So you're telling me this guy is basically a cosmic loophole?"
The agent paused.
"That is… an unexpectedly accurate description."
Deadpool stood as far as the restraints allowed. "I knew it. I knew ninjas were cheating."
The agent continued, "Because Kakashi isn't properly anchored to a single timeline, he can potentially stabilize another collapsing reality without being destroyed along with it. He exists outside the normal rules that govern temporal causality."
Deadpool stared at Kakashi's holographic image for several seconds before pointing at it.
"So the plan is to kidnap the ninja."
"Extract him."
"Kidnap."
"Extract."
"Kidnap."
"Extract."
"Fancy kidnapping."
The agent pinched the bridge of his nose. "If you want to call it that."
"I absolutely do."
The hologram changed again, displaying Deadpool's universe alongside Kakashi's reality.
"The important part," the agent said, "is that Kakashi doesn't need to belong to your universe to stabilize it. In fact, his lack of conventional temporal attachment is exactly what makes him useful. He could potentially become a replacement anchor without becoming permanently bound to your reality."
Deadpool's head tilted.
"So he can hold my universe together without becoming part of it?"
"Correct."
"So we're stealing a ninja from another universe because my universe needs a babysitter."
The agent looked exhausted. "That is the simplest way to describe it."
Deadpool smiled beneath his mask.
"Okay. I like him already."
"You haven't met him."
"Silver hair. Mask. His eyes tell that he looks emotionally unavailable. Probably has a tragic backstory involving dead friends and questionable parenting decisions."
The agent stared at him.
Deadpool pointed at the hologram. "Don't look at me like that. I've seen enough anime to know where this is going."
The agent shut off the projection. "Your mission is simple. Find Kakashi Hatake. Convince him to come with you. If he agrees, we can attempt to use his temporal signature as an anchor for your universe."
Deadpool considered that.
"And if he doesn't agree?"
The agent hesitated.
Deadpool's eyes narrowed.
"Don't say it."
"We may have to forcibly extract him."
Deadpool slowly stood.
"Oh, absolutely not."
The agent frowned. "You just agreed to the mission."
"I agreed to asking the ninja. I'm not getting into a fight with a guy who looks like he can kill me while reading a children's novel."
"He can't kill you."
"That's what you think."
"You're immortal."
"So is my confidence."
The agent sighed. "Deadpool, your universe has days."
Deadpool looked at the darkened screen where Kakashi's image had been.
For once, he didn't immediately make a joke.
Then he pointed toward the door.
"Fine. Let's go get the ninja."
The agent opened the door.
Deadpool stopped beside him. "One question."
"What?"
"Does he have a dog?"
"No."
"Damn. I was hoping we could call the mission Operation Ninja Dog."
-----Author Notes---------
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