NEFERTARY
Tristeza en medio del caos.
The sound of my boots against the gravel announced my arrival.
The last time I came here was the day he died, so... 'here I was, among the ruins of what was left of that night'.
There was no cemetery, no tombstone, since his body had been cremated—and I have no idea where his "mother" might have scattered the ashes.
The air was still, nothing like that night.
I walked toward the rubble that remained of the old building—or warehouse, whatever it had been.
My steps were weak. My body moved on its own; it was obvious it wanted to get out of here, but I had to speak.
I had to try to make things right in order to move forward.
Not just because I owed it to him... but because 'I owe it to myself'.
Three months, Ossoclu. Three months since... —I pause for a moment, trying not to break down, 'because it still hurts, it still burns... it still scorches my soul'.
—I've read a few of your letters. I swear I need two whole days to prepare myself before reading the next one —I look off to the side as if avoiding his gaze, as if he were truly here—. You know what I'll never get over? —I paused again before continuing—. That after all the times you said you'd be there for me, that you'd "always" be by my... by my side —God, these damn tears are stubborn—. You didn't keep your promise.
I needed to be strong, 'just not today'.
—You could've stayed out of it, you didn't have to be the "hero," but you saw something in Mathias I'm only just beginning to understand.
I wrote you a letter... if you still deserve it —I sat down on a piece of rubble and pulled out the crumpled paper.
Letter:
'Idiot', that's what I thought the first day you spoke to me. Arrogant and overconfident.
I'll admit you had guts... anyone else would've run away like a cowardly rat.
But you, stupid Russian... what did you even have to lose? You stayed.
What I thought would just be a fleeting connection turned into a bond no one could break.
Well, at least that's what I believed... until death stepped in, leaving me only memories, like that kiss.
I never said it, but I was in shock. I didn't know how to react—nothing like that had ever happened to me.
No guy had ever even tried... but you, dumb Russian, the word fear didn't exist in your brain.
It was funny seeing you those next few days begging for my forgiveness before I flew back to Switzerland.
Those ridiculous "gifts" you gave me...
Very original of you to bring me a rock from the place we never got to visit, huh? Or that damn frog for a dissection... I already did that in bio class, idiot.
But hey, we were never normal. Why would we be?
Your craziness... in some twisted way, I liked it.
I loved it.
The way you'd read and predict my behavior amazed me, because let's be honest, you were the only one who ever took listening to me seriously.
You were the only one who tried to put yourself in my shoes, or who would just sit next to me in silence when there was nothing left to say, simply keeping me company.
You were the first guy in every way, Demir...
Now I know I have to learn how to live without my own personal galaxy.
Yeah, those freckles that looked like stars across your face.
How many times did I lose myself just staring at them?
I could swear you caught me doing it... and you'd just laugh, because of course.
Hiding things from you was never my strength. It never was.
To the boy who called me "мой северный полюс"
With all the obsession and madness in the world, Nefertary Ibagon
I was a mess. An emotional mess.
My eyes... it was like I'd turned on a faucet and just let the water run.
My chest was tight, like every breath hurt more than the last.
—But like in your letters, Ossoclu, I have a song too.
Or maybe I should say... I'd heard it before, but I never felt it the way I do now.
I pull out my phone, unlock it, and open Spotify to search for the song.
The melody begins to play, so nostalgic and haunting.
The girl's voice starts soon after. I whisper the lyrics.
'It felt ironic, like I'd told the artist my life and she turned it into art.'
It played all the way through.
—Dancing With Your Ghost – Sasha Sloan.
I said it just like I did the first time.
I stood up, gave one last look. Took a deep breath. Let it go.
I waited for a few minutes, but nothing else came to mind. Only one word surfaced:
—Goodbye, Demir... goodbye, Demir Ossoclu.
And with that, I turned to leave that place that hurts, that suffocates...
even if it doesn't kill me, it feels like it slowly does.
✧────── ༉───✦───༉ ─────✧
When I arrived at the mansion, the first thing I noticed was the security guards. Steven had given most of them the day off—only the most trusted ones remained. It was time to end this… to destroy my creator.
'Leave your feelings outside, especially with people who don't deserve to see them.'
The car door opened for me, allowing me to step out.
My steps were determined—there was no room for regret. It is what it is.
—Miss Nefertary, everything is as planned —he informed me as soon as I arrived—. Young Mathias is off the property, safe. The others are… occupied.
—Has she arrived? —I asked coldly.
—Yes, she's in the living room.
He stepped aside to open the door and signaled for three men to join us. That was my cue to take the first step, followed by the rest.
There she was, sitting with elegance, not even lifting her eyes. Still reading her book, sipping her tea.
—Is all this drama really necessary? —she said with such neutrality it only made me feel more disgusted by her.
—Do you really want me to answer that? —I replied in the same tone, setting the book aside and finally meeting her gaze.
—You've always been a mirror image of your father. Shame he failed you too —of course she was trying to provoke me, but I didn't bite.
I walked forward and sat on the sofa across from her.
—Mrs. Ziegler, are you aware of what's happening?
She took a sip from her cup, as if we were having the most casual mother-daughter chat.
—Are you going to kill me? —I gave her a smile in response—. I figured you'd drop that whole act… although deep down, I knew you wouldn't. Chaos was always your essence… Serene. —My body tensed at the sound of that name. I don't doubt she noticed.
—Just one question: why didn't you make it easier for me? —She pretended to think, then sighed like the topic exhausted her.
—Would that bring your father back? —I said nothing—. That's why I didn't tell you. Wasting time is one of your favorite specialties, since you never learned to obey, Nefertary Ibagon —she spat with hatred, like I had ruined all her plans—. All my efforts —she stood from her seat and began pacing—, all these years I invested in making you the best in this family, all of it went to hell because of your damned narcissism, your twisted obsessions. You turned into a useless parasite, the biggest stain on the Ziegler legacy.
How could it still hurt? The hatred in her eyes, the disgust with which she looked at me... Even though I always knew she'd never feel affection for me.
She was just showing her true self—her nature.
I wanted to cry, not from sadness… I wanted to cry for everything she's made me endure.
But that would only give her satisfaction, and I wasn't going to let her have that.
—Are you done? —I asked, completely blunt.
—When will you end it? —she sat back down—. I expected to be another toy in your stupid medieval games.
—Vanessa Ziegler —I dragged her name—, you're not worth my time, especially not now, and look at me... here I am —she said nothing, so I continued—. Egil will fall, just like my dear sister. Though you… you won't suffer as much. —She began to laugh like a lunatic.
—Not suffer? —she stood and tried to come at me, but the men with me were faster and held her back—. I put you at the top, I did, you worthless bitch! —she screamed, unable to reach me.
—No, you didn't —I said with fury and disdain as I stood—. It was Gregorio Ibagon who left me an empire, and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to destroy the Zieglers. But not for him—for me. For my freedom —I growled through my teeth.
—Freedom? Weren't you already free? —she mocked, feigning sorrow.
—I've never been free, and you know it. You made sure of that —I laughed.
This time, I was the one walking slowly around the room—. You can let the lady go. I doubt she'd forget her manners and 'stoop to my level.'
They obeyed, letting her go. She just glared at them with death in her eyes.
—Finish it already, Nefertary —she ordered.
—You'll end your own life. I won't stain my hands with your blood. You're not worth it.
But like you always said, dead weight has to be dealt with. —Steven approached and placed the gun on the table between us. Her eyes locked onto it—. You know what to do. You say you've never been free? Don't you think it's finally time?
I didn't need to say anything else. I didn't need to waste my breath on someone who wouldn't even stop to think for a second.
So I turned and walked away.
Only my footsteps could be heard—until a gunshot rang out.
That sound made me pause, but I didn't turn around. I didn't look back.
I didn't even feel guilty...
as if the weight I had carried on my shoulders for so long had finally left with that echo.
I kept walking.
I could finally say... 'I was tasting freedom at last.'